So Incredibly Plain
by littlepiggi
Summary: I am plain; contacts, a makeover and a pretty dress won't ever change that. I can't sing like an angel and I'm only average in school.  There's nothing special about me-all I really have is my heart.   MorixOCxKyouya  Undecided ending
1. Summer Begins

There once was an average girl. Her grades were average, her artistic talent was average...even her sense of humor was average. She had an average face, which looked slightly above average when somebody particularly talented with makeup put it on her. Her athletic abilities were average, if not slightly below average-long story short, everything about her was average. Nothing about her was out of the ordinary in any direction, good or bad. She didn't have much ambition and looked forward to nothing besides when the next exciting movie would come out in theatres. Most likely, this girl would continue to lead on an average life, struggling financially, settling down for a reasonably decent man to marry, having a few children who would grow up to be resentful towards her-you know the drill.

And this girl...well this girl is me.

My name is Momoku, Momoku Murayama.

As I tap tap tap away my pencil against this hopeless scantron I try to imagine what the highest possible grade would be if I managed to get the rest of these questions wrong. There were 15 more questions to go, out of the whole 50 questions on the exam. Out of the previous 35 I had answered, I was only sure about a rough 19. The rest had been a mixture of guestimates and picking letters that I hadn't filled in for a while. You see, if I got at least a C on this exam, then I could pass the class with a B-. If I got an A on this exam (highly unlikely), I could pass the class with a wonderful B+. Either way, I'd pass the fucking class. It's not like I was aiming to get into Honors Chemistry anyway. I wasn't aiming for anything much besides my high school diploma actually.

You see, all the smart ones didn't go to Ruho High. No no, all the smart ones got scholarships, got accepted into other schools-good schools. Tsuko Hironaka had gone to Tokyo High, a prestigious high school that guaranteed acceptance into a lot of colleges, granted you did reasonably well. Saori Ono had also gone to Tokyo High. Megumi Noki went to Kijora High on scholarship and Haruhi Fujioka had gotten into the most prestigious school of them all, Ouran High (and on full scholarship).

I still remember the day she had told us she had been accepted, it was mind-numbing to most of us, and yet it made sense. If anyone were capable of winning that scholarship to Ouran High, it was Haruhi Fujioka. Her genius had been prevalent since elementary school and that was something that had never changed. As her friend I was happy for her, mostly. As a human I was incredibly envious, unreasonably jealous. I had always been jealous of Haruhi Fujioka. I had asked her if the rumors of her being accepted into Ouran High were true. She had said yes, and I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I had to force the smile which graced my face. I had congratulated her and hugged her. I had told her I would miss her and she said that she would miss me as well, but that she'd keep in contact with me.

"Five minutes left. By this time you should be rereading your answers and checking them over." Well shit. I had at least 8 more questions left, forget about rechecking my answers. What would be chances of scoring at least one point if I filled in 'B' for the rest?

Whatever, 'B' it was.

"Pencils down. Everyone pass in their exams. The semester has officially ended! Everyone enjoy your summers." There was a lot of grumbling as we passed in our exams, but the grumbling was equally matched by shouts of excitement. As I packed my backpack, my friend Migi bounded up to me, the relief of another school year done with shining in her eyes.

"Momo-chan! Summer is here!"

"I guess so? You know how I always spend my summers."

"Right right, the fishing boat. Oh, I told your parents I can't help out this summer. My family and I are going to Switzerland to vacation for the summer, just found out yesterday, dad got a got a bonus with his paycheck!"

"Rub it in why don't you? Bah, my parents have probably already found someone else to fill in anyhow." I stuck my tongue out in envy and Migi shot me a smirk and a wink.

"If I could take you along I totally would. Who do you think your parents got to fill in for me?"

"No clue."

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"Haruhi." Her name blurt from my lips when I came home to find her sitting on the ground with my parents, sharing tea with a bright smile on her face. She turned around and looked at me, her bright doe-eyes looking at me with almost sickening cheerfulness and kindness. I forced a smile onto my face and knew that it was pretty convincing.

"Momoku! I haven't seen you for so long! I've missed you! I tried calling you a few times, but I think you must have changed your number or something!"

"We never-"

"-Oh! My bad. I should have called you then. I missed you too." I lied quickly, interrupting my mother before she could say anything. Haruhi moved over a bit and I sat down next to her at the table, pouring myself a cup of tea and glancing up at my parents across from me.

"So...you're here because..."

"Oh! Haruhi came to answer our ad for some extra hands on the fishing boat this summer! We were going to ask Tono, but it was so nice to see a familiar face, and Haruhi's always been dependable and a hard worker right? Did you know Haruhi's going to Ouran High School? The most prestigious-"

"Yeah, I remember when she got accepted." I interrupted my mother again, not really wanting to listen to her gush about Haruhi's achievements. Haruhi on the other hand waved her hand as if to bat away the compliments.

"Oh it's no big deal. It's not really all it's cracked up to be. Most of them are just rich and spoiled."

"But it's still a wonderful accomplishment Haruhi. You should be proud. I know Ranka is. Whenever I run into Ranka at the grocery store he's always raving about how much you've accomplished on your own. Why can't you be more like her Momoku?" My mother asked and her question only irritated me. If my mother had a trademark move to call her own, it was comparing me to other children.

"Now honey, Momoku tries hard too. But moving on, Haruhi, we'll be leaving at dawn tomorrow, so have everything packed and ready alright? You've helped us out on the fishing boat before so you already know what you need right?"

"Of course Mister Murayama. I won't let you down, you can count on me." Haruhi assured him, her voice full of promise. My father nodded in approval at her, a nod that was rarely given to me.

"Of course Haruhi, you've always been very dependable. Momoku, why don't you and Haruhi go out and get something to eat? You guys should go and have a good meal before we leave tomorrow. Here, take my card." I begrudgingly took his credit card, knowing full well that if it had been anybody else besides Haruhi on this trip with me, my father would have not expressed such generosity.

"Mister Murayama you don't have to do that-"

"I insist. Now go go, run along. You have a big summer ahead of you."

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"You've changed so much since I last saw you." Haruhi broke the silence as we walked down the street, looking for a reasonable place to eat at.

"I see you have as well. Cut your hair and such." She laughed, running a hand through her hair and messing it up without thinking. Another little pang of jealousy ran through me as even such a simple act like _that_ was made cute by her.

"Yeah I did. Some little boy had gotten gum stuck in it, so I just cut it off. Seemed like the best thing to do. Your hair on the other hand seems to have gotten much longer."

"Yeah." _Yeah._ That was the about the extent of what I had to contribute to the conversation which seemed to be heading towards an awkward direction. But maybe the awkwardness was only in my head, the last I recalled, Haruhi seemed to completely oblivious when it came to everyone else's emotions. Chances were, she wouldn't know an awkward situation even if it hit her in the face.

"I wrote you letters once or twice. You never responded." She continued and I wondered if she were actually evil inside, intentionally making the situation awkward and trying to make me squirm.

"I meant to write you back, but I forgot to." I lied. I had never any intention of writing her back.

"Momoku, do you still see me as a friend?" She asked out of the blue and I paused, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to look at her. She didn't notice that I had stopped until she had gone several feet on her own. When she finally noticed she turned around, giving me a smile and a quizzical look. I stared at the girl who was an anomaly in more ways than one. I mulled over her question, debating whether or not I should straight up lie. If I told the truth, it could lead to an entire summer of awkward interaction. If I lied, it'd lead to a mere forced summer of interaction. But then again, Haruhi Fujioka was impervious to awkward.

"Something wrong Momoku?"

"No, nothing's wrong. Just thought we should eat here. They have some really good noodles."

When in doubt. Lie.

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"Let me get this straight, all of Ouran High thinks that you're a boy?"

"Right, except for the Host Club, they know I'm a girl."

"But at first they thought you were a boy?"

"Right."

"And-oh, pull up your line, it's about to be overfilled-you're working as a male host for the club to pay off the 8 million yen debt?"

"Oh you're right, it is almost over-filled. Yeah, because I broke the vase for the auction."

"Is this why you're working on the fishing boat for the summer?"

"No, I usually work with Kaito at the resort for the summer."

"Then why are you here?" The words slipped before I could stop them and they came out much meaner than I had intended for them to. Haruhi didn't seem to notice and instead controlled the levers to pull in her haul to the tank in the lower deck of the boat.

"Because I wanted to spend time with you. I've missed you. We were good friends." She said it so simply, so sincerely that it made me sick to my own stomach. Even her personality was evidence that she was better than me. I ignored her answer by lowering my net and turning to stack crates on top of one another for easy access. It was only the third hour into the day and my arms were already sore.

"It sounds like you made a lot of good friends at Ouran." I commented unnecessarily. Haruhi shrugged, taking a few crates from me and also stacking them.

"To me they're all a bit foolish, except for maybe Kyoya, he's just a little scary, but they always mean well. But I miss talking to people who actually know how a bus works. I miss people with common sense period actually, people who know how to function in the real world without servants and all that nonsense."

"You mean poor people?"

"No, I mean regular people. People who actually have to work to get what they want in life."

"Right. Haruhi, take the control for my net, I have to go check that the tank is filling up alright."

"Will do."


	2. Introductions

"Finally! A meal that isn't fish!" I shoved a handful of potato wedges into my mouth, ignoring the look of bewilderment that crossed Haruhi's face as I unashamedly pigged out. Chicken. Fried chicken. Instant mashed potatoes and gravy made from who-knows-what. The moment my parents had stopped at Onagawa to deliver our fishy goods, I had grabbed Haruhi and made a beeline straight towards KFC. For about a week straight we had eaten the 'runts' of our catches. Granted, fish was delicious, don't get me wrong...but a week straight of nothing but fish breakfast, lunch and dinner could get a bit tiring. And though Haruhi had been a real trooper, I knew she was pretty excited about eating at KFC as well, the way she shoveled the neon-orange macaroni and cheese into her mouth.

"At Ouran they never give us food like this. It's always healthy, organic...all that nonsense. They don't know what they're missing out on." She remarked and I nodded in agreement, stuffing another drumstick into my mouth and ripping off a gigantic chunk. There was something incredibly satisfying in eating so brutishly. I took this moment to glance at my watch, nearly choking as I saw the time.

"Haruhi! We have to go! We're supposed to meet my parents in the town square in ten minutes!"

"Oh! Right! Let's go!"

I stuffed the leftovers into the bag, unwilling to let go of them just yet. Come ten minutes and it was going to be nothing but fish again. As we reached the center of town I looked up to the sky to see a peculiar thing. Far above us was a helicopter, hovering and seeming to descend. I nudged Haruhi and pointed upwards at the black shape in the sky.

"Look Haruhi. What in the world is a helicopter doing here? I've never seen a helicopter in person before."

"Oh no.." Was her response, and she facepalmed, shaking her head in disbelief. This was not the sort of reaction I had expected.

"Um..Haruhi? Do you know what's going on?"

"I hope not..."

I gave her a quizzical look but got distracted as the helicopter began to descend. In awe I backed away with Haruhi so as to not get crushed by 4 tons of unforgiving metal. As it landed I glanced over to Haruhi again, who still had her face buried in her hand.

"Haruhi! Don't you want to see who's in the helicopter?" I asked excitedly and Haruhi grumbled.

"I'm afraid to see who-"

"-HARU-CHAAAN!"

Haruhi wasn't the only one who froze. It seemed that my heart had stopped for a moment as the voice of a ten year old pierced the air over the loud chopping of the helicopter blades. _Haru-chan?_ Some..some kid was calling out for Haruhi from a helicopter?

"HARUHI! DADDY'S HERE!"

"Oh Jesus.." Haruhi mumbled and I watched in shock as several men climbed out of the helicopter, each one ridiculously beautiful and exotic looking. I held my breath as they the tall blond one ran straight past me to Haruhi, gathering her up in his arms and swinging her around. Quickly after him the ten year old, and right behind him, the rest followed.

"Haruhi! Daddy's here to see how his wonderful daughter is doing!"

"You're not my dad, senpai please-"

"-Haru-chan! Usa-chan and I missed you!"

"Hi Honey-senpai...what are you guys doing here?" She asked behind me and I felt like I had become invisible, almost too nervous to turn around and accurately survey the scene before me. Had I induced some sort of delirium in eating too much preservative-laden KFC in one sitting? Haruhi didn't seem fazed by a helicopter full of boys our age coming to greet her. She also didn't seem fazed by the fact that a strange blond boy referred to her as his daughter and to himself as 'daddy'. That in itself was disturbing enough. Did nobody find it weird that a helicopter full of beautiful men seemed to have appeared out of nowhere? Maybe I really had eaten too much KFC. Maybe it had been the bright neon orange mac & cheese that did me in, when I thought about it, I remembered it not smelling quite right.

"Yo! Haruhi!" The voice belonged to one of two red-headed twins, both of them identical, and both of them gorgeous. I could do nothing but watch in awe as they put one arm on either side of Haruhi and casually pushed the blond one away with a not-so-gentle shove. They all walked past me one by one as if I were wallpaper, each one more painfully beautiful han the last. and I could only stand with my mouth open.

"Seriously...don't you guys have anything better to do during your summer? Even you Kyoya-senpai?"

"Tamaki was most insistent that we join you in your...commoner's summer job. But as you know, my family is in the Health industry, on top of the Ootori Hospitals, we're also starting a branch in the food industry. I've come to research what it takes to have the freshest ingredients, as local fishing is fresher than anything imported." The boy with glasses stated, taking out a clipboard and writing something down before putting it away. Now this boy, was unlike the rest in that he didn't smile and that he seemed like a 50 year old business man trapped in a 17 year old's body. As I thought this he momentarily glanced at me and in reaction I stiffened, straightening up immediately as if I were being sized up to be killed.

"You guys just can't join wherever you'd like. This isn't like when you showed up at the resort. We're going to be in the middle of the ocean-"

"Ah yes, I saw that...rowboat you were using before and requested that a proper fishing boat be sent. It should be here at any moment."

_Proper...fishing boat? Row boat?_

It took a few seconds, but I quickly realized that he was talking about _my family's_ boat. That was _my_ family's rowboat he was insulting and replacing without even asking.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with our boat. It's a proper fishing boat already." I half-heartedly shouted, feeling intimidated before I even started, but it was enough to get their attention. The gorgeous boys turned snapped their heads towards me, acknowledging my existence for the first time. Haruhi smiled and walked over to me, linking my arm with hers as she addressed her..uh...friends.

"Kyoya-senpai, that was rude of you. Guys, this is my friend from middle school, Momoku. Momoku this is, uh, the Ouran Host Club. I guess you know Kyoya-senpai now and-"

"Momo-chan! Hiii! I'm Hani! And this is Takashi!" I temporarily forgot how to regulate all my basic functions as a 6 foot something giant stepped towards me, the little blond boy on his shoulders. He overwhelmingly towered over me up close, his expression looking like it was carved in stone while somehow managing to be mind-numbingly handsome. I moved my mouth to say 'hello', but to my surprise, no actual sound came out. Quickly I felt my hands being gathered into someone else's and out of nowhere, the tall blond was in my face, his sparkling blue eyes twinkling at me as he smiled.

"So you are another commoner friend of Haruhi's? Any friend of Haruhi's will be treated with the utmost respect! I am Tamaki Suoh, otherwise known as Haruhi's father, I look after her as if she were my own daughter! I'm sure we will have a great time-"

"Senpai, you're scaring her. And sorry guys, this time you really can't come along. Ah, Momoku, there are your parents. Murayama-san!" I turned to see my parents but didn't really react. This whole thing felt all too surreal and it was as if I were surveying the scene from a third person point of view. I watched as my parents waved back, watched as they approached us and had no trace of surprise on their face at the random group of boys with us. I also watched as my mother and father took turns shaking Kyoya's hand like they knew each other-and I probably would have watched everyone to the end of time, till my body withered to dust...had Haruhi not nudged me, a look of surprise as she regarded the scene.

"Kyoya-senpai? Have you and Momoku's parents met..?" Haruhi began to ask tentatively, a question that the both of us wanted answered. My mother looked at Haruhi and then to me, before returning her saccharine smile back to Kyoya.

"He called ahead of time to tell us that he'd be meeting us here. He told us that they wanted to help out to research for a little school projec. Isn't that nice of them to help us Momoku?" When my mother asked me the question, for some reason my immediate reaction was to shout out 'no', but I squashed the reaction down to the pit of my stomach and instead settled for offering her a shaky smile.

"Yes, it'd probably be a lot easier to fish on the boat they've provided anyhow. Easier than fishing on a rowboat at least." I had let the last sentence slip unintentionally as my lack of grace let my spite show on my sleeves like blinking Christmas lights. The Kyoya boy only raised an eyebrow in reaction and the other members of the host club seemed to be surprised by the news as well. The littlest one with the blond hair tugged on Kyoya's sleeve for his attention.

"You already spoke to Momoku's parents and stuff? How did you know Haru-chan was going to be working on their boat for the summer?" He asked a legitimate question. I could see Haruhi was looking slightly nervous. She leaned towards me and whispered.

"They call him the Shadow King for a reason."

Indeed.

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"Senpai you can't-no! You have to-oh Jesus." I watched in horror as the beautiful blond instantaneously lost at least $5,000 in cargo. Haven't not paid attention, he had pulled the lever to release the net back into the ocean. This was standard procedure really...but only _after_ the net had been emptied. This boy, this stupid, flamboyant, ridiculous boy...had done this a couple times before and I could almost feel the knife stabbing into my wallet as I watched the once-full net resurface as empty. I looked to my parents, but they seemed pretty unconcerned, laughing heartily as they patted the boy reassuringly.

"Quite alright Tamaki, we all make mistakes." My mother said reassuringly as she patted his back. Tamaki looked up at them with tearful eyes and I wanted to shake some sense into him. Yeah, we all make mistakes, but not $5,000 mistakes. I gave my father an exasperated look, but he merely shrugged, looking unconcerned.

"What is wrong with-just, whatever." I took off my gloves after throwing the buoy for the net back into the ocean, hurling them disdainfully into an empty crate which I kicked angrily as I passed by it. I stomped into the lush cabin room that I shared with Haruhi and threw myself onto the bed. Stuffing my face into the pillow I let out a muffled and frustrated scream, kicking my legs back and forth on the bed as I did so. What was with these people?

For the first week I had overlooked everything, and I mean _everything_. I had been completely blinded by their immediate looks and pleasantries. I had so easily overlooked Tamaki's utter uselessness at anything practical because his bright blue eyes and handsome smile completely disarmed me, almost making me forget my own name when he took my hands into his own and called me "little princess". I had even overlooked the twins' uselessness because of the charm with which they interacted with each other...not to mention having a pair of identically hot boys really made me blind. And even the Shadow King was ridiculously good looking and he did the least amount of harm out of all of them, mostly because he didn't do _anything_. He would sit on the deck of the boat all day, tacking away at his laptop. Research. Right. Research. That's what they were here for. Research.

The little blond boy whose name was Mitsukuni Haninozuka, I had also overlooked his uselessness because of how damn cute he was. He was a nice one, that boy, but ridiculous. And then the piece of furniture which came with him was he most intriguing of all.

His name was Takashi Morinozuka, and never in my life had I ever been so intimidated and intrigued at the same time. It had been a week and he still hadn't said a single word to me-actually-I barely heard him talk period. But Christ was he something to look at. Of all of the members he was the only one who was useful on the fishing boat, seeming to have common sense teemed with an overabundant amount of muscle...it was a damn _treat_ to watch him work.

But of course, after a week, the fact that they were all so good looking started to wear out, and all I could do was get irritated with them. Tamaki Suoh already lost three netfulls of fish, Mitsukuni Haninozuka mostly raided the cakes in the fridge and frequently got in Haruhi's way as she tried to work..just...UGH!

"AUGH!" I screamed into the pillow again, kicking my legs up and down in frustration. My parents didn't give a shit. They said that with this new boat they would make twice the amount of money even with the Host Club's intrusions. Sure, twice the amount of money was great, I was thrilled, it meant that I could actually have a laptop, it meant that we could eat quality meat more than once every two weeks...but the loads of fish Tamaki let go of was not something to be scoffed at. That was another $5,000 towards having a better apartment. That was money towards...just, it wasn't money I could just laugh at.

I sat up abruptly at hearing the floor creak and turned around to see a very concerned Mitsukuni Haninozuka standing at my door with his stuffed bunny clutched to his chest. My face blushed a bright red at having been caught in a state like this and I gave him an awkward smile, waving at him halfheartedly.

"Um. Hi...uh...Haninozuka-san." I murmured and the boy seemed displeased by my words, frowning slightly.

"Haru-chan just calls me Honey-senpai, since you're in the same grade as her, you can call me that too!" He said cheerfully and I nodded in response, my face still burning with embarrassment.

"Is something wrong Momo-chan? You seem upset. I've never seen someone scream into a pillow before. Usa-chan and I are very worried!"

"I uh..um. No. I uh was just frustrated about something."

"Oh? What were you frustrated about? Maybe I can help-Takashi! Come over! Momo-chan is frustrated."

"No! Don't call him over-" I stopped midsentence as the large, 6-foot-something figure appeared in my doorway. I unwittingly tried to stand up quickly-

_**WHAM!**_

-but instead opted for slamming my head into the bedframe of the top bunk. I immediately saw stars and tried to stay on my feet. From somewhere in the room I heard a shout and a yelp (which I suspect came from me), my vision was blurred and I was pretty sure I was now staring at the ceiling of the cabin. There was a loud pounding sound and I was sure if somebody were stomping his feet really closely to my head, or if the noise was all just in my head-either way, my head sure fucking hurt.

"Momo-chan!"

Where was that voice coming from?

God my head hurt.

"Momo-chan are you alright?"

I tried to say that I was peachy keen, but interestingly enough, my jaw felt too heavy to move. I instead settled for lifting up my hands to make a weird wave motion to assure whomever it was that I was just fine. I think it was Honey-senpai. The ceiling sure was really bright, perhaps my mother would consider painting it a different shade.

"Momo-chan can you hear me?" I blinked a few times, but my vision was still quite blurry and the blinking dots of light didn't really make things better. I nodded-at least, I think I nodded-and continued waving my hands.

"Rrrh...ng..." I finally managed to gurgle out. I felt somebody helping me sit up and I immediately winced as my head felt like it was carrying two tons of rocks inside. After the little stunt I had just pulled, I wouldn't have been surprised if there actually were a couple rocks making a home inside of my pounding skull.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" A very deep voice came from behind me and the very sound of it sent such pleasurable tingles down my spine. In front of me was a hand, or two hands, holding up two, no, four, fingers.

"Nnrg...f...four..." I mumbled, my head feeling oddly heavy and my vision still swirling. I suddenly felt weightless and was pretty sure that I had suddenly gained the ability to fly as I saw my surroundings move while my feet stayed still. I felt warm as if someone were holding me, but I really wasn't in any state to discern details. Actually, now seemed like a good time to take a nap.

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I blinked into consciousness, a mean storm brewing in my head as I found myself staring up at bright, flourescent lights.

"Oh good! You're up!" A strange woman said and I immediately winced at her loud voice. Looking her over I saw that she was a nurse and that I was in a hospital of sorts. It was fancier than any hospital I had ever been in before...the bedsheets felt like they were made of cotton with some 4-digit thread count and the pillow I was laying on was definitely stuffed with down feathers. Maybe I had died and woke up in heaven. Heaven would have pillows stuffed with down feathers right?

"I'll go and call your parents!" It sounded like she was screeching into my ear and I winced again, glaring murderously at the nurse as I sat up. She looked confusedly at me and I narrowed my eyes at her, the headache which pounded away in my head not doing much to brighten my mood.

"Is something wrong?" God, why was she so fucking loud?

"Yeah..could you..just like...shut up..please?" I asked and immediately I knew my words were rude as she glared at me. Without another word she turned from me in a huff, leaving the room and slamming the door behind her. I knew she had slammed the door on purpose and I immediately regretted my poor choice of words as the loud noise was like a fucking punch to my cranium.

Within minutes the door opened and in shuffled in my parents followed by Haruhi and the rest of the Host Club. I inwardly groaned as I recounted the memories as to why and how I got here. My mother rushed to my side and immediately started to fret over me, brushing my hair out of my eyes and cupping my face into her hands.

"Oh Momoku, I'm glad you're feeling better. You had us quite worried when you passed out like that. Takashi walked in with you unconscious in his arms and your father and I didn't know what to think!" My mother rambled off and I gently eased her hands off of my face as I looked up at the tall boy. I could feel my face heating up and I nodded my head.

"Uh, thank you, for helping me." I said to him and his response was a short and sweet:

"Ah."

"So...where am I?" I asked and the Shadow King stepped forward, his glasses flashing in the flourescent light.

"You had a minor concussion. We are in one of my family's hospitals. I-"

"He helped us get you in immediately! His family owns this hospital and he requested that you get immediate attention! Isn't that nice of him?" My mother screeched into my ear and I winced, nodding in response.

"Well..thank you..um.." The cost. The cost of this treatment. I had never been in an Ootori hospital before, but I knew it wasn't cheap. This was probably going to cost me my college tuition, what little I had saved for it. This was probably going to cost me my spare kidney and a half. Oh God, this was going to be so fucking expensive.

The horror must have been apparent on my face because Kyoya stepped forward and interrupted my frantic thoughts.

"You are a guest here. Don't worry about the costs as it's a returned favor for your family hosting us for this fishing trip." He said as if reading my mind. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I had been holding and immediately felt my mother hitting my shoulder lightly.

"Momoku, how could you be so careless? Hitting your head on the bunk bed? Try not to be so clumsy next time, you had us all worried!"

"Usa-chan and I were especially worried! We thought you had seriously hurt yourself!" Honey-senpai squeaked and I gave him a much more sincere smile, touched by his concern.

"I'm sorry to have worried you so. I wasn't out for long right?"

"Only a few hours, besides there was a port we needed to stop at nearby. Don't worry yourself Momoku. We're going to spend the night in town anyway before we set off for tomorrow, so why don't you, Haruhi and the others enjoy a night out? If you're feeling up to it." My father said tenderly and I threw him a grateful smile.

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea." I said and slowly got out of the hospital bed, as if on cue the nurse walked back into the room, an unhappy look in her eyes as she regarded me.

"Miss Murayama you're being released. Here is what the doctor prescribed, take two every four hours and that should help take care of the headaches. If there's anything else you need, feel free to stop by any time. Good evening Mister Ootori." She greeted him on a much kinder note and Kyoya politely responded and followed her out the door. Shoving the little bottle of pills into my pocket I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning to my left I saw Haruhi smiling at me.

"I'm glad you're alright Momoku."

"Thanks Haruhi."

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"Haruhi! Try this on!"

"No! Haruhi try this on!"

"Haruhi! Daddy wants to see you with this!"

"Haru-chan! What about this?"

I watched in muted jealousy as the twins, the 'King' and the little one fought for her attention in the clothing store. We had gone into a small cosplay store and immediately most of them had gone nuts, save for Mori and Kyoya who stood back. Mori watched in stony silence and Kyoya seemed more or less amused, I on the other hand opted to stay in the corner of the store and observe the way they all pined for her affections. It was quite amazing, and yet, I wasn't really surprised. All throughout middle school Haruhi Fujioka had always had boys fawning for her left and right, though whether she ever noticed was a different story entirely. I smiled sadly, my heart heavy with envy as they doted on her, becoming even more envious as I watched her carelessly brush them off as. A boy's affections never had impressed her. That was one of the most special things about Haruhi, while all the other girls ran around, pining for a boyfriend, Haruhi never gave a damn.

"Haru-chan! Usa-chan wants to see you in this!"

"Daddy wants you to try this one first!"

"Oh jeez, senpai you're being ridiculous."

"Mommy! Daughter called Daddy ridiculous!"

I sighed in my corner, leaning my elbow on the cashier's countertop as the cashier herself found herself entranced by the boys, staring at them shamelessly with hearts in her eyes. Slowly my smile faded as the twins held Haruhi between them, shooting a teasing look at Tamaki as they did so. They liked her, so much. It was overwhelming for me just to watch, and yet, the girl seemed immune to it, rolling her eyes and trying to shake them off. What a girl she was.

"You don't want to try on anything?" His deep voice startled me and my elbow almost slipped off the counter but his hand grabbed my arm and quickly steadied me. I felt myself turning a bright red again and I shook my head, all sense of articulation and eloquence fleeing out of my ears.

"Ah..uh..no. I uh..no." I gave a nervous laugh, shrugging it off and trying to seem jovial. I didn't look up to meet his eyes, finding myself too nerve-racked to have a regular conversation with him.

"What..um..what about you? Don't you want to try something on Morinozuka-san?"

"Ah." Was all he said to me and I just translated that 'ah' to a 'no'. It seemed that the twins had won out in the contest to get Haruhi to wear what they wanted to as Tamaki went over towards Kyoya and sulked as if the world had just come crashing down on him. As the twins shoved Haruhi into the dressing rooms Honey-senpai suddenly found himself alone and quickly looked around to spot Takashi next to me. He quickly bounded over, bunny in hand and stood in front of me.

"Momo-chan doesn't want to try anything on?" He asked and I almost didn't pay attention as I slowly realized that we were the same height. Damn. I was pretty fucking short.

"Uh, no..cosplay just isn't my thing." I said, making up an excuse. Honey-senpai seemed to scrutinize me behind those doleful brown eyes and I shifted uncomfortably, wondering if perhaps this boy could somehow read my mind.

"But it's fun ne? You should try something on!" He insisted and I looked up to see Kyoya observing us from across the store. Immediately I felt self conscious and crossed my arms across my chest, shaking my head as I politely declined.

"Haha...no..I uh..no thanks." I ran over the list of reasons why I didn't want to try on these outfits. I could have afforded to lose a few pounds. I also hadn't shaved my legs for a couple of days. Also my hair was a bit of a mess. And not to mention, who would I be dressing up for anyways? I was well aware that all the attention would be spent on-

"Haru-chan! You look so cute!"

She emerged in a Lolita-style maid's outfit and as much as it pained me to admit it, she was cute as all hell. She had the perfect body for it, skinny, petite, with those gorgeous brown eyes to set it off. Honey-senpai ran off to greet her and I watched as Tamaki ran to her as well, wrapping her up in his arms as he rambled endlessly about how cute she was. I sighed as I felt an emptiness settle in the pit of my stomach. I felt guilty, I felt like a horrible person as I recognized my own jealousy for my friend who had always shown me nothing but the utmost kindness. But I was so human and so very flawed. To be honest, I felt hat i was normal to have this jealousy. I was pretty sure it was normal to be jealous of a girl on a full scholarship to a great school who had six boys willing to buy a boat and follow her around the ocean for an entire summer, just for a chance to hang out with her. Wonderful.

I looked up to find that Takashi was staring own at me and I blinked in surprise, looking away quickly as a blush rose to my face. Slowly, I turned back up at him to see that he was still staring at me.

"Um...is..is there something on my face?" I asked nervously.

He didn't respond.

I blinked a couple times before turning away, hugging myself tighter and shuffling my feet for some distraction. Again I looked up and again he was still staring at me. His stare was nerve-racking and I wasn't sure how to respond. How does one deal with a boy like this?

"Takashi! Come look! Haru-chan is so cute!" And as if he were heaven-sent, Honey-senpai had interrupted, calling over Takashi and successfully breaking up the awkward staring contest I had begun with him.

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"What wonderful young boys they all are. And all so wealthy and coming from good families." My mother remarked offhandedly as we shopped for groceries. I didn't have much to say to that, so I simply added more mushrooms into the basket.

"You should meet a boy like that. Then your father and I wouldn't have to worry about you being taken care of."

"I can take care of myself Mother." I retorted, slightly offended as she continued walking down the aisle.

"But you'll need a husband. Imagine if you could meet somebody like one of those boys. So handsome and wealthy, wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Don't be like that. In fact they seem very close with Haruhi. You should keep in contact better."

"Okay."

Now, there were a lot of unsaid words in this conversation between us, but the difference between my mother and me was my ability to discern the unsaid words from this conversation.

_"You should meet a boy like that. Then your father and I wouldn't have to worry about you being taken care of."_ really meant _"Then you could support us sooner._

and

_"I can take care of myself Mother."_ really just meant _"fuck off"_

oh and

_"But you'll need a husband. Imagine if you could meet somebody like one of those boys. So handsome and wealthy, wouldn't that be wonderful?"_ meant _"You won't make it on your own. You need somebody to support you. You should court one of them."_

so hence

_"Yeeah, sure."_ really just meant _"Shut up, for the love of god."_

and

_"Don't be like that. In fact they seem very close with Haruhi. You should keep in contact better."_ truly meant _"Try to get with one of them through Haruhi. This is an opportunity, grab your chance while you have it."_

and finally

_"Okay." _ really meant _"Fuck you."_

I found that I had crushed the box of macaroni in my hand as I had mulled over the conversation with my mother. Looking around to make sure nobody saw I quickly put the crushed box back onto the shelf, feeling sheepish that I couldn't keep such simple things in control, away from my emotions.

It wasn't like I didn't know. It wasn't as if I hadn't thought the same things.

Of course I had thought that being with one of those boys would have been utterly fantastic. Of course I had thought it through that if i were to be with any one of those boys, money would never be a worry for me and that I would be spoiled to the ends of my wildest dreams. Of _course_ I had thought all of that. I wasn't blind, I wasn't that fucking ignorant of the position I was in.

What my mother didn't understand was that these boys went to a school full of gorgeous, rich, girls. Girls who had the money to back up their talk. Girls who were daughters of models and actresses. Actually forget that. What my mother didn't understand was that half of these boys looked only at Haruhi. So between me, Haruhi, and a school full of beautiful and weatlhy girls, I had no chance.

And I had accepted that within hours of meeting them.

"Maybe the boys would like to eat some steak, what do you think Momoku?"

"Wonderful."

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Week 3.

It was week 3.

I was almost halfway there.

Only 6 more weeks.

And I would no longer have to deal with these people.

I was mixing the cake batter unprofessionally, opting to whisk it manually as the electric beater had broken from the sheer amount of usage. I found myself whisking it faster and faster, frustrated at the amount of cake the boy consumed. We had bought enough cakes to feed an entire army at port, and yet the boy had consumed them all within two days. And so, at the rate he was consuming them, we had decided that buying the ingredients in large quantities would be best for saving money. That boy had a black hole for a stomach I swear.

I beat the batter faster, angry that I had to make cakes; angry that there were still clumps in the batter; angry that the weather forecast was going to be terrible for the week; angry that my arm was getting sore from beating this batter so furiously.

I was actually the hang of baking cakes now though. I had begun with single layer cakes and cautiousy upgraded to two. But this time, it was going to be different. I was determined to have three layers.

As I put the pan into the pre-heated oven I started whipping the cream, a new recipe I was trying out with a few tweaks that I had made on my own. I was going for a strawberry-infused chocolate, but unlike most chocolate icing, I was trying to make it as light and fluffy as possible, avoiding the heavy cream feel as I whipped it. I continued tasting it, but my tongue was beginning to lie to me as it started to become more and more numb to the sweetness as I kept tasting it. Hearing the door behind me slide open I turned around and held out a dipped spoon for Haruhi to try-but froze as I wasn't staring at Haruhi.

"Oh..um..hi Shado-Ootori-san." I kicked myself for almost letting 'Shadow King' slip from my lips, but he seemed to have caught onto it anyway, raising an eyebrow in interest as he looked at the spoon in my hand. I slowly retracted the spoon, putting it back into the bowl as I straightened up a bit. Being in the presence of the Shadow King, I've learned, was quite intimidating.

"Can I uh..help you with something Ootori-san?" I asked kindly and Kyoya slowly walked over to me, inspecting the messy counter and the disarray with which my ingredients were all placed.

"Honey-senpai was getting a bit antsy and asked me if he'd be able to have cake after his nap." He said and I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at his words. Honey-senpai was a good two years older than me and he was demanding cakes after afternoon naps? I sighed and leaned down to check on my cake in the oven.

"It should be ready when he wakes up, yeah." I said and stood up again, startled somewhat at the fact that he had taken a few steps towards me. He slowly took the test spoon from the bowl of icing and put it in his mouth, tasting it and pausing as he did so. I suddenly became very nervous, my face flushing slightly as he put the spoon down onto the counter and looked at me.

"Is this your recipe?" What?

"Uh, yeah, sort of. I don't have an exact recipe..just trying something new." I said, feeling flustered as my face started to heat up even more from being put on the spot.

"You should write it down." Was all he said before promptly leaving.

Had that been a compliment?

No.

Yes.

That had totally been a compliment.

I had been complimented by the Shadow King.

With a renewed vigor, I set to make this one hell of a three-layered cake.

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"You made this cake yourself Momo-chan?" He asked with wide eyes and I smiled at him, wondering how appropriate it'd be if I were to shove his face into the cake...but at the same time, the happiness with which he regarded me made all the work worth it.

"Yeap. I tried out a new recipe too, so tell me if you think it's good or not."

"I bet anything that is made by you is great Momo-chan!" Sometimes his cuteness made me want to roll my eyes, but I had to admit, I was flattered by his words anyway. The chocolate cake had been decorated plainly, a few sliced strawberries decorating the top with some crushed hazelnuts. I held my breath as Honey-senpai cut into the cake, taking an extra large slice for himself. And it was with great trepidation that I watched him put the first forkful of my cake into his mouth.

His reaction was immediate.

His eyes lit up and widened, his lips curled into a euphoric smile and he drew his hands to himself, wiggling with excitement.

It was all worth it.

"Momo-chan! This cake is so delicious! I can't believe you made it yourself! Takashi! You must come taste Momo-chan's cake! Everyone! Come taste Momo-chan's cake!" I grew embarrassed as he called over the rest of the host club to come and taste my cake. I watched as the cake diminished with each cut slice and waited for their reactions as they tasted the cake. I looked to my left to see Kyoya with a calculating look on his face as he tasted the cake, putting his fork down gently back onto the plate. I sure didn't see any happiness there, but at he same time, he didn't seem displeased. He seemed to be thinking over something.

"Momoku, this is really delicious." Haruhi said, smiling at me as she put another forkful into her mouth.

"Thanks Haruhi.."

"This.." The first twin said.

"...tastes..." the second twin followed.

"Professional." They finished simultaneously. I blushed furiously from the compliment and mumbled a thank you.

"Haruhiiii...why don't you ever cook for Daddy like this?" Tamaki bursted and I immediately rolled my eyes. Of course.

"Because I don't know how to bake cakes senpai. And besides you have your own hired help for that."

It was always interesting to watch them interact with each other. It was as if I had melted into a corner as I backed away, watching the 7 of them interact with the oher. The twins were feeding Haruhi from their forks and in reaction Tamaki was becoming more and more infuriated, attempting to chase them away with empty threats. Honey-senpai was happily chomping away on the rest of the cake, nothing getting in the way of him demolishing the rest on his own. Takashi was taking a painfully long time to finish one slice of cake. He chewed each bite slowly as if eating it were a chore. Checking my watch I noted that it was time to get the second batch of cake out of the oven. Hurriedly I rushed to the kitchen, pulling out the pan with an oven mitt and carefully placing it onto the counter.

I smiled to myself as I flipped it upside down, gently coaxing it out of the pan with some light wiggling and shaking. The smell of a freshly baked cake seemed to bring a smile to my face.

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	3. Tamaki is an Idiot

**Aurora rose1001 ** - Thank you so much! I shall do my best to update quickly!

**Dragon of Twilight **- I feel sort of guilty, I know you had so faithfully followed my other stories (I swear I will one day finish the Hiei one xD) and at the same time I'm so flattered. Thank you for still reading my stories, and thank you for your much too kind review. I'm glad you think it's realistic. I'm doing my best to keep it so. And at times the reality of a teenager seems childish and downright irritating, but teenagers are irritating right? We've all been there, done that, and may still be doing that. I will definitely take your input for which relationship would work out better. I actually haven't decided too much yet on how their relationships will progress so I can sincerely say I don't know who Momoku will end up with. You're right that Mori would be better suited for her, but then again, I feel like Mori would be better suited for most anybody. But the interesting thing of having this be a love triangle between her, Kyoya and Mori is the vast difference between all of their personalities. On one hand you have Kyoya who is the dictionary definition of cunning, subtle and manipulative, and on the other you have Mori who is a man of few words, but is also very straightforward in his actions - no sneaking around or manipulating with this fellow. It's the dynamic of these differences that I look forward to writing about. :D Thank you so much again for following and reviewing, you mean a lot to me!

**Kiski **- First my apologies for not having responded to your first review of the story. I had completely forgotten that my first chapter had gotten reviews because it had been such a gap between my last update and my first. I didn't intentionally ignore your question, I sincerely forgot. But yes, I did delete all the chapters and I started all over again. I had been greatly displeased with my first try at writing about an average girl interacting with the Ouran Host Club. The main character I had created then had easily become a spineless pity-party, becoming much less than average and much more irritating than identifiable.

Your second review really warms my heart. I feel that my story is unworthy of your review, but I will do my damndest to make sure that my story improves and lives up to the generous reviews you give me. You are right, so many mothers are like hers. In fact, my mother occasionally says things like Momoku's own mother once in a while-but with age I've just learned to tune it out xD. But yes, it is something traumatizing to a teenage girl's self-worth. As a teenager everyone seems to be attacking everyone and without being surrounded by good friends at all times, your main source of self-worth becomes what your parents make of you. Though they may not mean to, they diminish it by saying careless things like this, having forgotten what it was like to be in your shoes once upon a time. And so in feeling this, rather than have to actually deal upfront with the issue that she is a nobody, or so she believes, she prefers to blend into the background as opposed to putting herself out there only to be harshly rejected by these people. I give you a refreshment factor +20! Thank you so much for your kind review. :)

**kitty13492 **- Thank you! I will do my best to continue!

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"Don't do it."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Don't do it."

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't—" I let out a long sigh as Tamaki Suoh messed up, once again. This time I was more amused I watched him dangle from the side of the boat, his feet tangled up in rope attached to a buoy out at sea. I had warned him that it was dangerous to launch the buoy while he stood where he was, but of course, he ignored me. And now he was screaming bloody murder as he dangled on the side of the boat, his arms waving frantically. I smiled as I leaned against the railing calmly, watching the spectacle below. He really was freaking out, screaming up a storm and causing everyone on the boat to run to the starboard side to see what all the ruckus about. Haruhi, surprisingly, was the first to reach me.

"I thought I heard Tamaki-senpai screaming—"

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

"I definitely heard him screaming." She said, seeming somewhat amused and I grinned widely at her.

"Oh, that's definitely him—"

"SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPPPPP I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"

"He's dangling on the side of the boat." I finished calmly. Harurhi immediately looked over to the side and I watched as she facepalmed, more embarrassed than worried for her senpai. She imitated my sigh as she looked at him.

"He's such an idiot. I swear…"

"Eh? Tono?" The one I guessed to be Hikaru stood on my right, leaning over the boat, a smile playing on his lips as he looked down.

"Ah…Tono, seems like you're in an interesting position." The other I guessed as Kaoru said from my left, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE AND STARE! HEEEELLPPP!"

I had half a mind to let him dangle there for the rest of the day, but as I saw my parents climbing down from the main cabin I sighed and wrapped the rope around my wrists, I couldn't imagine either of the pretty boy twins helping me out, so I instead looked to Haruhi.

"Haruhi, help me with this."

"Okay..you sure we can't just let him hang there like this for a little longer?"

"I wish. Okay grab here, ready, on three we pull. One, two…three—" And I found that a large shadow had been cast over me and a pair of hands, easily twice the size of my own, had grabbed the rope instead of Haruhi and was pulling with me—no, _for_ me. I was doing absolutely nothing as Morinozuka-san single-handedly pulled the rope up with the dangling Tamaki. I watched as the twins helped Tamaki back onto the boat just as my parents reached us.

"Oh dear, what was all the fuss about? Is everything alright?" My mother asked concernedly, rushing over to Tamaki and checking to see if he had any scrapes and bruises. Like the dramatic boy he was, he made one hell of an ordeal out of it, feigning dizziness as he lay flat on the boat deck.

"Oh Missus Murayama-san…I was so sure my time had come. It was as if my life had flashed before me…" He drawled dramatically and I immediately facepalmed, wondering if there was absolutely nothing in the world that would stop this boy's antics. My father seemed a little more immune to dramatics than me and looked to me, raising an eyebrow in question for an explanation.

"He wouldn't listen to me. He was standing in the middle of all the rope and still wanted to launch the buoy. I told him not to do it, but like I said, he wouldn't listen." I said in an amused tone, but as my mother turned around from Tamaki to look at me, I saw immediately that she was not amused at all. She straightened up and towered over me like a giant troll monster, hands at her hips (her going-to-war position) and eyes narrowed dangerously at me.

"Don't sound so happy about it. This boy could have been dangerously hurt! Can you imagine the consequences if anything were to happen to the sole heir of the Suoh family? Do you?" With each sentence her pitch and tone had gone up gradually until it eventually became a scream. The humor of the entire situation dissipated and I could fucking _feel_ the sound of silence amongst everyone as they watched my mother unleash her fangs upon me.

"I tried to tell him—"

"No excuses! These boys have never been on a fishing boat before! It's your responsibility to watch over them and make sure that they don't get hurt! You should have stopped him! How could you be so irresponsible?" She yelled at me and I found myself balling up my hands into my pockets, staring at her somewhat emptily as I assessed the incredulousness of the situation. To be honest, in any regular situation I would have easily screamed back at my mother, would have attempted to defend myself, but for some reason, in front of all these people, it suddenly didn't seem appropriate. So instead, I stayed silent. The silence only seemed to enrage my mother further.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Oh what a line. It was a famous one by parents, by adults in authority whenever they scolded children. 'Do you have anything to say for yourself' was such a stupid question to ask a child. Because I mean, _was_ there anything I could say for myself? Anything I could _possibly_ say to make you less angry with me? Is there possibly anything I could say that would get you to stop looking at me as if I had just stabbed your baby in the middle of the street? No, there was nothing I had anything to say for myself, mostly because there was nothing that I _could_ say for myself. Children, teenagers, even adults, everywhere knew that this question was more like a loaded gun pointed straight at your face. There was only one appropriate response to this rhetorical question.

"No mother. I'm sorry. You're right, I should have been more responsible for him." I curtly bowed to Tamaki, gritting my teeth as I fought back the tears of embarrassment which burned in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Tamaki-senpai. I should have been more careful. It's my fault that this happened to you, I hope you can forgive me." I said these words as if they had been pre-recorded, my head starting to get an all too familiar headache as I straightened up.

"Oh no, don't it's my fault—"

"—no it is completely mine." I said firmly, not wanting to anger my mother any more than she already was. As I looked up at my mother, I knew I was unable to hide the utter hatred I held for her at that moment and as she met my gaze, I saw something flicker through her eyes, but I paid no attention to it.

"I shall tend to Honey-senpai's cakes now. They should be about ready to be taken out of the oven now." I said coldly and bowed, excusing myself as I quickly walked away from the debacle and to the enclosed walls of the kitchen. As I closed the kitchen door behind me I was no longer to hold back my tears.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't my fault.

It wasn't my fault that Tamaki Suoh was an idiot.

It wasn't my fault that Tamaki Suoh wouldn't listen to me.

And it sure as hell wasn't my fault that there was a boatload of boys who didn't know what the _fuck _they were doing on a fishing boat. I had never invited them and I sure as hell never wanted them to stay.

I took out the cake pans from the oven and set them on the counter to cool.

It wasn't my fault at all. My mother had no right to yell at me like that. I was pretty damn sure I had done absolutely nothing wrong.

So, why was I blamed?

I sniffed, wiping a delicious mixture of snot and tears onto my sleeve as I sat on the ground, my back leaning on the refrigerator. The cool metal did little to comfort me, but it was a start.

_It's just not fair._

It wasn't fair at all.

I felt like a petulant child now, reiterating the same motto over and over again in my head, but with every repetition, the more forcibly I believed it. It really wasn't fair. Why did I suddenly become the servant child to be at the Host Club's beck and call? Why was I the one who did almost all of the work? Why was I the one who had to bake all of that spoilt little brat's cakes? Why was I the one who cleaned the decks up at night because the Host Club decided they wanted to hang out with Haruhi rather than let her help me?

Why couldn't I just be Haruhi Fujioka?

What would Haruhi Fujioka have done in such a situation as this? Well for one she sure as hell wouldn't be crying pathetically on the kitchen floor, wiping her snot and tears all over her shirt. Second, she wouldn't be complaining about any of this. She was a hard worker and it was a quality that came naturally to her. She never complained of hard work, nor did she ever feel that she deserved more than what she got. Haruhi Fujioka wasn't selfish like this, she wouldn't be wondering why the world seemed to be against her, no, Haruhi Fujioka would be more concerned about her friend. She would be making sure that Tamaki Suoh was alright and she would work hard to make amends for what she thought was right.

Fuck that girl. It was impossible to be that girl. She was a fucking saint.

I stood up and ripped off a sheet from the paper towel roll, ever so sexily blowing my nose into it and wiping my face clean. I suddenly felt defeated as I rolled up my sleeves and washed myself in the sink. I had gone from one extreme emotion to the next within the span of five minutes—thinking about this I knew I was about to be somewhat amused with myself in a matter of seconds.

Wiping myself dry I opened the fridge and pulled out the portion of frosting I had prepared previously and began to whip it to fluff it up. I was so annoyingly pathetic. There was a reason why they all looked at Haruhi Fujioka. It was because she was simply Haruhi Fujioka. There wasn't another girl like her in the entire country probably. She was one in a million and they knew it, shit, even _I_ knew it.

_Knock knock._

The sound of somebody knocking on the door caught me off guard and I quickly wiped at my face, making sure there were no stray tears or renegade trails of snot lurking on my face.

"Uh, come in?" I was somewhat uncertain of the state of my own emotions as I said that, trying to wonder if I was still upset or angry, indignant or frustrated…or just a giant clusterfuck combination of all four. I did my best to hide it and plastered a smile on my face as an unexpected Honey-senpai walked in, followed closely by Morinozuka-san. He seemed wary of me, sad, somewhat, as he looked at me, clutching his bunny to his chest like a safety guard.

"Well…I was wondering, if I could watch you make the cake? Usa-chan and I were very curious…and…and Takashi wanted to watch too! Right Takashi?"

"Ah." His request was definitely an odd one, and though in all honesty I didn't feel comfortable at all with the request, I knew I would feel more uncomfortable denying them such a simple thing.

"Uh..sure…of course. It's not very interesting…" I mumbled and Honey-senpai seemed to brighten up anyway.

"Yay! We promise not to get in your way at all!"

_Right._

I went over to the cake pans which had cooled down enough by now and with an rag in hand, flipped it upside down and gently eased the cake out. Using toothpicks as guides, I marked the spots I'd be cutting the cake to create its layers. I nervously looked behind me to see an avid Honey-senpai staring at me with wide eyes and a stoic Morinozuka staring at me with…well, um, eyes. Doing my best to ignore them I took the large knife and carefully sawed my way through the cake, cutting through the cake as evenly as possible as I did so. It would probably be unfortunate to have a cake with fluctuating layer densities. This time I was making a cake with four layers, a little more ambitious than last time, but the layers were thinner to make it all the more manageable. I slowly spread the frosting between each layer.

The entire process was a bore, is a bore, to anybody watching (or reading), but each movement helped me to forget their presence and became more of a cathartic experience for me. I _genuinely_ enjoyed making this cake and I found myself breathing easier as I assembled it. The slow movement of wrapping the entire cake in an even layer of frosting was hypnotizing, menial, and just the right thing to take my mind off of the bullshit that seemed to comprise my days. I had chosen to make a frosting with a more natural taste, sweetened by honey and fused with chocolate this time. I had read somewhere that sweetening things with honey usually produced some pretty glorious results.

There. The cake was completely frosted.

Now…

"Are you going to decorate it?"

His voice startled me and I suddenly remembered that my antics were being witnessed by two boys. I turned around to face him, blinking a few times before nodding dumbly.

"Can I help?" He asked and I watched as Morinozuka-san reached out to put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Of course, it's your cake anyway." I said and Honey-senpai seemed to just _sparkle_ with excitement as he hopped down from his stool to inspect the cake.

"Weeelll….since this is chocolate frosting, it's chocolate frosting right?"

"Yes Honey-senpai."

"Well since this is chocolate frosting, what goes well with chocolate frosting? Maybe something that isn't too sweet…hmm.."

"How about some nuts?" I held up a small bag of almonds which I had intended on using and Honey seemed thoughtful, postulating the ever-so-difficult decision as he rubbed his chin.

"But they're so large…"

"We would crush them. So that they become small…like sprinkles." I added, trying to figure out a way to connect with the boy. It seemed to do the trick as he smiled widely at me.

"Oh! That sounds good! Let's crush them! How do we crush them Momo-chan?"

"Here, you put some in a like this, then wrap it in a cloth once. Now we can either use the rolling pin to crush them or this little meat tenderizer that you use like a hammer. Which would you prefer?"

"Hammer! Hammer!" He jumped and down excitedly, snatching the tenderizer from me and excitedly beginning to crush the almonds. I probably should have told him that crushing them for five seconds would have been plenty, because as he continued hammering away I knew that he was going to get carried away. Correction, he already got carried away.

"Um…Honey-senpai…" I started, but over his furious hammering, he didn't hear me.

"Mitsukuni." The strong, deep voice echoed through the kitchen as he put an arm on Honey-senpai's shoulder. Honey looked up at him with a smile on his face.

"I'm crushing the almonds Takashi!"

"That is enough." He said simply and Honey-senpai suddenly began to frown. Quickly he lifted up the cloth to look at the almonds in the bag. The almonds had become…more like a powder and I could see childish tears forming in Honey-senpai's eyes.

"Oh no…" He began.

_Oh no._ I began in my head. I could barely stand my own tears, forget somebody else.

"It's perfect. We can…we can use it like a powder and…and use a stencil to make a pretty design on the cake." Immediately, his tears vanished and he brightened up like the fucking sun.

"We can? What kind of stencils do you have Momo-chan?"

"I uh, let me see.." Did I have any stencils? Why would I have any stencils? Who the fuck carries stencils on a fishing boat? But as I looked around I spotted a paper doily and picked it up, handing it to Honey.

"Hold this over the cake and I'll shake the almond powder over it, then we'll have this design on it."

"Oh it's going to be so pretty!"

As we did that, I felt somewhat relieved at having averted his childish crisis. And surprisingly, the cake did look very pretty. The intricate design of the paper doily fit well on the cake in crushed almond form. Taking out a bar of chocolate I carefully shaved some of it onto the cake for added decoration and it seemed to please the boy.

"Oh this is the best cake _ever_ Momo-chan!"

"I think you'd have to taste it first." I said off-handedly as I went to leave.

"You're not going to stay and eat with us Momo-chan?" He asked and I shook my head.

"No, I don't think so. I'm a little tired. I'm going to lie down for a bit."

"Will you be alr—" I shut the door behind me, walking out before he even finished his sentence. I had humored them enough right?

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Her cakes, they were different from any cake I had tasted before, and Mitsukuni seemed to agree with me—though whether that was to flatter her or if he really meant it I wasn't too sure.

But to me, her cakes were very unique.

I chewed each bite thoughtfully, trying to taste everything in it as opposed to wolfing it down. This time, I thought I tasted honey somewhere in the cake. It was sweet, it was smooth, and it was rich. The overall taste was delicious, but there was something different about this one. Something about this one gave me a different feeling than the others. There was just something about this cake I could place my finger on.

"Takashi, her cakes really are delicious aren't they?" Mitsukuni asked softly beside me, his eyes full of warmth as he ate his piece of cake.

"Ah."

"I felt really bad for her when her mother yelled at her for what happened to Tamaki-kun." I looked down at him at these words. Mitsukuni had something bothering him, that much was apparent as he spoke of her like this. He smiled at the cake, a look of tenderness crossing his face.

"Did you see her Takashi? She was very sad today. I think she was crying right before we came in."

I didn't respond to this, I didn't need to. I had indeed seen her puffy red eyes, the sheen of her irises glistening extra bright from the tears that had just washed them. I had also seen the nervousness with which she moved and spoke when she regarded us. We had made her uncomfortable but as a gracious host, she put aside her discomfort and let us in.

But that was it.

Sad.

This cake tasted sad.

Not that it tasted unsatisfactorily.

But I could place it now. When I ate this cake, I could almost taste what she was feeling as she made this.

It was sweet, soft, gentle and simultaneously bold in its taste, but for some reason it left me feeling somewhat empty…and…sad.

That was what it tasted like.

"Takashi, I want to cheer her up, but we're not really her friends. I don't want to cause more trouble than we already have. What should we do?" Mitsukuni asked sincerely, worry etched out onto his face. I reassuringly put my hand on his shoulder, getting him to look up at me.

"She will be alright. She has Haruhi."

"You're right Takashi. She does."

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"Momoku?" I heard the timid voice of my mother coming through the door and I had half a mind to ignore it and feign sleep, but who knows, maybe she'd yell at me for taking a nap as well.

"Yeah?"

The door creaked open slowly and I saw my mother come in with a small tray holding a glass of water and two pills for my head. I recognized the look in her eyes, and for some reason, it angered me further. She looked _sad_.

She sat at the desk across from me, placing the tray down and smiling at me, but her smile was loaded. Her smile asked me questions that she was afraid to voice aloud. _Are you still angry? Do you hate me? Do you know that I love you?_

Yes mother. I know that you love me. I am still angry. And if you really had to ask me, no, I don't actually hate you.

The problem with her unsaid questions was again, her inability to know my unsaid answers. I wonder if this sort of subtlety was something adults lost as they became haggard and more oblivious with age. I knew exactly, or sort of exactly, what she was going to say. I knew she wasn't going to exactly apologize, but that she'd apologize in a roundabout way. I knew that she wanted me to know that she loved me.

"Darling...I shouldn't have yelled at you in front of your friends like that."

_It's cool, they're not my friends anyway._ I childishly thought immediately.

"It's okay mother."

"I just want you to understand why I did it. It's not because I hate you Momoku, I love you, you're my only child and you mean the world to me. It's just, we have very, very important guests on this boat for the summer and you know how dangerous it can be to be on a fishing boat. Even on a nice boat like this, I'm always stressed about one of them getting hurt. We would have some very powerful families to answer to." She was explaining what I already knew. And as usual, my mother's patronizing tone, no matter how loving and tender it was, just irked me. It's not like I didn't know there would be consequences if one of them were to get seriously injured. From what Haruhi had told me about them, Kyoya's secret police force would probably slit my throat in my sleep if anything were to happen to them.

"I know, but it's just, why do they have to be here with us? Can't we just drop off the fish we have, go back, get our original boat and leave them? Then we wouldn't have to worry about them screwing up constantly." I reasoned, and in my theatre of logic, I had just said the most practical solution to the entire situation. My mother on the other hand, shook her head, not seeing the _beautiful _logic in the suggestion I had just made.

"That would be terribly rude to do to your friends. Besides they are good friends of Haruhi and they're your friends now too. It's good to build relationships like these when you're all young."

Aaaaand, I already lost her.

Do you follow me?

Do you know what I mean when I say I already lost her?

Here, let me help you.

"_That would be terribly rude to do to your friends. Besides they are good friends of Haruhi and they're your friends now too. It's good to build relationships like these when you're all young."_ equals _"You should be nice to rich people. Besides, you're making good connections. You should build relationships with rich families whenever you can. And moneymoneymoneymoney-" _

"They're not my friends." Was what I said. I could have just _punched_ myself in the face as the words left my mouth. How much more childish could I get with a response like that? My mother frowned at me and shook her head.

"Well then you should work on that. You should make friends, you'll be spending another 6 weeks with them after all."

_But I don't want to be friends with them._ I thought stubbornly, smartly keeping this sentence locked up in my head as I regarded my mother. She smiled at me and lovingly caressed my face, running her hand down my hair a couple of times as she did so.

"I brought your medicine, don't forget to take it. Remember Momoku, I love you. You are my daughter, I only want what's best for you." She said and I knew she meant it. I had never doubted her love, she was my mother. The only thing I had ever doubted were her decisions in how to go about loving me.

"I know. I love you too." I said it somewhat begrudgingly. The best for me? I really wish she'd leave it up to me to decide what was best for me. With one last look she got up and left the room, closing the cabin door gently behind her. I sighed.

Now I felt a horrid guilt in the pit of stomach for having thought all those terrible thoughts about her before. How could I possibly think that I really hated my mother? How could I think that my mother was an idiot riding a flaming horse from hell? I felt ashamed with myself for thinking such infantile things. I quickly swallowed the two pills and down them with water, wondering how in a conversation in which my mother apologized to me, I was the one walking away feeling worse.

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"Hey."

"Hi."

I yanked the loose ropes to neatly pile them in circles into a crate which Haruhi had pulled out for me. As I piled them in I did my best to seem preoccupied to nip any attempt at conversation in the butt. But sometimes, subtle hints like that never really quite penetrated her skull.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm sorry about today. Tamaki-senpai is a bit of an idiot. It's not fair that you got in trouble for his stupidity."

"Yeah." I was brushing off her comments though I wholeheartedly agreed with her. No one person should be responsible for the stupidity of another. At least, if I had wanted to be responsible for something like that, I would have had a child already. Haruhi smiled at me, tucking the crate away and pulling out another one for me to pile the rest of the stuff into.

"But don't hate him too much. He always means well despite him being obnoxiously stupid and all."

"I'll do my best." I said insincerely, nearly hurling the rest of the items into the crate. Haruhi picked it up and stacked it away before turning back to me.

"He wants to make it up to you, but I told him it wasn't a good idea-"

"Good." I said quickly, pausing momentarily to look at her. "Just, keep him away from me. Tell him that I want to throw my fist into his pretty boy face." I almost snarled that last bit and I watched Haruhi blinked before letting out a laugh.

"Hahaha. It's definitely something he needs every once in a while that's for sure."

I turned around to start sweeping the deck off when she put a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you sure you're alright Momoku?"

I whirled around to face her suddenly, her words prompting me to be honest with her, but as she looked at me so kindly, I found that my words faltered when they reached my lips.

_No. No. I'm not. I'm angry. I hate you. I hate your stupid Host Club. I hate that all of you waltzed into my life, trampled on it and then ask me if I were alright. Of course I'm not alright._

_I hate you._

_I hate you. _

_Get away from me._

_I wish you would just, get away from me._

I smiled at her.

"Of course. Don't worry about me Haruhi. I was just a little pissed off today. I'm really alright now."

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**I dedicate this story to my dear friend and fellow fanfiction writer: ****Giselle d'Angouleme.**

**Without you, I would not have been able to continue this story. Without you, I would have no inspiration to continue.**

**Thank you for being there at 4:00AM when the rest of the world was asleep.**

**This is for you 3**


	4. Temporary Landing

I'm sorry! This is a very short update and I won't be responding to comments in this one. But the next one, I swear will come soon and will have responses to all the comments I have not gotten to!

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"Aaah...how nice it is to be back on land eh Haruhi?"

"Or perhaps you preferred it when we were rocking your boat?" Now I went simply on instinct as to which one was which. Hikaru was the one who had made the boat comment and Kaoru was the one who spoke to her first. I didn't actually have any particular reasoning as to how I knew. Hikaru had a slightly sharper tone to his voice, whereas Kaoru seemed to be a bit, and _only_ a bit, gentler. This was a very small and subtle thing I had begun to pick up during our trip thus far. And to be honest, I hadn't interacted with them enough to even be sure that I was correct.

"How dare you talk to my daughter in such a perverted way? It's okay Haruhi, daddy will protect from the influence of these terrible twins!"

"Oh jeez senpai, give me a break."

Looking to my watch I saw that it was about 4:00PM. We had stopped at another port and for the convenience of our...guests, we were going to stay on the mainland overnight. The Host Club and Haruhi were staying at some hotel nearby and I was staying on the boat with my parents to conserve money. The twin closest to me whom I identified as Hikaru (I was pretty sure he was Hikaru) I tapped on the shoulder.

"Hikaru-san, I have to go do some grocery shopping. Tell Haruhi and the others I'll see them in the morning." I said, shouldering my backpack as I got ready. The twin looked at me with a steady curiosity before addressing me.

"I'm not Hikaru." He said.

I blinked.

I was pretty sure he was lying.

Again, no evidence to back that up.

"Oh. Um. Sorry."

Prick.

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"Let's see, what do 6 rich bastards like to eat..." I mumbled to myself as I marched through the aisles, empty basket in hand. Slowly, I ran my fingers along the shelf, knocking bags of flour into my basket.

" rich bastard...2 rich bastards...3 rich bastards..." I counted as each bag fell into the basket. It was getting heavy and quickly.

" rich bastards...5 rich bastards...6 rich-"

"-Kyoya would do just as well. No need for such formal titles." I heard the dry voice of the Shadow King come from behind me and I froze as if I had been caught doing something terrible. My face heated up at having been caught and I turned around to look at him, giving him a sheepish smile.

"Ootori-san...I didn't see you there. I uh, thought you'd be with the others." I said lamely, but Kyoya seemed amused, slowly taking off his glasses and wiping them with a silk cloth before returning them to his porcelain face. I knew he did this deliberately, forcing me to wait for his words, letting my anxiety build up as I waited for him to speak.

"I see. Well, I had some business to take care of near here. I decided to pick up something for lunch from here when I heard...a lovely little rhyme from the aisle over." He finished and I blushed even harder, making a mental note to myself to be wary of the Shadow King, at all times and at all places.

"Sorry about that, I uh..um..yeah, sorry." I really didn't have any excuse and even if I could make one up, I knew he'd see right through it anyway. Inevitably, any excuse was futile. Kyoya merely looked into my basket at the six bags of flour piled into it, rising an eyebrow.

"I see you are shopping mostly for Honey-senpai."

"Oh, well, for now. I was going to get a shopping cart actually..." I trailed off, kind of expecting some sort of response from the Shadow King, but he merely picked up a box from the shelf and seemed to be reading the nutritional facts on the back, effectively dismissing me. And for some reason, I felt like lingering around him, staring at him as if waiting for some kind of verbal command. I had momentarily forgotten what I was really doing as I looked at his face.

He had these black pits for eyes...these dark, black, eyes that seemed to be made of marble. And his hair, though it was of the regular Asian sort, there was something extra special about it. It seemed softer, it looked like black silk and it moved like it with the slightest nod of his head or movement in the air. He was tall, lean, and his skin was perfect. His skin was what really got to me. It was pale, smooth and irritatingly beautiful. No amount of beauty products could get my skin to look like his...and I was a _girl_.

"Is there something I could help you with Miss Murayama?" His voice felt like a bullet had been shot straight into my chest. I involuntarily took a step backwards in surprise and found myself trying to stand up straighter as I found myself feeling awkward and embarrassed at having been caught staring.

You know what really sucks?

How I have no control over the blood that rushes to my face.

It really sucks.

"I uh...I was wondering if...uh, um, you wanted to eat anything in particular for when..um...we get back out to sea?"

Yeah, that totally sounded reasonable.

Throughout this entire exchange Kyouya had not once looked up at me from the ever-so-fascinating nutritional facts. He continued reading them, or at least pretended to, for a few seconds before looking up at me.

"Pancakes would be nice." And without any warning he dropped the box in his hand full of pancake mix right into my basket. I lurched slightly at the extra weight added to my basket so harshly and blinked in surprise. Kyouya took no notice of me and instead walked past me, going to inspect other items down the aisle. I stared at him now with a mixture of shock and indignation.

_What a dick. What an absolute __**dick**__._

And as if he heard his name being called from my head, he glanced up at me with a slight nod before turning back to whatever what was on the shelves.

_An absolutely handsome dick._

Ugh. I could kick myself for my own thoughts. Was I that much of a sucker for good looking boys?

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Tacos.

Tacos.

The most ingenious invention of mankind.

Now there were two kinds of tacos.

The soft shell kind, which was really just a pathetically wimpy burrito.

And the hard shell kind...which was the epoch of delicious. It was full of cheese and grade F meat scraped off of the floors of huddled cows. Wait, I'm not even sure that the meat was really meat. It was probably about 40% beef and 60% magic. I'm not sure how Taco Bell really ran things...but they ran things deliciously.

As I bit into my 89 cent taco I forgot about the world momentarily, allowing the hard shell of the taco to crumble ever so inconveniently and drop down onto the open wrapper. Oh kami this taco was heavenly, a gift from heaven, from the messiah. Nothing would ever separate me from my taco. Nothing could ever possibly ruin this moment.

Haha, the mere thought of "nothing could ever possibly ruin this moment"was asking for trouble.

And it was not denied me.

"Momo-chaaaan! There you are! Takashi and I have been looking for you!"

I wasn't surprised.

Not in the least bit.

During the epoch of my joyous moment, it was almost _guaranteed _to be interrupted. In fact, I would have been surprised were somebody to _not_ interrupt my joyous moment.

Slowly, I lowered the taco as if it were a sacred artifact, meant to be cherished privately, before turning to smile at them.

"Hi Honey-senpai. Morinozuka-san-"

"Haru-chan calls him Mori-senpai! Morinozuka-san sounds so formal and scary. Don't you think so Takashi?"

"Ah."

"Oh. Huh? Yeah uh, sorry. Mori-senpai...right. So, um, can I help you guys with something?" I asked, but I already knew the answer. Honey-senpai looked up at me with his big brown eyes and for a second I melted at the sheer cuteness of his gaze. His lips separated into a big, toothy smile.

"We're having a party at the hotel tonight! Haru-chan will be there too! Won't you come and have fun with us?" He asked excitedly and I blinked at his offer, both tempted and repulsed by it. It's not like I was _that_ slow of a fool. I had picked up on the patterns and I felt pretty confident about my ability to predict what would go down at the party. In my vision of the upcoming party, there was no point of me being there.

"I have some work to do on the boat later."

"Oooh! That's too bad! Maybe Takashi and I can-"

"No-uh, it's, it's not much work. Maybe I'll finish it quickly and stop by the party?" Of course I knew I was teetering on a lie. Ah, no, it was totally a lie. I definitely didn't have any work to do on the boat. My parents had even given me some spending money to go out and have fun today. I watched as Honey-senpai's face lit up a little more, his smile widening before he began to regard his surroundings.

"That's great! What is that you're eating?" He asked curiously and for a moment it felt like Mike Tyson had cut me across the face with a mean right hook. My jaw dropped slightly as I regarded him. Taco? Did he not-no, it was impossible. He must-no.

"It's..a taco..Honey-senpai.." I said slowly and Honey furrowed his brows in confusion and seemingly deep thought. He leaned over towards me to get a closer look at my taco and scrunched his face in slight distaste.

"I've never seen a taco like this. What's that stuff in your taco?" He asked and I glanced to Mori-senpai to see if there was prank being pulled on me, but stoic as ever, his face gave me absolutely no answers. I looked back to Honey, but he seemed sincerely confused.

"It's..it's meat. It's beef. Er, some of it." I added on as an afterthought as I took into consideration the slight ambiguity with Taco Bell meat. Honey blinked in surprise and took the taco out of my hands without any regards to me and bit into it, chewing thoughtfully as he did so. I had to repress the urge to kick his shins as he ate _my_ taco.

"Oooh! So this is what commoner's taco tastes like! Try it Takashi! It's really good!"

"Yes, the commoner's taco does taste good." I found myself commenting dryly before I could stop myself. The slight bitterness went unnoticed by the excited Honey-senpai and he nodded, continuing to munch on _my_ taco. But, when I glanced up at Mori-senpai-though his face relayed nothing to me-he was looking at me, and I had an inkling that he had caught my bitter tone all too clearly. I coughed lightly and cleared my throat to relieve the awkwardness that I felt (all in my own head) and took a sip of soda to distract myself.

"Uh oh Momo-chan! I ate your taco! I'll go buy some more. I'll be right back and get some more." And before I could protest Honey-senpai already hopped away to order an ungodly amount of tacos. It was kind of amazing just how detached from reality these kids were sometimes...most times. I leaned my chin on my hand and made the mistake of glancing up at Mori again. This resulted in an awkward lock of eyes, followed by an even more awkward silence. I blinked a couple times, my face reddening as I attempted a polite smile. But he didn't smile back. No. He just stared at me.

"You're not coming to the party." He said flatly and the deep rumbling of his voice actually sent shivers down my spine. I was speechless for a moment, the deep quality of his voice washing over me in a very satisfying way. I found myself stumbling, reaching blindly in the empty recesses of my skull for words to respond with, some sort of lie to make up in response.

But instead, I found myself unable to really think too well and told the truth.

"No. I won't be going to your party." My voice was surprisingly steady for having been caught at lying. Mori's facial expression never changed and I guess I didn't expect it to. But I did anticipate what he asked next.

"Why?" But he asked it more like a statement.

Now.

Why didn't I want to go to the party?

Just because.

Because I didn't fucking want to.

"Because I don't want to." That was a good enough reason right? It was a perfect reason.

"We make you uncomfortable." He stated. Yes that was true.

"No. It's not that." _Yeah. Since day one._ "I just don't really like parties. I'm not the partying type."

"Aah." Was his response and I knew with that, that the conversation was over.

"I have the tacos!"

Sigh.

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"Haruhi! Daddy wants to feed you all the delicious things in the world! Kyoya! Room service! No more eating fish for our dear daughter!"

"Right. And what exactly would you like?" Kyoya asked, pushing his glasses up with the back end of his pen as he reached for the hotel phone. Tamaki put his finger to his face, posing in deep thought.

"Steak! I bet Haruhi would like a good steak! Is everyone good with steak?"

"Hai Tono!" The twins called.

"And cake?" Asked Mitsukuni and it was around here that I began to zone out from their antics. It was an almost existential moment as I watched the rest of the Host Club run through with their shenanigans from a third person point of view. I watched as Haruhi dealt with them all in her passive and indifferent manner, though she seemed to be slightly more affected by Tamaki. I watched as the twins fought over her attention to play video games with them in their unrealized jealousy. Even when the food came up to the room I ended up just staring at my steak, unsure of whether or not I was actually hungry.

She didn't like us.

Or at the very least, she was uncomfortable with us. That much I knew for sure. In one dramatic swoop, as is a permanent side effect of associating with Tamaki Suoh, her expected summer had its neck wrung and subsequently drowned. I could see her hesitance in dealing with us every time any one of us showed up. With Mitsukuni she had a reserved tolerance, merely tolerating him after having become immune to his initial charms. Though Mitsukuni didn't pick up on this consciously, he picked up on it subconsciously, and in response he took his antics up a notch, trying even harder to win her over with his charms. In turn, this just irritated the girl more and left her forcing herself to be polite. Mitsukuni didn't quite understand this yet. It wasn't something he had grasped.

In my presence she was intimidated. Her face colored like a tomato and she was unable to keep a steady gaze with me. Her eyes always darted back and forth from the floor, to the table, to anything else that existed in her surroundings, before going back to me. She reminded me of the Host Club guests with her apparent shyness...but on the other hand, unlike the Host Club guests, she never sought us. Nor did she seem to enjoy our presence. She wasn't blushing because she had a crush on us. She was blushing because she was unsure of how to act with us. She completely lacked all confidence in her actions and only when her bitterness takes over, and only then, had I ever seen her act out on her own.

None of the girls I met were like this.

Haruhi wasn't like this.

None of the girls at Ouran were like this. Though they acted shy at first, they were pretty bold after the initial shock wore over. They acted entitled. They were demanding.

She was more or less resigned.

"Where's Momoku? Honey-senpai, I thought you said she was coming." Haruhi said, snapping me out of the slight daze I was in. Mitsukuni jumped up and waved his hands for her attention.

"She said she had a little work to do on the boat, but that she'd come by afterwards! She said it wasn't a lot of work, right Takashi?"

"Aah." She wasn't going to come. I knew this.

Haruhi put her knuckles to her lip, lightly biting one as she contemplated.

"I should go help her, it's my job to help on the boat anyway." She turned to move towards the door and I wondered for a moment if I should let her go to Momoku, knowing full well that she had no work to do on the boat.

"Haruhi." I found myself saying out loud, causing her to pause and look up at me with those wide doe eyes. I stood up and consequently attracted Mitsukuni's attention.

"I'll go with you." I said simply and Mitsukuni, upon hearing this hopped up and ran towards us, his arms outstretched as he jumped onto Haruhi.

"Where are you guys going! Usa-chan wants to come too!" His outburst then attracted the attention of Tamaki.

"Eh? Haruhi? Where is daughter going without her daddy?"

"You guys I'm just going to see how Momoku is doing, I'll be right back-"

"Eh? If Tono is going..." Hikaru started.

"Then we must come too." Kaoru finished.

And within the span of 60 seconds, I knew that I had suddenly made the situation a hundred times worse.

I silently cursed myself.


	5. Boat Party

Kiski - I always look forward to your reviews, unfortunately my latest chapter isn't much of one, but I'm attempting to move the story along. Your reviews always give me hope and they're so uplifting in that somebody out there catches the nuances that I put into my writing. It makes me feel like it's not pointless and that it all has a purpose because everyone else feels the same way.

Undead Artist - I do apologize for the long breaks between updates...it's...it's a giant issue of mine. I'm glad you enjoy the first-person point of view. I have a difficult time writing in 3rd person point of view because to me, it's what goes on inside the main character's head that makes sense of everything around her.

Linda Chicana - LOL. I wish I could relate to my character PLUS the hot guys. I hope you continue reading my story. Thank you for your support!

GhoticLover13 - I'm glad you like! I will do my best!

Aurora rose1001 - I hope she'll be okay too :)

4Evr.-A.-fAIlUrE - Your username so aptly describes Momoku xD. It's one of the greatest compliments to me when you actually feel yourself in the character I've created. I'm glad you love my story, I hope you continue following it. Hopefully my story won't only make you want to cry, but also smile.

Dragon of Twilight - Let your inner fangirl loose. This site IS called fanfiction after all! Thank you for analyzing things, it means you cared enough to analyze it. That's more than I can ask for.

kairi-senpai - I strive to make the most normal OC!

**To anybody who reviewed but wasn't mentioned here, I sincerely apologize. I have a hard time keeping track of those I've responded to and to those I haven't. I will do my best to keep better track from now on. Also, this is a very short update. I planned on having this update be much longer but I'm having some pains in my abdominal region and need to nap it off.**

Silence.

Finally.

Silence.

I wondered how Migi was doing in Switzerland. She was probably indulging in delicious chocolate, and cheese...perhaps both at the same time. I was utterly jealous that she got to spend her summer in an exotic European country. The most exotic my family ever got was going to the occasional Italian restaurant in Japan-which, by the way, is a terrible idea. I freely admit that my people, the Japanese, do not know how to make Italian food. Or maybe I just have no taste for Italian food. Either way, my experiences in Italian restaurants in Japan were never very pleasant.

Getting offtrack.

Migi. Switzerland. Cool. Me. Middle of the ocean. Not cool.

I threw a piece of debris off the railing of the boat in frustration, enjoying the nice 'plop' and 'sploosh' sound it made when it hit the ocean water. I leaned over the rail and peered over it pathetically, unable to see my reflection in the dim moonlight off of the water. I considered what my parents would do if they discovered that their daughter had decided to throw herself off the side of the boat to drown. They would be sad I'm sure, but would they be sorry? I wondered what everyone's reaction would be. Haruhi would be sad like a very good saint. I knew Migi would probably miss me. That would totally make her regret going to Switzerland for the summer instead of hanging out with me like a good friend should.

Sigh.

No, I didn't mean that.

Well, I only sort of meant that.

I was happy for Migi, really, a part of me was sincerely happy for her that she got such a cool opportunity to go to Switzerland. But a much _larger_ part of me was envious and spiteful. A _much_ larger part.

She left me alone to deal with...with..the Host Club.

I bet if she were here with me, I'd be more fearless you know? If she were here with me I wouldn't take some of their bullshit and I'd yell at them back. She'd definitely be on my side and be like, my sidekick. She'd probably tell Kyoya to pull that stick out of his ass, tell the twins to go shove it and that they're just little brats, yell at Tamaki for being such an idiot and she might even tell Honey-senpai to cut the lolita crap because it was wearing on her nerves.

Yeah, she would totally be on my side!

My ears perked up as I heard...footsteps? Lots of footsteps? In fact, it sounded like a crowd of footsteps amongst mild shouts and laughter...

Probably some drunk kids having fun out in the town. Silly teenagers-

"-HARUHI WHY WON'T YOU PAY ATTENTION TO DADDY?"

No.

Oh no.

God no. Please no.

"Senpai, be quiet."

"MOMMY! OUR DAUGHTER IS BEING DISRESPECTFUL!"

God-just...fuck. Goddammit. Goddamn life. Goddamn Haruhi. Goddamn the fucking ocean.

Maybe jumping off of the side of the boat wouldn't be that extreme a decision after all. I looked around, I could probably make it into my cabin room and into my bed to pretend to sleep. If I went around the left rather than the right...Yes, I could totally do it.

In an ideal world it would have worked out.

The moment I turned around and took a step I crashed into somebody, ever so gracefully smacking my head first. The force sent me to the ground and onto my ass, leaving me to rub my forehead in wonder. Looking up I saw a less than amused Kyouya. Naturally, he offered no help so I had to get back up on my own.

"Going somewhere?" He asked in an amused tone, but I could tell from his face that he was not in the least bit amused with the situation. I brushed myself off and returned his steady look, determined to show him that I was just as irritated as he was.

"Yes. Yes I was."

"Well that's too bad." Kyouya paused after this and took his glasses off, again rubbing the lenses clean with the silk handkerchief from his pocket before he resumed speaking. "Because our dear President has decided that we'd be having some fun here instead of pursuing this endeavor in our hotel suite." The last part he added bitterly and there was a small sliver inside of me that was happy that at least it wasn't just me irked by the situation.

"I'm thrilled that you decided to follow him." The words slipped out before I could hold my tongue. The sarcasm was unbridled and abound, but instead of looking at his face for his reaction, I merely turned around and went back the way I came, running into, instead, another obstacle.

"Momo-chaaaan! Hellooo! Did you miss me?" Honey threw his arms around my neck and I choked momentarily from the friction of his limbs around my throat.

"Of course I did." Lies.

"Yay! Haru-chan and I were wondering why you didn't come to the party yet, so we decided to come to you! Aren't you happy Momo-chan?"

_No._

"Of course I am."

"Yaaay! See Takashi? Momo-chan is so happy!"

"Ah."

"My dear princess-"

"Senpai, leave her alone. Sorry about this Momoku they all just-"

"I was merely welcoming the princess! Daughter shouldn't talk to Daddy like that-"

"You're not my dad senpai-"

"-MOMMY!"

And just like that, with a snap of somebody's imaginary fingers, it was like I had been picked up by the scruff of the neck and tossed into a tornado of shit. A giant tornado of bullshit. It was as if I were watching my own life through a third person point of view. I heard everyone's voices shouting about me, but I didn't really _hear_ them you know? I definitely watched people moving and interacting, but I felt myself distanced and detached, almost in slow motion as everything panned out. The twins had jumped in at some point, though if you ask me specifically when, I wouldn't have been able to tell you. Honey-senpai had thrown himself in the midst of it as well, waving around his precious Usa-chan like a banner. Haruhi had already disappeared from my view, buried within Tamaki's arms as he 'fended' away the 'evil' twins.

And slowly, ever so slowly, the sound of my breathing started becoming louder in my ears, beginning to drown the noise that was coming from all around me. I heard my heart speed up as well, its beat drumming loudly and becoming more frantic with the passing second. My breath, my heart, my breath, my heart. Breathe. Pump. Breathe. Pump. Breathe.

What was happening to me?

Were the colors fading from everyone?

Or was it just me?

My heart was racing. Was it supposed to be beating that fast? Was I supposed to be breathing this heavily? If my heart were to beat any louder I'm pretty sure my eardrums would burst.

_What's happening to me?_

_I think I'm going to die._

**Bump. Bump. Ba dum dum. Bump. Ba dum dum. Bump.**

_I really think I'm about to die._

_I'm going to die right now. I'm going to die and-_

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and like being sucked down a whirlpool, I was transported back into my own body, my hands shaking and my eyes wide as I looked up at...Kyouya?

"Are you alright?" He asked and I found that his calm voice was soothing me, calming me down as my heartbeat began to normalize.

"Yes, I'm..I'm fine. I think I'll go start baking a cake for Honey-senpai." I quickly excused myself, blinking rapidly as I tried to figure out what had just happened to me. But as I walked towards the kitchens, I heard his footsteps behind me, following me steadily all the way to the pantry. I pretended that I hadn't noticed him following me and proceeded to shuffle through the ingredients, none of them really registering in my head as I felt them with my fingers. There were letters and there were colors, but I found myself unable to pay attention to what was what, so I grabbed whatever willy nilly, attempting to make it look like I actually knew what I was doing.

But when I went to pick up something, I felt his hand on my shoulder once again.

"Sit down."

I obeyed.

Without thinking I sat right there on the pantry floor, looking up dazedly at him. He pulled out a flashlight from seemingly nowhere and pointed it right into my eyes. Instead of wincing at the brightness I felt my eyes getting even wider in panic. He quickly shut the flashlight off, leaving me with spotted vision. He then picked up my hand, putting two fingers against my wrist for a few seconds.

All of this happened in complete silence.

And I didn't think much of it.

In fact, I was having a hard time thinking of anything at all.

So it was somewhat of a shock to me that the next time I opened my eyes, I was face to face with Kyouya, who had gotten down on one knee to get eye level with me.

_What gorgeous eyes you have..._

"You've just had a panic attack. Fortunately it wasn't too serious, otherwise it'd still be going on. Listen to me, focus. Are you listening to me?"

"Uh huh." That was the best response he was going to get from me. He seemed to accept it.

"Good. Now, close your eyes."

_Okay. They're closed._

"Take a deep breath, and let it out slowly. I want you to do this three times. Can you do that for me?"

_Yes sir._

"Do it again. Count to five when you breathe in, and count to five when you breathe out."

_Okay._

_Breathing in...breathing out...breathing in...breathing out..._

_Body is so tired. I feel so...exhausted..._

"Don't fall asleep."

_No sir, I won't._

"Open your eyes and look at me."

_They're very comfortable being shut, thank you very much._

"_Open_ your eyes and look at me right now."

I opened them slowly, feeling as if I had just woken up from a deep sleep. I felt fatigued and sluggish, my head heavy and unhappy. But I continued looking at him as he had commanded, his stern gaze seeming to be the only thing that was keeping me sitting up straight.

"How do you feel?"

"...tired."

"Can you stand?"

"Yes sir." I found myself saying, not really thinking about how easily my thoughts found their way to my tongue. I stood up slowly, my knees feeling like they were made of gelatin and my legs feeling as if they had run a marathon. My arms were slightly useless as they hung limp at my sides. He had made no move to help me when I stood up. I guess he had helped me this much already, it would have been greedy for me to expect anything more. It was already surprising how he had helped me to begin with.

"Thank you, Ootori-san."

He didn't really respond to my thanks and instead crossed his arms above his chest, leaning against the pantry door as he stared at me with no definable expression.

"There is always a source for what causes panic attacks. Do you think you can identify what exactly caused yours? Is there something that's stressing you out lately or-"

"HARUHIIII!" One of the twins, Hikaru, I guessed, had come bursting in, dragging a flustered Haruhi behind him and I knew that the other twin was close to follow. And wherever Haruhi was, Tamaki would soon be joining. It was like a perfect cue, the blood draining from my face and heart starting to race once more.

Everything happened very quickly and in retrospect, it all seemed a blur to me.

Like I had predicted, in stumbled Kaoru and Tamaki, the two of them creating some tangled knot of limbs and stupidity followed by Honey who was hopping around like a rogue firework. I don't know where Mori had come from, but I watched as Kyouya whispered something to him and the next thing I knew, I had been quickly picked up like a rag doll and carried away from the scene, unnoticed by the others who were in some unidentifiable heap of bodies. I was taken to one of the cabin rooms and placed on the bed, my body feeling weightless as it all played out. I found myself looking up at a towering Mori and as soon as my heart had begun to calm down, it started up again, pounding its little fists against my chest in some illegitimate morse code. But rather than the blood draining from my face, it rushed to my cheeks and my entire head heated up.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I liked his voice.

"No." I was honest. I seemed to always be honest with Mori.

"It's my fault." He said simply and I almost didn't register what he had said.

"Huh?"

"It's my fault. That they're here." That was about all the explanation he gave me and as I waited for more, his blank stare told me that there was nothing more for him to say.

"Um. Okay." I was much more concerned the the closeness of his proximity to mine. He was standing in front of me as I sat on the bed, legs dangling from the edge. If I moved my left foot forward a couple inches I could have touched his leg with my foot. I was tempted to do it too. My previous anxiety seemed to have receded, my current thoughts now plagued with the idea of touching Mori's leg with my foot. If I slowly...inched up...

"I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

He got down on one knee as well to get eye level with me.

"I'm sorry."

_What?_

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	6. Boat Party II

**Sai the Black Rose -** Thanks! I tried to make it as accurate as possible without dramatizing it too much :D

**Linda Chicana - **But you must wait! And here I bring you ze next chaptaaaaah!

**Dragon of Twilight** - Haruhi is always right. She's like one of those...you know...she's just always right and insightful when you don't want her to be and completely oblivious when you do (ie that boy who confessed to her in middle school). I feel like panic attacks come without too much notice and that you don't realize how much things are affecting you until you're actually having a physical response you know?

**Mari92** - It wasn't a formatting issue. I cut it off there because my stomach was starting to hurt, but I wanted to update for you guys, so I gave you a shortened chapter. My update now is the rest of the chapter that I had intended to include. And seriously, it is like wearing a mask. Because the moment you actually admit that you're jealous of your friends, you look like a gigantic douche you know?

**4Evr.-A.-fAIlUrE **- Aww...I'm still really glad you're able to relate to Momoku, despite you feeling like her isn't exactly a positive thing...;) And thank you, I feel much better now!

**The Midnight Shadow Star** - I'll definitely take into note my readers'preferences for whom she ends up with. And I updated soon! See? :D

**SakuraKiss234 - **Yes! I know! I mean I've met people I've really liked before, but I mean it's so unbelievable when the entire cast of a story falls for one girl instantly you know? It's a mistake I've made in the past with my fics and as I grow as a writer I do my best to avoid it now that I'm more conscious of it. Besides, Haruhi's already taken the position of The-Girl-Whom-Everybody-Loves-Instantly-And-Is-The-Exception-To-Everything.

**runman2 - **it loves you.

**Renhi** - A new reader! Waah! Thank you so much for reviewing! I'm also really glad you found my story :) I try to keep a balance of her not being a bottle of sunshine and being super emo. Can't have her being super emo...because that just gets annoying (though I admit, I've had my moments..a whole lot of them).

**This is a very short chapter because this update is actually something that was supposed to be included with the last chapter before my stomach started to hurt a bunch. But now I feel better and hereby present you with the rest of the chapter!**

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"I'm sorry."

_What?_

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I wasn't sure how to proceed from here. She was staring at me blankly, confused and bewildered by my apology. I found myself at a standstill, unsure of my own self and unsure of how to proceed now. Kyouya had quickly filled me in on the details and without second thought I had just picked her up and taken to a different place, like how I plucked Haruhi from the disconbobulated mass of thetwins and Tamaki from time to time. But when I had placed her down and had taken notice of how unwell she looked I felt a massive pang of guilt stab me in the chest. If it hadn't been for me, the Host Club would have stayed put and I would have never brought Momoku any unnecessary stress.

But now that I had apologized and found myself staring at her eye to eye while down on one knee, I had no clue what to do.

I didn't understand what course of action I needed to take now.

She looked flustered and the longer I stared at her the redder her face became.

I found myself becoming nervous, though I let nothing show on my face.

"Mori-senpai?" I almost jumped. I blinked in response and she stared at her hands which were neatly folded on her lap.

"You can..um...you can go. You don't have to stay. I'm...uh, I'm fine now. So you can..um..go. Or..whatever." She was rambling, and as rude as it seemed, I didn't respond. I was also afraid that if I responded, I would ramble as well.

She looked up at my silence and her face just got redder at her realization that I had never stopped staring at her.

"Mori-senpai?" She wanted some sort of response.

"Aah." That was the best I could do.

I really had no idea what to do. Did I stand up and leave now? But I wanted to make sure that she was alright. What was I supposed to ask her? She said she was fine. But she didn't look fine. Was I supposed to push the matter? Or just leave her to herself and trust that she was indeed, fine? What if she were to have another panic attack? There would be nobody present to-

"Mori-senpai..? R-really...I'm fine. You can go."

"Aah."

I stood up abruptly as if jumping in reaction to something, but she didn't seem to have noticed that. She gave me a smile, thanking me for my help and I found myself nodding, leaving quickly and walking out faster than I had intended to.

I was slightly bewildered with myself.

What had just happened in that exchange?

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Was he just as awkward as I was?

The silence had been maddeningly deafening to me, but he seemed to be alright with it, staring at me without uttering a single word. I supposed he had been waiting to see if I were alright...

Yeah, it was probably just all in my own head.

Oh but he was so amazing.

He had lifted me like I weighed nothing and had placed me so gently onto the bed. Then he had gotten down on one knee to look at me.

Just _remembering_ his eyes made me blush.

I found myself smiling, in spite of what I had just experienced. He was so handsome..and tall...and kind...

Sighing, I flopped back onto the bed, closed my eyes and adorned the most foolish smile on the face of the earth.

I was an idiot.

Big big idiot.

But for a moment, I let myself live in a fantasy world.

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"How is she doing?"

"Fine." Was all the answer he gave me and it was to be expected of Takashi. But his standing there was not expected. He stood immobile with his back to the closed door, his expression unreadable and distant. What I _had_ expected was for him to immediately walk back into the fray, or at least near it to be within a closer proximity to Mitsukuni-but no...he just...stood there, staring at nothing and seemingly to be thinking of nothing. I quietly noted this and looked at my watch.

10:45PM.

Knowing Tamaki and the others, they wouldn't get tired until around 3:00AM, then wake up at around noon.

By midnight the Kalabri Corporation was expecting a detailed summary of the monthly revenue.

At around six o'clock tomorrow morning the Trenton Electronics Company would be expecting a video conference to discuss the improvements to the machinery at the eastern Ootori-owned hospitals. I promptly pulled out my smartphone and emailed my assistant. He'd have to be the one to be carrying that conference in my place, I was in no mood to attend it at 6:00AM.

The rest of the bruntwork I had joyously left to the care of my older brothers, a subtle smugness pervading me as I thought about it. I pocketed my phone.

Things had become much easier since that night my father's company had been bought out...by me.

The clever move had left me in a secured position of awe that none of my family had expected and neither of my brothers had achieved. I was no longer waiting to inherit the company, but had instead moved to make it mine. The move had both shocked my father and humbled him, consequently granting me a lot more room to breathe freely.

At 8:00AM tomorrow morning, the Morinaga Corporation would be asking about the possibility of a merger.

The Murayama family would probably depart from land at around 4:00PM, requiring only a day or so of fishing to bring in the expected profit for the summer. We had at least 5 weeks left at sea. The productiveness of the newer boat had already proven itself and all the fishing that was being done after tomorrow would be done for unexpected profit.

I looked up. Takashi was still there.

"Mori-senpai, is there something I can help you with?" I asked politely and he merely glanced at me, looking almost annoyed at the cordial tone I took with him.

"Aah." That was a no.

He finally moved from the door, walk past me without another word to join the others. It was a somewhat curious event but I didn't find it curious enough to put any more thought to it. I didn't particularly understand Takashi to begin with.

What did intrigue me was the amount of stress we had cause Haruhi's friend to actually evoke a type of trauma within her. The girl had commoner written all over her forehead. What was more interesting was that from what I had gathered about commoners, they were much more thick skinned and hardy in comparison to us rich bas-privileged people. Haruhi had proven that time and time again. But not this girl. This girl seemed to have skin made out of rice paper and a heart made out of tofu. She was just absolutely weak and pathetic in so many ways. It was actually hard to believe that this girl was friends with Haruhi. But then again, Haruhi seemed to have an uncanny ability of befriending anyone with a complete lack of regard for the integrity of character. I supposed it was her charm.

I needed to have the reports in to Taiki by tomorrow as well. I'd have my assistant mail those for me as well.

The Murayama's would probably once again underestimate the actual amount and array of food the Host Club required while out at sea. I would send somebody into town to gather more supplies for the trip along with more anti-nausea medication. Of the Host Club members, only Haruhi had ever had experience being on a rocking boat, in the middle of a storm, out at sea. The rest of us were only acquainted with yachts and cruises. There was minimal rocking on those and absolutely zero exposure to any inclimate weather. Why the_ idiot_ had to follow Haruhi on this venture was beyond me.

Why I joined was also beyond me.

"MOMMY! DAUGHTER'S BEING MEAN!"

Of course.

I turned around to see Haruhi rubbing her temple as Tamaki lay prostrate at her feet, rivers of dramatic tears streaming down his face. I sighed at the scene and walked over, unamused at what he could possibly be whining about now.

"Eh Tono...you're being too sensitive." Piped one of the twins.

"All she said was that all you did tonight was make a ruckus-" Continued the other.

"-and that you were of no use being here-"

"-or anywhere near this boat."

"Waaaaaaah." Whined Tamaki, seeming to physically melt with his tears on the ground. I stepped towards him and nudged him with my foot, trying to get him to end his antics sooner than later.

"All she stated was the truth. Get up Tamaki, I think it's about time we go back to the hotel. You should get some rest."

"But I haven't gotten to talk to Momoku yet-"

"You have another 5 weeks to talk to her. We're all stuck on a boat, nobody's going anywhere." I cut Haruhi off and the moment I did I knew I had done the wrong thing as a small flash of anger went through her face.

"You guys can go, but I came here to see Momoku. By the way, where is she?" Why so many damn questions?

"She's sleeping. Do you care to wake her up?" It was almost a challenge, and whether or not it actually was, Haruhi took it. Of course she did. I'd be disappointed if she backed down.

"Eh? She's sleeping? No way, it's so early. I'll just go check up on her-"

And it seemed like time froze when the unexpected hand of Takashi Morinozuka reached out and put a hand on Haruhi's shoulder, stopping her from taking a single step. For Takashi to make any sort of physical movement towards anyone besides Mitsukuni was always unexpected.

"She's not feeling well." He said. With those few words it was understood that nobody was to bother her, not even Haruhi.

I became slightly more curious.

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	7. A Small Fight

Aah...I'm sorry to do this to you guys again. I'll include my responses to everyone's reviews in my next update (pinky swear!). This is again just HALF of a chapter, because I have to rush off to do school stuff. So if it seems like there's no conclusion or point to this update, it's because I haven't included the other half of the chapter yet. But I wanted you guys to have an update soon. So here it is!

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At 8:00AM a multitude of workers showed up on the boat, carrying boxes of food and who knows what else into the kitchen. At first I was startled, being caught in my finest undies without warning. But I quickly realized what was going on and that Kyouya had once again gone ahead and made preparations. I ignored them, eventually getting out of my cozy bed and off of my comfortable behind to get ready for the day.

Today we went back to the ocean. Or, today we would be going back to the ocean.

4 weeks and 6 days.

That's how much time I had left with Haruhi and the Host Club.

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At 9:00AM the workers were done filling up our boat with an unnecessarily large amount of food. At around 9:30AM Haruhi showed up to the boat, way before my parents or the Host Club. I had attempted to convince her that she had a while until we left, but like the good girl she was, she declined and insisted that she help with the preparations that she was being paid to do. And so came the moment I had been so meticulously attempting to avoid for this entire trip. I was alone with Haruhi, one on one, with nobody nearby to distract us from each other. I just prayed that my parents would come soon.

"Mori-senpai told me that you weren't feeling well last night. Are you feeling better now Momoku?" she asked so sweetly and I smiled at her, briefly wondering if my smile was overdone. Or worse, if she could tell. There was a brief flicker in her eyes, and my paranoia told me that she knew.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." Making conversation with somebody you didn't want to talk to was always one of the more painful things in life.

"That's good to hear. I'm glad you're feeling better now. I was worried that the Host Club was giving you too much trouble."

_Then why did you bring them?_

"Huh?"

Wait.

Had I just said that out loud?

"Momoku...what are you talking about?"

I guess I had.

"Nothing. Just forget it. I'm going to go check to see that all the bait is ready." I moved to go past her, but something stopped me. Haruhi had reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Stop it. The bait is fine. Momoku-"

"-I'm just going to check-"

"Will you _please_ just talk to me? Momoku, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Haruhi. I was just going to check on the bait." She didn't believe me.

"Momoku you're avoiding me."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I'm _not_. Now leave me alone. I'm going to go check on the bait-"

"_Momoku_. Come on-"

"_Haruhi_, chill out."

"Stop it-"

"Leave me alone Haruhi."

"Just tell me what's wrong-"

"-_Nothing_ is wrong now let me go-"

"-_No_. Momoku why won't you talk to me-"

"-let go-"

"No-"

"I said let go-"

"No-"

"_LET GO!_"

_**Smack**_.

Oh sweet Jesus.

I didn't.

I did.

The resounding noise of my hand hitting her flesh was like a cannon shot in my ear. Her eyes were as wide as mine and I actually wasn't sure who was more shocked about the exchange. The area where my hand had come into contact with her face was turning bright red, showing a vaguely hand-shaped...welt-like..thing.. Had I hit her that hard? Had I really just hit her?

She looked at me in shock, like some wounded dog I had just kicked in the chest. Her eyes were watering slightly from the sting of the pain, but I knew she wouldn't cry. I myself felt that I would cry before she did anyway, even though I was the one who had done the slapping.

Instinctively, I wanted to apologize, take her and hug her and tell her how sorry I was; how I didn't mean to do that; how I didn't know what had come over me; how I hoped she would forgive me; and again, how so very sorry I was.

But I didn't. Instead, I waited.

I waited for her to react. Yell at me. Scream at me. Hopefully even hit me back.

She did none of that. Of course she didn't. She was Haruhi Fujioka. She was much better than that.

".Momoku...?" Her voice was soft, gentle and inquiring. She wanted to know why I did that. She wasn't angry. She was hurt. "Why did you..."

"God damn it Haruhi! Can't you yell at me? Can't you just fucking scream at me? Or better yet, can't you just hit me back?" I was the one yelling now and it felt as if I had no control over myself. I was getting angrier by the second, maddeningly insane and upset at the same time at how well she was taking being hit in the face.

"I want to know why you hit me...I want to know what I did to upset you so much. Just tell me why-"

"You really want to know why? You _really_ want to know?" I was screaming this as a part of me understood that I really didn't have a reason why-at least, not one I could very well vocalize. But it didn't stop me from opening my mouth.

"Because I hate you Haruhi. I _hate_ you. I hate you, I hate the Host Club, I hate that you ruined my fucking life! Just...just fuck off!" The fact that I had completely lost it and exaggerated, slipped my mind and without thinking I had walked off.

Before I realized it, I had already walked halfway into town. Wiping at my face I was alerted to the fact that I had _indeed_ cried. Apparently I had been crying the entire time I walked downtown. God, I must have looked like an idiot. Great. Great. Of course though. It's not like I could even storm off in style. No, I stormed off with tears streaming down my face and with no actual destination. I quickly wiped off the rest of the salty tears and snot mixture from my face with my sleeve and looked around. There was a cafe to my left, a library to my right, a clothing shop to my top left, and another clothing shop to my top right. Digging through my pockets I found about 93 cents.

Well. I was already too embarrassed to return to the boat...

Library it was.

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As predicted, at 10:00AM the only one who was up and awake was myself. Well, apart from Haruhi who seemed to already have left for the boat. Even though he had a separate room, I could hear Tamaki snoring through the walls of my room, the sound waves seeming to rumble the floor. I fixed the collar of my shirt in the mirror, the video conference was boring and tedious, my assistant had misplaced a file for a few minutes and he was currently fearing for his job.

He should be fearing for his job.

For somebody who was being paid the amount he was, I expected him to make no goddamn mistakes. His whole life was to be my secretary and assistant. Just one more fuck up and I'd cut him off with no benefits. I was not going to tolerate any more mistakes.

My luggage had already been transferred to the boat and so I sauntered to the elevator, taking my time as I fixed out a small crinkle in my wrist cuff. It seems that the hotel's dry cleaner missed a wrinkle.

When I reached the elevator I was considerably surprised to find Takashi already in there, about to push the button when he saw me.

"Good morning Mori-senpai."

"Morning." He replied cordially, allowing me to step into the elevator before he pushed the button for the ground floor. I noted immediately that Mitsukuni was nowhere to be found. Perhaps Takashi was running an errand for him, picking him up a breakfast dessert to eat.

No.

If that were the case, he would just order room service. How curious.

"Where is Honey-senpai?" I lightly probed, I wasn't _too_ curious.

"Asleep." I may not have been that curious, but his answer was less than helpful. _Obviously_ he was asleep. Otherwise he'd be with Takashi. I didn't let it irritate me though, rather I pushed it to the back of my mind and quietly rode the elevator, running through the dock of things to do today.

If my estimations were correct, we'd leave at around 3:00PM. By that time Tamaki and the others will have woken up, bathed, been fed, and ready on the boat. Currently it was 10:14AM. It was no surprise to me that Takashi got out on the ground floor like me (what other floor would he go to?), what surprised me was the duplicate direction he took when we left the hotel lobby. He was going to the boat as well. But why go without Mitsukuni? It felt foolish to have taken separate taxis to the same location, but he seemed to neither think of inviting me or care for what I was doing. Not to mention, I had no idea that he was going to the same destination until we were 3 minutes into the drive.

As we got out of our separate rides Takashi merely gave me a glance, noticing that I had come to the boat as well. I nodded and quietly followed him onto the boat, ready to meet with Haruhi and see what state Momoku was in.

But greeted me was no Momoku and a Haruhi with a swollen left cheek.

She looked despondent and numb, her eyes staring into nothing as her hands laid folded on her lap.

"Haruhi." Takashi's voice came rumbling and it seemed to snap her out of it. The tears were welled up in Haruhi's eyes and for a moment I was taken aback. I had never seen Haruhi in a state of emotional weakness, not once. Supposedly she was terrified of thunderstorms, but I was never witness to this. As far as my knowledge went, Haruhi Fujioka was impervious to all methods of emotional compromise.

"Oh..Mori-senpai. You're here already. Hi Kyouya-senpai-"

"What happened to your face?" I asked abruptly and she immediately brought her hand to the swollen side of her face, touching it gently and staring off into space. She seemed to snap out of it randomly and looked me in the eyes, her brows furrowing and a new expression adorning her face.

"Have you seen Momoku?"

"I would have thought her to be on the boat-"

"What time is it?" She asked hurriedly, not really giving me a moment to finish my sentence. I checked my watch.

"It is currently 10:30AM." She seemed to jump up at this, looking horrified and worried.

"We have to find her!"

"I assume you're talking about Momoku." I said dryly but Takashi seemed more interested now.

"Where is she?" He asked, the most amount of words in a sentence I had heard from him today thus far.

"I don't know! We got into a fight and...and she stormed off. She's been gone for an hour-senpai-" Takashi interrupted her by putting a hand on her shoulder and nodding.

"I'll go find her. Stay here." He said. And without another word he promptly left, getting back into the taxi he had just gotten out of. I looked at Haruhi and quietly inspected the red side of her face. There was a faint shape to the red welt-looking thing. It looked vaguely like-

Haruhi had been slapped in the face. Haruhi had been slapped in the face by Momoku.

Fascinating.

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Oh God...what had I done?

It was over an hour since I had slapped Haruhi across the face and since then I had significantly calmed down and was now rolling in the depths of regret.

_Whyyyy...? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY? WHY DID I DO THAT?_

I was an idiot. I had overreacted. I had told her that she had ruined my life. I told her she had ruined my life when all she did was muck up my summer vacation a little bit. Oh God. I was such an idiot. Such a fucking idiot. How did my mother manage to give birth to an idiot like me? How did an idiot like me manage to make it out of my mother's womb without stupidly wrapping the umbilical cord around my neck?

_If I could just be struck dead right now..._

The things I'd give to drop dead right now. The things I'd give to fall into some sort of abyss. I'd give _all_ the things.

I groaned again, putting my head in my arms as I hid behind a book I stood up in front of me. It was so painful being stupid and being alive enough to realize that you were stupid.

It was kind of funny. Just the other day I would have been completely content with the idea of not having Haruhi as my friend ever again-actually, I would have been _happy_ had she stopped being my friend. But now, now that I was faced with the idea that Haruhi hated me...I was afraid. I was afraid to have her hate me. I was afraid to completely lose her as a friend.

But why was I scared of that?

Why did I care about the opinion of somebody I didn't even like?

Come to think of it, I cared about the opinions of the Host Club as well.

I wanted them to like me too. I wanted the Hitachin twins to look at me with as much adoration as they did Haruhi. I wish the Host Club would be as protective as me as they were of Haruhi. Tamaki didn't pay attention to me all the time. He didn't want to dress me up in cute clothing or anything.

No, I didn't care.

I didn't care.

_I don't care about what they think._ I thought to myself over and over again, trying to convince myself of it, though I knew that I did very much care. I wanted the approval of some very handsome boys my age.

I was such a typical girl. There was nothing special about me.

I wished I could say that I were 'different'from all the other girls, wished that I could say 'I'm not like other girls' But I couldn't. And not to mention, all girls who said 'I'm not like other girls'were exactly like other girls. Ugh.

Without thinking I had started to repeatedly thunk my forehead against the table, some metaphorical way of trying to knock some sense into myself I guess.

_Thwack_.

Idiot.

_Thwack thwack._

Bumbling idiot.

_Thwack thwack thwack._

Ginormous-

"Excuse me young lady...are you alright there?"

I stood up abruptly, forgetting that I had been doing something as stupid as slamming my head on a table in a public place. The book that had been standing in front of me to hide my face fell over with a disturbingly loud slam, attracting even more attention. I was horrified. I looked quickly to the librarian who seemed sincerely concerned for my well being and I bowed hastily.

"Gomenasai...gomenasai..." And with a few more quick bows I had run out of the library and tried to find the darkest corner to lose myself in.

Which happened to be the alley a few blocks down.

I sat down on a milk crate and pulled my knees to my chest. Leaning my forehead against my knees I let myself sink into a state of dramatic despair. I was frustrated. So very frustrated.

And the more I thought about it.

I think people only cried when they were frustrated.

Or well...I only cried when I was frustrated.

I didn't cry when I stormed away from Haruhi because I was upset. I cried because I was frustrated that I had no idea what was going on inside my own heart.

And I cried again, now, because I was frustrated at myself.

I was frustrated because I was such an idiot.

I didn't even have the courage to go back to the boat because I was too ashamed to face Haruhi. Also, I bet by this time, the others were back on the boat and had been alerted as to what went down between Haruhi and I. They probably heard what a monster I was, beating up their precious Haruhi...

I groaned.

_Baka baka baka._

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11:37AM.

It was about two hours since Momoku had stormed off. Takashi hadn't called to say he had found her. Haruhi was getting more visibly worried. She had begun to pace, her arms crossed above her chest. I knew exactly what she was going to say when she stopped her pacing for a moment.

"I should-"

"It's a small town, Mori-senpai will find her soon."

"But we'd find her sooner if-"

_**Riiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.**_

I looked at my phone. It was Takashi.

"It's Mori-senpai." I flipped open my phone.

"Yes?"

"_I've found her. We'll be back at the boat in about two hours."_

"Why would it take so long-"

**Click**.

That little bastard. He had hung up on me. I calmly turned to Haruhi, seething inside, and smiled.

"Mori-senpai has found her. He said they're going to go eat before returning to the boat." Immediately, Haruhi seemed to beam light.

"Oh that's a relief."

Indeed.

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I had looked for through downtown and had called up the places that weren't closeby, but she wasn't in any one of them. But then this librarian told me that a troubled little girl had been slamming her head against the table and had bolted away without another word. I had searched near the library when I heard the sniffling noises coming from some dark alley. I immediately tensed, wondering for a moment if it were some trap, but as I listened closer, the crying sounded familiar.

Peering closely into the dark I saw that some girl was huddled on top of a milk crate, her head buried in her arms. I recognized her quickly. Her black hair and small frame.

But what was I supposed to do with a crying girl? Was I...supposed to let her finish crying before disturbing her? Or was I supposed to comfort her while she was crying? But I didn't even really know her. She probably wouldn't want comfort from somebody like me. She'd probably find that weird or awkward...or..

"M-mori senpai..?" I had dawdled too long in my own head and had been caught off guard. She looked at me with surprise followed by immediate embarrassment. She quickly wiped her face and hopped off of the milk crate, standing up awkwardly and smoothing out invisible wrinkles. She was awkwardly cute the way her face was puffed up from crying, her hair slightly askew from frustration, the outline of her eyes slightly pink, and her eyes sparkling with the tears that had just adorned them. She was being cute. I guessed...this is what Mitsukuni would be like if his tears were ever sincere...and if he were a girl.

No. He was nothing like her. She was nothing like him.

"Haruhi was worried about you. She was wondering where you had gone." And with those words she shrank back, hugging herself and looking down at the ground which smelled suspiciously of urine. It was an alley after all.

"H-haruhi was worried about me? I guess...I guess you know about our fight then..."

"Aah." I did know about their fight. That handprint had been pretty clear on Haruhi's face. The look on Momoku...she seemed completely defeated and distraught.

"You...I guess you must hate me now too huh?" She attempted to smile, but that smile looked more like a twisted trainwreck on her face as she was on the brink of crying as she attempted to smile. She seemed to be shivering, though whether in fear or from cold I wasn't sure. I approached her and wrapped my coat around her shoulders, the ends of it nearly touching the ground due to her height. She nearly jumped, surprised by the contact and unsure of what was wrapping her. She immediately looked down at the ends which were almost touching the ground and began to take the jacket off.

"Oh no..senpai...I'll get this dirty, here you can-" I didn't know how to argue with her, so I merely put my hands on her shoulders, pinning my coat back down on her and startling her even more.

"Have you eaten yet?" I asked, unintentionally ignoring what she was saying. She shook her head.

"I only had 93 cents in my pocket.." She mumbled, her face becoming red very quickly. I subtly directed her out of the alley by pushing her back gently, guiding her into the sunny street where there was less urine on the ground.

"Do you hate me Mori-senpai?" She asked pathetically, her question sounding as if it were afraid of the answer. I smiled to myself at the absurdity of the question. What went through her head to come to that conclusion I would never know.

"No." I answered honestly. She didn't seem satisfied with my answer though, her shoulders sagging in unhappiness. I felt more concerned now, wondering what was wrong with my answer. Isn't that what she had wanted to hear?

"You're just being nice. It's okay Mori-senpai. I know you're on Haruhi's side." She mumbled again and I almost smiled again, thinking it was a joke, but when I looked down and saw the dejected look in her downcast eyes I knew that there was nothing funny about her words.

It was striking to see just how easily broken she became. I didn't understand how she was so fragile. It seemed that after every semi-serious encounter her heart would crumble and then rebuild sloppily overnight. I still remembered her state after her mother had yelled at her on the boat. Were all women like that? Haruhi seemed to be impervious to everything. Renge lived in her own world and conveniently denied anything that contradicted what she wanted. And...

The girls who requested me as their host always seemed happy.

I guess, that's all I had for reference.

What I could say though, was that none of them were like her. It wasn't good. It wasn't bad. It was just, different. I didn't know how to handle something like Momoku.

"What do you want to eat?" I asked and she shrugged, not really answer.

Maybe this was what it was like to deal with somebody who didn't talk much. I guessed that this was how it was to deal with me.

"Tacos?" I asked, thinking of the only time I had ever really seen her enjoy something. She looked up at me.

"Tacos?"

"Aah."

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	8. No One Knows What it's Like

**Sai the Black Rose** - Yay! It's definitely a constant struggle to keep them in character. But readers like you make the struggle worth it. :D

**The Midnight Shadow Star** - I don't know what Mori would do if one of them were to try and go check on Momoku...probably just forecfully stop them. Pick them up like a rag doll and place them back down xD

**Tbonechick2011** - I'm glad you enjoy the plot! To me the plot is the hardest thing to come up with because all I want to focus on is the interactions between the characters. Thank you for the well wishes :D

**4Evr.-A.-fAIlUrE -** I feel that Kyoya's thoughts are always negative and distant, always critical because he's always been in a spot of criticism his whole life with his own family you know? I don't think it's weird to relate to Momoku. I made her from the very truths that went on in my life along with my friends. The truths that none of us ever want to admit or want to really remember.

**Dragon of Twilight **- Yes! The timeline is very important. I can't write a romance between a bunch of 14 year olds. That would just..not fly with me. It's hard to go anywhere when writing about 14 year olds in romantic relationships. I feel like Mori is awkward you know? Nobody notices it just because he's quiet and so damn good looking.

**KuroTakahashi **- I know, a somewhat soon update on that other one. The chapter didn't have too much content because it was one of those 'half-chapters'. Sometimes I pump those out so that I give something to tide you guys over until the next update. I'm really hoping that I'll finish the story. Momoku has easily become one of my favorite characters. Believable and flawed. It's easier to love somebody when they're flawed. But don't check out my other stories. They're pretty embarrassing _

**Kiski - **You do me an honor in analyzing my character and my story. It means that my character isn't shallow, that she has enough depth that you can analyze her. It's definitely flattering in the thought that there is so much that is brought out in a fictional character that you can apply real life analysis and study to her. It's true, she does have the constant fear of being judged. The fear is amplified because the people who would do the judging are so much more 'perfect' and 'better' than her in her eyes. She feels the need to be accepted her because she believes she isn't somebody who wouldn't be accepted in the Host Club's circle. We all like to call other people 'bitchy' and 'jealous' without actually taking the time to consider the complex chain of thoughts that cause each person's reactions and actions. I think it's nice to be able to dive into somebody's head and see why she'd be so distant from somebody [Haruhi] everybody would acknowledge as a very good friend.

**Renhi** - Haha.. for the "Skin: Rice Paper" and "Heart: Tofu" I couldn't help myself with making some 'Asian' metaphors. I think they're fun. xD I'm glad you think my characters are indeed, in character!

**Mare Rose** - It's always hard to make your characters realistic because the point of OCs is usually to create somebody you've always _wanted_ to be rather than the person you are. That has always been my mistake at least. I'm trying my best to not let myself get carried away like I usually do with my stories. I don't know if I'm excellent...I'll accept the bee's knees though... ;)

**Akuma** - GOOD. I WILL PULL YOU IN MORE AND MORE UNTIL YOU CAN'T LEAVE. YOU WILL BE STUCK HERE FOREVERRRR.

**Chrislover4ever ** - Yes. Tacos make the world go round. I'm glad you loved it. I hope you continue reading :)

**Squalohaifisch** - I'm glad to hear you connected with her. That is my aim! Thank you for reading! I hope you stick with me as well~

**csiraikeb333** - Thank you darling. I hope Momoku learns that she's special in the near future as well :D. But if you think about it, how long did it take you to believe that you're special too? For me it took a very long time. And it's still something I'm working on ^^'

**Conspiring Word Addict** - Kyoya and Takashi are my favorite hosts too..if I had a reverse-harem, I would totally put them in it. xD

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"Haruhi cares for you." He broke the silence with that simple statement and I chose to delay a response by biting into my taco. I chewed it over slowly, my thoughts racing as I tried to understand what he wanted from me. Why was it Mori-senpai who was sent to come get me? Why didn't Haruhi just look for me herself if she cared so much? Or maybe she was out looking for me and that's what Mori-senpai had made that phone call earlier for.

"I know." That's really all I had to say. I did know. I probably knew better than anyone else.

"She doesn't hate you."

"I know." Why was he saying all of this? It was so unnecessary. In fact I was growing irritated with this conversation. It was as if I were being lectured.

And then we were at a standstill.

I must have said 'I know' a little too sharply because Mori-senpai had gone silent, a hint of surprise in his expression as he looked at me. I suddenly felt embarrassed and looked down, picking out a stray piece of lettuce from my half eaten taco. I was beginning to lose my appetite. Well, congratulations. I was probably the champion of making things awkward. Within a span of three sentences, I had made things awkward. I bet the Guinness Book of World Records would be mailing me a scepter and a crown any moment now.

"I didn't mean to anger you." He said and his politeness killed me. You know what super hero power I'd have if I could have any power in the world?

I'd have the power to melt through the floor. Or turn invisible. Either one would be fine.

"No..no Mori-senpai. I'm not angry...I'm sorry for being so rude. I'm just...I'm just frustrated." I admitted, running a hand through my tangled hair as I tried to figure out a way to somehow divert the conversation or internally combust.

"Why are you frustrated?" He pushed and I stared at him incredulously. Why was he pushing it? Was he just making conversation to be nice?

"Nothing..it's nothing Mori-senpai. Someone like you wouldn't understand anyway."

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_Someone like me?_

She has added that in like she hadn't been aware the words had even come out of her mouth. I was fully curious now and I wanted to push it. I wanted to ask her what 'someone like me' was and what properties did one have to have to be eligible to be 'someone like me' ? But I didn't want to make her angry or irritate her...she seemed so...volatile when talking. I didn't know what would anger her or what would comfort her. I wasn't sure which topics I was allowed to ask about or which I needed to avoid. Perhaps the the best method was to just say nothing.

But what exactly wouldn't I get? Was she calling me an idiot? She didn't seem like the type of girl to insult me for no reason. But then again, she didn't seem like the type of girl to slap Haruhi across the face.

But I wanted to know. I wanted to know why _someone like me_ just wouldn't _get it_. I really wanted to know. Momoku didn't seem like she was insulting me as she continued eating her taco. I absentmindedly watched her eat, trying to figure out what to do in this situation.

I didn't even really know why I came here.

Haruhi had said that Momoku had run off after a fight and immediately I had felt the need to go find her. She was small and fragile. If she got lost, how would she fend for herself? What if she got into trouble? Who would be responsible? Maybe I shouldn't have gone after her. Perhaps that had been the wrong decision.

I had just wanted to check up on her this morning. I had just wanted to know if she felt better since the other night. I had fully planned on returning to the hotel until Mitsukuni woke up before going back to the boat again. But one thing had led to another and here I was. Eating tacos with her. Tacos that didn't taste like anything I had ever eaten before. It was kind of addicting.

"Mori-senpai..?" I snapped out of it.

"Mm?"

"You're...you're just staring at me."

"Aah. Sorry."

That probably was uncomfortable for her. I had been silently staring at her this whole time. I hadn't really thought about it, but now that I was putting more thought into it, it probably had come off as incredibly creepy. But it wasn't my fault. Well it was, but honestly I was just thinking. I was wondering what it was I wouldn't get? Why wouldn't I be able to get it? What was it about me that wouldn't be able to get it?

"You're still...staring..did I do something wrong?" She asked timidly and again, I was snapped out of it. I had been staring again.

"Someone like me?" I found myself asking, the obsessive thought having drowned out all other thoughts in my head. Her head snapped up and she looked at me with wide eyes, surprised and embarrassed at my words. The way she turned red so quickly was pretty amazing. It was like a button you pushed, and alakazam, her face was red.

"Oh no..it's not anything bad..just, you know. It's just..I mean...you're like perfect. You know? You're one of those perfect people. Whatever, it's..whatever." She wasn't being clear and I had no clue what she was talking about. Perfect? One of those perfect people? If anybody was one of those 'perfect' people it was probably Kyouya. I had never seen that kid make a mistake, not once. She was calling _me_ perfect? I had caused her some sort of grief more than once. I also didn't even know how to carry a conversation with her. How could she think that?

"I'm not perfect." Was all I could stupidly say. She laughed.

"Hah. Right." I was suddenly uncomfortable. Me...perfect? She didn't really mean that did she? She couldn't possibly think I was _actually_ perfect could she? I felt somewhat frantic for a moment and before I knew it...I felt my own face beginning to heat up. I diverted myself by taking a sip of soda, clearing my throat and looking down.

"What did you guys fight about?" I asked quickly, trying to find a suitable question to change the conversation. She leaned her head against her hand, stirring her straw aimlessly as she blew out a sigh from her lips. She smiled wryly and gave a dry bark of a laugh before she answered.

"Honestly? Nothing. We fought about nothing." She answered and it was puzzling to me.

"Then why did you guys fight?"

"You wouldn't get it Mori-senpai. Could we...not talk about it?" She asked and again, that phrase: _"You wouldn't get it."_ echoed in my head. But I let it go...because she asked me to.

"Aah."

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By the time Takashi and Momoku had returned, Momoku's parents along with the rest of the Host Club had returned to the boat. No questions were asked as I had provided a very wonderful cover story for their disappearance. Momoku was aiding Takashi in some souvenir shopping before they left for sea. I watched as Momoku silently went to her station on the deck, helping her father untie the anchor from dock while her mother lectured to Tamaki about the importance of staying away from the more dangerous items on the boat this time around.

"Takashi! Did you get Usa-chan some souvenirs too?" Mitsukuni bounded, energetically leaping onto his back, bunny flopping about in his left arm. Takashi looked confused for a moment and as if on cue I stepped in, giving Mitsukuni a smile.

"Of course he did. We had all the souvenirs sent back to our homes so that we wouldn't clutter up the boat."

"That's wonderful! Thank you for the souvenirs Takashi!"

"Aah." He simply went along with it, questioning nothing as he accepted whatever was going on. Mitsukuni hopped off his back stuck a finger to his lips and scrunched his face as if in deep thought.

"I'm so hungry. I wonder if Momo-chan will make me a cake. I'll go ask her!" And just like that, he bounded away. I, on the other hand, was more curious about something else. I looked up at the towering boy and looked down at my clipboard, noting how little I actually I had to do for the day.

"I'm glad that you were able to find her so quickly Mori-senpai. Did you find out what actually happened between them?" I asked nonchalantly and Takashi looked down at me, blinking once before looking straight ahead.

"You wouldn't get it." Was all he said...and then he walked away.

I wouldn't get it? What could I possibly not get? I watched his retreating form and resisted the urge to throw my clipboard at the back of his head. Had Takashi just insulted my intelligent? What could he possibly understand that I couldn't? I was at the top of my class. I was in fact at the top of the school. Nobody's grades matched mine. Not even Haruhi's. So what could _he_ possibly understand that I could not?

It wasn't important.

"Alright guys! We're setting sail!" Mrs. Murayama called out and I watched as Momoku tactfully avoided Haruhi's gaze and path as they both went to their separate stations. I noted the occasional glances Haruhi gave to Momoku.

_You wouldn't get it._

Was Takashi just fucking with me? He never seemed to just fuck with anyone before.

Why would he say that?

Why wouldn't I "get it" ?

It wasn't important. I didn't care anyway. I couldn't care less about their fight or what it was about.

It was probably just one of those little cat fights women had sometimes.

Of course I wouldn't get it. Nobody understood women to begin with.

That's why I wouldn't get it.

It wasn't important anyway.

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As expected it was awkward and it was somewhat painful to be back on the boat. I knew Haruhi wanted to talk to me and it was a shame she didn't understand that I had no desire to talk to her. But while I was in the kitchen, making Honey-senpai the third cake of the day, she ambushed me, walking into the kitchen and catching me off guard.

"Hi.." She said somewhat timidly, cautious to see my reaction. The guilt that weighed on my shoulders would probably give me arthritis someday. I gave her an awkward smile and gave the batter a moment's peace as I turned to face her. I guess our meeting was inevitable. We were on a boat, it's not like I had anywhere to run to.

"Hi..." I responded in a similar fashion. And we stood there, awkward and unsure of how to proceed.

"Momoku-"

"I'm sorry. I'm...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to..you know...I'm really sorry Haruhi." I found myself babbling. An apology was due, I knew that much. But honestly, I didn't know how to apologize apart from repeating the phrase "I'm sorry" several times and occasionally dressed up with 'really' and 'so' before it. Instead of saying "I forgive you" or "it's okay", she did something much much worse. She came up to me and gathered me in her arms, hugging me with so much affection that I wished I would die.

"I'm sorry too. I don't want you to hate me. I really didn't mean for the Host Club to show up. I just wanted to hang out with you and be friends again. I'm so sorry Momoku."

Please.

Somebody shoot me.

I found myself hugging her back and for some odd reason, I felt tears coming to my eyes.

But don't get me wrong.

I didn't want to cry because I was relieved or because I was happy.

I wanted to cry because I began to hate myself a little more.

"No...you didn't do anything wrong Haruhi. I'm sorry...I just took out my frustrations on you. I'm so sorry." I said back again. It was painful. This situation was painful. I could just feel the sincerity seeping from every pore in her body. And it shamed me. It shamed me to near death. There was a part of me that did want to be friends with her again. I remembered having fun with her and genuinely enjoying my time with her. She was pretty good at pac man but I was much better at DDR. She wasn't too good at sports and neither was I so we were always picked last during gym class.

I was being silly. I should just forget about my stupid old grudges and-

"Haruhiiiii! Daddy caught a swordfish! A really big one! Come see!"

Ah. Right.

We immediately separated, standing apart before Tamaki burst into the kitchen, hands flailing like the bones had long since turned to jelly.

"Senpai, not now-"

"Come!" And he whisked her away, right out of the kitchen.

I remembered why I didn't want to be her friend.

Because everybody in the fucking world wanted to be her friend.

What was I thinking...thinking that I could be happy friends with Haruhi while everybody else in the world grabbed for her attention. Why would she ever need me to be her friend when she had so many other _wonderful_ people who wanted to be her friends? People who had money and status. People who weren't 'dirty commoners' like me. Fine, if she wanted to be friends with them, she should feel free and go ahead. But she didn't have to come and ruin my life with her bullshit.

What a complete 180 I had just done.

I more..stabbed the batter than mixed it. I continued stabbing it, annoyed with myself for almost giving in. What was I thinking, giving into Haruhi. Thinking that we could actually be friends. It was hard to be friends with somebody you hated. I know people did it. I had a few of those friends too.

I was going to stick it out. I was going to pretend that we were all good and dandy and friends again. And then when the summer ended I'd never see her again. Yeah! That was a perfect solution! Everyone did that. Migi was friends with a girl named Julie and she absolutely hated her guts. Every time they hung out, Migi would tell me all about how annoying and stupid Julie was.

The batter needed a little more...just a little more...something. I wanted it to be...not bitter. But I wanted it to have a bite. I wanted it to be...hm...just a specific taste...

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"Oh I can't wait for Momo-chan's cake. I can smell it...I wonder if it'll be done soon. Kyoya-"

"I will go check on it Honey-senpai."

"Thank you Kyo-chan!"

I pushed open the kitchen door to see Momoku hard at work, icing the cake with a rich dark brown frosting. It was smooth like oil and shined like it too. I couldn't imagine what she had actually used to make an icing like that on a boat like this. She was so wrapped up in her current duty that she hadn't noticed my presence yet. I politely rapped my knuckles against the door to get her attention. She looked up, a streak of that frosting down her left cheek which immediately irked me. That meant at some point she had touched the frosting, then her face, and now she was touching the frosting again. Somewhere in that cake had remnants of her dead, facial skin cells.

Logically, I understood that we, as humans, were constantly shedding dead skin cells...but to actually see evidence that she had touched her face and the frosting just...disturbed me.

"Oh! Hello Ootori-san. How can I help you?" She asked, flicking her head to the side in attempt to get some of the bangs out of her face. It didn't do much. I noted that a few of the strands got caught on the frosting that was on the side of her face. How could she not feel that? How could she not notice frosting on her own damn face?

"You have frosting on the left side of your face." I stated, wanting her to fix that immediately.

"Oh, oops." She wiped at her cheek with the back of her hand and instead of solving the problem, she smeared it into a larger problem. Now the frosting covered a larger surface area. She didn't seem to notice. "So, how can I help you Ootori-san?"

Ah...right, she had asked me that question.

"Honey-senpai was getting a bit antsy about his cake."

"Oh..yeah I'm just about done. I'll be right out with it."

"You still have frosting on your face." I found myself saying. Why couldn't that girl just wipe it off correctly like a civilized human?

"Hah..oops. I'll just get this cake out to Honey-senpai then go wash up." She said, already having turned back to the cake to put some finishing touches on the decorating. I didn't understand what was so difficult about wiping off the frosting now. All she had to do was grab a napkin and wipe her face. Not wipe her face with the back of her hand. I had a handkerchief somewhere. I dug into my backpocket, trying to reach for it. Nope. Wrong pocket. I put down my clip board on the counter and reached into my other pocket, grasping the cloth successfully.

"Here-"

I had just pulled the handkerchief out of my pocket when she walked past me and out the door with the cake, leaving me with my hand held out like a fool; offering a handkerchief to the thin air.

What a rude girl. Didn't she see I was going to give her something? Rude _and_ unobservant.

I grabbed my clipboard off the counter with my other hand and went out to give her the handkerchief.

_Can't even wipe her face properly._

She was already with Mitsukuni, leaning down and placing her immaculate cake onto the table in front of him. I walked towards her and was about five feet away with my handkerchief in hand when something mildly unexpected happened.

In one smooth movement, Takashi Morinozuka reached up with a handkerchief in his own hand and gently brought it to her face. As if tending to a child, he wiped off the frosting from her face, the very palm of his hand almost being the size of her entire head. She had frozen in place, her eyes wide and looking absolutely starstruck. Apparently she was a girl who required very little to get her attention. Her face beat red and her expression that of somebody who had just woken up after a five year coma, she snapped straight up.

"A-ah..th-thank you...ah..uh...Mori-senpai...uh. I'll...I'll go wash that for you." She quickly grabbed the handkerchief and spun around only to see me.

I suddenly felt...

Embarrassed?

She looked at me and then glanced down at my hand in which I held my handkerchief. Without thinking, I quickly shoved that hand into my pocket, hiding the handkerchief from her view.

I felt like I had been caught in an act that I never wanted to be caught in. For some reason I felt embarrassed that she had seen that I was about to offer her my handkerchief...especially when Takashi had already given her his. For some reason, this bothered me. I couldn't explain why it embarrassed me. It just did.

I pretended that it didn't.

She pretended like she hadn't seen.

And walked right past me with her head down.

And then...and then...

I felt somewhat irritated. Not somewhat. Incredibly.

Why would I be embarrassed? I had no reason to be embarrassed. I was being a polite gentleman, about to offer a dirty girl a nice handkerchief to wipe her dirty little face. Why would she make me feel embarrassed? How dare she? How could that little commoner have any sort of influence on me, on _me_, to make me feel embarrassed? No. Fuck that. Fuck her. I didn't need to be embarrassed about anything. In irritation I pushed my glasses back up, clearing my throat as I quickly glanced around to see if anybody else had witnessed what had happened. Takashi was staring blankly at the table and Mitsukuni was thoroughly preoccupied with his cake. Good. Glad to have let the incident wash away. It wasn't even an incident. It was something that was completely unimportant.

_I'm just feeling tired._

That was it. I was just a little tired. I knew I got a bit cranky when tired.

I was just tired.

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I had to splash water onto my face. Cold water. Ice cold water.

_Oh. My. God._

The very memory of his hand on my face felt like it had been burned onto my skin. Takashi Morinozuka had touched my face.

God.

I was so embarrassed.

And I was so thrilled.

I was embarrassed because the amount of frosting that had come off in the handkerchief was mildly shocking. But I was thrilled because had it not been there...Takashi Morinozuka would have never touched my face.

More cold water. I needed more cold water. My face was burning up.

He was looking right at me. His hand was holding my face, cupping my cheek as he was looking right into my eyes. Oh lord those eyes...that look...

More cold water.

And then...and then there was that other thing.

Kyoya. Kyoya Ootori. I saw him. I saw him holding a handkerchief too. But he had quickly hid it into his pocket. What had that been all about?

Was he going to offer me one too?

Nah. No way. He was probably using it to wipe his glasses.

Oh but Mori-senpai.

The way he looked at me. It was like...it was like he...he liked me. I dared to dream. Just a little bit. He wouldn't just do that for any girl now, would he? I mean...it's not like he went around wiping chocolate frosting off of girls' faces. It's not like...he just did that for _anyone_. Right? Right?

No, he was just being polite. He probably thought I wasn't aware that I had a giant streak of frosting on my face. Granted I wasn't aware that I had had _that_ much frosting on my face...but Kyoya had definitely pointed it out to me seconds before.

But but but...this meant that Mori-senpai didn't hate me. This meant that he at least sort of liked me.

That was a victory in itself.

He didn't hate me. Mori-senpai didn't hate me!

He even touched my face!

I smiled as I touched the now clean handkerchief. It was so soft (still wet) and smooth. I had never felt cloth like this before. It was silk..I think it was silk. I wasn't really too sure how silk felt. But I figured if anything was silk...this would be it.

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I guess I was in a daze for the rest of the day, my thoughts constantly going back to that one moment. To me, nothing else was better. I didn't even care that Hikaru told me how he didn't like the way I made dinner because it was so sloppy. I didn't even care that my parents didn't stand up for me, instead, they laughed it off and told me I should take more care in preparing dinner next time. It didn't matter. I was so happy. I had my highlight of the day. And it was definitely making the rest of my day.

"Ah! Momoku! Here, I just finished doing some of the boys laundry. Take these fresh bed sheets to their rooms. I think they're all watching a movie in the common room, so you can just go ahead and change the sheets for them."

"Yes mother."

Psh. Nobody invited _me_ to go see a movie. I bet they invited Haruhi too. Whatever. I still had Mori-senpai's handkerchief in my pocket. Maybe it was a little creepy of me to be keeping it in there this whole time...but nobody would ever know. So it'd be my little secret anyway. When I would give it back to Mori-senpai I would just pretend that I had forgotten I had even had it in the first place. Maybe, if I just never brought it up, Mori-senpai would forget I even had it and I'd get to keep it.

_That would be so awesome..._

I boldly shoved the door open with my back as my arms were preoccupied with the bedsheets I was carrying, confident that everybody was in the common room, watching a movie.

So when I turned around to see somebody undoing his tie with the first few buttons of his collared shirt undone, I nearly dropped everything I was carrying in my hands.

"Kyo-Ootori-san! Sorry, I didn't know...I thought you...I thought you were watching a movie with the others..." He smiled politely and buttoned up his shirt, though he did continue undoing his necktie.

"No worries. I actually decided to sit this movie out. They're watching a horror movie and those were never quite my taste."

I wondered, was he-

"And no, it's not because I'm afraid of them. They're just very predictable and droll." I knew it. He was a mind reader. The Shadow King strikes again.

"Ah...yeah...I guess they do become redundant after a while. Would you mind if I..uh just...changed your sheets for you? Mother just finished the laundry and uh..yeah." Was I rambling? I tended to be nervous whenever around Kyoya, no matter how courteous he was to me. He didn't turn away from the mirror as he slid his tie off, methodically folding it in his hands as he did so.

"Please, feel free. I much prefer clean sheets."

"Okay."

It was kind of weird how in my school, boys always stunk. Like really, whenever I had to sit next to a boy in class, he _never_ smelled good. They always smelled like feet...or sweat...or like BO...just general boy smell. It never smelled good. But as I changed Kyoya's bed sheets, it smelled very strongly of boy...but not...bad. It was more like some sort of fresh soap with a mixture of light cologne and shampoo. It was a clean smell...but it was definitely a boy smell. I liked it. It smelled nice. It was almost a shame to put down the new bedsheets that had a neutral odor.

I was putting back the blankets on top of the bed when Kyoya finally turned away from the mirror, apparently done with his nightly grooming, and sat down at his bedside table to his laptop. He seemed to pay me no mind which was just fine with me. But in the middle of his typing and as I was about done with the blankets he started to talk to me.

"I see things are settled between you and Haruhi now." Was that a question? Or was that a statement?

"Uh..yeah...yeah I guess..yeah. We're fine." God. Did I always have to sound like an idiot? but in all fairness, the topic was an uncomfortable one...but I guess he was just trying to make small talk. Maybe this was my cue to leave. I quickly placed the pillows back, but Kyoya seemed to pursue his uh...small talk.

"Care to enlighten me as to why you'd hit Haruhi?" He asked and the boldness of the question was incredibly unexpected. I was actually at a loss for words. Of course. Why didn't I remember something like this? Somehow he knew as well. He probably came to the boat early morning and saw her face too. And of course he'd be protective of Haruhi. They all were. She was their fucking princess after all.

I wasn't sure how my thought process had so quickly gone from shock to bitterness. It probably wasn't normal. I shook my head, trying to clear it of my stupid thoughts.

"It was just a stupid fight. It was about nothing really." I mumbled, gathering the rest of the bedsheets to go to the other rooms, but Kyoya closed his laptop, the lid making a somewhat menacing 'click' sound. How the sound of a laptop clicking shut was menacing I didn't know, but it sort of reminded me of the click sound a gun made when you cocked it. In fact, the very movement seemed to carry the same meaning. I'm pretty sure it meant "don't move". So I froze, feeling immediately nervous. Perhaps I should just run out of the room.

But again, it was as if the Shadow King read my mind. He stood up and took off his glasses, walking around his room as if just wandering aimlessly while he wiped his lenses. But he definitely wasn't just taking a casual walk around his room. He had positioned himself so that if I were to attempt to leave the room, I'd have to pass him and ask him to move aside. He was doing it on purpose. He was blocking my way. Was I being paranoid?

Maybe I was being paranoid. I was probably just being paranoid. Yes I was just being paranoid.

"But it wasn't nothing. You see, Haruhi is one of the hosts of the Host Club and anything that happens to her affects the business of the Host Club. I wouldn't appreciate her losing clients when the school time rolls around again because she's feeling moody because one of her friends decided to have a fight over...nothing."

It was a trap. I wasn't being paranoid. I was totally right.

And...what?

Was he telling me..that because of me I would cause his Host Club business to lose money? Was that what he was saying? Was that why he was prying?

Seriously?

Seriously?

What the fuck dude?

"Well rest assured, I won't ever lay another hand on one of your precious...assets, ever again. Now if you'll excuse me I have other rooms to-"

"But I'd like to ensure that. If you'd discuss the cause of the fight, we can find the solution so that the issue never repeats itself."

What?

_What?_

Why was he pushing so hard on this topic? It's not like he actually cared about my personal issues. It's not like I made it my mission to follow Haruhi around and backhand her at every breath she took. It's not like I started _any_ fights with his Host Club members. They treated me like their fucking servant and I was as compliant as a slave with a gun to her head. In fact, I was getting indignant. It was none of his business.

"How about I give it to you in writing that the issue will never repeat itself? Will that do Ootori-san?" I didn't mean for my words to come out with that sharp bitterness, but Kyoya seemed unaffected. He grinned the devil's grin. The one that looked sweet but dripped of absolute evil.

"An oral explanation would be more than enough."

"I bet it would." I was slightly pissed off now. This was none of his damn business. Why did he keep pushing it? I moved forward to leave, but as if anticipating my movement, he simply took three steps backwards and his back was against the door. He seemed casual enough, finally putting his glasses back onto his face and leaning back comfortably with his hands in his pockets. He acted as if he were simply lounging on the door-but I knew better. He was blocking it. He was stopping me from leaving. My heart started to beat a little faster. I was beginning to get scared.

But I felt more angry than scared.

"I'm not asking much of you, I'm merely asking for an explanation. Now if you would be so kind."

"If _you_ would be so kind, Ootori-san. It's none of your business. I have to get to the other-"

"But you see, it is my business as Haruhi is part of the Host Club, and the Host Club is my business."

He wasn't giving up. My heart started to beat even faster.

"Leave me alone. Let me pass-"

"Then simply, answer the question."

"It's none of your business-"

"But it is-"

"It's not! Move-"

"All you have to do is provide an explanation-"

"Move!"

"Shouting won't get you anywhere-"

"Move!"

"Like I said-"

"God damn it _move!_"

"Don't be childish now-"

"NNNGARGH!" I tweaked then and ran at him, throwing my body against him to forcibly shove him down and aside, my heart pounding and my mind now racing as I just wanted to frantically get out of this room.

But you see.

I'm kind of short. I'm kind of small.

So when I attempted to body slam him, it didn't particularly work. In fact, it all played out quite pathetically. He had caught me by the sides of my arms, pinning my arms to my sides as he held me there, his grip way stronger than I could hope to fight. But it didn't really stop me from trying. I struggled, wiggled and attempted to scratch at his hands which kept my arms strictly pinned to my sides. When I attempted to kick him he quickly spun us around, inverting our positions so that I was now against the door with one of his legs between mine to prevent me from actually landing any kicks.

He was silent throughout the ordeal, patiently waiting until I stopped my struggling and dwindled to nothing but a defeated slump. For some reason there were hot tears burning in my eyes as I stood there, staring blankly at his chest as I listened to the beat of my heart echo in my ears. His grip loosened on my arms, knowing that I wasn't going to attempt to scratch him or hit him...or attack in any sort of way.

"Why are you so upset?" He asked.

_I don't know. I don't know. I don't fucking know._

I stayed silent.

"Why did you get so upset with Haruhi? She doesn't even know herself."

_Because I hate her._

"I don't know." Was what I answered.

"Yes you do."

"No-"

"I don't feel like repeating this all over. Why were you so upset with Haruhi?"

_Because I hate her. Because I hated her. Because I still hate her._

"Because I hate her."

At my words I felt his hands tighten slightly on my arms. It wasn't the answer he was expecting.

"Why?" He still demanded more from me.

"I don't know."

"Momoku-"

"I just...I don't know..I just..." I didn't know how to finish. I didn't know how to finish. No, I knew how to finish. I just didn't want to finish.

"You just _what_?"

"Leave me alone. You wouldn't get it. You just...wouldn't get it." Was all I could think of.

At my words, his hands gripped even more tightly to the point where it was beginning to hurt. I looked up then, but the expression on his face was absolutely unreadable. But his hands told me enough. My words had just angered him. Angered him a considerable amount.

"I wouldn't get it? _What _exactly wouldn't I get?"

"Nothing..you just..you just wouldn't get it. Please, just leave it alone."

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"_You just...wouldn't get it."_

Now this commoner...this stupid little commoner was insulting me? Was this a giant fucking joke? Was she in cohorts with Takashi now? No, that was giving this little brat way too much credit.

She looked up at me with eyes brimming with tears, the tears in her left eyes already having broken the dam and trailing down her face. If I had any compassion for a woman's tears perhaps I would have loosened my grip-but I didn't. I had seen enough of women tears in my life to know that it only meant manipulation. I didn't give a shit about her tears. Let her cry. Let this little brat bawl.

"And just _why_ wouldn't I get it?" My voice was still calm but I was already in a position I didn't want to be. I was pushing for something. I was actually putting in some sort of effort to get something. It had started off as nothing with Takashi's little comment...but it had resided in my thoughts, festering like an open sore until I couldn't ignore it. And here I was. Here I was, holding a girl the size of Mitsukuni against a door, squeezing her arms and struggling to keep my own cool as I held her there. I was unable to actually let her go. I was pretty fucking enraged. And it took nearly everything I had to keep myself in check. My entire body was tense as I forced myself to look cool and collected, but her expression told me that she knew otherwise. She was scared. She looked almost terrified of me.

But I still couldn't let her go.

I had already gotten to this point.

"_Why._ Just. _Why_. Wouldn't I get it?" I asked slowly. My voice sounded calm. My voice sounded as if I were asking for the time. But it didn't soothe her. Her eyes were wide and unblinking, as if expecting me to attack her at any moment.

"Because...because you're not me. Because you're not like me. You're nothing like me. Somebody like you wouldn't understand. You're perfect. You're one of them. You're just like her. How could you possibly understand what it was like to understand my point of view?" She answered my question and only brought up new ones. I didn't understand her answer. She had just called me perfect. She had just compared me to Haruhi. If she knew Haruhi at all-hell, there was no way anyone would ever compare me to Haruhi Fujioka. We were on opposite spectrums.

"What are you talking about?" I was becoming calmer now that she was actually starting to answer me.

"You wouldn't understand why I hate her...you wouldn't understand because you're in that same fucking world as her. You've achieved what you wanted. You didn't have to sit underneath everyone else and take all of their shit. You've _never_ once taken anyone's shit. I hate her because we started in the same shit hole. We went to the same shit schools in the same shit neighborhood. I even had an advantage. My mother never passed away and was actually around to raise me. Her mother passed away and her father came home late every night from work. But she got out of it. I watched her get that scholarship. I watched her leave me. I watched as she earned the life I wanted. That was the worst part. She _earned_ it. It was never handed to her. She worked for it because she wanted it. I wanted it just as badly, but I just wasn't good enough. And now I have to have it rubbed in my face for an entire fucking summer."

She paused, her tears flowing freely now. They were sincere tears. She wasn't trying to get anything from me. She was crying because she was hurt.

She was crying because she was frustrated.

"I have to watch six handsome boys from wealthy families dote on her like she were last diamond on earth. But I don't have to just watch. I have to dote on her too. Even worse, I have to dote on the boys who are doting on her. I have to cook your food. I have to wash your clothes and change your fucking bedsheets. I have to make sure none of you get hurt or else I get in trouble for it. I have to deal with all of your fucking bullshit. I have to deal with Tamaki-senpai losing thousands of dollars in fish with a careless push of a button and I can't even yell at him. I have to deal with Hikaru making snide comments at me and Kaoru pretending not to hear. I have to deal with Honey-senpai asking me to bake him a cake at least 8 times a day. I have to deal with you looking at me like I'm not worth the dirt in the soles of your goddamn shoe. I hate Haruhi because she's here. I hate Haruhi because she brought you guys here. I hate Haruhi for showing me everything she has that I don't. I hate Haruhi for not just leaving me alone."

"Momoku-"

"I hate Haruhi because I want to be her. I hate her because I can't be her. I can't even compare. I don't even come close."

"We're all different-"

"She's better than me. So much so that it's painful to acknowledge, much less witness it day and night. I hate her so much. I hate her so fucking much. I just want to be her. I want to be just half of what Haruhi is. I could be happy with that."


	9. No One Knows What it's Like Continuation

**Apologies for the super pathetically short update, but this was just supposed to be a topper for my last chapter. I actually wanted to address all of you, my readers. I wanted to thank you for loyally reviewing and thank you guys for favoriting and putting me on your alerts lists. Every alert brings me joy!**

**I just wanted to say that I will never do the "30 reviews or else I won't update!" thing, but I do appreciate your reviews. It's your reviews that support me and keep me going for my fanfiction and it's your reviews that make me want to try harder and write faster. So even if it's just a sentence or two, I would appreciate if you let me know how you felt about my updates because it means a lot to me and I take everyone's criticism into consideration. This is a FANfiction after all. I want to cater to the fans while keeping my own originality. Together we can make a very fun story :D**

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I let her go, unable to actually respond to her words.

She wiped her face with her sleeve and gathered up the bedsheets before fleeing my room.

She was wrong.

I got it.

I got it way more than she knew.

I had been her. I had been her in a different situation, in a different place. But I had been her.

I had witnessed my brothers achieve perfection, in academics and in business, and my father had told me that whatever I did, it wouldn't be enough because they had already done it. Top of my class? They already did it. Business savvy? They already were. Charming, handsome and charismatic-they already were all that. They were already perfect...and somehow, if I wanted any piece of the family empire, I would have to surpass them. There was nothing expected of me at that point, I was to watch as my brothers took over what I could never have.

But unlike Momoku, I had somehow beat the system.

But I understood where she was. I understood way too well.

But I wasn't going to tell her that. I wasn't going to admit that at some point in my life, I had felt as weak as she did right now. I was going to take that bit of memory with me to the goddamn grave.

I felt...

I felt...

I felt bad for her.

_Good luck Momoku._

She was going to need it.

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	10. Preparing for a Party

**Weeeeeeeeeellll . ** Do you guys wanna know why I haven't updated in a while? Because I was doing finals...and...and...**GRADUATING**. Yes. That's right. I graduated. I wish I could say I graduated from High School but...bahahaha..I'm...not that young anymore. And I had to go be an adult and get a career/job so that occupied my life for a good chunk... Yes. I have to be all adult now. Er...financially at least. Hah. It's funny, I have several friends still in college who are older than me. I would like to still be a student and live on ramen and freak out about finals. But hey! I'm not complaining. In this terrible economy I've still managed to get an actual job that has a legitimate career. I just wanted you guys to know this so that you don't think I'm some housewife with loads of time, or some student who only has homework and bullies to worry about. I will definitely do my best to update in a more timely manner, but I gotta pay the bills ;)

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**Kiski - **You probably should kidnap this girl. You should be her...Batman..or something. I can't think of anything clever to say at the moment so you'll have to excuse me. His perfectionism in itself is his fault for sure, but it's one of those faults nobody notices as a fault until you really back that person into a tight spot. I mean, how many people ever deny Kyouya what he wants? Nobody ever just says "no". They tend to just go along with what he says because...well because it's convenient and generally the best way to go. He's so used to controlling that when finally a situation arises that he's not in control he has a bit of a freak out. I like it. xD

**4Evr.-A.-fAIlUrE - **You keep crying at my story and you'll start worrying people! And you're totally right, we can't change to fit somebody else' mold. Don't forget to take pride in yourself and who you are. Even your faults can be charming! (just don't be psycho)

**Tbonechick2011 (Jazzy)** - Yes! I'm glad you get to see how Momoku really feels. Sometimes your most honest feelings are the hardest to actually admit... I also take enjoyment in irritating Kyoya. It's like one of those rare delicacies you can only find once in a blue moon.

**Linda Chicana ** - I love your review. It sounds like you're making me a movie trailer for my story. I don't know what on earth is going to happen! I'm just winging it, chapter to chapter.

**Rein Walker** - If it's not depressing then I haven't done my job! Thank you for reading, I shall continue it indeed~

**Dragon of Twilight - ** It's true, he doesn't like pushing people because he's actually respectful. I have to be careful with Momo because though it's true that she's a girl who doesn't like to tell her feelings until she's really forced to, I don't want to make it seem like a good thing. I don't want to make the idea of wanting to be pushed and pushed for her thoughts to be something romantic because I **hate hate hate hate hate** when people do that, especially women. When you ask "what's wrong?" and they respond "nothing". And then they get angry later on because you left the issue alone. Etc...etc.. I'm getting off topic now.

**Kuro Takahashi - **Mori is totally more likeable. He doesn't carry a holier-than-thou aura...or an aura of general evil. The whole understanding her emotions through her baking will soon play an important part in the story! I actually had the idea as the basis for the entire story. So that theme will be showing up again and again. Just make sure to keep reading! :D

**The Midnight Shadow Star - ** I want those super powers like every other day of my life. The amount of times I've said terribly awkward things makes me cringe and die a little on the inside.

**Andie-san** - Thank you! I take pride in trying to keep the characters in character! I would hate to have them become out of character..then the story just loses its appeal. Thank you for reading!

**Smirk 'N' Sweat Drop - **Your review warms my heart :)

**KaraNippi - **Any review to me is a wonderful review, short or not. Thank you so much for reviewing, I hope you continue reading! I'm glad you enjoy my OC, I enjoy her too ^^'

**The Shadows Writer** - You better hold onto that hope. It's all we've got _ I'll make sure to pack tissues for you the next time I think I'll be having a sad update.

**Sakura Ichigo Morihiko - **Oh dear, don't get depressed or sad thinking about it. I hope you continue reading my story because my main point is to prove that 'normalcy' is just as beautiful as 'perfection'. You're beautiful because you have feelings. You're beautiful because you have your own thoughts and your own sentiments. You're beautiful simply because you're you. I know this is a tired motto that people try to play off frequently, but I really believe this to be true. A pretty face and better grades won't help you click with people. It's all you. It'd be a shame to lose somebody like you, even though I may not know you, I know that it'd still be a shame.

**C'est La Vie Mon Amour - **A deity of writing? /keelsover Oh that is too much flattery for my wee little heart to handle. I'm glad you're enjoying my story this much! I can only hope to make each update worth that squeal ;)

**kate - **I'm glad it's your favorite ouran fanfic. I'm sorry that it's been forever since a new chapter came out...I've been busy. But I definitely have been feeling reeeeeeeal guilty about it! I'll do my best to update faster for my fans! /pageantgirlwave

**KizunaCho - **Originality is what I aim to do! Thank you very much! I hope you look forward to future chapters as well.

**Anonymous101 - **I'm glad you agree. We totally don't want to admit our more selfish feelings. I'll update asap!

**Bloodcherry** - Aw thank you! It's dramatic but not in the unbelievable dramatic I think. As in, she's not being 'almost raped' in every other chapter, not having fifty boys fight over her at the same time and she's not being the target of some international crime ring. It's just dramatic because you actually get a feel for what she's feeling right? Thank you again for your wonderful compliments, they make me all tingly~

**Hikari** - Would it be greedy of me to ask for _7_ flying-ninja-unicorns?

**CrashingUpward - **This story loves you!

**Aly91 - **I will continue indeed. I'm glad you feel for her. I think the thing is that she's not intentionally needy and not outwardly whiny. Like she doesn't deliberately act out because she wants attention. You only know she's whiny because you're allowed to listen inside of her head. I know if someone listened inside of my head that person would probably think I'm the biggest brat on the planet.

**MinnieMouse8990 - **Phew, I'm glad you didn't end up hating her. I hope it gets more views in the future...but even if it doesn't, that's okay. My current readers are so wonderful and leave such amazing reviews that it's all worth it to me in the end. Thank you so much for enjoying my story, I hope you continue to enjoy it! (maybe even..spread the word around...)

**Celestial Moon Lady** - Oh yes, it was THAT short. xD Thank you for reviewing anyway. All feedback to me is important so that I know if I'm heading in the wrong direction with my story or not. Thank you for being my reader!

**SuperCuteTomomi - **It is a bit bitter isn't it? Hehehe...I'm glad you find it addicting. I shall update and give ye more!

**nysroxx17 - **Thank you so much...well I aim for this story to not become discontinued. I will do my best to continue it till the very end!

**katie - **Team Mori? xD I shall add your vote to the tally I keep in my secret journal of secrets.

**Squalohaifisch - **Eggserent. That's exactly what the super uber duber short update was meant to do. I shall make a much longer update!

**Renhi - **It's definitely not wimpy to not be able to hit somebody. If anything, it says something about your character. You're a sweet person. I'm glad you can relate to her. I want her to be as real as possible.

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_4:00AM._

The clock blinked _4:00AM._

Why was I awake...at _4:00AM_ ?

The sun wasn't even up yet and the light from the windows looked like the appropriate lighting for an offshore murder scene.

In two hours, that's 6:00AM if you're not too good with simple arithmetic, the alarm would go off and start our day. In two hours, Haruhi and I would get up, rub the sleepy dust from our eyes and hastily wash our faces in lukewarm water before getting dressed in our heavy suits. At around 6:15AM we would have a quick breakfast and at 6:25AM we'd bustle out onto the deck to start unpacking the fishing lines. It would be at least another two hours from then that we'd see any of the Ouran Host Club members. Waking up at the crack of dawn wasn't exactly their specialty. But I couldn't really hold that against them, it was barely my specialty.

In fact...

I reached over and unplugged the digital clock and plugged it back in. The blinking 12:00 greeted me.

I didn't know why I did that.

My head was blank as I stared at the blinking number, trying to figure out why I would do such a thing.

I didn't want the alarm to go off at 6:00AM.

Alright. I got that.

Why didn't I want the alarm to go off at 6:00AM?

Because I didn't want to get out of bed.

Why didn't I want to get out of bed?

_Hmm...good question._

I rolled over in my bed and stared up at the bottom of the top bunk upon which Haruhi lay. I was tired, but I couldn't go back to sleep.

"_**Because I hate her."**_

Oh God.

That happened.

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck._

I groaned and pulled the blankets over my face, half-heartedly attempting to smother myself underneath them as my mind (against all of my will) replayed last night inside my head. The scene played back and forth like a broken record, the inside of my skull acting as a screen as my thoughts projected onto it. I watched in mute horror as I spilled the most tender parts of my heart to the Shadow King. I watched him holding me there like I was nothing but a rag doll. I watched how pathetically I acted in front of him.

.

_._

Fuck me. Fuck my life.

That's why I wanted to stay in bed. Because I most certainly did not want to face the day. Today. I needed one of those remote controllers that let me skip ahead a few days. Maybe even a few years. If I could just sweep the whole debacle under the rug...

"_**Why wouldn't I get it?"**_

_Please, for the love of all things holy...get it all out of my head._

Brilliant idea, what if I were to slam my head against the bars of the bunk bed again? Just knock myself unconscious for the rest of the day?

It actually didn't sound like that bad of an idea.

I groaned again and willed the images to go away. I was going to go back to sleep. I was going to sleep in. And my mother was probably going to give me some lecture or another, but that was alright with me. For now, I was going to sleep and I was going to deal with the aftermath later. I was going to go back to sleep and I was going to have awesome dreams. Yes. That's what I was going to do.

I was going to dream.

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"Oh no! Momoku we overslept! The power must've gone out for a second or something and reset the clock!" Was what I was greeted with in the morning. It wasn't possible. did that many hours pass by already? I swore it was just a few seconds ago that I had fallen back asleep. Nnnrgh.

Reluctantly I got up and feigned surprise.

"What could have possibly happened to our alarm clock." I asked dryly, rubbing my eyes, feeling as if I was recovering from having just drowned somewhere. My head felt like it was still swimming five leagues below sea level and my brain was still trying to catch up with my body.

"Momoku! Haruhi! The lines aren't set and it's already 8:36AM! Did you guys oversleep?" I heard my mother's shout from the other side of the door and I winced. The extra hours of sleep hadn't been worth it. It didn't even feel like I had gotten extra sleep.

"Yeah! Sorry Mrs. Murayama! Our alarm didn't go off!"

"Hurry up girls!"

"Eh Tono...we got up earlier than your beloved Haruhi." I heard one of the twins say from outside the door.

No. The extra sleep wasn't worth it at all.

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As she walked onto the deck she purposefully avoided my gaze and being around my general area. She had mumbled a tired 'good morning' to everyone but me and her purposeful avoidance of me went unnoticed by everyone but me. Stupid girl didn't even know how to properly pretend as if nothing had ever happened. I sipped my coffee in silence, choosing to ignore her as well as I went over the docket. We were supposed to land tomorrow, but I didn't much feel like waiting until then. I would convince the Murayamas to land tonight. I had a certain doctor to visit on the shores of Sendai.

My father was going to be dictating a $30,000,000 deal this afternoon and would require my electronic signature to complete it.

That girl was so sloppy in the way she organized her lines. Though she obviously knew what she was doing, she could at least made her station a little neater.

The deal was going to be for the new x-ray technology that reduced the amount of radiation exposed to the patient while providing even better imagery and scans. If we could boast about less radiation our clients would eat it up with their bare hands.

Now that fool of a girl was pulling in rope without gloves. Proper women should never defile their hands like that.

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"Momo-chan! Momo-chan! Your mommy said you can take a break to help me with a cake!" His voice cried from across the deck. I wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand, unable to stifle a smile as the blond haired boy came bounding up towards me. A break. A break. Bah. I found myself smiling as he threw his arms around my sweaty body, not seeming to care about my gross state as he did so. He smiled back. He was always smiling at me.

"So will you help me with a cake Momo-chan?"

"Of course Honey-senpai."

"Good. Because today is a special day. I'll tell you in secret later...come on Momo-chan let's go-"

"Honey-senpai...I think I need to wash up first. I don't think I should touch food like this." I said as I peeled him off of me. He jumped up and clapped his hands together and nodded.

"Okay! Usa-chan and I will wait for you in the kitchen. We have a surprise to tell you!"

"Okay. Can't wait."

Surprise? I bet. What would the surprise be? That he actually wanted _two_ cakes instead of one?

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"Hikaru and Kaoru-chan's birthday is tomorrow! We're throwing a party at midnight so we have to make two cakes! One for Hikaru-chan and one for Kaoru-chan!"

Ahahahahahah.

I started giggling uncontrollably as Honey-senpai told me this, unable to ignore the coincidence of the situation.

"Haha...of course Honey-senpai..of course.."

"I'm glad you're excited about this too! Kyou-chan's going to ask your parents to land tonight instead of tomorrow so that we can celebrate it somewhere nice. I bet they're going to love your cakes!"

I bet.

"I wonder what kinds of cake we should make..." I mumbled to myself, tying on my apron before helping Honey-senpai tie on his own. As I helped him into it I paused for a moment, wondering what felt so out of place?

"Hey Honey-senpai?"

"Mm?"

"Where's Mori-senpai?" I asked, now realizing what was out of place. It was a rare thing to see the midget without his gigantic counterpart. He turned to me and smiled widely.

"Takashi is taking your spot on the deck so that you can help me with these cakes!" He exclaimed and I shook my head, wondering what exactly the relationship was between these two. I handed him the ingredients to mix in the bowl, giving him some basic busy work as I mulled over the game plan. For Kaoru I figured I'd make a nice red velvet cake, not too heavy and not too sweet, something that didn't make a bold statement while still being delicious. Or maybe I would just make a damn cake. It's not like I really knew what I was doing honestly. I dictated the measurements to Honey-senpai, taking out another cookbook to look for a separate recipe for Hikaru. I probably could just bake two of the same cake, but I wanted to make him a different one. I didn't want to have his cake taste anything like Kaoru's. Why? I don't know. I just didn't.

"Honey-senpai, don't mix it so hard, you'll spill everywhere." I said lightly and he nodded, taking his vigorous whisking down a few notches. As I continued flipping through the recipe book, I didn't find anything suitable. I wanted Hikaru's cake to be bitter. I wanted it to be sour. But I still wanted it to taste good. Hrm.

"I think I'm all done Momo-chan! Now what?"

"Hold on, let me taste." Now I know I know, salmonella, raw eggs..blah blah blah. So just don't ever do this at home. I dipped a finger into the batter and licked it, tasting it just to make sure.

"Honey-senpai hand me the brown sugar and melted butter please." As I fixed up the batter I still thought about Hikaru's cake. Maybe he shouldn't get a regular cake at all. Maybe instead, he'd get a cheesecake.

"Should I put it into the oven now?"

"No, not yet. I want the batter to get to room temperature first. Honey-senpai, do you know if Hikaru likes cheesecake?" I asked and he posed thoughtfully, putting his hand under his chin and leaning on one side as if posing for a picture. Did he always keep up this loli-shota thing? Was there some private room in which he acted like...like a 17 year old? Was he 17? He must be...

"I think so. Probably. I've never asked! We'll have two cakes anyway so if he doesn't like it he can eat the other one right?"

"Right. Okay Honey-senpai, I need to get cream."

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It's funny how sometimes when you dread something, the day can either go by like flashes of instances or like one slow crawl through quicksand. Mine was a mixture of both. I don't remember what I did while I was making the cakes, but I knew that one was in the oven and the other in the fridge. I don't remember who suggested it, but I was also now walking across the boat deck with a tray of lemonade in my hands. Hikaru and Kaoru were bickering with Tamaki as to how to correctly reel in a fishing line so I passed them, not really wanting to 'interrupt' their important conversation. Kyouya was tap-tap-tapping away at his laptop...he seemed busy too. Best not to disturb him.

So I found myself heading over to Mori, who was successfully tossing over a buoy to mark where one of our fishing cages were.

"Hi Mori-senpai...I thought you'd like a glass of lemonade...thanks for taking my place." I said, not really delivering the spiel as I had imagined it in my head moments before. Should I have thanked him and then offered him the lemonade? Or maybe I should have smiled wider. Or maybe I should have not smiled at all...what if there was something in between my teeth?

"Aah." He replied. I was actually getting somewhat decent at interpreting these 'Aahs'. Sometimes they meant 'I don't know' and sometimes they meant 'yes'. But this one meant 'Thank you, it's alright'. I dared to smile again, taking his empty glass as he handed it to me. For a moment I lingered, not particularly wanting to leave him and racking my brain for something else to say to him. It wouldn't hurt to make conversation right? Maybe this was a step. I was going to initiate conversation and-

"Are your cakes coming along well?"

"Oh huh? Oh yeah! Yes. Um. Yes they are."

Another pause for uncomfortable silence. I lost my train of thought and scratched the back of my head, fluffing up my hair a bit to distract myself as I tried to remember what I was going to say.

"Thanks for um...covering my spot so that I could help Honey-senpai."

"Aah."

I was curious as to why his monosyllabic answers didn't frustrate me. Maybe it was because everyone else on this boat seemed to talk too much. But I figured it was because I understood that he wasn't being short with me, but in that instead, he didn't have much to say. I felt that he was like me. I felt that he, like me, didn't know what to say. I smiled to myself and looked to the ground, shuffling away to return the rest of the glasses to the kitchen.

Now don't get me wrong, I knew nothing would evolve between Mori and myself, but you have to understand that dreams and unacknowledged hopes are what get some teenage girls through in life. On the forefront of my brain I understood and accepted that Mori was from a different world and would date much better girls from _his_ world. But stored away in the back, waaaaay way back, were hopes and dreams. I could dream about Mori liking me. I could dream about how inside he felt these weird feelings too. I hoped that maybe there'd be a chance he'd like me in that special way. I hoped that he thought of me in that special way. And then we'd live happily ever after and I'd grow scarlet carsons on my window sill or something.

These are the thoughts that ran through my head as I walked back to the kitchen.

"It's quite rude of you to offer lemonade to everyone else and not me."

"Oh! Ootori-san!" I nearly dropped the tray in surprise when he addressed me. But in contrast to me, he was like a stone, calmly reading the news on his laptop when he addressed me. I guess operation Avoid Kyouya All Day was a failure.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident, I just forgot. H-here." I hurriedly placed a glass of lemonade in front of him. I mustered a smile and turned to walk away when I heard a very irritable _**click click**_.

"I don't want one. Take this away." He said, waving his hand at me in a distasteful motion. I froze, for a moment not understanding what was going on.

"But you said-"

"I said it was rude of you not to offer. I didn't say that I wanted one." _Huh?_

"Oh..uh..okay." _You don't have to be such a douchebag about it though._

I snatched the glass back, the anger seeping through my motions as some of the lemonade spilled onto the table from the snappishness of my movement. From the corner of my eye I saw Kyouya raise an eyebrow at this but I pretended not to see, shuffling off quickly before he could say anything else to me.

What in the world was that?

Did he just _enjoy_ going out of his way to bother me? Did it give him some sort of satisfaction to embarrass me for no goddamn reason? It was official, out of all the host club members, I disliked him the most. I hoped he'd fall off the boat and get eaten by a shark or something. Yes. Eaten by a shark. How fitting.

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I watched Kyouya tease Momoku in his special way. I also watched as Momoku was so easily goaded into anger. She hadn't known Kyouya long enough to know that his way of showing interest in a subject was to bother it, test it, see how it would react.

But what Kyouya didn't understand was the fact that he was developing interest in her. Enough to pay the slightest bit attention to irritate her. But I knew Kyouya was too sharp a boy to not notice this soon. He would realize it himself soon enough, and he would probably deny it to himself. Then he'd ignore her.

That's how Kyouya worked.

"Here you go Honey-senpai. I tried something new, tell me if you like it." She said in a kind voice as she set a freshly baked cake down in front of Mitsukuni. She flashed a brief smile at me and placed a plate in front of me as well in case I wanted a slice.

"Oooh raspberries! What kind of cake is this?"

"It's um...red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. I thought I'd give it a go."

"It smells delicious! Have some with me Momo-chan! I bet Takashi wants some too!" And before I could answer, Mitsukuni had already put a slice onto my plate before serving himself a very generous-sized slice. Momoku was looking at him hopefully and from where I sat I knew she was waiting for his approval. She always awaited his approval, it seemed to be the only form of encouragement she felt that she could seek out. Slowly, I took a forkful of the cake. It was delicious.

There was no better way to put it.

It was delicious.

It was riddled with this biting sweetness and smoothed over at the same time by the cake itself. The raspberries gave it an extra sting and taste. I decided that this was my favorite of hers so far.

"Mmmm! It's so delicious! I want to eat this forever Momo-chan! Thank you!"

"You're welcome Honey-senpai...I actually have a couple more sitting in the oven in case you wanted more-actually, I should go take them out now. I'll be right back."

_Wait-_

I had been trying to find the correct way to tell her that her cake had been delicious, but I had already used the word 'delicious' previously before and so I was running through my stores of knowledge to find a more appropriate word to use...but now I had taken too long to think of it because she had already gotten up and left.

"Do you like it Takashi? I love it."

"Aah."

It was easy enough to respond to Mitsukuni, he understood that I really liked the cake. At least, I assumed he understood.

I didn't want to not compliment her on her cake. I definitely needed to give her praise on the cake. She deserved it.

I took another bite.

She most certainly deserved it.

Without thinking too much about it I stood up and walked after her.

Delicious? Brilliant? Tasty?

Warm, good, nice, sweet...

Extraordinary, satisfying, fulfilling...

None of those words were really quite what I was looking for.

Delectable, gratifying, exquisite, delightful-

"-Mori-senpai? Can I help you?"

I had unwittingly reached my destination without a conclusive adjective and was awkwardly standing there at the doorway like some intimidating troll.

"Aah..." I wasn't really sure what to say. She was whipping up frosting for the two cakes cooling on the counter and I could see her arm was getting tired from whisking without an automated processor. To buy myself some time I gently took the bowl from her hands along with the whisk and took over the task. She stared at me a bit stunned and I suddenly realized that I perhaps should have asked if she had wanted help rather than just take it out of her hands.

"Um...thank you Mori-senpai..." She rubbed her arm and took a seat on the counter, watching me as I whisked away at the frosting. I assumed she wanted it as light and fluffy as possible. Would it change the taste of the cake if it were me whisking instead of her? Would it be just as...um...

"Charming."

"E-excuse me Mori-senpai?"

"Your cake. It was charming." That was the word I was looking for, but the look on her face wasn't what I expected. She looked confused.

"Oh? Huh...that's good right? Thank you.."

Maybe charming wasn't the right word. But it was. She just didn't understand what I meant by it. How was I supposed to elaborate?

"I liked it very much."

There, that was what made her smile.

"Thank you Mori-senpai. I'm really happy you liked it."

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"You're coming to Kaoru and Hikaru's birthday party tonight right? Honey-senpai told me he invited you. He said you were going to be making their cake."

"I don't know, I don't really feel like going. I have their cakes ready though, so maybe you can just take them to the party for me."

"No way! I don't really like parties either, but it'll be fun. It'll be a better chance for you to get to know the Host Club too. I swear they're not idiots all the time." She chuckled lightly and I followed suit, laughing with her to go with the flow. We were idling on the deck, waiting as the boat docked at the port for the twins' birthday party. My parents had already made reservations for themselves at some fancy dinner place and had also encouraged me to attend the birthday party. I guess abandoning me with these people was their way of pushing me to be more social. But I was a poor sport. I didn't want to be social. I wanted to lock myself in a room and browse the internet all day-that sounded pretty exciting to me. Much more exciting than a lavish party. The internet had things like pictures of cats.

"So are you going to go?"

"Yeah sure." I knew she wasn't going to let up anyway. She smiled as she leaned on the rail, closing her eyes and breathing in the fresh air.

She was so beautiful.

She had these long lashes and perfect little lips. Even with the short 'boy' hair she looked pretty and to rub it in my face the wind blew through it so that it looked like she were posing in a photoshoot.

"My daughter! Daddy's going to take you shopping!"

"Ai no Tono. It's _our_ birthday. We get to decide what she wears! Come Haruhi!"

"Mommyyyy! The devils are taking away our daughter!"

It was like right out of a cartoon the way they popped up and kidnapped Haruhi. Whenever there was a moment of downtime they'd pop up and appear to whisk her away. I did begin to find it funny.

"Why don't _I_ get to pick what I'm going to wear?" She asked, clearly annoyed, but it did not deter any of the three. They continued to drag her off of the boat and onto the dock, pulling her into town with their own agendas.

The calm sound of footsteps coming from behind me told me that Kyouya was also about to get off the boat. Sure enough he stood next to me within seconds, fixing the cuff of his neatly ironed shirt as he did so. It was always business with him.

"I suppose I should see what the dear president of our club wants. You should get a dress of your own for the party as well. Hikaru and Kaoru tend to do things...flashy. Good day." And with that short comment, Mr. Ootori was off. I was graced with the view of his behind as he walked away and needless to say, I enjoyed it. That fucker was handsome like the devil.

The frantic and hurried footsteps told me that Honey-senpai was getting off the boat as well, dragging behind him a much calmer set of footsteps.

"Oh poo! They took off without us! We have to catch up Takashi! Or else we won't get to see Haruhi trying on dresses! Hi Momo-chan!"

I turned to see a very happy Honey-senpai, clutching Mori-senpai's arm as he pulled him along, trying to get him to walk faster so to catch up to the rest. I smiled at his bright face and gave a small wave to Mori who was trailing along behind him.

"Hi Honey-senpai. They're not that far ahead. They went straight into town just a few seconds ago so you'll catch up in no time."

"Oh yay! Are you coming with us Momo-chan? We're going shopping!"

"Oh no no...I have errands to run." Yes...errands. Nonexistent errands.

Honey-senpai nodded and pulled on Mori-senpai to continue on his way, but Mori-senpai, interestingly, wouldn't budge.

"Takashi?"

"Would you like help with your errands?"

**Time out.**

**TIME OUT.**

Now there were several things that went through my head after Mori-senpai offered his help.

1. I was about to be caught in a lie.

2. He was mind-boggling in how sweet he was for a boy so beautiful and wealthy.

3. Why would he offer to help me?

4. Would Honey-senpai get annoyed by this?

and

5. I sure have been silent and staring at him for quite some time.

"Uh...I..." I snapped myself out of my daze, trying to muster up some appropriate response. _Idiot._ It was such a simple fucking question, and yet it had disarmed me. It probably disarmed me because I had lied. I was never really good at keeping up lies anyhow.

Thankfully, Honey-senpai came to my rescue.

"Oh! That's a good idea. Takashi you help Momo-chan out and we can meet up later! Usa-chan and I are going to find Haruhi! Baiii!"

Now I felt awkward.

I stared up at Mori, slightly dumbfounded at how I was left with him. This was it. This was my chance. Now we were going to have a private outing and get to know each other and within the span of an hour he'll realize that he's madly in love with me and then we'll start to date and get married and have a wonderful, wonderful, life.

Hah. Lol. JK.

None of that happened.

Instead, I looked up and gave a lame smile.

"I uh..lied about the errands."

"I know."


	11. Holding Hands

"I know."

"Huh..well..good..."

I blinked a few times, staring up at him, wondering just what to make of the situation. So, he knew I had been lying. Great. But why volunteer to help then? What did he want? Did he want to an apology? Was I supposed to say sorry?

"I uh...don't know what you want from me." I said rather bluntly, mentally kicking myself for being unable to be more eloquent in asking 'how may I help you?'. Mori's expression didn't change, but rather he started walking forwards, pausing once to turn and look at me. He wanted me to follow him.

And like a little puppy I scrambled and quickly trotted to his side, walking beside him silently. I put my hands in my pockets and smiled. I enjoyed standing beside Mori-senpai. It felt good.

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I still recalled the way she looked when we had all gone into that costume shop for Haruhi. She had stood there looking dejected, confused, mortified, and miserable all at the same time. She had said nothing then, and were she to be dragged into shopping for Haruhi's dress this time, she'd still say nothing. I was attempting to save her from another fiasco-the only problem was, I had no idea where to go. There was not a single moment in my life when I had ever gone shopping for women's clothing and even if I had, I wasn't familiar with this area.

"Where are we going Mori-senpai?" She asked and though I had no clue, I didn't want to let her know. Glancing around, I saw that there was a clothing store to our left and headed towards it. She followed suit.

There really wasn't a manual describing on how to make a girl happy. I feel like if there were a bullet pointed outline I would fare a lot better. I feel like if I had that outline my palms wouldn't be sweating right now and that I wouldn't feel the need to turn around and run out of the store the moment the clerk asked me:

"Hello there! Looking for a dress for your girlfriend here?"

"Aa-"

"-oh no no! I'm not his uh...we're not...we're just friends." She filled in quickly, her voice frantic as if in a slight panic. I watched her face turn a bit red as she smiled nervously. She looked at me, her expression apologetic, as if it had been an embarrassment for _me_ to have somebody assume she were my girlfriend. Or maybe I was reading too much into something that wasn't even important. Or maybe it was? How was I supposed to be able to tell?

"Oh! Okay well, how may I help you today?"

"Uh..."

At the salesworker's prompt, Momoku looked up at me, waiting for me to answer as I had been the one to lead her here. I was a little wary of answering though, as I wasn't too sure about my purpose for being here either.

"She is attending a friend's birthday party and needs a dress."

"I do?" She stared at me awkwardly and I nodded.

"Oh yeah, I do. Right..."

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_Dresses...dresses..._

_Fuck these dresses..._

"I guess this one is cute-" _**$120? A HUNDRED TWENTY DOLLARS? **__For this flimsy ass piece of cloth? _"-not that cute." I finished off my sentence, hurriedly putting the gold colored dress away as if it burned my fingers. Mori arched a brow at me and I shrugged, flipping through dresses somewhat frantically as I tried to find one that was in my price range.

_$200...$128...$150...$274...$98...$80...$175..._

_What the __**fuck **__dude?_

_Who could shop at places like this?_

"What kind of dress are you looking for? Perhaps I could help Ma'am."

_A __**cheap**__ dress, that's what._

"Oh um...nothing too flashy...just sort of...um...nothing flashy."

"Well how about a little black dress then? It's simple,classy, and elegant. Here! This looks like it would be in your size." I knew I wasn't going to get it the moment she handed it to me. It was a very smooth, black velvet material, and she was right. It was classy and elegant.

And $198.

"Maybe...um..." I suddenly felt ashamed. Ashamed about how money dictated what I bought. I bet Mori-senpai never had to worry about how much something cost. Not even once. I bet his family was so loaded that he could buy anything he wanted at the drop of a hat. Didn't they have a clearance rack or anything? Didn't they have sales? Who the hell shopped in places like this? Was the majority of Japan rich beyond belief and my family just happened to slip through the cracks? Who could afford all this bullshit...

"Do you not like it?" His voice jolted me out of my daydreams and I nervously shook my head and shrugged at the same time, successfully delivering the most incomprehensible response in the history of man.

"Maybe another store or something."

_Maybe a store that sells things under $50._

"Aah."

I crossed my fingers that there were no other dress stores. I waved goodbye to the clerk as we exited the store, my cheeks burning with embarrassment as I thought about why I wanted to leave.

_Haruhi goes to school with these rich bastards, how does she deal with it?_

"I don't really want to buy a dress...I have one already." I lied. I looked up at Mori and he nodded, pausing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets.

"Aah."

Now his monosyllabic answer bugged me.

What did he want me to say after his 'aah' this time? Why did he have to bring me into that store? What was he trying to pull? Why did he stay behind when he knew full well that I was lying about the errands? Surely he must have had something to say if he decided to hang around right? Why did he have to stand on the stupid sidewalk looking at me? What did he want from me? What was I supposed to say? Why did he have to stay behind? Why couldn't he have just left me alone? I didn't want to go dress shopping in a store I couldn't afford to be in. This was stupid-

I felt a warm hand gently place itself on my shoulder and guide me forward. Looking up I saw that it was Mori, leading me elsewhere, his large but gentle hand spreading warmth throughout my entire body. The simple touch had completely annihilated whatever thought process I had been having, making it feel as if I were walking on a cloud. I felt sheltered all of a sudden, as if I had donned on a fluffy blanket and had been tucked into bed.

And before I knew it, he had removed his hand.

The sudden absence of warmth startled me and without thinking I reached out, grasping into the air to maintain what had been taken away.

This resulted in something catastrophic.

If I were given just one chance to disappear through the floor, I would take it now.

In my scramble to grab the warmth that had been on my shoulder, I had flailed out and grabbed his hand.

"Uh..."

I stared at him blankly, his hand grasped firmly within mine. My body had chosen a wonderful time to freeze up. I couldn't think of what to do. He seemed caught off guard and stood frozen. I was absolutely frozen, unsure of how to proceed or how to explain why I had done such a thing.

_You are __**such**__ a creep_.

And with this thought, I slowly let go of his hand and buried my own into my pockets, feeling horrified.

I felt timid. Too timid to look up to see the expression on Mori's face...he was probably weirded out, grossed out, annoyed that I would touch-

"Are you hungry?" He asked, but I wasn't listening.

He was holding my hand.

He had reached back and had grasped my hand in his.

And now, he was holding my hand.

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I had done it out of instinct, almost like a parent who was about to lose his child in a crowd. She had grasped my hand for a split second and that momentary touch had thrown me completely off balance. The way she recoiled after having grabbed my hand had startled me even more. Without thinking, I had reached back and took her hand into mine. It felt normal. It was like holding Mitsukuni's hand except hers was softer...daintier. And before I knew it, I was holding her hand.

When I looked at her, her face was a deep red, bordering purple and her eyes were staring firmly at the ground. If I didn't know any better, I would think that she found the sidewalk infinitely more fascinating than me.

"Are you hungry?"

She didn't answer me, and while we're being honest, I'll let you know that I didn't expect an answer anyway.

Slowly, with her hand still in mine, I guided her down the street, looking at prospective restaurants

and ignoring the slightly elevated rate of my own pulse.

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Confetti that looked like golden flakes. The twins were not sparing _any_ expenses for their party. I had already called in several of the Host Club 'princesses' and almost all of them had already RSVP'd for the party. The RSVP was unnecessary, but it was a formality. Without that formality I knew that these people would be a little confused. They would be wondering "a party that doesn't require a reservation? What is that?" Idiots.

I noted that I was growing more and more frustrated as I planned this pointless party. The twins were only capable of throwing around requests without actually thinking about what resources each request would take.

For example, catering.

Most places required over 24 hours notice. Instead, the twins had decided that they would wait until the very last minute to make such ridiculous demands, leaving me to wander around town to find somebody to bribe into fulfilling such a ridiculous request. I walked into the fourth restaurant of the day, now having lowered the standards of the food that I expected to be served at the party when I spotted something very out of place.

_I must be mistaken._

No.

I definitely wasn't.

That was definitely Mori and Momoku walking towards an empty booth...holding hands.

There was no mistaking that towering 6 foot something figure walking with the 5 foot nothing girl.

Question was, why the fuck would they be holding hands?

I watched as their hands finally let go as they were seated at a booth. They chose to sit on opposite sides.

"Hello sir, would you like a table?" When I turned to look at the waitress who interrupted my train of thought, I was somewhat surprised to see her shrink back from me in slight fear-oh, wait, I was glaring at her. I cleared my throat and shook my head, not really feeling it necessary to stop glaring at her.

"Actually, I'm meeting a couple of friends here. They're sitting over there." I pointed at the table where Momoku and Mori sat. I don't know what compelled me. I suddenly felt like having some food as well.

"Oh of course sir, right this way. Let me grab you a menu as well." She led the way and I followed, waiting curiously as to when they would notice me coming their way.

Unsurprisingly, Mori had noticed me pretty quickly, barely turning his head as he glanced at me. Though I could not read his expression, I knew enough that he wasn't happy to see me here. Not that I cared for his opinion though. The satisfying reaction came when I was within three feet of the table and finally spotted by Momoku who reacted with a jump and immediate gasp. To draw out the moment I stood at the end of their table and took off my glasses, wiping them off unnecessarily with a handkerchief before putting them back on.

"Well? Make some room."

Girl couldn't even say hello? Really, no manners with this one.

"O-oh. Okay. I didn't know you'd uh...that you'd be here Ootori-san." I decided not to respond right away and instead motioned for her to scoot over, sitting down next to her and grabbing her menu as if she didn't even exist.

Just as I had expected, she didn't protest. She quietly took it. But what I didn't expect was Mori's quick response of handing her his own menu; I chose to ignore it.

"Thanks Mori-senpai.."

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Kyouya was a boy who was a very grown up man in some ways, and still very much a boy in others. His interest in her had been increasing, now going so far to bother her in even less subtle ways like taking the menu away from her even before she was even done. It was childish and it was an attempt to get her attention, but it wasn't something he quite understood yet. Surprisingly, he was a little slow on this, despite being an incredibly sharp boy.

Oh, and there was one more surprising thing.

I felt angry.

I was growing more and more irritated at his inability to cope with his own brain and emotions, especially at the fact that he expressed his confusion through general assholishness towards Momoku. I stared at him, wondering just when he'd realize his own bullshit and cut it out. I also wondered when he'd realize just how much each thing he said and did to her affected her. Even now, her smile that had been on her face previously was completely wiped away. She nervously bit her bottom lip and fiddled with the pages, looked through the menu even though I was pretty sure she had already made her decision.

"Are you ready to order?"

"Yes. May I have the Peking duck?" Kyouya ordered first, the waitress then turned to me, smiling brightly as she did so.

"And what will you have sir?"

"L4, please." I said, pointing to the lunch special on the menu.

"I'll have the same please."

There was nothing notable which happened throughout the lunch. The only notable thing, if even notable, happened afterwards, as we exited the restaurant.

Momoku walked quickly ahead of us, mumbling something about how she had forgotten something on the boat. I nodded her goodbye and as Kyouya started to walk away as well I put a firm hand on his shoulder, stopping him from going any further. When he paused and turned to look at me, I stared at him, unsure of what my intentions had originally been when I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yes Mori-senpai?"

I said nothing, but instead, stared at him, considering all the choice words I could say to him, the lectures I could give him as within my right as his senior...none of them seemed to quite fit the situation and none of them sounded appropriate in my head.

So, in the end, I continued my silence and let go of his shoulder, giving him one last look before I walked past him and continued on my way-but not before I lightly shoved against his shoulder with my own.

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_Click. Click. Click Click Click. . ._

_Click. Click. ClickClick__**Snap**__._

I looked at the poorly made pen which had broken into several pieces under the pressure of my manic clicking and unclicking. What idiot couldn't have foreseen the need to create a pen that could withstand multiple clickings? Irritated I smacked the pieces of the pen off of my desk, letting them hurl themselves across the room and clatter onto the floor. What goddamned moron was so incompetent that he couldn't even manufacture a functional pen?

I was quietly seething as I sat in one of the many hotel rooms booked for the Hitachi's party tonight. To me, there was nothing more fascinating than this one particular spot in the wallpaper. I figured it would eventually catch fire the way I was glaring at it.

I just couldn't believe it.

That brute.

That ape.

That. Fucking. Neanderthal.

_**CRASH.**_

The little table I was sitting at had now joined the remains of my former pen on the floor. I still had not moved from my chair.

_How dare he?_

Takashi Morinozuka had _threatened _me.

Oh, he may have not said it outright-in fact, I would have preferred it had he said it out loud. But that was not Takashi's style. Everything with him was said in either two words or less, or not at all. The simple squeeze of my shoulder accompanied by the look he gave me had spoken volumes. I saw the threat in his eyes and in his grip. I felt the tension and slight hostility in the way he shoved past me afterwards.

That idiot boy who comes from a lineage of fucking _slaves_ threatened _me._

I would not forget it.


	12. Human Touch

**Sorry. It is kind of short. I'm sorry for taking like a year to update as well. Merrr...**

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**Sigh**.

It was hopeless.

The nicest dress I had on this boat was something that looked like I'd go to church in-which is _exactly_ what I used this dress for. It was a dark grey dress. A simple, dark grey dress. It reached above my knees and made me look like dull church girl. I turned around to look at my side-_**nope, not flattering.**_

I turned around even more to look at my backside to see if that angle offered any hope.

_**Nope.**_

Stupid dress. Stupid party. I bet they wouldn't even notice me even if I were there. Why did I have to go to this stupid thing? It's not like the twins even liked me. I threw the dress onto my bed and sat down, glancing at the timer on the nightstand. About 5 more minutes until the cake finished baking.

Right, forgot to mention. To top it off, I was the one baking the birthday cake for the twins.__ And since it was for numerous people...I had to bake multiple cakes to make one giant one.

Bullshit. That's what this was. Bullshit.

What would Haruhi be wearing? Since there were customers of the Host Club going there, would she be in a boy's outfit? Or a girl's? If she was going as a girl, what kind of dress would she be wearing? I would bet that it would be a beautiful dress...maybe a bright red one. Red always looked really nice on Haruhi.

_**Ding ding ding**_.

I quickly turned off the timer and changed back into my jumper shorts, trying to not think about how it was probably the most unflattering outfit I owned. Oh well, there was no one to impress at this point anyway.

In the kitchen I felt more comfortable, putting together all the pieces of cake to make one large one. I had been at this all day. My oven could only fit 2 pans of cake batter at a time, so as you can guess, I hadn't really left the area much. But you know, I was pretty content here, and as I carefully smoothed out the icing on top of the cake it felt therapeutic to see such a smooth surface produced by a normally lumpy medium. I contemplated drawing a giant penis in frosting on top of it. Would the twins have a sense of humor about it? Or would they throw a little shitfit?

I'd put at least $20 that they'd throw the shitfit.

"Aiiiyeeee what's that!? What a stupid little commoner! they'd say" I mocked them, waving my froster in the air at the imaginary situation.

"Can't even get a cake right, she must have been dropped on her head as a baby ey Kaoru?" I wagged my froster again, putting my hand on my hip and scrunching my face up to imitate their stupid, smug, little faces.

"And then Kaoru would go 'eyyy...it's not nice to make fun of disabled people Hikaru' and Hikaru would go 'how right Kaoru, it's not nice to expect anything from somebody so disabled anyway blah blah blah I'm so handsome and rich and I can say whatever I want and I'm amazing at everything because I'm rich and shit blah blah blah-"

"Good to know you think so highly of us." I heard the unmistakable voice of one of the twins, but it wasn't until I turned around in embarrassment that I could guess which one it was.

"Where's Hikaru?" I asked, my face heating up as I put my froster behind my back, shuffling my feet a little and looking at my shoes like some kid who had just been caught sneaking through mom's purse. Kaoru crossed his arms and leaned against the kitchen wall, smirking at me mischievously.

"What makes you think I'm not Hikaru?" He asked and for a moment I doubted myself, but when I looked back up at him, I was pretty sure about my guess.

"Lucky guess." I mumbled again and began returning to the cake that I was making _for him_ to begin with. Kaoru had walked over, his arms still crossed and inspected my work so far and suddenly I felt self-conscious about the state the cake was in. I was only on the first tier and the second tier hadn't been trimmed yet, leaving it to be ugly and naked without its frosting or decorations. I was about to stammer out about how the cake wasn't done yet yadda yadda ya, until Kaoru took a spoonful of frosting and ate it, tasting it in his mouth thoughtfully before putting the spoon back down.

"You seem to have a lot of lucky guesses. Why don't you just tell me what gives it away?" He pushed the question, taking the spoon he _just_ had in his mouth and putting it back into the bowl of frosting for a second bite. I frowned, thinking about how gross it was that he was double dipping. He seemed to notice the look on my face before shrugging.

"It's my cake anyway, I can do whatever I want."

_Of course. Silly me._

"Okay." Is all I found reasonable to respond with. But still, the less dickish twin hung around, as if he were waiting for something more from me. I paused my movements for a moment, holding off on frosting the rest of the cake to look at him.

"Hitachiin-sama, is there something else I could help you with?" I was hoping he'd hear my question and take it as more of a rhetorical question. I was hoping for a 'no' or a 'no'. Or maybe even a 'no'.

"Yeah there is. I have a few questions to ask you and you owe me a few answers." I tensed up, mildly terrified of what he could possibly need to know from me. Out of all of them, including Kyouya, the twins intimidated me the most. Out of all of them, they were the most unsettled, the most volatile, and the ones who were most emotionally raw and simultaneously guarded. Kaoru leaned down, narrowing his eyes at me and bringing his face uncomfortably close to mine.

Despite what it may sound like, there was nothing romantic about the situation. There was no sexual tension, no hot breath to make me gasp-there was nothing but the most uncomfortable tension. It was the kind of tension where you're wondering whether your school bully is about to beat the shit out of you, or just rob you of your lunch money..

"What's your deal?" He asked.

"W-what?" I guess I was right to be afraid. He asked questions about things I had no clue about. What was he even talking about? I leaned backwards, trying to create more distance between us as I felt more and more uncomfortable with each passing second. He just leaned forwards even more, making sure that I would be as uncomfortable as humanly possible.

"I _said_, what's your deal?"

"Hitachiin-sama...I-I...I don't know what you're talking...about..."

"Sure you do." He finally leaned back away from me and turned around, putting his hands on his hips as he paced from me to the fridge a couple times before turning back around and pointing a finger an accusatory finger at me.

"You have been messing everything up. You have been changing the dynamics."

_What? The dynamics of what? What have __**I**__ been messing up? __**They**__ are the ones who stomped into my life, my boat, my summer, and fucked with __**my**__ life._

"Excuse me? What are you-what-just _what_?" I was getting flustered and frustrated, wanting to snap that stupid finger in half.

"Kyouya's acting weird, paying less attention to Tamaki and actually letting him run free with his stupid antics now because he's bothered by _you_. And Mori-senpai, I haven't seen him this bothered since Honey-senpai got a cavity and threw him across the room. He's quieter than usual which is a feat in itself. He's distracted and is paying less attention to Honey. Do you know how difficult that is to do? So I am asking you, _what_, is your _deal_? What are you doing that's screwing up my friends?"

"I-I..I d-don't know...I...what you're...I don't...know.." I was terrified. I didn't know or understand what I was being accused of. The menacing twin was getting up in my face, not allowing me any breathing room and his finger was still wagging at me. I took a step back, not really knowing how to respond in this situation. Kaoru seemed to ease up when I did that as if realizing just how threatening he seemed to me. I stood still, hoping that less movement meant less confrontation. Maybe if I didn't move at all I would start to blend in with my surroundings.

"Calm down I'm not going to hurt you." He said in attempts to reassure me, but the damage had already been done. I now knew that another one of the Host Club was unhappy with me. Now I had to worry about the things he said and worry about him as well.

"I have to go. Excuse me." Is all I could think of saying. Quickly I brushed past him and out of the kitchen, walking as if I were on a mission while having no actual destination in mind.

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I had read somewhere that there was a reason why chocolate was so appealing to people.

There are three main ingredients in chocolate and had I a sharper mind I would have remembered the chemical names.

The first ingredient causes the brain to produce large quantities of serotonin, causing the feeling of extraordinary happiness. The second ingredient stimulates the brain's pleasure centres, causing us to have feelings of bliss, euphoria, and giddiness-probably releasing dopamine or something. I've already forgotten. The third ingredient is the psychoactive ingredient which directly affects our mental process, causing us to crave more chocolate almost to the point of addiction.

As I sat huddled in the darkness of the linen closet, I didn't really feel the effects of my Hershey's bar on me. I was currently enjoying its sweetness and the way it melted in my mouth if I didn't chew it right away, but it definitely wasn't giving me any feelings of euphoria or bliss.

_Maybe it's because I haven't eaten enough chocolate yet._ Is how I justified it as I unwrapped my third chocolate bar of the day.

The calories weren't going to do me any good. Oh well.

I closed my eyes and leaned back on the cleanly folded sheets which filled the closet. We used a very fresh smelling detergent and really nice fabric softener, making the scent of the closet even more enjoyable. It was a comfortable place really. The silence and lack of light comforted me like an all-encompassing hug which neither smothered me nor put any pressure on me. In here I felt like I was drowning in a quiet dream, floating in place, unafraid of crashing to the ground or being pulled into the sky. I was just comfortable.

How did I end up in the linen closet you may ask?

Well by the time Kaoru had burst in to wag his finger and accuse me of being the devil, I had finished the cake. After walking out of the kitchen I had alerted Haruhi to the fact that the cake was done and to arrange for it to be delivered. I told her that I would be out on errands for the rest of the day and would meet her at the Hitachiin's birthday party.

Of course I did no such thing.

I made a stop by our room and grabbed a bag of chocolate bars, a book, and a pillow, and made my way to the one place I knew nobody would ever accidentally stumble upon.

How was I so sure of this?

Well, you see, the linen closet was in the back of the boat in the area where all the supply closets were. Bathroom cleaning things, kitchen stock things, and the linen closet. I had never seen any of those boys once take a step towards these closets because why would they? They had me to change their bedsheets, to clean their bathrooms and to scrub the kitchen.

I planned on camping out in the linen closet all night. It was roomy enough.

My only mistake was forgetting to bring a flashlight. It was really difficult to read my book in total darkness.

But that's okay. Just a small mistake. I could do without reading anyway.

The warmth of the dark was more than enough.

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"Hmm..I don't see Momoku. Do you think she's running late with her errands?" A concerned Haruhi piped up next to me, I didn't glance away from my ipad, still coordinating a few things on it for the party.

"Possibly. You should be more concerned with the twins though."

"Eh? What do-"

"_**LAAAAADIES AND MORE LADIES! PLEASE WELCOME YOUR HOSTS FOR TONIGHT, THE HITACHIIN BROTHERS!"**_

The deafening screams of the crowd drowned out whatever response Haruhi had tried to give me. The lights went off and were replaced with a singular spotlight focusing on the two twins who stood at the top of a red-carpeted staircase. They were dressed in very princely outfits, golden tassels hanging from their shouldercuffs and everything. They bowed dramatically and slowly began to descend down the staircase to the sound of the audience's applause. As they took their slow steps, the golden confetti began to slowly shower down onto the crowd below, making it all feel like a scene from a movie.

None of this moved me.

I wasn't surprised that Momoku hadn't arrived, and yet I still somehow expected her to show up. How could she be so disrespectful not to attend the birthday party of two of the host members? Disrespectful child.

But on the other hand...

I recalled the look in her eyes when panic overcame her back at the boat a few days ago. The overwhelming presence of the host club had sent her reeling into a panic attack and as I looked at the excessive party, I imagined that it was for the best that she didn't appear here. She probably wouldn't know how to handle extravagance like this anyway, being a commoner and all.

I glanced up at the cake which sat upon the table. It was pretty grand looking. The lazy child had left it in such a bland state that I had a couple bakers come up to decorate the cake last minute. She was just going to leave the cake at just having chocolate frosting. She didn't even think about how ugly it would look sitting upon such an elegant table. She obviously didn't think much.

"Waaah. Look Takashi! It's Momo-chan's cake! Did she do that whole thing by herself?"

_Of course she didn't. How could a commoner have such elegant taste?_

"Ah."

I flicked away a piece of confetti which had fallen onto my screen, feeling the slightest flash of anger at the sound of Mori's voice. I had far from forgotten the incident that had been shared between us a week ago. I paused over the file on the screen, having lost my place in reading for a moment, wondering just what I had been looking over for the past few minutes. Something was distracting me.

Excited screams erupted again as the twins started to dance together on the dance floor. The girls started bustling even more, ecstatic to see the incestuous love brothers dancing to the tango.

That was it.

This place was just too noisy and too distracting.

Quietly, I stood up and loosely held my ipad to my side, walking away from the party without drawing attention through the side door. The cool summer air greeted my face as the faint smell of the sea drifted through from a reasonable distance away. The twins had insisted on not having the venue at the beach. Apparently they were beginning to get tired of the sea.

After hailing a cab, I directed him towards the boat. The boat would be a quiet place at this time of night.

That's how I rationalized it at least.

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I always liked to think that if Hogwarts were real, that I'd be sorted into Gryffindor; Loyal and brave next to my friends. But after some honest deliberation, I think the house I'd end up in would be Hufflepuff, or perhaps Slytherin. I most certainly wasn't clever enough for Ravenclaw, nor did I care about schooling in the least bit. I was obviously not brave or loyal, cowering and hating the people I called my friends in secret. I think Slytherin would be a bit of a stretch though. Would I really ever betray my own friends? Hate them, yes, betray them though...would I do such a thing as that? I liked to think I had some morals to my character.

No, I was too much of a coward to betray my friends. I wouldn't be able to handle their hateful gazes or their muted anger. It would be too stressful to handle that sort of backlash.

I would be in Hufflepuff. Doing whatever it was I did, put-putting around the school and trying not to get on anybody's bad side.

I think Tamaki would be Harry Potter, the stupid but brave and loyal leader to the end. Haruhi would obviously be Hermione Granger, the most brilliant witch of her age, fearless and always on the path of good. Of course, the Hitachiin twins would be the Weasley twins, who else could they possibly be? The trouble-making twins apparently translated very well into the world of Harry Potter.

Now Mori-senpai...who would he be? Maybe Mori would be Cedric Diggory, the Hufflepuff Prefect who was perfect in every way...athletic, tall, handsome, smart and kind...or maybe I was just being biased. I smiled to myself, blushing lightly as I thought about it. Mori would make an excellent Prefect. I couldn't even think of a character to fit Honey-senpai.

Now Kyoya...

Well that was an easy one.

He'd be Draco Malfoy.

Evil, conniving, rich, handsome, and not afraid to remind you at every turn how much more inferior you were to him.

_Of course you wouldn't understand my refined tastes mudblood_.

I giggled to myself and stood up to open the closet door. It had been long enough that everyone would be in the middle of the party by now.

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_Her shoes are still here_.

Her cell phone was sitting on her bedside table and her coat was hanging on the door. I knew she didn't have another coat on the boat. Her shoes were still sitting neatly on the floor mat.

She was still on the boat somewhere.

The little mouse was hiding.

It amused me to think that she hid on the boat somewhere, rather than go somewhere out in town where it would be much harder and less likely to find her. I grinned, imagining the look that she'd have on her face when I disturbed her quiet night. It was mildly funny to think about it.

Not in the kitchen, not in any of the bedrooms. She wouldn't hide in any of those places, it was too easy.

Now where would _she_ think would be the last place any of us would ever look?

Supplies.

I walked over to the back of the boat where all the supply closets resided, careful to make sure that my dress shoes did not make noise with every step I took. I barely noticed the smirk which had grown on my face, knowing that I was about to dismantle whatever cleverness the commoner had thought she achieved. Stopping in front of all the closets, I paused, wondering if I'd be able to guess which one she was in without having to try more than one door.

A giggle came from the one on the left.

Of course I didn't need more than one guess. Closing my hand over the brass knob, I quickly twisted it and pulled the door open.

The only thing I hadn't expected was her body stumbling into mine.

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When I put my hand on the doorknob to leave the safety of the closet, it was like an immediate curse, the knob turned of its own accord and the door flung open, pulling me with it and sending me crashing into something-correction, _somebody_.

I don't think he meant to catch me. From what I knew of him, had he been able to react quickly enough, he would have preferred to let me crash into the floor. But I had caught him by surprise as well. He had caught me against his chest, his hands on my back, stiff, frozen, and uncomfortable as it seemed that he was also unable to react immediately.

I was in shock about several things.

1. Why was he on the boat?

2. How did he know where I was?

3. Why was he on the boat?

4. Why was he on the boat?

5. What was I supposed to do now?

"What are you doing in the linen closet?" He was the first to speak, but he hadn't moved. He was still holding me against him.

"What are you doing on the boat?" I asked in return, the uncomfortableness of the situation only beginning to be realized by my brain.

In all honesty, he had probably only been holding me for about 45 seconds before he abruptly let go and started walking away without another word, but it had felt like an hour. His body had been warm, his hands which had held my back felt like they had branded their print into my skin, his chest which my face had laid against smelled of his cologne and for just a few seconds when my thoughts blanked and my body relaxed...I had felt...good. For that brief period of time, I had seen Kyoya Ootori as a human being. He had warm flesh, a beating heart, a soft touch, a nice smell, and for that one moment he made feel like a human as well.

But as the cool ocean breeze sped past my face it was as if somebody had grabbed my ankles and thrust me back onto earth, reminding me of reality. I was thrown at the speed of sound, my heart crashing and my mind exploding upon impact. I felt numb as I tried to process a simple hug. Something about it was so foreign and so unnatural to me. It seemed cruel and unusual to have happened to me now of all times. Now that I knew what it felt like to be held by a man like Kyoya.

I knew that it was wonderful.

And I understood that it would never happen again.

_Ugly girl. Ugly. Poor. Stupid. Talentless. Useless. Commoner. Mudblood. Girl._

Slowly, I walked to my room on the boat and laid down on the soft mattress, my eyes staring up at the top bunk but seeing nothing.

How did something so insignificant, affect me so drastically?


	13. Noisy Galoshes

_**Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.**_

I stared at my cellphone making a ruckus on the table in front of me. It vibrated and rang like a banshee in the otherwise silent room, each vibration smacking against the table in an ungraceful fashion. Perhaps I should get a new phone. One that didn't sound so annoying when it rang. Yes, that seemed like a good idea.

Picking it up I looked at the caller id momentarily before pitching the phone against my room wall, satisfied when the pieces shattered and coated the floor. I stood up and walked over to the largest piece remaining intact and stomped on it with my foot just for good measure. Tamaki could call the police if it were an emergency. Perhaps I should get another iphone. Those seemed to be the newest thing nowadays, yet their capabilities were so limited. I would just have to ask my assistant to get the best phone he could find, and if he found me something sub par, I would fire him.

I mildly regretted breaking the phone as now I had no noise to distract me from the silence of my thoughts. The silence forced me to confront tonight's events and the steps which led up to them.

I had work to do, so I left the birthday party in search of a quieter place.

The boat was logically the quietest place.

But I had already been 95%, no, 80% sure that Momoku would still be on the boat. Yet instead of just going to another hotel to rent out a room for the night, I had asked for the cab to bring me back to the boat which was an hour away from the party venue.

Now I had to figure out the reason why I insisted on returning to the boat with the good chance that Momoku was still somewhere on it. What could I have possibly gained from it?

There was no denying that I wanted to interrupt her night. I wanted to cut her joy, knowing that she had probably done her best (pathetically so) to get a night to herself away from the Host Club. That in itself entertained me. But again, why? Why did I do such a thing when I had nothing to gain from it? Why did this stupid commoner make me want to bother her?

Was it because she was just so pathetic that any normal aristocrat's reaction would be to try and stomp on her? Human nature perhaps?

Frustrated at the lack of rationalization, I stood up and straightened out my glasses, walking down the hallway towards her room.

I would get some goddamn answers.

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When I opened her door I saw that she was fast asleep on her bed, which angered me even more. How could_ she _sleep at a time like this? Here I stood in her doorway, fuming, confused, frustrated beyond all belief, and this stupid girl was peacefully _sleeping_.

I flicked the cabin lights on and was somewhat pleased as she scrunched up her face to the unexpected light. She groaned and turned over, burying her head under her pillow, ready to go back to sleep. Now, more than annoyed, I walked over and pulled the covers straight off of her, startling her from her sleep as she grasped at where her blankets should have been. Slowly she realized they were no longer there and squinted her eyes open, not registering me until she sat up. Even then, her reaction wasn't her normal reaction.

"Kyouya-senpai...?" She asked sleepily, not quite registering her surroundings. Apparently she had the audacity to go into a very deep sleep. Didn't this girl have a conscience?! How could she fucking sleep like that?!

"Get your coat and put your shoes on. We're going out."

"Mm..kay...where we goin..g..?" She asked sleepily, putting her galoshes on in a haze rather than her sneakers. I arched an eyebrow as she assembled the most mismatching outfit ever created in the history of mankind. She had galoshes, a short jumper, and a hoody which substituted as her coat.

"Out. Now just follow me." I commanded, saying nothing about her horrifying outfit as she sleepily dragged herself after me. She still hadn't quite woken up yet. I smirked at the thought of her walking down the boardwalk and realizing what she was wearing, who she was with, and the fact that she was out in public like this. She followed me obediently off of the boat and into the town, the dead of night being illuminated by the stores and restaurants which were still open at this time. The pit pat of her galoshes were somewhat amusing as she followed behind me, her steps becoming slower and slower...until...

"Kyoya-senpai? Where are going? What are we doing?"

Seems like she finally woke up.

I turned around to look at her, her face flushed red as she looked down at herself. Just as I had imagined, she was horrified at what she was wearing. She quickly glanced at her reflection in a nearby store window, I could almost see her face get a couple shades redder. I pretended not to notice.

"We are going for a walk. I have questions and you have answers." I said and she fell mute, no longer able to meet my gaze and mumbling something incoherent as she shuffled up next to me. Well, not quite next to me. As she walked beside me, she was always at least a foot behind me as if she were my maid in waiting.

"Stop walking behind me, it is hard to hold a conversation when one's voice is projecting like this. Don't you have any common sense?"

"Ah..hai.." She shuffled quickly, stepping in place next to me while staring at the concrete sidewalk. I had my hands in my pockets, studying the stores which were still open at this time of night.

"Are you hungry?" I asked her, my question seeming to startle her as she looked up at me with wide eyes. The expression she gave me was one of apprehension. I sighed and crossed my arms, annoyed with the dull girl.

"It's not a trick question. Yes or no."

"...yes."

_See? That wasn't so hard you baka child._

"We'll eat here." She wordlessly followed me into the fast food place, her galoshes squeaking against the floor with every step she took. Why did she have to be such an awkward human?

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I was actually kind of impressed at the way Kyoya ate that burger so naturally. I would have expected him to sneer or make disgusted faces at this sort of junk food, but apparently he was just fine with it. I slowly grabbed my burger and unwrapped it, now assured that he hadn't poisoned the food I was ready to eat. I chewed the preservative-laden burger with some apprehension, wondering what in the world had caused Kyoya to bring me out and treat me to some fast food.

_Maybe he's going to tell me that he's going to take my extra kidney and sell it._

Nah, he didn't need my kidney. He had a whole medical company to get as many kidneys as he wanted. I bet he occasionally cooked them and ate them in a sandwich.

_Maybe he's going to sacrifice my soul to fulfill his demonic power source._

"It's rude to stare. Do they not teach that to commoners?" He said rudely and I scrunched my nose up at him, wondering how such an asshole personality could reside in such a beautiful body.

"Ah...sorry." _Well it doesn't seem like rich people teach their children not to be assholes either._

My apology wasn't in any way sincere and I had put no effort into making it sound sincere. Kyoya had noticed but chose not to comment, instead choosing to continue finishing his burger. It was until he started on the fries that he spoke to me again.

"We have a problem on our hands." He stated and I blinked, turning my head to look around the restaurant to see if we were about to be mugged. Nothing seemed out of place and I didn't see anybody in ski-masks. I heard a snapping of fingers and I turned back to Kyoya who looked irritated with me.

"_We_. Have a problem. You and I, have a problem." He restated and again I turned around to see what was going on in the restaurant. Were we being robbed and I just wasn't noticing? Who the hell robs people at a fast food joint? The people in here usually don't have money-

"-ah!" I yelped slightly as a firm hand grasped my lower jaw and twisted my head back. Kyoya had my face grasped in one hand and the expression on his face had grown even more annoyed since I last saw it two seconds ago.

"You clueless little-" He paused and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and exhaling before opening his eyes again. He hadn't let my face go. His grip on my jaw kind of hurt.

"Look at me. I am speaking to you. Don't look elsewhere. The problem exists between you and me. Understood?" He asked, his grip on my jaw tightening slightly, but I don't think he noticed his hand was doing that. It was making face really sore.

"Kyoya..."

"I asked you if you understood."

"You're..hurting my face.."

"Oh." No apology, no nothing. He simply let my face go and withdrew his hand, clearing his throat before taking a sip of his soda. I tenderly rubbed my jaw and glance at his hand. He had such delicate looking fingers, but I'll be damned if they didn't have a vice like grip. Maybe he wrung the necks of orphan children with his bare hands during his freetime. It seemed like something he'd do. But more interestingly, he had stated that there was a problem between us. Was he talking about the accidental hug? I thought he would have ignored the incident and moved on from it. It wasn't _that_ big of a deal was it? I didn't mean to crash into him. He's the one who ripped the door open and caused everything.

"What's...what's the problem?" I asked, only half interested. I bet it was going to be something stupid like 'I hate the way you breathe' or 'I hate the way you use the salad fork instead of the entree fork'.

"You. You bother me and I don't know why. So tell me why you bother me."

See? I told you it was going to be a stupid question.

"Why are you rolling your eyes at me?" He asked, narrowing his eyes and glaring at me from his demon-like spectacles. I coughed and looked away, not having realized that I actually was rolling my eyes. My face started to turn red at having been caught and I stared at my fries, lamely pushing them around my tray as I hoped this conversation would just sort of...end.

"Well? Why do you bother me and why did you roll your eyes so rudely?" He wasn't going to let anything go. I sighed and leaned my chin against my hand, staring at the really fascinating handkerchief in the pocket of his suit jacket.

"I roll my eyes because everything I do bothers you Kyouya-senpai. You don't like the way I walk, the way I dress, the way I look at you, or even the way I try to have time to myself."

"That's quite arrogant of you to think that I pay that much attention to you." He sneered, taking another sip of his drink and putting it down like the sound of his cup hitting the table were the punctuation emphasis to his sentence.

"Then why did you come back to the boat? You obviously knew I was there. Why come back?" I asked, now feeling a little angry myself at his accusations. All he did was demean me, and yet he had dragged me out here just when I had been enjoying my _one_ night away from all them fuckers. _One night_. All I wanted was _one night_. And he fucked it up. He did more than fuck it up. He fucked it up and now sat me down in a goddamn fast food restaurant and was asking me why my existence inconvenienced him.

He seemed a little surprised by my question, but he quickly recovered, his expression masked over to nothingness once more as he glared at me. I wanted to punch that pretty little face in.

"You see, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Since you're the one bothering me, you should know the answer." He was such a conceited little shit. This time I was well aware that I was rolling my eyes. I stood up and picked up my food tray, my anger towards him giving me courage to spit bullshit back at him.

"I don't know Kyouya. Maybe it's because you're interested in me." And he responded as I expected him to do. He snickered, his smug little grin spreading across his face as if I had just suggested that the moon were made of cheese.

"That's ridiculous, there is nothing about you that would interest me." I dumped all the garbage from my tray onto his, earning a glance up from him as he sat there with his arms crossed above his chest. I dropped the tray onto the table next to his, stepping out of the booth and zipping up my hoody before I responded.

"You see, that's what I figured. I have nothing that interests you. So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone. Why don't you let me hang out in the linen closet for as long as I want next time? How about you don't drag me out of bed while I'm sleeping just so you can take me out on a walk to insult me? Since I have nothing for you, just leave me alone. Trust me when I say I can't wait till summer is over and all of you spoiled little bastards are out of my life again."

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"_Trust me when I say I can't wait till summer is over and all of you spoiled little bastards are out of my life again."_

She then stomped away in her galoshes which would have amused me in any other circumstance, but for the first time in my life, I was bothered by a woman's outrage.

Maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration to put it this way, but I could not wring out the proper vocabulary to put it any other way...I felt...hurt?

_No. That's not it. _

It didn't make any logical sense for someone like her to hurt me. She had nothing to hurt me with; no money, no power, nothing.

Yet, as I sat there in the restaurant looking at the tray she had unceremoniously left with me, I felt disturbed and uncomfortable. Something didn't feel quite right with me at that very moment. Something wasn't right. Nothing was right.

Something felt wrong.

What was wrong?

Something was wrong.

But what?

Quickly I got up and dumped the contents of the trays into the garbage, tossing the trays on top as I rushed out of the store. Looking left and right I searched for the insolent girl, not having much trouble finding her by the distinct sound of her galoshes squishing against the pavement. I walked quickly after her, annoyed that I had to chase down such a bratty child. She was the one who bothered _me_ and she was the one walking away? What gave her the right to walk away like that?

"Stop." I called after her and I knew she had heard me by the momentary pause in her walk, but she continued as if she hadn't, instead, she opted to walk even faster.

_So goddamn stubborn._

I quickened my pace and grabbed her wrist which she wrenched out of my hand with quite the surprising amount of strength.

"Fuck off." She snapped at me, but there was something weird about her voice. Again I had to hustle to catch up with her and this time grabbed her wrist and held on tightly, rendering her struggle futile.

"Look at me." I demanded. She didn't turn around.

"_Look at me._" I demanded through clenched teeth, my grip on her wrist tightening. I couldn't explain why I was getting so angry.

_See? This is what you do? You make me so unbelievably angry. You have a natural talent it seems._

She finally turned to look up at me, but what was shown on her face did not match what I had expected.

Her eyes were brimming with tears and she looked more helpless than angry. Caught off guard, I loosened my grip on her wrist and she pulled her hand out, staring at me as if I had just murdered her family. Why was she the one crying? She's the one who had just insulted me. She's the one who had yelled at me and made _me_ feel uncomfortable. So why was she the one crying?

"Happy? I'm miserable. That's what you wanted isn't it? You couldn't let me be thinking that I was just angry. I had to be miserable too. Well congratulations Kyouya. You're really amazing."

"That's not what-"

"Then what?" She didn't let me finish. She clenched her little hands into fists and she took a step towards me, the raw emotion on her face causing me to take a step back as she did so.

"You didn't get to finish your list of insults? You didn't get to repeat for a third time how my existence is such an inconvenience to you? Is that what?"

"Look, I'm sorry-"

"Shut up. Just shut up. I'm begging you, happy? I'm begging you. Please leave me alone."

The way her voice cracked and pleaded with me so pathetically made me so uneasy that I actually somewhat nauseous. I watched her retreating back as she walked away from me and I tried to sort the thoughts which had begun a torrential downpour inside of my skull, but I couldn't grasp a singular thought. It was like being in the center of four different concerts which were playing simultaneously. I couldn't extract a single melody or grasp any familiar chords. It was just this noise. This noise that fogged up my head and made my temple pound. I reached out blindly inside, trying to find something, anything, a buoy, a liferaft, even a drifting log to hold myself afloat. I grasped nothing, not even water.

I wanted to puke.

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"Usa-chan ate waaaay too much cake! Wasn't that cake delicious Takashi?"

"Ah."

Mitsukuni sprinted around the empty streets, Usa-chan held above his head like a banner. I walked behind him, listening to the odd sounds of the nighttime town mixed with the ocean. There was a faint pitter patter off in the distance which I guessed to have come from Mitsukuni's frantic feet which pounded against the pavement from his sprinting around.

"Haru-chan looked so cute in her dress! And all that dancing was so fun! Usa-chan is going to be so tired when we get back!"

I watched carefully as he sprinted around the road. Luckily this wasn't too busy of a town and there weren't any cars on the road, so I let him enjoy his running around. He paused suddenly in the middle of the road and squinted, putting his hands on his hips as if that would help his vision.

"Hmm...who is that?" He asked and I looked up to see a shuffling figure in the distance. Ah. So that's where that pitter patter sound was coming from. As the figure crossed under a streetlamp, she was briefly illuminated. She looked familiar-

"It's Momo-chan!" He shouted and I saw the figure pause and look up. Even from here I could tell she was trying to decide whether or not to just turn around and walk away as if she hadn't seen us. But as Mitsukuni started running towards her, she had begun to realize that there was no choice. I followed after Mitsukuni, watching him approach the girl and getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach that this probably wasn't a good time.

"Momo-chan! Were you at the party? Usa-chan didn't see you! Momo-chan's cake was delicious! Eh?"

I stopped a few feet behind Mitsukuni after having seen her face. Her eyes were glistening and her face was puffy, but even more so, she seemed utterly exhausted and dejected. I had seen her sad previously before, but I could sense something else this time. This was not a good time to engage her in conversation.

"Momo-chan are you crying?" Mitsukuni tactlessly asked and Momoku smiled, shaking her head.

"Ah no, I ah...have allergies. I was petting a cat and..uh..ah touched my face." She was an awful liar. She looked up at me briefly before clearing her throat and it stunned me. She stunned me. My eyes had widened as I stared at the girl and as uncomfortable as I knew my stare made her, I couldn't stop.

"Oh no! Well maybe-Takashi?" I couldn't really hear Mitsukuni. There was something about the expression on her face that disturbed me so deeply. Something that told me she was hurting pretty significantly.

"Ah." Was all I managed to respond with, still trying to understand what I was looking at in front of me. Mitsukuni gently tugged at my sleeve, momentarily breaking me out of my stupor. Looking down at him, I knew immediately that he understood that there was something going on. He understood what I was feeling. He understood what I wanted.

"Usa-chan and I are going to go to bed first. We will see you and Momo-chan tomorrow." He said gently and he enthusiastically waved goodbye to Momoku who half-heartedly lifted her arm like it were a limp prosthetic. As he rushed past her, I took a step forward and paused. Perhaps she didn't want me here either, perhaps she wanted to be completely on her own. Maybe my presence was bothering her more.

"Are you alright?" I asked and wondered if my question were tactless in its lack of subtlety. Momoku shrugged.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I took a couple more steps towards her, feeling more comfortable as I got closer. Momoku didn't move away from me. Slowly I put my hands on her shoulders and asked her one more time.

"Are you alright?"

She closed the gap between us and my arms naturally hugged her back as she buried her face into my chest. Her body shook from her sobs and trembled as she tried to stifle the noise as much as she could.

I was no longer uncomfortable.

As her tiny frame pressed up against me, I held her tighter to me, allowing her to cry into my shirt. She shook and sobbed uncontrollably, her little hands grasping my shirt to cover more of her face. She was trying so hard to stifle her cries, but it was pointless as we stood there in the middle of an empty street, the only one who would hear her was me. There was no way of being graceful when you cried sincerely. Between her sobs she was hiccuping, between her hiccuping she was sniffling and trying to inhale back the mucus which inevitably was pouring from her nose and being rubbed into my shirt. But I didn't mind. I held her, one hand gently caressing the back of her head while the other rested on the small of her back.

It was an interesting feeling to encompass someone so small. Her emotions were naked and unexplained, but at the moment they didn't need an explanation. I knew what I needed to at that very moment. I knew that she was hurting. The way she buried her face into my shirt were as if she were trying to disappear entirely and her trembles began to slow down. She felt fragile as I held her. To me, she felt cold, broken, and alone. As I held her to me I could feel her warm up and her trembling slow down.

I had never embraced anyone in this manner before.

"Thank you Mori-senpai." She mumbled against my chest and I gently ran my hand through her hair.

"Ah."

And in the dead of the night with not a single witness to see it, I smiled down at the girl who had exhausted herself of her tears in my arms.


	14. Till Never

The next three weeks were mild and uninteresting. Kyouya paid no attention to me and I gratefully returned the favor. It was as if we didn't exist to the other and honestly, it was the best thing that could have happened. Everything went more smoothly and I didn't have to walk around him with a constant fear. It was awesome.

Ever since that night, a strange relationship had started between Takashi, Mitsukuni, and me. I was still apprehensive as ever in front of the other club members, but not in front of Takashi or Mitsukuni. Tamaki still fucked up every now and then and I could hear the shouting matches between him and the twins over Haruhi, but at this point, I started to become accustomed to it all. Slowly but surely, I had become forgotten and got pretty adept at blending into the background.

Here are the directions I've gathered on how to blend into the background:

1. Give Haruhi enough attention so that she doesn't think you're being ignored or shuffled off.

2. Feign interest and become better at feigning happiness and excitement to Haruhi so that she does not feel the need to entertain you or draw more attention to you-because she _will_ try to understand how to make you happy.

3. Keep everything clean and in place so that nobody has a chance to bitch about anything.

4. Instead of telling Tamaki that he's about to fuck up, simply walk over and turn off the machine he's in front of. He won't notice that his controls are not working, he will simply have fun pulling the levers and pushing the buttons.

5. Stay away from Kyouya.

6. Stay away from the twins, especially when they are separated. When Hikaru is by himself, he becomes an even bigger asshole than he already is. When Kaoru is alone he likes to exercise his astute observations of people. Really annoying.

7. Have cake ready. Always have cake ready. Honey-senpai's ability to consume cake surpasses any realm of physical possibility, but it still somehow happens.

8. Avoid your mother. Your mother will apparently remind you at every turn how you should marry one of these rich boys.

I picked up the test headphones in the store and pressed play, pretending to know what 'good audio' sounded like. It played some pop song, but I enjoyed it. The headphones blocked all the other noise which went around me and hugged me gently. Maybe it was the Madonna, maybe it was the amazing acoustics in the way the audio played, but goddamn these headphones sounded good. I smiled, closing my eyes as I pushed the sides of the headphones with the palms of my hands to hold them tighter to my ears.

That was really the amazing thing about music, the way it drowned everything out. If the music were good enough, it drowned out your thoughts, your distractions, the cold, the heat; it consumed you and took the place of your heart, disfiguring the emotions you didn't think you were feeling and bringing it to the forefront. If I were to be dying in a hospital, I would hope to die to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.

When I opened my eyes the world hadn't changed. It was as if time had paused during the few minutes I had closed my eyes to enjoy the music. I was pulled from whatever dream world I was in and back to reality. Pause and resume.

Well, there was one change.

"Ah..hi Kyouya-senpai."

_He really must be the Shadow King._

It was as if he had materialized out of thin air as I found him standing next to me, his fingers apathetically brushing through the CDs. I repressed my urge to jump and flail in shock and instead settled for taking off the headphones and sheepishly putting them down. He didn't look at me.

"I don't see how CDs are still available in stores. It should be impossible to make a profit from CDs. It's such an obsolete thing in this day and age." He said haughtily and I shrugged, not really having an answer.

"Not everyone can afford to have an ipod I guess." I said, my first attempt at a conversation with him in three weeks. I was a bit scared, wondering if talking to Kyouya was a dangerous mistake. It probably was.

"You don't have an ipod? Any sort of mp3 player?" He asked, finally looking at me and I shook my head. He seemed genuinely surprised and it embarrassed me. I never really thought it would be a shock for somebody not to have an mp3 player. It wasn't like..it wasn't like having shoes or something. Of course everyone had shoes, but everyone definitely didn't have an ipod. What kind of planet did he come from?

Oh right. A rich one.

He blinked at me and then cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses before looking away. He went back to shuffling through the obsolete CDs.

"Are you looking for something Kyouya-senpai?" I asked, pretty sure that Kyouya wasn't the type to just wander around aimlessly and stare at racks of CDs for no reason. He paused his hands for a moment and turned to look at me, crossing his arms above his chest and looking me up and down for a moment. I felt like a test subject when he looked at me like that and reactively cringed as if he were about to do something painful to me. At this he arched an eyebrow and sighed.

"I'm not going to eat you. And yes I am looking for something. It appears that my ipod is now an obsolete model. I've come to replace it." He said it so matter of fact that I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. It must be nice to be so privileged. He lifted his hand into the air and snapped his fingers a couple of times and I gasped.

I was horrified.

"Senpai you can't treat people like-"

"Yes sir, can I help you?" I was horrified as the store worker popped up next to Kyouya with a smile, as if snapping your fingers to get somebody's attention weren't the rudest thing on earth. Kyouya glanced down at me before looking at the worker. I bet he was smug. Thankfully, he was nice enough not to show it on his face.

"Yes you can. I want a new ipod. What are we on now? The itouch? Bring me the latest model for that and a pair of good earbuds."

"Oh-of course sir. What color would you like for the itouch? Also what is the price-range you're looking at-" Kyouya waved his hand impatiently at the worker, interrupting his reasonable questions.

"I don't care about the color. Bring the most expensive earbuds. Just bring them now." He said it so curtly that I think even the worker was a little startled, but like a good professional, his smile never faltered as he hurried away. Without thinking, I followed Kyouya to the cash register, mouth still slightly agape at the way he treated the worker. He was pulling his credit card from his pocket.

"People are treated the way they let themselves be treated. Now close your mouth." I obediently closed my mouth, but I was still unhappy with what he had done.

"Kyouya-senpai, they let you treat them like that because they have to pay the rent. If they aren't polite to you they lose a sale and they get fired." I responded, not really believing that somebody as intelligent as Kyouya couldn't understand such a simple thing as having to swallow your pride for your job. He still didn't look at me, he studied the worker as he came back with the items Kyouya asked for.

"Self-respect is free." He said simply before swiping his card through the machine. "Oh, and would you please take them out of the boxes and assemble them for me?" He asked the stunned employee and I was beginning to actually feel embarrassed standing next to him. I didn't want to be associated with Kyouya for the time being. I looked at the employee who was scrounging through the drawer to find a pair of scissors to cut through the thick plastic with and I felt sympathy for him. I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do that. I wanted to tell him that he should just tell Kyouya to fuck off.

But I was too embarrassed to say anything to anyone.

"Here you go sir. Would you like the boxes and receipt in a bag?"

"Yes." Kyouya plugged the earbuds into his ear and turned on the iTouch while the employee did that and I watched as the expression on his face never changed as he listened to the sample songs that the mp3 player came with. He also didn't move from the line. Glancing back, I saw that there was a line beginning to form behind us of people waiting to also pay for things and ask questions. I wanted to tug on his sleeve and get him out of here. Didn't he know the attention he was drawing to himself?

He pulled the headphones out and crumpled them into a heap with the ipod, shoving them into my hands as he sighed.

"Seems like all there is in this store is crap." And without another word he walked out of the store, leaving me with the ipod and headphones. I slowly looked at the employee who stood there stunned as well, holding the bag with the rest of Kyouya's stuff. He glanced at me nervously, holding the bag out to me.

"I can't uh..give a refund without his permission and credit card... So..um..here."

Numbly, I took the bag and walked out of the way of the line, staring at the brand new piece of technology in the palm of my hand.

And I smiled.

I plugged in the headphones and unpaused the song he had been listening to.

I didn't understand why Kyouya went through such an elaborate plan to give this to me, but I was happy.

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x

"Mooooooooommy, our dear daughter is off gallivanting with those twin thugs! How could our daughter leave her daddy to worry like this?!"

I glanced up at Tamaki who draped himself over the couch in a dramatic manner, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and letting a long, drawn out, sigh. I looked back at my tablet and scrolled through the email from my father about another merger and shook my head. Here I was out on a fishing boat with an overdramatic idiot, and my father was attempting to have another merger. I disagreed with the decision, but considered the balance of exercising my power in case my father took it as an act of dominance. A merger with the two smaller factions wouldn't do much, there was no instability when they stood on their own, it would just mean taking more money from them overall and giving the employees less benefits. In the long run it wouldn't be good for the locals.

"Moooommmy, are you not worried for our daughter?!" Came Tamaki's whine from the couch, I sighed and fix my glasses, looking at the overdramatic buffoon.

"Between you and the twins, I actually think she's safer with the twins." I commented and I could almost feel the devastation radiating from him as he curled up in despair on the couch. I flipped through more emails before going back to the web browser. According to online reviews, the Bose earbuds I had bought were the best of the best. For the price I had paid, they better have been.

"Kyouyaaaaa-kun.." Came his whining again. I ignored it.

Did she even have a computer to download songs from? How was she going to get songs onto her ipod when she didn't have a computer? There were only 5 sample songs that came with the damned thing. Was it stupid to give her that ipod with no access to a computer? Surely they had computers even at a commoner's school right? Surely she had a laptop sitting at home somewhere right? If she had a laptop, would she have brought it with her on the fishing trip? People did usually bring their laptops with them wherever they went...

"Kyooooouuuuuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-kun." Again, I ignored it.

Maybe she had a desktop at home. I think it came with a $50 itunes gift card anyway, assuming that she was too daft to know how to download songs for free. I wouldn't put it past her to be too daft. Of course she had a computer at home. Nobody _didn't_ have a computer at home-

"Kyouya." I finally looked up. At some point between his whining and despairing, Tamaki had found the time to make it over to the table I was sitting at and sat across from me, his chin resting on his hand as he looked at me.

"What Tamaki?" I asked somewhat irritably and he leaned in closer, narrowing his eyes and peering at me with great interest.

"You have been distracted." He said and I sighed.

"I'm not distracted. I'm justing ignoring your stupid antics."

"I'm not talking about just now. You've been distracted for almost this entire trip."

"No I haven't."

"Kyouya. What is it?"

"I haven't been distracted Tamaki. Now leave me to do some work-"

"It's Haruhi's friend isn't it?"

I paused, finally looking up from my tablet and staring blankly at the stupid boy who was always able to read me like an open book, regardless of how well I hid myself from everyone else. It was an irritating trait of his. He smiled at me and I felt even more irked. I didn't want to talk about this.

"There's nothing to discuss."

"You like her-wait wait, before you say no. You are at least, interested in her." He said and I scoffed, snorting and waving him away with my hand. What an absurd and stupid thing to think.

"Why would I have an interest in such an average commoner like her? There is not a single thing that is remarkable about her."

"I think she's pretty remarkable to have gotten your attention, don't you think so Kyouya-kun?"

I hated the way he pointed out the things I tried to bury in some deep psychological mudhole. I leaned back in my chair and grinned, having been bested by Tamaki, there was nothing I could do but be honest.

"And so, what if she did catch a miniscule amount of my attention? The summer is over in a couple weeks and we will be going back to Ouran. That will be that. She most certainly didn't catch enough of my attention for me to seek her any farther than this boat." And that was the honest truth. She hadn't. Once we all went our separate ways, I had no intention of visiting her, leaving the town to spend time with her, or anything. Once this stupid fishing trip was over with, I was not going to give her any more thought. She had already wasted enough of my time.

"Ehh? That's it Kyouya?"

"Yes, that is it."

"Are you sure Kyouya?"

"Yes I am sure."

"Are you suuuuuuuuure?"

"Yes."

"Are you really really really su-"

"That is _enough!_" I had said that with a lot more anger than I had intended to and immediately I knew I had made a mistake. Tamaki was grinning from ear to ear having discovered something that set me off. He reached out and put a hand on my arm, looking at me with a genuine smile as he regarded me.

"Kyouya, you have been quite mean to Momoku for most of this trip. I have never seen you be such a terrible host before. Maybe you were being mean to her to convince yourself that you didn't have any interest in her. Regardless, don't you think it's about time you start being nice to her? She is, after all, a princess. All women are princesses when you are part of the Host Club."

I stared, astounded at my friend. I sighed and smiled while looking down at the table.

"Tamaki. You are such an idiot." I said while shaking my head. He started to laughed while running a hand through his hair.

"Aren't I? Hahaha."

My friend spoke the truth and now that I knew there was at least one person I was unable to hide it from, I was forced to be honest with myself. What he said was true.

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x

I watched her lean against the boat railing, a stupid smile on her face as she probably listened to the same song for the 30th time on her new ipod. I made my way to her, leaning against the railing next to her, knowing she'd probably jump once she finally realized I was there.

"Eh! K-kyouya-senpai! I uh didn't see you. I uh. Thank you." See?

"For what?" I asked, knowing full well what she was talking about. She smiled sheepishly and pulled out the headphones from her ears and lifted them up to me.

"For you know...the ipod and headphones...they're really great." She said and I felt a bit of warmth in my chest as she thanked me. I continued looking out to the sea.

"Do you have a computer?" I asked, ignoring her thank you as I moved one with the question that plagued me earlier. She nodded. At least I didn't have to wonder whether or not she'd be able to get more songs on it.

"Ah..uh..yeah. I was going to put more songs on it when I got home." I pulled out my ipad and walked to the table on the deck, motioning for her to follow me as I pulled out the charger cord.

"Give me your ipod."

"Okay...Kyouya-senpai?" Her voice and demeanor were suddenly shy as she handed over the ipod, watching as I plugged it into my tablet.

"Yes?" I began to transfer whatever music files I had to her ipod. It was mostly classical, but I'm sure at some point I had...accidentally downloaded a pop song or two.

"Are you sure that I um..can keep this thing? I mean it was pretty expensive.." I smirked at her question. I had wondered when this question would come up.

"As you have said so many times, us rich bastards don't really worry about money." She blushed at that and brought her knees up to her chest on the chair, hiding her face behind her knees as she peered up at me just over them. After everything finished transferring I unplugged the ipod and handed it to her, getting a good look at her face as I did so.

"You're welcome."

And then something happened.

You know, there was nothing about her really. Nothing special at least. I had hundreds of girls give me that same goddamn smile. The shy, blushing smile that was a mixture of happiness and embarrassment; the smile that came out when you weren't bold enough to quite smile all the way, but too happy to be able to repress it.

That's how she smiled at me.

And I found myself unwittingly at a loss for how to feel.

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x

"Aaah. This is our last day on the boat. I am going to miss having your cake every day Momo-chan!" He exclaimed, looking up at me with these pitiful eyes with cake frosting smeared all across his mouth. I smiled and cut him another slice of cake. He immediately grabbed it, taking another giant forkful and shoving it into his mouth.

"You'll visit right Momo-chan? We'll visit you too! Usa-chan will want to see you!" Honey-senpai shoved his bunny up at me and I giggled, patting the bunny on the head to appease the hyperactive teen. He pushed the bunny closer to my face giving me a 'kiss' with his bunny before pulling it away.

"Usa-chan will miss you." He said sadly and I smiled, pulling my knees up to my chest and I flicked one of the ears on his bunny.

"I will miss him too." I fiddled with the bunny's ears before Honey-senpai abruptly pulled Usa-chan away, staring at me with those large brown eyes brimming with tears. I furrowed my brows at this face. What had I done to deserve this face now?

"But will you miss us too? Will you miss me Momo-chan? What about Takashi? Will you miss Takashi too?" I tried to laugh his questions off but of course I began to blush, hiding my face behind my knees as I looked up at the ever-silent Mori-senpai. I smiled at Honey-senpai before looking back down at my drink in front of me.

"I will miss you Honey-senpai. I will miss Mori-senpai too." It's funny how the more you mean it, the more embarrassed you get about it.

"So you will visit us?" Honey-senpai pushed and I cleared my throat, hoping that the question would have been forgotten.

"Ah..yeah...of course."

"Yay! See Usa-chan? No need to be sad! Momo-chan will come visit us! Uh oh, Usa-chan! We need to go get more cake. We'll be right back Momo-chan!" And just like that the little sugar-high boy disappeared, scampering off towards the kitchen where his back-up cake rested. Yes. Back-up cake.

"You don't want to visit us." Takashi's voice rang like a deep bell and when I looked up at him my face heated up a bit. His stare was expressionless, but I felt no hostility in his voice.

"It's not that I won't miss you. I just...you know...I just don't think I really fit in with..you know..." He seemed to understand. He raised his hand put it on my head, making my pulse skip a couple beats as he ruffled up my hair.

He said nothing and I looked up at him, feeling suddenly very small and childlike. He lifted his hand off my head and rested it on his leg, staring at me without any discernable expression on his face.

_I will miss you the most senpai._

I was going to miss Takashi Morinozuka the most. I was going to miss how amazing it was to see such a tall shadow stretched out across the ground wherever he went. I was going to miss the way he became the buffer between me and the ridiculousness of the rest of the Host Club. I was going to miss the way he helped me pull in the ropes. I was going to miss the way I felt happy around him. I was going to miss looking at his handsome face. I was very much going to miss him.

There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask Takashi Morinozuka, but not a single one seemed appropriate to ask.

Would he miss me?

Would he think of me?

Even though we weren't that close, would he remember me a year later? What about two years later?

Did he like me at all?

Did he know how much I liked him?

Did he know how much I really liked him? You know. _Liked him _liked him. Did he think there was any, _any_, possibility that he could like me back? You know, like me like me.

Of course he wouldn't. Why would someone like Takashi ever look at a girl like me? He was so handsome, wealthy, smart, and nice..he was perfect. And here I was. Stumpy little Momoku. Had about $25 to my name and was pretty damn happy when my GPA was a 3.0. I didn't exactly reach for the stars.

"You're frowning." He stated and it startled me, causing me to sputter a bit and turn a lovely shade of red. I hadn't noticed that my facial expressions had been following my silent thought process. I must have looked like an idiot.

"Ah. Yeah..um..yeah-"

"Takashi! Hurry! Tama-chan caught a HUGE fish!" Shouted Honey-senpai, sprinting towards us and waving his arms frantically.

I took that as my cue to leave.

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x

It looked like it was about to rain.

I didn't mind. It was a pretty happy day for me.

They were going to leave today.

I would never again have to hear "CAN WE HAVE MORE CAKE MOMO-CHAN?!" or "Stupid commoner" ever again. I wouldn't have to deal with that Tamaki idiot or the Hitachiin jerks. I wouldn't have to cower in fear every time I even _thought_ Kyouya was around the corner. And despite the fact that I would sorely miss Mori-senpai, it was a sacrifice I was very willing to make.

I looked at Haruhi. She was sitting on the bed next to me reading while I flipped through my ipod. Was she still scared of thunderstorms?

It seemed like it was going to be a big storm. I glanced at Haruhi again. If I remembered correctly, she wasn't just a little scared of thunderstorms. If I remembered correctly, she was absolutely terrified of thunderstorms. In middle school she used to hide in the bathroom stalls with her fingers plugged into her ears. Not even the principal could get her to budge from her spot. She would become paralyzed with fear, shaking and trembling-it was the only time I had ever witnessed Haruhi vulnerable. If Haruhi were Superman, thunderstorms would be her Kryptonite.

The rain started to fall.

"Is it raining?" She asked and immediately I knew. She was still terrified of thunderstorms.

I considered letting her flounder on her own. She'd probably run to the bathroom and lock herself in there, curl up into a ball and shake pathetically in the corner. A part of me wanted that to happen. A part of me wanted to see that pathetic Haruhi, crying and trembling on the floor. Maybe I would even knock on the door and ask if everything were alright, pretending like I didn't know what was actually going on in there.

But I couldn't do it.

I took the earbuds from my ears and put my hand on her book, pushing it down so that she'd look at me instead of the window.

"Haruhi, I have something to show you."

"I don't know, I think we should-"

"Haruhi, please trust me."

And stupidly, she did. Why did Haruhi trust me? I had done nothing to earn her trust over the course of this trip. Why would she so foolheartedly risk facing her worst fear and trust me?

She took my hand and we quickly ran to the back of the boat as the rain pounded against the deck just above us. I could feel her hold tighten and I reassuring tightened my grip on her hand as well. As we came to the supply closets I opened the linen closet door.

The look she gave me almost pained me. For the briefest moment in time, I remembered what it was like to be her friend. To _sincerely_ be her friend. Neither of us needed words to express what we felt-even after all these years we heard each other through the silence.

_You remembered_. Her face said.

_Thank you_. Her smile said.

As we huddled into the closet I closed the door, the darkness shrouding us like a blanket. I lifted the earbuds and put them into her ears. I pressed play on the ipod.

Through the light which filtered through the slits of the door I could see Haruhi's body relax, her shoulders drop and her eyes close. With these earbuds she wouldn't hear a thing. Kyouya had bought the most expensive noise-cancelling earbuds and they obviously were doing what they were made to do. She leaned her head against my shoulder, her rapid breathing slowing down to a calm, regular pace. I leaned my head on hers in return, feeling an ache in my chest as I did so.

I felt fake.

I felt like a fraud.

"Haruhi..." I whispered, knowing she couldn't hear me. Of course, she didn't respond.

"I'm sorry Haruhi." I continued, staring at the thin strips of light which squeezed their way in.

"I never really liked you Haruhi. I've always hated you. I still do. I will probably never like you." I confessed to the girl who was now deaf to the world. I glanced down, her breathing had slowed down even more. She was falling asleep.

"It's not your fault though, it's mine. Even though your mom passed away, you were still so amazing and strong. You were always leagues ahead of us in intellect and maturity, and it's obvious that you still are." I paused, carefully considering my next few sentences, despite there being no witnesses to this confession.

"I wanted to be you. I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be something special like you. But I just wasn't special. I was shit at math and I still am. I couldn't remember the dates in history and I sure as hell didn't know what the hell was happening in biology. I wasn't good at anything, but you were. You weren't just good at everything, you were great." My hands found themselves balled up into fists as I spoke to the unhearing girl.

"At least once a month somebody would confess their love to you and without batting an eye you rejected them. Do you know how many times a boy ever confessed to me? Never. Nobody ever felt about me the way they felt about you." Her head was heavier now, letting me know that she had fallen asleep. Outside, I could hear the thunder roar.

"I wish you had never come back into my life. Now that I see you're doing so well and still have boys wrapped around your thumb so effortlessly. I wish you had never stepped foot onto this boat. I wish I had never met you. I wish I had never met your Host Club. I wish I had never learned about all the things I would never have. When you leave tomorrow, I promise that I will do my best to never see you again. I will do whatever it takes to go back to my old, boring, life and never let you disturb it, not even for a moment. I hope I never see you again Haruhi Fujioka."

_I'm sorry_.


	15. Stupid Changes

"Why of course I believe in love."

"Oh..oh I see..."

I poured my 'princess' another cup of tea, noting her light blush as she nodded her thanks, gloved hand delicately picking up the cup and lightly blowing at the steam. Her name was Margaret Hamdan. Her father was an oil tycoon from Saudi Arabia and her mother was a beautiful French actress who had debuted in several hit movies back in the late 1970s. Their genetic mixture had created the black-haired, green-eyed beauty which sat before me, a rosy color tinging her otherwise pale-colored face and her lips curving into a shy smile.

"Why do you ask me about love Miss Margaret? Has anything caused your interest?" I asked, causing her blush to deepen as she stared at her tea. She stammered and gracefully put a hand over her mouth as she looked away.

"Oh senpai...you know how to tease a girl." She said, her voice sounding like a porcelain bell. I smiled at her, taking a sip of my tea.

"My apologies madam. I did not mean to tease. Perhaps you'd like to change the topic." This is when I saw her bolder side emerge. She crossed her legs and put the teacup back onto the table, smile no longer shy. She also made eye contact with me.

"Not at all. In fact, I would be most pleased if you would tell me what you know about love. Have you experienced it?" She asked and I knew immediately what she was attempting to do. She was attempting to get a reaction from me, some sort of personal connection that no other girl possibly had achieved before. I politely smiled.

"I unfortunately have not experienced it. At my age I don't believe I am mature enough to understand or recognize the love you are talking about."

She wasn't one to be so easily swayed.

"But you don't have to understand love to feel it. I don't believe there is an age requirement on love."

"We all have different definitions of love. The definition of love is a personal thing. According to my definition, I have yet to feel it."

She cocked her head.

"And what is your definition?"

"Sacrifice. The willingness to sacrifice everything. I have yet to come across the feeling so strong that I was willing to give up everything."

"Oh." And with that, she became disappointed, but not defeated. She immediately picked her smile back up as I imagined she had practiced in front of a mirror a thousand times.

"Do you like looking at the stars at night?"

* * *

I rubbed the inner corners of my eyes as I reviewed the finances of the Host Club. I understood that this club wasn't meant as an organization to raise money, but like clockwork, we always only managed to come out with a $550.00 monthly profit. That was chump change. That wasn't enough money to feed Mitsukuni for a week. I closed the the finances file on my ipad, accidentally swiping my finger across the other application buttons and bringing up iTunes.

Fucking iTunes.

I knew that frantically clicking the center square button would be futile until the program finished loading.

**Would you like to update to the latest iTunes V6.9.1?**

No I would not.

I dismissed it and was about to close the program when I paused.

I didn't recall ever downloading these songs.

_Ah. That dumb girl._

That commoner girl hadn't realized that she was still logged into my account when she synced up her ipod with her computer, automatically using my account on her computer as well. Apparently she was slow with technology as well.

_What interesting tastes._

I scrolled through the music she put on it, well over a thousand songs. There was a good chunk of American music, Korean music, Japanese music...and a spattering of European techno. Typical I guess.

_Playlists..._

She had exactly 5 playlists.

1. Gym

2. Study

3. Pop

4. Love

5. Rooftop

The first four seemed pretty common. A playlist to exercise to, a playlist to study to, a playlist of all the embarrassing music you didn't want to let people know you listened to, a playlist for 'love'...but rooftop? I clicked it open and found myself unfamiliar with most of the songs on this playlist as they were either American or Korean. I played the first song, forgetting that I had not muted the volume.

The slow guitar playing echoed around the mostly empty Club Room, catching the attention of the Club members who happened to linger after the Host Club had finished for the day. Before I could move to pause the song or turn the volume down, Tamaki had sprinted to me, completely invading my personal space and leaned over my shoulder, his chest resting on the back of my head. I swear, for someone who was supposed to have been brought up properly, he had absolutely no manners. But I guess that was all a part of friendship.

"Ehhhh Kyouyaaa...I didn't know you listened to American music. Who is this Jeh...Jeh-ffu...Jeh-fu Buh...Buh-ku...Buh-ku-lee? I grinned in amusement at his horrific pronunciation of the English language. I straightened my glasses.

"It's Jeff Buckley. The song is called Hallelujah."

"Ah...I didn't know you liked American music."

"I thought I might culture myself." I bullshitted, now letting the song play out as I found myself somewhat enjoying the tune.

"_**I heard there was a secret chord...that David played and it pleased the lord, but you don't really care for music do ya?"**_ None of the other club members seemed interested besides Tamaki, so I let the song continue. The twins were discussing something with each other, probably concocting some other hairbrained scheme to get under Tamaki's skin, Haruhi had already left to go study, Takashi had left for Kendo practice and Mitsukuni was peacefully napping on the couch. It was an okay song. It was a little more than okay.

"_**It goes like this the fourth, the fifth..the minor fall and the major lift. The baffled King composing Hallelujah..."**_

"_**Haaallelujaaah...Haa-aaalleluuujah."**_

"_**Haalleluuujah...Haa-aa-lle-lu-u-u-uu-u-ujah."**_

"This is a nice song Kyouya. I didn't think you'd listen to a song like this. You always struck me as an opera and classical only type." He said, his chest still resting on the back of my head. I grabbed his right ear and pulled, earning a squeal of pain as I pulled him off of me and to the side.

"Let's not use the back of my head as your resting board." I said dryly, receiving a sheepish grin from Tamaki in return. I paused the song and closed the iTunes program, not wanting to play the rest of the songs in front of any witnesses. I couldn't explain why, but I didn't want anyone else to hear them at the same time I was hearing them. I wanted to be the first and the only. Tamaki reached out to push the play button on my ipad but I quickly smacked his forehead with the palm of my hand, making him stop still.

"Kyouya-kuuuunnnnn."

"No. Besides, it is about time you do your English homework. It's obvious you haven't been studying at all."

"But Kyouyaaaa."

"No. I have to go do some work."

And it was the truth. I packed everything neatly into my briefcase and glanced at my watch. 45 seconds till the limo would arrive. It would take 20 seconds to get through the hallways, 10 seconds to go down the stairs, and 5 seconds to leave this room. I would be exactly on time.

As I walked through the hallways I mulled over the thought of the Morinaga profits since the merger. Profits had increased 10% and the CEO was letting it get to his head. I had sources telling me that they had overheard him saying that a _child_ was running the Ootori empire and that this _child_ needed to be taught manners and how to run a business. I smiled. 25 seconds had passed. I was 5 seconds ahead of time on reaching the stairs.

What a thought, the CEO of a company that was about to sink wanting to teach a lesson to the _child_ who saved it. Perhaps I'd call in a one-to-one meeting and discuss how he would like to continue running his sub-division. Perhaps I'd demote him. Or even better, maybe I'd cut the Ootori contribution to his salary and let his salary come strictly from the Morinaga budget. He'd probably have a hernia over that. The limo pulled up and out came my butler, opening the door and bowing as he greeted me.

"Ootori-sama." I merely waved my hand in response before getting into the limo. I brought out my own ipod and synced it, updating itself of the music that the commoner girl had added to my account. I went back to that playlist.

Plugging my headphones in I stared at the glowing screen which began to contrast more against the darkening light of the looming rain clouds. I pressed play.

It had been about two and a half weeks since I had last encountered Momoku. When we had said our goodbyes, she had bowed to me as if we were complete strangers having met and saying goodbye for the first time. She had hugged Haruhi and when Haruhi asked, she agreed to keep in touch. I knew that was utter bullshit, but Haruhi didn't. The twins hadn't even bothered to say goodbye and neither did she. Tamaki had made it more dramatic than necessary, getting down on one knee and taking her hand to his lips.

"_Mon ami. Toujours dans mon cœur."_ He whispered to her. I had rolled my eyes. She hadn't understood a word, but she knew enough to blush.

After that goodbye we had begun to depart, but not before I had caught the last and most interesting goodbye of all. Takashi had lingered behind and handed her something, saying something to her in a low enough voice that I was unable to hear what he said. I had found myself staring, watching as her face turned bright red (nothing new). I watched as she smiled. I watched as Takashi leaned down and whispered something into her ear.

I looked down at the abrupt increase in volume and noticed that my hand had been tightening around my ipod, consequently pushing the volume button.

_Did they have some sort of romantic relationship?_

It sure seemed that way, the way he treated her. I had never witnessed the Morinozuka boy to be affectionate towards anyone besides Mitsukuni and so the entire thing had been incredibly unusual to me. What did Takashi see in her to feel the need to give her that extra attention? What had he given her before he left? It wasn't anything big enough that she couldn't hold it with just one hand. She obviously felt affection for the Morinozuka boy, but she was an idiot girl who would feel affection for any remotely attractive male who gave her the time of day.

Mitsukuni had asked Haruhi how 'Momo-chan' was doing just the other day and she had responded that she hadn't been able to contact her since the summer. There was no surprise there.

"Ootori-sama, we have arrived home."

"Actually, I'm about to input an address into the GPS. Please bring me here if you would." I said, typing out the address into the screen which wirelessly synced with GPS. As the GPS showed the address I watched my driver hesitate, wondering for a split-second as to why we would go to a place an hour away.

"Ootori-sama, we may be late for dinner by the time we return." He said as if I needed a reminder.

"I'm fully capable of telling time. Please do as I have requested Mr. Hinobi." I said, slightly irked that he would even consider hesitating to do what I asked.

"Of course Ootori-sama. Right away."

* * *

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x

I grumbled to myself as I carried the plastic bag of groceries, wondering why I couldn't have gone to the movies too. My parents had decided that they wanted to take the entire day off at a spa and then the movies. They were acting as if they suddenly had loads and loads of money to spend and it irritated the shit out of me.

Yes, because of the boat that the Host Club had lent us for the summer we had made way more money than we ever had in the past, that was true. It was actually the reason why we were moving to a new and better place. With the money we had made along with the money we had been saving, my parents were finally able to buy a condo in a somewhat nicer area. It was only about 45 minutes away from here so I wasn't going to be changing schools or anything...but I was left with the task of packing up most of our stuff as my parents eloped off to enjoy their adult lives for the day.

Stupid day.

Stupid umbrella which felt like there was a leak somewhere in it.

Stupid groceries.

Stupid limo blocking half the road.

Why was there even in a limo near my apartment complex? It was just parked alongside the road as if it owned the place. Stupid limo.

As I passed the parked limo I gave the tire a good kick with my foot, venting my frustrations out as I felt satisfied.

_That'll show the stupid limo._

When I reached my apartment door I was fumbling through my pockets for my keys when I heard an unfamiliar 'ding' coming from my pocket.

_That's unusual. I left my cell phone at home._

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the only thing that would be capable of making any noise, my ipod. As I unlocked the screen I stared at the text message which stared back at me.

**I would appreciate it if you'd refrain from kicking my tires in the future.**_._

I froze.

We could get text messages on an ipod? Was that possible? Obviously it was possible, I was looking right at one.

The number was unfamiliar, but the way the words were phrased were not. This sounded oddly like.

"Oh no." I said to myself, looking down over the railing at the limo which was still parked on the road. As the windows were tinted and the rain clouds were blocking the sun, I couldn't see anyone inside, but I didn't have to see to make an educated guess.

_He's come for my liver. He's come for my kidneys. Or worse, he's come to take back his ipod._

I frantically unlocked my apartment door and rushed in, locking the door behind me as I tossed the groceries onto the counter. I ignored the way half of the contents slid out of the bag and fell onto the floor. Maybe, just _maybe_, if I ignored the fact that the Shadow King was sitting out there in his limo on the street, then he would go away. What was he doing here anyway? Didn't he have a multi-billion dollar empire to run? Is this what billionaires did during their free time? Torture innocent civilians?

I bet Kyouya had a dungeon full of bones of orphan children. I wouldn't put it past him. He probably made weekly sacrifices and that's why his skin was so inhumanly perfect.

My ipod dinged again. I was kind of scared to look at it.

**It's rude not to invite your guest inside.**

I blinked at the message and felt a slight panic. He wanted to come inside? He didn't really want to come inside did he? Was he just fucking with me? He was probably just fucking with me. During our time on the boat it seemed like that was one of his favorite past times.

I began to type a response.

_Ack. No._

I deleted it.

If I ignored his message, would he give up and go away? What did he want from me?

Was Kyouya the type of person to be ignored?

I tried to type a response again.

_No no no._

I deleted it again.

Oh God...what did he want from me-

_**Knock knock knock.**_

All I felt was dread.

The dread filled me up and the two seconds I waited felt like an hour. My heart began to race as I tried to think of a way out of this. I glanced at the window but immediately felt like a moron. Even if I did climb out the window, there would be no point. The window was right next to the goddamn door because I lived in a fucking apartment complex.

_Baka. Baka baka baka. Baka._

_**Knock knock knock.**_

The knocking repeated itself and I slowly approached the door, trying not to make any noise with my footsteps. Maybe...maybe he hadn't seen me go into the apartment? Maybe he would think he had the wrong apartment?

Impossible. Kyouya Ootori was too observant.

Slowly, I unlocked the door.

Even more slowly, I turned the doorknob and opened the door, revealing what looked to be my worst nightmare.

"Ah...Ootori-san...I wasn't expecting you."

"You took your time opening the door." He remarked and I gave a nervous laugh, reaching back and scratching the back of my head.

"Ah..uh..I was surprised. I um...wasn't expecting anyone."

"Are you going to keep me standing at your doorway?"

_I would like to._ I thought to myself, but he shot me a look so alarming that I was only 46% sure that he wasn't able to read my mind. I stepped back and let him in, closing the door after him and effectively shutting out the sound of the rain. Nervously I began to wring my hands together, wondering what it was that brought the Shadow King to my door. I thought I was done with all the Host Club's funny business.

"So..Ootori-san..um..why are you uh..why are you here?" I asked and he acted as if he hadn't heard it. Instead he was looking around at the mostly empty apartment, noting the boxes which were stacked upon one another.

"You're moving." He stated rather than asked. Did I have to confirm? Did he need my confirmation? If I said no, he'd ask why everything was in boxes. So I stayed silent. He walked around my apartment, inspecting the boxes along with the mostly empty rooms. Wasn't it rude to just intrude like this? And on top of that, walk around inspecting someone's dwelling uninvited? I stood there impatiently, waiting for the reason as to why he had decided to barge into my house like this. Shadow King Kyouya Ootori never did anything without reason.

* * *

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x

I had absolutely no reason to be here.

As I walked around the very modestly sized apartment, my mind was racing as I walked through my compartmentalized brain, searching for an adequate answer as to why I had shown up to the girl's door. Even _I_ didn't know why I had asked my driver to bring me here. Perhaps it was curiosity. Perhaps I had just wanted to see what the commoner was up to since she was unwilling to answer any of Haruhi's attempts at contact.

Or perhaps it was a mild fear.

A fear that I would indeed never see the stupid girl ever again. Not that it'd affect my life in any way if I never saw her again. I didn't need to see her again. There was no reason for me to see her again. It's not like we had shared anything or had any sort of connection.

_And yet, I am here._

"Ootori-san..." I noted how she had reverted back to the old honorifics. At one point on the ship she had felt comfortable enough to call me Kyouya-senpai, but now we were back to Ootori-san as if we were nothing but of the farthest acquaintances.

_We are nothing but acquaintances._ I reminded myself. Not that I needed to.

"Yes, the reason as to why I am here." I sat down on an available mat on the floor, crossing my legs as I quickly surveyed the cleanliness of where I sat. It would do. I looked up at the girl who nervously stood several feet away from me as if afraid that if she got any closer I would attack her. I arched an eyebrow and she slowly made her way over, seating herself on a mat across from me. She still kept a distance of at least 5 feet between us.

_The reason as to why I am here..._

_The reason..._

_Yes..._

_The reason is..._

"The Host Club would like your catering services. Honey-senpai has been frequently requesting your cakes and has spread quite the word about it so much that our other customers would very much like to try your pastries."

"No."

She hadn't even waited a _second_ before answering no. She hadn't even hesitated. There was no stutter, no hint of possibility or thought of consideration. That 'no' came immediately and with an uncharacteristic amount of confidence. I blinked.

"Perhaps you would reconsider if you learned about the compensation-"

"No."

"You should at least consider-"

"No."

I could now feel myself wanting to strangle the girl who sat across from me. Whatever nervousness she was feeling before had disappeared, being replaced with resolute stubbornness that I wasn't too sure how to deal with. She pursed her lips at me and had her hands clenched into fists above her knees.

_There must be a possibility for negotiation._

"Before you interrupt me-Ah!" I put up a hand, my the tone of my voice taking on a more stern quality to silence the girl and it worked, but she kept her hands clenched.

"As I was saying. You should consider this. Not only would you be compensated, but I am willing to simultaneously deduct an amount equivalent to your compensation, from your friend's debt. This would help not only yourself, but also Haruhi."

"No."

She hadn't even taken a breath before spitting out that 'no'. I was growing very irritated now. I leered at the stubborn idiot in front of me, maintaining my composure as I smiled at her.

"Why do you say no?" I asked calmly, still offering her my smile but she seemed a little extra intuitive today. My smile had no effect on her. She did not move nor did her unhappy expression falter.

"I don't care about your compensation. I don't care about Haruhi's debt."

"But surely as you are her friend-"

"I have already told you once before, I am not her friend. My feelings have not changed over the course of the summer. My answer is no and my answer will always be no." Interesting.

"Why is that?" I asked, now my interest being piqued slightly more. Surely this girl living in this tiny apartment with her parents would be interested in money? She could buy shoes, clothes, bags, jewelry..she could buy things she wasn't able to afford on the allowance her parents gave her (assuming her parents gave her any). This was a great opportunity for her.

"Because I said so. I don't give a sh-I don't care about your money." She had quickly caught herself before cursing at me. I mulled over the fact that as her father was a fisherman, that she was essentially raised by a sailor. Maybe that's why she cursed so ungracefully like one.

But it still didn't change the fact that she was giving me an unsatisfactory answer.

"That is fair enough. I will leave the matter alone and not ask you again, _if_-" I paused for a moment, watching the way she narrowed her eyes at me at the ever foreboding 'if'. It gave me a strange sense of amusement to see this. "-_if_ you give me the detailed reason as to why you're rejecting my offer."

She cleared her throat and stared at the floor for a minute, clenching and unclenching her hands as I watched her tiny little brain work overtime. She slowly looked back up at me.

"I will give you my detailed reason, if you give me your detailed reason as to why you are asking me to do this."

I refrained from laughing.

"As I said, Honey-senpai has spread word about your pastry prowess and-"

"-No. Not your bullshit reason. I know you could have had some professional baker make the cakes and he'd never know the difference. Tell me why it _has_ to be _me_, that makes these cakes. I know you think I'm an idiot Ootori-san, but I go to a public high school, I've gotten pretty used to identifying bullshit. And what you're giving me now, is absolute bullshit."

I stared at the girl who now suddenly felt very unfamiliar to me. This was a momentary glance into something much deeper than I had ever expected to exist in someone I had underestimated as a simpleton. The girl who sat across from me at this very moment, I had no clue who she was or where she had come from. She had a small sense of ruthlessness as she spoke to me-an astute and very cutting personality that I was not aware resided within her. What would bring about such a personality? What invoked this reserved and untapped confidence from this girl? I straightened my glasses, peering at her with much more interest now.

"You are very resolute in having no part of the Host Club." I stated but she did not confirm or deny. She stared at me silently, her hands finally settling on staying clenched above her knees.

That was it.

Her desire to stay away from the Host Club, from Haruhi...from us, was what had given her the ability to speak up. Her dislike for us was so intense that it had taken priority over her fear of us.

_Fascinating._

"I see that you will not change your mind from your current decision. Have a good night then."

I stood up and walked towards the door, glancing back only to see that she had not moved from her position. She wasn't even going to get up and open the door for me. She stared at the ground with her hands clenched and back stiffly upright. I opened the door and walked through it, gently closing it behind me as I stared out into the rain.

_Curiouser and curiouser._

My butler had run up to me with an umbrella, leading me to get inside the limo as I reviewed the course of events which had just occurred.

She was not going to change her mind. Not for money, not for friendship...not for anything.

_How interesting._

As my driver started the car to begin driving, I pulled out my phone.

"Back to the house Ootori-sama?"

"Yes."

The number that was calling me was an unexpected one.

"Yes? What drove you to call me all of a sudden?"

"_**I need a favor."**_

* * *

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x

"Otooosan. Okaaasan. I'm home." I called from the door of our new condo. It had taken me about 4 tries to get the code right as I wasn't exactly used to technology deciding whether or not I get to open my door.

"Mm. We're in the living room. Hurry up, we have good news for you!" I heard my mother call and I got excited, hustling a bit and kicking off my shoes to the side somewhat recklessly. Maybe they got me the new laptop that I had been asking for?! My current laptop was starting to make some very suspicious noises. It kind of sounded like death. Just a little bit. I ran to the living room, big smile on my face as my socked slid me across the floor in dramatic fashion. My mother was grinning from ear to ear and my father, as usual, was expressionless. They were sitting on the ground at the table, a cardboard box about 15 inches in length and 8 inches tall sat in the center.

_THEY REALLY GOT ME A NEW LAPTOP?!_

"Whatisitwhatisitwhatisitwhatisit?!" I asked breathlessly, lunging for the box. My mother looked more and more excited as I reached for it while my father's lips twitched slightly towards a smile. As I grabbed it and picked it up I almost threw the box as it was deceptively light. My smile faltered slightly as I gently shook the box. It wasn't as heavy as I expect a laptop to be..in fact it was extremely light. I looked up at my parents somewhat confused, but my mother looked as excited as ever.

_AN IPAD? DID THEY GET ME AN IPAD?!_

I punctured the shipping tape with my nails and ripped it off, tearing off the cardboard top and excitedly plunging my hands into the packing peanuts to feel-

-something soft.

The smile dropped from my face.

I squeezed what felt like cloth in my hands and felt incredibly confused.

"What in the world..." I said to myself as I pulled out this hideously yellow dress. My mother began to clap and my father cleared his throat as I pulled the dress completely out of the box.

_What the fuck is this bullshit?_

"Um...it's not really my..um...style..." I said hesitantly, standing up as I held the dress to my chest, trying to see what it would look like on me. It was a floor length yellow dress with a white collar and a red ribbon around the neck. At the shoulders was this giant puff in the dress.

This was the ugliest dress I had ever fucking seen.

"It's your new school uniform!" My mom pretty much squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly.

"Ah yes...congratulations. This is excellent news." My father concurred next to her.

I was horrified.

"W...what? Sorry..._what?_" I threw the dress onto the ground as if it were on fire, staring at my parents completely horrified. They had to be shitting me. My mother reached out and picked up the dress, dusting it off and neatly folding it onto the table.

"Now don't you get that dirty!"

"Forget the dress mom. _What_ are you talking about? My...my uniform?" I asked incredulously. Surely they had to be mistaken. What school would have such an ugly uniform? Why would I be changing schools? We were still close enough and within the district for my current high school, why would we transfer me?

"Yes! I told you that it was important to make good connections and now look!"

"_What_ are you talking about mom? I'm looking at the ugliest dress I've ever seen! What connections?" I was beginning to become a little panicked at the situation. I had no clue what was going on but my parents seemed to be pretty damned pleased. My mother reached over the table and smacked my leg, signalling me to sit down and calm down. I sat down. But I did not calm down.

"It is _not_ an ugly dress. It is quite pretty. And I am talking about your friends from the summer. Your father and I received a called from the Ouran High School telling us that you've been accepted into the school and your tuition has been fully paid."

_No._

_No._

_No._

I was horrified. I was mortified. I was all sorts of words ending with -fied. As my parents stared at me happily I found that they suddenly resembled hyenas, looking at me with intensely hungry eyes. I slowly stood up, backing away a couple steps as I replayed the conversation in my head. The moment I stepped through the door I had been pretty happy, how did everything go so badly within a matter of minutes?

"No." I said and my father cleared his throat again, tapping his hands against the table as he studied me. I knew that face.

"This is not up for debate. Ouran High School is the top ranked high school in the entire country. Your future will be secured if you graduate from here-"

"No."

"Now you listen here young lady!" He shouted at me, slamming his hands down onto the table, causing my mother and I to flinch at the sudden noise. This was his 'no-nonsense' tone. He pointed a finger at me.

"This is an _excellent_ opportunity. It would be stupid to reject such a great opportunity. You'll ruin your own future and would dishonor your parents if you didn't go-"

"NO NO NO!" I screamed back, feeling tears well up as I argued back. I had a pretty argument. I figured if I repeated the word 'no' enough, I would eventually get my way.

Not really.

"THAT'S IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" He shouted and I angrily leaned down and smacked the dress off of the table.

"I HATE YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO THAT STUPID SCHOOL!" I shouted back, knowing that I had pushed it too far, but my frustration had most certainly outweighed my fear of my parents. My father stood up, his face red with anger as he pointed at my room.

"YOU'RE GROUNDED! YOU'RE GOING TO THAT SCHOOL AND THAT'S FINAL!"

"I HATE YOU! I WON'T GO!" I screamed and turned around, grabbing my bag off the counter and heading towards the door. I could hear my father coming to follow me.

"And where do you think you're going young lady?!" He shouted at me but I had already made it to the door, opening it and slamming it shut behind me as I sprinted out of the condo and down the hallway. I kicked open the stairwell door and hopped down the stairs, skipping every other one as I wiped at my face in frustration.

_They can't make me go there. They can't make me go to that stupid school._

I ignored the doorman, walking past him and kicking the lobby door open before quickly walking down the street. I had no idea where I was going.

_They can't make me go there. They can't. I won't go to that stupid school._

I was pissed off that it was a beautiful day. The sun was still shining brightly and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. You'd think that the weather would have more consideration for my feelings.

It's not like I didn't know what a great school it was. It's not like I didn't know how hard it was to get into that school. It's not like I didn't know that in the long run, it would probably be the best thing to happen for my future.

I knew all that.

But I didn't care about any of that.

Why couldn't I decide what I wanted to do with my own life? Wasn't I old enough to get to say no? Why did my parents get to have all the say in which school I went to? It's not like they were going to that school. They wouldn't be the ones attending the classes or eating by themselves during lunch. They wouldn't be the ones who had to make brand new friends in a school full of people with way more money than they knew what to do with. I probably wouldn't make any friends at that school. I'd have nothing in common with them.

_They'd probably be all 'Oh no, I forgot my caviar in my Louis Vuitton purse'. _

I mockingly thought in my head.

_Not that they would put caviar in a purse..._

"Hey! Watch it!" Someone yelled at me as I bumped into someone's shoulder. I glared at their retreating back before taking a moment to look at where I had walked to. Nowhere really. Just towards the train station.

It was 4:03PM.

I had nowhere to go, an ipod, 53 cents leftover from my lunch money, and my chest was starting to hurt. I needed to calm down.

I knew that I would have to go home soon. I'd get hungry and my mother would probably beat the shit out of me if I came home too late. I mean...she wouldn't beat the shit out of me per se...but she'd definitely give a few good smacks and I would be grounded for life. I was probably already grounded for like a month.

_But how could they do this to me?!_

I flared up in anger again, the pain in my chest starting up again as I stood in the middle of the sidewalk, enraged and lost in my own head. I hated everything. I hated everyone.

I made my way to a bench and sat down, wincing at the pang in my chest.

_I really need to calm down._

Plugging my headphones in, I pulled out my ipod and hugged my knees to my chest as the music began to play.

_**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone. It's not warm when she's awaaaayyy.**_

Listening to the song, I regretted playing my Rooftop playlist, but I was too unwilling to change it. The music gave me the opportunity to stop panicking, allowing me to start thinking of the questions with much more difficult answers than the ones I had been asking before-such as:

_Who did it?_

_Somebody_ had to have requested that I be put into Ouran High School. _Somebody_ had to have paid for my tuition. I sure wasn't going there on some fancy ass academic scholarship. Unless suddenly having average grades was something spectacular. Did Haruhi ask her stupid boy Tamaki? Did she perhaps ask him to get me into the school? He was wrapped around her thumb enough that he would do it in a heartbeat and pay for it. It's not like he'd miss the money. His father ran the school didn't he? He'd have an easy time getting me in there.

I couldn't see Haruhi doing something so diabolical though. It was very unlike her to get into anyone else' business like this in such a secretive way.

_Could it possibly...could it possibly have been Mori-senpai?_

_No. No way._

Takashi Morinozuka would have _never_ done this to me. He knew how I felt about the Host Club and the people who attended his school. He would never have brought me into it without asking me. I couldn't imagine Mori-senpai being so cruel.

_Cruel..._

Kyouya Ootori.

_No way._

What could Kyouya Ootori gain from dragging me into Ouran High School? He knew very well my opposition to the Host Club. Even if he enrolled me in the school, I felt that he was smart enough to know that I'd still say no to baking any cakes for him. He didn't even like me. He repeatedly told me I wasn't very bright. Why would he have any reason to bring me to the school?

_It couldn't be Kyouya._

Then who did that leave?

_The twins are absoutely out of the question._

I knew for a fact that the twins wanted me as far away from their precious Haruhi and Host Club. They had even told me that they wanted me gone.

_So that leaves..._

Honey-senpai?

Could it possibly be, that underneath the sweet, cake-loving, innocent face, there was a scheming little bastard inside?

_No way_.

Honey-senpai had absolutely nothing to gain from me attending their school anyway. Yes, we did get along, but we never became friends. The thought of him enrolling me into Ouran in the first place to bake him cake was also absurd.

Though he did ask Kyouya to recruit me to make more cake.

No. Nope. There was no way it was Honey-senpai. I didn't see it in him to make something like this happen.

_But then...who?_

My stomach grumbled.

I sighed.

I had to go home eventually.

* * *

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x

"Open the door young lady." I heard my mother calling from the other side. I didn't budge.

"No." I shouted, my voice muffled somewhat by the pillow. I could hear the doorknob rattle slightly as my mother tried the door. Her exasperated sigh was so loud that I wondered if she had intended to blow the door down.

"At least eat dinner."

"I'm not hungry." That earned another loud and exasperated sigh. Good thing my door wasn't made of straw. I think she would have had a good chance of blowing it down with that one.

"You need to eat."

"I said I'm not hungry."

"Fine. Starve. You're still going to that school in the morning." I heard her stomp away and I pulled my face from the pillow, feeling the tears of frustration begin to surface again. I liked to think that I didn't cry often, but ever since I had met these fuckers, all I seemed to do was cry. I lay on my side, letting the tears roll down my face and onto my pillow. I stared at my plain pink wall which had yet to be decorated. I was going to put up the picture of Migi and me there. I had even picked out the stickers that were going to hold it up there.

Would Migi miss me?

Would she be angry at me?

_I should probably call her and let her know..._

But I had no cell phone and the phone was out in the living room where my parents were eating. I was too stubborn to leave my room now.

Would we hang out still? We mostly hung out during school hours and in the afterschool clubs. Would she make an effort to see me?

Would she get annoyed if I tried to go and see her?

_I should run away_.

_With all the money...I don't have._

I had no money, no life skills, no nothing. If I ran away, I'd have to come crawling back to my parents within the week. Running away wasn't a feasible option...as tempting as it was.

I wiped my face against my pillow, sniffling as I continued staring at my blank wall.

_I won't make any new friends. Nobody will like me there._

Nobody would. I remember what Haruhi said about how they looked at commoners and if the Host Club was a test sample of how they'd treat me, I _definitely_ wouldn't be making any friends.

If I were capable of being objective, I would say 'Hey, my life isn't ruined.'

But I was absolutely and completely incapable of being objective at the moment.

_My life is ruined._


	16. New School

**SPECIAL NOTE TO ALL MY REVIEWERS**

First off, I would like to say thank you. I know that when you're reading a fanfiction, the last thing you want to do is review. You want to just read it and be done with it.

Without your reviews I wouldn't feel so motivated to continue this fic. As you can see, sometimes I go for long periods of time without updating. This is due to life, busyness, apathy, and loss of inspiration. But with your reviews, I always get so excited and so happy. Whenever I see that I've received a review I run to read it and think "oh geez, I need to update this, my readers are waiting for me!"

I used to be able to respond to each and every single review that was posted, but since it's been such a long time since I updated (not the past few chapters, but before that there was like a huge gap between updates) that I've lost track of who I haven't responded to and who I have.

I am _always_ open to conversation. If you ever have a desire to talk to me one on one about my story, about yourself, or whatever crosses your mind, please do not ever hesitate to message me. I would love to get to know my reviewers, you guys are the ones who keep this story going. I may be the one writing it, but you're the ones inspiring it. Without you guys, there would be no story.

For all the readers out there, I would like you to know that without the people who review my story, you'd have no story.

Your feedback is important to me. I am always trying to balance what it's like to be a 16 year old girl while still trying to make her appealing enough to be a good main character. Also, since I've gotten older, it's starting to get harder and harder to remember, but with your feedback I'm able to relate and remember the feelings I had when I was that age. Feel free to share with me both your positive criticism **and** negative criticism. Without the positive I cannot feel motivated, without the negative I cannot improve.

Thank you my reviewers and readers. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you for making the effort to pay attention to my story. I hope you share it with your friends and I hope this story continues to grow along the right path.

Thank you,

bonbonchocolate

aka

Piggy

* * *

I stood on the metro, gripping the handle of the ceiling bars till my knuckles turned white, my stomach twisted in a knot, and my new uniform stuffed into a paper bag. Like hell I was going to wear that dress out into the general public.

I had put my ipod on shuffle, hoping that it would land on a random song that would suddenly chase away this feeling of impending doom which loomed over my shoulder. Today was going to be a terrible day. I could feel it in my bones.

"_**Stop 351, Bunkyo, Tokyo."**_ The automated voice called out from the speakers and I considered not getting off. Nobody else was getting off at this stop.

I sighed and moved towards the door, waiting until the metro completely stopped and opened the doors for me. As I stepped out onto the train station I stared at the eerie emptiness of the place. I guess a lot of people in this district didn't use the subway. With one heavy foot at a time, I made my way up the stairs to the menacing sunlight which leaked from above.

* * *

"Mitsukuni."

"Huh? What is it Takashi?"

"You're distracted." I stated and knew immediately that I was correct. Mitsukuni glanced quickly up at me before looking back down over the stone railing to the courtyard below. Down in the courtyard was a bustling of students, sitting picturesque over on the edge of the fountain, on the hand-made benches, walking around and enjoying the beautiful day. There was nothing new there.

"I guess I don't feel too good Takashi..." He mumbled and immediately I looked at him more closely. He wasn't rubbing his face in pain or looking too pale. I put the back of my hand to his forehead to quickly gauge his temperature. He pulled away from me.

"Stop it, I'm not sick." He said childishly, pulling his Usa-chan closer to him as he continued to look down into the courtyard below.

"Cavity?" I asked, thinking of the only thing that really ever affected the young boy, but he shook his head.

"No cavity. I told you, I'm not sick."

"But you are unwell." Mitsukuni looked up at me when I said this, a completely blank expression on his face. This was one of the rare moments that Mitsukuni pushed aside his liking for cute and sweet things, and fell into the maturity of his age. He sighed and looked at me with some concern.

"Do you ever get lonely Takashi?"

"No." I believed my answer to be honest, but I could see that it wasn't satisfactory to him. He sighed again and shook his head.

"Is it because we are always so often together? What about when we won't be able to have all this time together in the future? What if we go to different colleges? What if we end up in different countries? Different jobs? Wouldn't you be lonely then Takashi?"

"No." Again, I believed my answer to be honest. And again, Mitsukuni seemed unsatisfied with my answer.

"Sometimes I worry for you Takashi. I worry that you will be lonely." He said softly and the hand I reached out to put on his shoulder paused, hovering in the air as I listened to the tone of his voice.

"Mitsukuni, do you feel lonely?" I asked him. Was it Mitsukuni who was feeling lonely? Was it Mitsukuni who was worried for his own future?

He smiled and shook his head.

"Only when I worry for your future Takashi."

I did not expect that answer.

* * *

I sat huddled on top of the closed toilet seat in my new school uniform, sitting in my very familiar position with my knees pulled up to my chest. I had not quite made it out of the bathroom after changing into my uniform. I had tried about five different hairstyles in attempts to somehow look...I don't know...richer? Pulling my hair into a bun made me look like an old librarian, braiding it made me look like the dorky girl who would be friends with the old librarian, pigtails made me look like an idiot, a ponytail made me look like an ugly boy, uuand now as my hair was down in a frizzy mess I submitted myself to failure.

_Doomed. Doomed. Everything is doomed._

**Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing dooooooooooooooooooooooooong.**

The Ouran Academy bell tolled across the campus, marking the start of homeroom, but I didn't care. I would consider spending my entire day in this bathroom stall to be a successful day.

"Ah did you hear?!" The bathroom door opened and I heard the footsteps of two girls walk in. I held my breath. They stopped at the mirrors and I could hear the clicking of plastic as they laid things out on the countertop. Her voice carried such...authority?

"What? What's going on?" The other girl asked, her voice full of curiosity. More plastic clicking.

"We're going to be getting another commoner at the school!" Answered the girl excitedly and I could feel my stomach drop as I realized that these girls were going to be talking about me.

"Oh! Another scholarship? Is it a boy like Haruhi? I think that Haruhi-chan is so cute." Tittered the other girl and I bit my bottom lip to keep myself from snorting. Idiots. How could they not tell that Haruhi was a girl? Idiots. All of them.

"No no. The commoner is a girl. She's not even a scholarship student from what I hear." She answered pompously and I winced. Nope. Not a scholarship student.

"Then how'd she get into Ouran? Do you think that she might be..." Her voice trailed off into a whisper and I strained to hear more.

_That I might be what? That I might be what?!_

"Rumors are saying that she is some politician's child from an affair. A _mistress_. And that her mother blackmailed him into getting her into this school." She whispered back...if a whisper were the equivalent of a small child shouting in a grocery store.

I blanched.

_The child of an affair? _

I hadn't even stepped foot into class and I was already being labeled. How dare they? How fucking dare they? They didn't know me. They hadn't even met me. They didn't know what I looked like, where I came from, or who my parents were. I reached towards the stall door.

I was going to burst open that stall door and stomp towards them. I was going to raise my fist at them and shake it in front of their stupid rich faces and I was going to make sure they knew that I wasn't somebody to fuck with. I was going to tell them that I was most certainly _not_ the child of some stupid politician's affair and that my parents were happily married.

As my fingers touched the cold metal handle I froze.

_Maybe...I'll just wait for them to leave._

Yes. That seemed like a much better plan.

"Oops, we should get back to class. Himuro Sensei is going to have a fit if we stay out too long again."

And I could hear them loading their purses back up with whatever it was that they had put out onto the counter, the marked plastic clicking noises falling into a jumble as they scurried out of the bathroom.

_You can't stay in here forever._

If I skipped school they'd call my parents and my parents would probably ground me for a lifetime.

Slowly, I unlocked the stall door and stepped out, my stupid looking shoes clicking against the marble bathroom floor. Looking into the bathroom mirror I hopelessly brushed my hair with my fingers, wetting it a bit to get some control of my poofing hair. Was it just me or did my hair seem extra poofy today? Was my own body conspiring against me?

_You can do this._

I took a deep breath.

_You can do it._

* * *

"Class, this is our new student Momoku Murayama. She will be joining our class from now on. Please welcome her." There was some polite clapping as I stood in front of the class. Though they were clapping, I felt like I was some sort of lamb being sized up by a room of coyotes. They looked like they were going to eat me alive. I nervously wrung my hands behind my back, knowing enough that I probably shouldn't be doing that in front of them.

Mr. Himuro turned to me. Yes, that's right. Just my luck, I was in the class with the two girls from the bathroom. I didn't know what they looked like, but I'm sure I'd be able to figure it out by the time homeroom ended.

"How about you tell us a little about yourself Momoku Murayama." He requested and immediately I could feel my face start to heat up as I fumbled for words.

I was born in Japan right? Did I speak Japanese? Sure didn't feel like it.

"I..uh...um..." Nope. Never learned Japanese. In fact, I decided from now on that I'd be completely mute.

Mr. Himuro took some pity on me and gave me a somewhat apathetic smile.

"How about what your hobbies are?" He encouraged gently and I nodded.

"Oh of course..um...I like to..um...listen to music.." I mumbled and I could see whatever fascination the class had with me, begin to fade.

"That's very nice. Music is an integral part of human culture, something that has consistently entertained humans for thousands of years. Please take a seat next to Mister Kasanoda Ritsu over there, we will continue our lesson." A collective gasp came from the class I became wide-eyed as I glanced at the teacher. Why did everyone gasp? What happened? Why did everyone gasp?

WHY DID EVERYONE GASP?!

I looked at the only empty seat available in the classroom. It was next to a boy who had somewhat long and reddish colored hair. He was staring out the window so I couldn't see his face.

He didn't seem bad.

I quickly walked over to him and sat down, the sound of my notebooks being shoved onto the table finally catching his attention. Slowly, he turned his head and looked at me.

I flinched.

He totally noticed.

"What're you lookin' at?" He asked me gruffly and I flinched again, the sound of his voice and the look in his eyes sounding like something straight out of a mafia movie.

"Ah..nothing...sorry." I mumbled, quickly averting my eyes to my notebook. I stared at the cover of my notebook and tried to ignore the furtive glances that I was receiving from my classmates. I squeezed my pen tightly, biting my bottom lip as they kept looking at me.

I wasn't blind you know.

I turned my head to look around the room and immediately the people who had been staring pretended as if they were looking elsewhere.

Fucking assholes.

I looked back at my notebook and almost _immediately_ they started looking at me again as if I had a weird growth coming out of the back of my head. Again I turned around and again they pretended to look elsewhere.

I began to draw a small circle in my notebook corner, going over it repeatedly so that it would go through into the pages underneath it. I could still see people glancing at me. I slammed my pen down.

"EY! What are you lookin' at?!" Shouted...not me. I turned to look at my deskmate who was glaring at the class. The class full of students who suddenly found that their desks were the most interesting thing to look at. Mr. Himuro cleared his throat.

"Let's refrain from yelling in my class Mister Kasanoda. Now, if we will look at the integer here..."

Kasanoda turned away, leaning against his hand and staring out at the window again. Hesitantly, I reached out and tapped his shoulder, this time braced for the look he was going to give me. He turned to me with a very unamused expression, but I managed to offer him a smile.

"Thank you...Kasanoda-san..." I whispered to him and he seemed a bit surprised, his eyes widening as he blinked down at me. He cleared his throat and turned away mumbling something under his breath.

"Stupid people..staring..rude.." He muttered and I suddenly felt relief, smiling to myself as I noticed that everyone had become too scared to even look my way anymore. At least...at least I wasn't alone.

* * *

"Oh daaaaauuuuuuughterrr! Daddy has some very interesting news for you today!" I ignored the commotion Tamaki was causing as I focused on my lunch, keeping an eye on the amount of cake Mitsukuni was consuming from the corner of my eye. Tamaki insisted that the Host Club have lunch together once in a while to 'keep good relations'. I believe that everyone understood it was just his way of trying to at lunch with Haruhi who would otherwise be having lunch with other people.

"What is it now senpai?" Came her less than amused voice. I stared out the window, looking at the several students enjoying their lunch out on the picnic tables shaded by large umbrellas. There were only a handful who decided it was okay to sit on the grass to eat. Unsurprisingly, there weren't any girls-oh wait, there was one. I couldn't make out her face, but I was mildly intrigued by the way she sat on the grass. Ouran Academy girls did not sit on the grass. The grass would dirty their uniforms, or so they thought.

"There's another commoner joining Ouran! Rumor has it that she's the child of some politician's affair with his mistr-OW!" I glanced over to see that Kyouya had smacked him on the head with his clipboard, keeping it there to prevent Tamaki's head from popping back up immediately.

"Let's not spread such stupid lies now. It would be classless for our Daddy to teach his daughter such awful manners." He said dryly, earning a pitiful whine from our Host Club King. I looked back outside.

_Is that Kasanoda with a girl?_

I hadn't easily forgotten about the boy. The boy who once asked me to be his 'sensei' and to teach him 'how to be so likeable despite being so scary, mean-looking, expressionless, distant, and silent.' Oh and 'plus, you got a face that looks like a watchdog from hell' was thrown in at the end too. I felt somewhat dizzy just _thinking_ about the incident. I also wouldn't easily forget the face Mitsukuni gave me when Tamaki stated that he was my 'accessory' currently on a 'long-term lease'.

Seems like Kasanoda was finally able to get along with someone besides Haruhi.

"Oooh Kyouyaaa. Does this mean you know who the new commoner is?" Tamaki asked excitedly and I heard another smack land on his head.

"Senpai, stop calling her commoner. She has a name." Haruhi chimed in, obviously annoyed at the term 'commoner'. I still watched Kasanoda, looking at him share a lunch with the girl on the grass. I was feeling some happiness for the boy.

"What's her name then? Tell us mommy!" Tamaki asked, his shoes clacking against the ground as he hopped up and down on the floor. I turned to look at him when I paused, seeing a very interesting expression on Mitsukuni's face. He looked nervous, glancing from his cake to me. When he noticed me staring, his face began to turn red with embarrassment.

"What is it Mitsukuni?" I asked gently but he shook his head.

"Ah...Mitsukuni doesn't feel well..." He grabbed at his stomach and I immediately stood up to reach out to him. He backed away in his chair and put his hand up at me.

"No! I can go to the nurse by myself! I'm not a baby."

"I didn't mean-"

"I'll go by myself! I'll be back soon okay Takashi?" He shouted right before sprinting away from me, leaving me bewildered and stared at by the rest of the Host Club members. Tamaki slowly approached me like I were some gorilla in a science laboratory, bending his knees slightly as he looked up at me hesitantly. When he finally made it to me he peered up at me with wide eyes, expecting some sort of reaction from me.

"Mori-senpai, are you okay?" He asked timidly and I blinked, looking back at him without an expression. He was expecting something from me, I wasn't sure what, but I knew he was expecting something from me.

"Ah." I responded, not actually having any words to satisfy him. He smiled at me and patted my back, rubbing my shoulders in what I assumed to be a comforting way.

"No worries Mori-senpai, Honey-senpai is just having one of his grumpy days. He will come around."

"Ah." I responded again as I again had nothing to say to him. I think he assumed that this was bothering me a whole lot more than it actually was. I was perplexed as to what was up with Mitsukuni, but he didn't seem ill, just secretive. I wasn't concerned too much about the secretive part and since he wasn't actually unwell, I wasn't really bothered.

But the Host Club's stares were starting to get bothersome.

"Excuse me." I said tonelessly, beginning to get annoyed at the way Tamaki and the twins stared at me expectantly, waiting for me to have some sort of meltdown over Mitsukuni running out claiming sick. I nodded to Haruhi before exiting the club room, putting a hand to my forehead in annoyance as I walked down the hallway. I looked out the window again, now a couple stories closer to the courtyard grounds. Kasanoda was still there with the girl.

She sort of looked familiar.

I walked down another set of stairs and one more hallway, reaching the outside of the school and being greeted by an overwhelming amount of sunlight. I squinted, trying to regain some vision despite the unrelenting sunrays. I made my way through the courtyard, enjoying the nice breeze and fresh air. It was incredibly refreshing.

I considered saying hello to Kasanoda, thinking it would be a friendly gesture as we were on much better terms than what we had started on. I made my way towards him.

_**Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Dooooooooooooooooooooooooong.**_

The bell rang throughout the campus, noting the end of the lunch hour. Pausing, I turned around, making my way back to the school building. I would say hello to Kasanoda another time.

"Ah! We're going to be late Kasanoda-san. Hurry!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me, but before I could turn, a very short girl had sprinted past me, clutching her brown paper lunch bag in her hand as she ran up the stairs awkwardly in the Ouran Academy uniform. The back of her head sure looked familiar too. I stared at her retreating figure, forgetting to acknowledge Kasanoda as he walked past me, a small skip in his step as he went up the stairs. Perhaps she was one of Mitsukuni's friends I had seen before. Mitsukuni did have a lot of friends, I tended to lose track of all of them.

As I entered the building hallway I heard Mitsukuni's voice call out to me.

"Ah Takashi! There you are! I'm over here!" His short figure was hopping up and down in the crowd of students making their way back to class. As I walked over he latched onto my side, offering me a smile. I patted him on the head in return.

"Are you better?" I asked, knowing full well that he hadn't been sick to begin with. He nodded vigorously.

"Much better! Very much better! Let's go Takashi!" He took my hand and pulled me, finding himself yanked back as I did not budge.

"Takashi?" He asked. I didn't hear him.

_So this is what he was trying to hide._

I had only seen her for a couple seconds as she turned around to get into her classroom, but I recognized her enough to know for sure that it was her. I recognized her awkward shuffle, her somewhat frizzy hair, and the look of discomfort as she entered the classroom. I looked back at Mitsukuni who seemed confused. He had been too short to see her so he had yet to realize that I had discovered her.

Slowly, I pried Mitsukuni's hand off of mine.

I looked at him, my mind feeling like it was twisting into itself, dropping down through my esophagus and into my stomach. What did I feel? What did I feel as I looked at the innocent face which stared up at me with a look of sincere confusion? I don't know what I felt. What did I feel? What was I feeling? What was happening? Was this the same cousin that I had promised to myself to take care of? The same cousin who never wished for any ill will upon anyone no matter what? Was he really that same boy?

Because the boy I was looking at, didn't look like the boy I knew him to be.

I felt...

I felt hurt.

Angry.

Disappointed.

_Why?_

"Takashi..? What's-"

I turned away, my head starting to pound as I tried to take a firm grasp of my thoughts. It felt like I was sinking in mud, each footstep feeling like it took an extraordinary effort to pick up and place in front of the other. Faintly in the background I could hear Mitsukuni calling after me.

But the ringing in my ears eventually drowned him out.

* * *

There was an abnormal amount of customers surrounding Mitsukuni this Host Club session and one missing Takashi. I had written off his tears when he walked in today as insignificant, but all evidence was pointing to an actual problem.

"I give you my sincerest apologies, but it seems that there is something deeply troubling one of our hosts today. I must go see what the matter is."

"Kyouya-san, you are so kind and thoughtful. I was thinking the same thing!" Said the thoughtless girl, also getting up with me as if I had invited her to inspect the situation as well. I had an inkling as to what may have happened.

"Honey-senpai don't cry! Don't worry! Takashi will be back." I heard one of the girls try to console him, pushing another plate of cake towards the eldest club member. Interestingly enough, Mitsukuni did not touch the plate. He cried more, wiping his tears off onto his sleeve and burying his face into a pillow he was hugging.

"No no no...I made Takashi angry...he's never going to come back." He choked out between sobs. This felt too sincere to be a club act. The other hosts were quickly realizing the severity of the situation as they began to pay attention to Mitsukuni. I snapped my fingers to grab the attention of everyone in the room.

"I must deeply apologize for the inconvenience, but the Host Club will not be able to entertain you for the rest of the evening. To compensate we will be extending the next Host Club session a couple more hours." I announced, earning the disappointed looks of several girls around me. I bowed out of politeness, watching as the girls disappointedly filed out of the room. A distraught Mitsukuni looked up from his pillow.

"What will I do Kyou-chan? Takashi is so upset with me and I don't know why?"

_Don't you know why? You should know why._

"Eh? It's not like Mori-senpai to be angry with Honey-senpai..ever." One of the twins chimed, hopping onto the couch next to him and putting an arm around the boy. His comment did little to cheer him up, if anything it distressed Mitsukuni further. The other twin sat on the other side of Mitsukuni, also putting his arm around the boy. I had an inkling that the twins were currently devising some ill thought out plan to lift the boy's spirits.

_Should I get involved?_

I considered stopping their stupidity before it began, especially when Tamaki jumped into the fray, kneeling in front of Mitsukuni to cheer him up as well. But for some reason, I felt more inclined to aggravate the situation, or if anything, at least prolong the tension between him and Takashi.

_**Momoku walked quickly ahead of us, mumbling something about how she had forgotten something on the boat. Takashi nodded her goodbye and I began to walk away. Before taking a single step I felt a hand on my shoulder, stopping me from going any further. I arched a brow, stopping my movement and turning to look at the Morinozuka boy. He was studying at me, staring at me with an unreadable expression as he kept his hand on my shoulder.**_

"_**Yes Mori-senpai?" I questioned, wondering what could possibly have caused him to stop me from continuing on my merry way.**_

_**He said nothing and through his silence his expression became slightly more readable. He was irked about something and that something seemed to be me. He said nothing, slowly lifting his hand off my shoulder and glancing down at my one last time before shoving against my shoulder and walking past me.**_

_**Mori-senpai had just threatened me.**_

The memory was not easily forgotten.

Even now after several weeks had passed since the incident I had not forgotten the feelings. I looked at the childish Host Club member sobbing on the couch and felt nothing. No empathy, no compassion-nothing. If anything I felt a very small twinge of satisfaction.

If Mitsukuni Haninozuka was hurting...

...then Takashi Morinozuka was hurting.

Clicking my pen closed I turned around and walked back to my seat the table, pouring myself a cup of lavender tea.

"Senpai..." Haruhi's soft voice came from behind me. I didn't look away from the chart I was studying.

"Yes?" I responded stoically, taking a sip of the fragrant tea and enjoying the way the scented wisps of steam curled around my face. Haruhi walked around the small table, standing next to me and looking at me with her ever-astute brown eyes. From the corner of my eyes I could see that she sensed something was up.

She was occasionally the most irritating out of all the Host Club members. She was astoundingly perceptive when you weren't expecting her to be and when you most certainly didn't want her to be. But then she was a bloody moron when it came to her own feelings and anyone else's feelings. There wasn't exactly a balance between the two for the intelligent girl. The way she stood next to me, let me know she was onto something. She knew _something_. Or, at the very least, she was very close to knowing something.

"Who is the new student?" She asked softly and I grinned, impressed at how quickly she had asked the right question. I put my cup of tea down.

"Something tells me you've already guessed Haruhi." She blinked a couple times and I could see the realization coming to her. She moved to sit across from me at the table and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Senpai, did you have something to do with her transferral...?" I could see her brain working inside her skull. She was asking questions. She was wondering 'What could Kyouya Ootori gain from this?' 'Why would Kyouya Ootori go out of his way to do this?'

What she didn't know, yet, was that I had very little to do with this.

"I may have had a small hand in this, but it most certainly wasn't my idea." Again, I could see the cogwheels spinning in her head. She furrowed her brows and twitched her lips in thought.

"Then who?" She asked and I simply took another sip of my tea before standing up to leave.

"You will have to figure that out on your own. It would be no fun to just tell you." I gathered my belongings, stuffing them into a briefcase to go. Haruhi put her hand on my briefcase, stopping me for a moment. Glancing down at her I saw that she had made a new realization.

"Senpai...are you angry?"

I was very annoyed at how perceptive she was.

I smiled.

"Of course not. There is nothing to be angry about. I have things to do now, have a good evening."

* * *

Math was hard.

I didn't really understand calculus.

By that I mean, I didn't understand calculus. Period.

What the hell was a derivative? Did I need to know how to get a derivative? What was I going to do with a derivative? It's not like I could eat it.

Would they ask me how to get a derivative on a job application?

But getting back to the point, math was hard.

And that's why I was skipping it.

The smell of summer cherry blossoms had impressively wafted all the way to the rooftop, the warm heat of the sun intensifying the experience. The breezes were coming from the east, gently blowing strands of my hair into my face while I leaned against the edge. Down below there was a very small number of students wandering the grounds outside. It was probably their 'free class' hour.

_You think they'd call my mom to tell her I skipped one class? It's just one class right?_

It was just one class, but it was definitely the third math class I had skipped this week. I was hoping to work on a theory I had. My theory was, if the professor never saw me, then he'd never know I existed, and therefore, couldn't possibly fail me. How can you fail a student when you didn't know she was in your class? Right? Right?

_So stupid._

It _was _stupid.

Inevitably, I'd have to go to math class. Inevitably, I'd have to go and fail my exams. Inevitably, I'd have to deal with stupid derivatives. I sighed.

I could hear the door to the roof open behind me.

* * *

"You shouldn't be skipping class." She snapped around, her eyes widening and her face turning red. She looked at her scuffed shoes and started to wring her hands together.

"Well..you're...you're skipping..." She mumbled pathetically. I walked up to the railing next to her, looking down at the immaculately maintained lawns of Ouran Academy below. She had a pathetic retort. I assumed she was aware of it.

"I have a free period now. Also, the principal requested that I find our new renegade student." She looked up sharply, staring at me with some intensity.

"You? Why would the principal ask you to...did you..did you bring me here?" She asked accusingly, seemingly ready for a fight. I grinned.

"I actually had very little to do with you being here. I have no desire for you to be here. What would I gain from you being here?" I asked and I considered that it was a bit cruel to say it that way. Her shoulders sagged a bit and she turned back around, leaning her chin and arms against the railing. I again considered the slight cruelty of my words. The only interesting thing about this girl was the lack of necessity in having to put up a cordial facade. Like I had said to her, there was nothing to be gained from her or her family.

"Nothing. There's nothing a lowly commoner like me could offer someone like you Ootori-san." She mumbled and I felt a bit of a sting in her words. I ignored it.

"Why are you skipping math class?" I asked and she shrugged.

"What does it matter? I'm going to fail anyway. And you don't care." Logically, she was right. She probably was going to fail. Especially if she continued skipping class like this.

"Skipping class won't help your case."

"I'll just fail out of Ouran." The way she said it as if it didn't matter began to irritate me. Didn't she have any pride? She was attending the most esteemed high school in Japan and here she was, not giving a shit about failing out. Was this whole thing a joke to her? Didn't she care about her future? Her career?

"You've been given free tuition at the greatest school in the country, and you're just going to _fail out_?" I asked incredulously. She lifted her head to look at me, giving me a very particular glare as she did so.

"I _never_ asked for this. And even if I _did_ try, it would be pointless." She spat at me, not hiding the hostility in her voice. It seems like I wasn't the only one who didn't feel a need to put up a facade.

"And why would it be pointless?"

"Because I'll always be this. I'll always be a commoner. I'll graduate and if by some off chance I get into a college, and if by some other chance I graduate college, I'll end up working a shitty office job. If I don't get into college I will work for my parents. I'll work on their shitty boat and when they die, I'll continue working on their shitty boat. That's how it's going to be."

It was interesting to hear her story. It was a story that once paralleled mine on a less grander scale. I remembered the words of a friend, one of the rare moments in history during which he showed his genius.

"And you're just going to give up? Just like that?" She didn't move, staring again at the courtyard.

"It's not giving up. It's accepting my fate."

"Come with me."

"What-"

"I said _come_." I grabbed her by the wrist, pulling the stupid girl with me as I opened the door to get back into the building. I ignored her protests and continued forcefully dragging her with me down the stairs. With a couple hallway turns and one more set of stairs we were at her classroom. I burst open the door to reveal an unamused Mr. Himuro who arched a brow at me and the girl who shamefully bowed her head next to me. I shoved her into the class, letting her wrist go and glared at her until she sat back down in her seat next to Kasanoda. Clearing my throat I bowed respectfully to Mr. Himuro.

"I apologize for the sudden intrusion Mr. Himuro and for Miss Murayama's lack of attendance. From now on she will be receiving tutoring to make up for any work she has missed and to keep up with your class. If you find her absent again, please do not hesitate to let me know." I stated, earning a few gasps from the other students in the class (mostly female). Mr. Himuro looked mildly amused.

"It sounds like you are claiming responsibility of Miss Murayama here." He said and I glanced at Momoku who had buried her head in her arms in embarrassment. I looked back to Mr. Himuro.

"She is now my responsibility." And with that I bowed and left the classroom, my mind racing as I really weighed the amount of responsibility I had just accepted.

_Why am I doing this?_

Because I wanted her to succeed. Because I wanted that stupid..pathetic...pitiful girl to succeed. Unlike me, she'd have help.

_Why do I want her to succeed?_

Because like hell I'd let someone like her waste a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. If she fucked up now, the rest of her life would be reflecting this fuck-up. If she wanted any hope to break out of the cage she had created for herself, then she had to succeed now. I recognized that self-cage and I recognized it very well. If she wanted to leave, if she wanted to have hope...

She had to do it now.

And I had nothing to gain from it.

* * *

"Kasanoda-san, would you like to have lunch together today?" I asked politely and the ever-angry-looking Kasanoda gave me a very small smile, shaking his head in annoyance.

"Can't. I have detention today. I actually have detention for the rest of the week." I blinked at him in surprise.

"A week long detention? What..what did you do?"

"I uh..may have beat up another student." I lightly smacked him on the arm, earning a glare from him. I had become somewhat immune to his glares, I had received them too often to not be immune by now. I received around 6 per day from him.

"What'd you do that for?"

"For beating up another student. If you keep getting detentions you're going to be suspended."

"Whatever..he deserved it.." He muttered, running a hand through his hair as he continued doodling stick figures set on fire into his notebook. I shook my head getting up at the lunch bell with my paper bag lunch clutched in my hand. As I walked out of the class without Kasanoda, I realized that I had nobody to sit with for lunch. This made me unreasonably nervous. Who would I sit with? Would I sit by myself? Would it be embarrassing to sit by myself? Wouldn't all the other students laugh at me for having to sit by myself?

When I reached the cafeteria I looked around as if I had another friend in the crowd. I didn't. Not that I had made any friends really. Sitting next to Kasanoda really tended to keep people very far away. That part I actually appreciated.

But as I looked at the filled tables and unfriendly faces which filled the cafeteria, I shrank back, clutching my lunch bag in my hands as I turned around. Quickly, I made my way to the girl's bathroom, making sure to hide my lunch bag so that no one would see. Luckily nobody was inside when I went in and locked myself into the bathroom stall all the way at the end. Sitting on the closed toilet seat I quickly pulled my lunch from the noisy paper bag and set it on my lap.

I paused when I thought I heard the door open.

_Nope. Nobody._

And as I began to eat my peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the lonely bathroom stall, I started to miss the friends I had back at my old school. Migi hadn't returned any of my calls or texts and Toma had been too busy with work and school to hang out. I felt lonely, sitting here by myself, scared that somebody would discover me eating my lunch so pathetically in the bathroom stall.

It wasn't like this was the first time I ever ate my lunch in the bathroom.

But I had always thought that the last time, would have been the last. I never thought I'd find myself eating by myself like this again.

_But it's very fitting for me._

I guess if I had to pick one scene to describe how I felt at Ouran, this would be it.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Momoku Murayama.

_Momoku Murayama was a little girl who had very little friends and very little ability to make friends. She did poorly in school and brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch because she was too scared to go stand in the lunch line to get the food provided by Ouran Academy. Because of all this, she sat alone in the end bathroom stall, quietly eating her peanut butter sandwich and secretly hoping that she would drop dead._

Yeah. That sounded about right.

* * *

"Incorrect. The tangent is the straight line that any point on the curve creates. Please pay closer attention now."

The hum of the tutoring blended into the background noise as I refrained from rolling my eyes. This was the fourth question in a row she had answered incorrectly. I had half a mind to walk over and beat her with a ruler every time she answered incorrectly.

Momoku was receiving tutoring three times a week from my own private tutors whom I did not currently need. There was no point for me to have tutors, I excelled in all of my classes and had pristine grades. So I gave them to her and monitored the tutoring sessions from the side as I did my own work writing up a couple contracts for the coming week. What I gathered so far from the tutoring sessions was that Momoku Murayama had a head made of concrete.

"Yes that is correct. Good job." I overheard and I almost let out a loud sigh of relief. Finally. She had gotten something right.

I had engrossed myself in writing these contracts so much that I had lost track of time, looking up only when the hired tutor stood before me, her hands folded in front of her.

"Ootori-san. We have gone over the tutoring session by a couple hours. I must return home to my family." She said respectfully. I blinked in surprise, nodding my head and clearing my throat.

"Of course. You are dismissed. Thank you sensei." I glanced down at my watch and was remotely shocked at the time. 7:00PM. I looked up to see Momoku left behind, standing awkwardly with her schoolbooks in hand.

"Why didn't you say anything about the time?" I asked her and she reached back, scratching her head.

"I uh..I didn't want to anger you..and thought you were doing it on purpose.."

For some reason, I found this pretty funny and could barely contain my smile. I coughed a couple times to cover up the laughter that threatened to bubble up from my throat. I stood up and glanced at my watch again. Dinner would be ready in just a couple minutes.

"I see..." I answered, still finding her answer pretty humorous. I glanced at the girl who was awkwardly shuffling from foot to foot.

"Can I uh..um..go home now?" She asked as if I had some kind of ownership of her. Again, I had to resist laughing.

"No." I said in a serious tone, causing her to look at me in surprise. I stood up and straightened my tie, smoothing over the wrinkles which had accumulated in my shirt during the past couple hours.

"What-"

"You can have dinner here with me. It's a bit late to go home alone. After you eat I'll send you home with a driver. Be sure to call your parents to let them know where you are."

"Ah I don't want-um..okay.." She changed her protest mid-sentence, apparently accepting the fact that I probably didn't leave her with much of a choice. I turned to leave and paused, looking back at the girl who was now texting who I assumed was her mother. Her hair was more frazzled than usual and I could see some dark circles beginning to form under her eyes. She looked pretty exhausted. Dark circles didn't just appear in the span of a few hours. I deduced that she probably wasn't resting very well for the past few days.

_Probably the stress of Ouran._

She'd learn to deal with it.

"The washroom is to your left. We'll be eating in my office, I have a few things to finish and there's no need to utilize the large dining room for just two of us. My office is upstairs, second door on the right."

"Ah..okay.." She answered, making her way to the washroom as I finished organizing my papers. Walking up the stairs I thought about what kept her up at night. Did she even have any interaction with the Host Club at this point? Mitsukuni and Takashi were slowly getting along again though the tension between them was pretty impossible to ignore. Occasionally I considered their friendship irreparable, but I understood their relationship enough that it would only be a matter of time until they were back to the way they were. Tamaki, upon learning that it was Momoku who was the new student had immediately lost all interest. She wasn't someone new or anyone particularly interesting him.

Haruhi, on the other hand, had said nothing about Momoku's arrival to the school. Occasionally I caught her looking around the cafeteria for her, but she never saw her. I also rarely ever saw Momoku in the cafeteria. It seemed that she ate elsewhere.

As I finished changing my shirt I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in."

Momoku entered, taking a seat at the table where the food had already been prepared and placed. Tonight's dinner was kobe beef steak it seemed. Hopefully she would appreciate the quality of the food.

I sat across from her, pouring her a cup of water before I poured it for myself, picking up my knife and fork to start cutting. She did the same.

"How are you liking Ouran?" I asked, making small talk. I had actually asked for this dinner to be in my office because having it in the dining room seemed too formal. Momoku didn't look up from her plate. She seemed to do a lot more pushing around of her food than actual eating.

"Fine." She answered curtly and I was taken aback. She spoke to me like she would her parents. Her 'fine' was complete bullshit and a filler answer to avoid further conversation. Again, she pushed around the food on her plate.

"Is the food not to your liking?" I inquired and she looked up, smiling at me nervously and shaking her head.

"Ah..no...yes...I mean..the food is fine." Again, the filler answer.

"You don't seem to like it."

"I'm just...I'm not that hungry." She answered, probably giving me the first honest answer of the evening. I looked at the girl who seemed a little more tired than usual.

"Are you alright?" I asked, my concern being more sincere than I was comfortable with. She still didn't look up from her plate, treating my question as another annoying interruption.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

You know, for a girl who was absolute shit at hiding her emotions, she sure lied about them a lot.

For the rest of the meal, we sat in silence.

* * *

I looked at the unappealing sandwich that lay untouched on my lap. Kasanoda, the idiot, had gotten more detentions, this time for scaring the gym teacher.

_Baka._

I found that I wasn't hungry, tossing my sandwich back into the paper bag. The waste bin was already full so I grabbed it to throw out once I was outside of the bathroom. I stood up and dusted the crumbs off my ugly yellow uniform, deciding that I would just spend the rest of my lunch hour in the library. Walking up to the door I opened it slowly, hoping to avoid any human contact-

"Momo-chan! There you are! I never see you at lunch!" A very excited Honey-senpai called out to me. I hurriedly hid my lunch bag behind my back, forcing a smile as I looked at him quickly approaching me. And of course, Takashi was following behind him. Honey-senpai looked at me, trying to look behind my back in curiosity.

"What's that you've got there? Are you hiding something?"

"Ah..no..I just-oh!" I felt my lunch bag being yanked from my hands and like magic, it appeared in Honey-senpai's hands. He held it up and peered inside, scrunching up his face in confusion as he looked at my half-assed sandwich. He looked up at me with wide-eyes, as if he had found a bloody tampon inside there instead of my sandwich. I didn't think it was _that_ unappealing of a sandwich. Mori-senpai looked into my lunch bag too, glancing down over Honey's shoulder. Oh God. Why did this have to be a group affair?

"This is..this is your lunch Momo-chan? Why were you in the bathroom with it?" He asked and for a moment I considered not answering and instead, turning around and sprinting in the other direction. But I had heard of the boy's athletic prowess. He'd probably catch up to me without breaking a sweat.

"Um..ah..I uh..just happened...to be walking by..."

"Were you going to eat your lunch in the bathroom Momo-chan?" He pressed on, completely unaware of how badly I wanted to melt through the floor. I glanced up at Takashi who looked somewhat wide-eyed at me too.

"Of course not..why would I do that...maybe."

"Why would you do that? Don't you want to eat lunch with your friends?"

_You're killing me kid._

"I um...I gotta go." I turned to leave when I felt Honey-senpai latch onto me, his arms hugging around my waist and preventing me from moving. I twisted around, coming face to face with the boy who was the same height as me. He had tears in his eyes and his bottom lip was quivering as he looked at me.

"I'm sorry Momo-chan! I didn't mean to do this! I didn't know you'd be so lonely here that you would eat by yourself in the bathroom! Had I known I would have never brought you here Momo-chan!"

_Jesus don't shout it so-wait._

"What? _What?_ _You?_ _You_ brought me to Ouran?" I jerked away from him, pulling away from his hug as I took a couple steps back.

_Did I hear correctly?_

"You? You're the reason I'm here? You're the one who...it was _you?_" My voice starting to turn pretty shrill. I couldn't stop it. As I looked at the crying boy I felt nothing but rage. How could he do this to me? How could it be Honey-senpai? He reached towards me but I took another step back to keep my distance between us.

"Momo-chan please don't be angry! I just thought you'd want to be with Haru-chan and Takashi! We all-"

"I _trusted_ you! I can't believe you did this to me! I can't believe it was you! _You_ did this to me!" I found myself raising my hand and paused, biting my lip in frustration as tears started to show up in my eyes as well. My hand was frozen in the air as I stared at Honey-senpai. I was so hurt. I was so frustrated. I was so hurt. I was so angry. I was so hurt.

He could easily block my slap, but looking at his face, I knew he wouldn't if I tried. Slowly I put my hand back down, shaking my head as the first tear broke the waterline barrier, trailing down my face as I looked at him.

"How could you do this to me?" My voice now a pathetic whine. He reached out to me again and again I took a step back.

"I didn't mean to hurt you Momo-chan...I thought we would have fun at Ouran like we did on the boat..I thought-"

"Did you ever think about _my_ feelings? Did you ever think to ask me what _I_ wanted?"

"I didn't think-"

I didn't want to hear his explanation nor did I care. Whatever bullshit reason he was going to come up was still going to be bullshit, no matter how it was phrased. I turned and ran, sprinting up the steps and down the hallways, ignoring the stares of my fellow students.

_How could he? How could he do this to me? _

I sprinted up the familiar stairs and towards the rooftop, reaching the door and bursting back out into the sunlight. I had snot trailing down my face and my tears had dropped onto my uniform. Ungracefully, I wiped my face with the sleeve of my uniform, not giving a shit that all that snot and mucus now resided on my sleeve. I went to the corner of the roof, sitting down and plugging my fingers into my ears. The sound of birds up above mixed with the bustling of the students was beginning to get a little loud.

I closed my eyes and started to hum to myself.

_**Hallelujaah...Hallelujah...**_

I tried to dig my fingers deeper into my ears as my humming wasn't doing enough to block out the noise. I felt like the resident birds were beginning to get louder, screeching harshly as if to purposely annoy me.

_Shut up. Shut up._

Laughter came from down below. I could hear students chatting and laughing amongst themselves.

_Shut up. Shut up. Shut up._

I squeezed my eyes even tighter, as if that had any effect on the noises going around me.

More birds. More laughter. Birds were screeching at me. The students were laughing at me. I could hear them laughing at me. I could hear the birds laughing at me too. They were all laughing at me.

_Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up._


	17. Glow of a Laptop Screen

Thank you to my wonderful reviewers and thank you to those who newly reviewed. I very much appreciate it! It put a smile on my face when I read through them in the morning. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

* * *

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Mitsukuni had been silent for the rest of the day, deciding to walk beside me rather than take the car back home. Usa-chan was slumped in his arms as he dejectedly dragged his feet along the sunny sidewalks of Bunkyo.

"Is this why you were angry with me Takashi? Because you knew that this would hurt Momo-chan's feelings?" I didn't respond verbally, instead giving a glance at the boy who looked up at me with wide and worried eyes. He walked closer to me, bowing his head and hugging Usa-chan closer to his chest.

I had questions of my own. Questions that Mitsukuni had avoided and danced around for the past few days.

"Takashi, are you still upset with me?"

"Yes." I answered honestly and I could see the hurt on Mitsukuni's face as he looked up at me. Though it pained me to see him in distress, I was resolute in keeping my stance. Mitsukuni needed to learn.

"Why Takashi? Will you be angry at me forever?" He asked and I shook my head, putting an arm on his shoulder comfortingly as we walked through the crowded streets.

"Why did you do it?" I asked him and he looked away, trying to avoid the question.

"Mitsukuni." He sighed and stopped walking, looking at his feet as he understood that he would not be able to dodge the question forever.

"I did it for you. I asked Kyouya to help me put in a call to Tamaki's dad so that she could get in. I paid for her tuition too. I promise I didn't know she'd be so unhappy here Takashi. I swear it." He was beginning to tear up, sincerely feeling terrible about Momoku's reaction to the change. I put a hand on his head, waiting as he cried into the soft belly of his stuffed animal.

"Why for me?" I asked and he looked up at me with his puffy, tear-stained face and sniffled as he tried to regain some composure.

"I didn't want you to be lonely. We're going to graduate this year and we may not even go to the same college. You always spend your time with me. What if you never get a girlfriend? What if you never have other friends? What will happen if we can't be together all the time anymore?" I had never given Mitsukuni a reason to ever worry about me, so why he was doing it now made little to no sense to me. He kicked a stray rock.

"What if I get lonely?" He asked and that's when it all made sense. It was never really about me. He had focused all of his attention on me to avoid having to deal with his own insecurities and worries. He was worried about being alone and figured that if he could focus on me and try to 'help me' then he would forget about his own worries. It's not like I hadn't considered what would happen if we ended up going to different universities to study different things. I always figured our friendship would endure and that we would make the time to hang out. It was never a concern of mine to be lonely. I was also never concerned about getting a girlfriend, though I guess given my age, it was probably about the time that I should become concerned.

"Do you like somebody Mitsukuni?" I asked, getting the feeling that there perhaps was a female weighing in on his mind. I doubted that these questions of loneliness and girlfriends came out of nowhere. He shuffled his feet a bit, blushing lightly and rubbing his face against Usa-chan.

"There's a girl...her name is Reiko Kanazuki...I don't really understand her." I ruffled his hair.

"You will."

"Thanks Takashi..." I marveled at the way the boy had grown a bit, starting to move some of his attention to women. I had always been silent with my attention. He revealed the first smile of the day to me, his face brightening as the sun reflected from his warm eyes.

"I think I owe Momo-chan an apology."

"Ah."

That went without saying. Mitsukuni most definitely owed her an apology. Whether or not she would accept it would be the question.

"Takashi? Do you, do you like Momo-chan?" It was a loaded question and I knew the weight he put into the question. It was more than 'Do you like her as a human?' and more than a 'Do you like her as a friend?'. He was asking me if I liked her romantically and to do her justice, I gave the question a reasonable amount of thought. I had mulled over the question which flitted across my thoughts once or twice before and still had no conclusion. I would be honest.

"I am not ready for her." The implications were endless, but my answer was honest. I was not ready to handle the thought of her romantically, nor was I ready to handle the thought of pursuing her-I was not ready to give her too much thought or any attention. At this point in time, I was just not capable of understanding my feelings or being able to recognize what kind of feelings I had-platonic or not. I simply was not ready. Mitsukuni nodded, reaching up to hold my hand when my phone began to ring.

"Ah." I answered my phone.

"_**Mori-senpai! I tried to call Kyouya-senpai but he didn't pick up his phone. I just got a call from Momoku's mom. She says that they were supposed to go grocery shopping together but Momoku never showed up. I asked her teacher if he had seen her, but Mr. Himuro says that after lunch Momoku had never gone back to class. Kasanoda says that he thought he last saw her with you guys. Do you know where she is?"**_

"We will find her."

"_**I can help. I'll go look around the town and see if maybe she just skipped class or something."**_

"Okay." I hung up the cell phone, feeling uneasy at the news. She very well could have just skipped class and went out to a movie or something, but I highly doubted that. The emotional state she had been in when she ran from us told me that she probably wasn't in a good state.

"Takashi...is everything okay?"

"Momoku is missing. We have to go back to Ouran."

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* * *

Her skin was sunburned and she lay unconscious next to a pool of what looked to be her own vomit. For a horrifying moment I thought she was dead, and even though I could see her chest rising and falling with her breaths, I was almost hesitant to approach her.

"Oh no! Takashi!" Mitsukuni screamed next to me, jolting me out of the numb shock I had found myself in. I immediately rushed over to her, picking up her unconscious body and cradling it gently as I pulled out my phone.

"_**How can I help you Mori-senpai?"**_

"Alert the nearest hospital to Ouran to have a room ready. I will be bringing Momoku."

"_**I see. Alright then."**_

He hung up and I motioned for Mitsukuni to open the roof door. I ran through it, carefully making sure to keep her as still as possible in my arms while running down the stairs, skipping 3-5 at a time.

"Mitsukuni, call for a car."

"Hai." He had already pulled out his phone, sprinting next to me as he spoke to our driver who wasn't too far away from campus. As we ran through the hallways I could feel my heart pound as the unconscious girl showed no signs of waking up any time soon, a bit of acidic drool leaking from the corners of her lips. I worried that she might choke on her own saliva.

_How long had she been up there? The entire time since running away from us?_

_Did she have a panic attack?_

_Was she sick?_

And finally, the most important question.

_Would she be alright?_

The driver had reached the front, opening the door for me as I climbed in with the small girl still in my arms. I reached into my back pocket and wiped the drool from her face with a handkerchief, trying to make her look somewhat presentable despite the small chunk of dried vomit on her uniform and at the bottom of her chin. I rubbed that off with my handkerchief.

My heart pounded as the driver raced through the busy streets, cutting lines and taking shortcuts as I sat there helplessly in the back of the car. Mitsukuni was staring at her with wide eyes, also afraid of what he was looking at. For the first time in a very long time...

I was scared.

I guess that's a part of the answer to Mitsukuni's question. I did not know if I liked her in that way. I did not know if I felt attraction or if I felt affection. But I did know that I felt attachment. I was scared that she would not be alright. I was terrified that something so horrific had happened and that during the time she went through it, I had done absolutely nothing. That is what I knew about her. I was terrified of losing her.

So what did that mean?

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* * *

"_What_ happened?"

"The bloodwork shows an extraordinary amount of epinephrine and from her verbal responses along with the nice bump on her head, it seems she had quite the panic attack. During her panic attack she may have stumbled due to some dizziness, tripped and hit her head on something hard, knocking her out cold. We've given her a mild sedative for now to keep her calm. Otherwise, she is just fine. No concussions or any sort of lasting damage."

The doctor rattled off, checking through his clipboard in case he needed to give me any more relevant information. I nodded for his dismissal, turning back to the girl who lay on the bed, looking around the room in a daze. Takashi was sitting next to the bed, his face showing no expression, but the fact that he had not budged from his spot this entire time said enough about what he was feeling. Mitsukuni was quietly sitting in the corner, twiddling his thumbs and swinging his feet in the all-too-tall chair. The doctor subtly waved me over to follow him outside of the room. Gently, I closed the room door behind me. He leaned in closer, clearing his throat and looking around as if to tell me a secret.

"Mr. Ootori...I have a feeling that this is not her first panic attack. She should probably consider going on regular medication to avoid this in the future. You should also let her know that a therapist, or at least a counselor, is recommended. I was unable to reach her parents on the phone, your friend there told me he had alerted them and that they would be on their way, but it would be at least three hours before they made it here because of all the work traffic at this time."

The implications from his hushed tones told me that perhaps this was slightly more serious than I had given it credit for. I looked at the doctor and asked him the lingering question point blank.

"Are you saying she's depressed or currently some sort of psychological issue?" He coughed at my question, seeming somewhat uncomfortable because of it. He fixed his glasses before responding to me.

"Well as you know Mr. Ootori...in Japan we do not really diagnose for depression. Our culture sees it as laziness. I won't officially say it's depression as I'm not a psychiatrist, but I can say that panic attacks do not just appear and that there are a lot of emotional and psychological issues which lead up to them. I recommend that she see somebody about them before it becomes any more serious-ah." The beeper at his belt went off and he bowed and excused himself, rushing off down the hallway in a hurry to see his next patient emergency. I turned around and looked through the window of the door, watching the girl clumsily trying to change the channel on the television. Takashi eventually helped her, grabbing the remote and flipping through the channels for her.

I felt this...this heavy weight. I tried to deduce what would cause her current emotional state and I honestly didn't believe it started with her transferral to Ouran Academy. It seemed to me that she had deep-seeded issues dating from way back-_but_, her run in with the Host Club seemed to act as a catalyst and disturb the emotions and issues which once were repressed out of sheer stubbornness and lack of options. Now the only way her own brain knew how to deal with the problems she had been harboring for years was to panic. Through a mixture of anxiety, depression, and mild trauma, she was sent into a dizzying panic.

I re-entered the room and again looked at the girl who was staring blankly at the television with her mouth half open.

_You'll catch flies like that._

But I knew it wasn't her fault. She was on a sedative. It was impressive that she hadn't fallen back asleep already. Takashi gave me a very scrutinizing stare, probably sensing that there was some sort information I was currently withholding. I glanced at my watch and compared the list of things I had to finish by the days end to the amount of time I had left in the evening.

I would be back later.

I had...things...to sort.

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* * *

"Yeah mom, I'm fine. I'm just tired."

"You need to be more careful! You're very lucky that your friend was there or else who knows what could've happened?! Don't you know-"

"-Dear." My hushed her and put an arm around my distressed mother's shoulders who was currently overreacting. I forced a yawn, feigning exhaustion.

"Don't worry mom. I'll be out of here tomorrow they said. They're just keeping me overnight to make sure I didn't hit my head too hard."

"She's tired dear. We should let her sleep." My father insisted, falling for my act. My mother nodded at him and leaned over me to kiss my forehead, her gentle touch momentarily providing me with comfort.

"Be careful Momoku next time. We love you very much. Get some rest, we'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye mom. Bye dad." My father gently patted my head, the only paternal gesture he ever seemed capable of. When they left and shut the door I immediately sat up and reached for the television remote. I felt antsy, excited, tired and energetic all at the same time. I _never_ had this many channels on TV before. This hospital had _every. single. channel._ including HBO. They had Game of Thrones on HD and-

I tossed the remote as a reaction to the door suddenly opening, turning to the door and looking like I had just been caught doing something terrible. It was Kyouya.

He raised an eyebrow, steadily walking over and picking up the remote off of the floor and placing it on my bedside, looking at me with a questioning glance. I squirmed a bit in the bed, feeling more nervous than usual. I cleared my throat, coughing a couple times and turning the television off. What did he want?

_You should probably say thank you. You're at one of his hospitals...again._

And again, he probably covered the costs. Or would somehow expect me to pay them. I began to feel increasingly anxious.

"Did I interrupt your television watching time?" He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he sat down at the table across from my bed. He spread out a number of papers as if he were settling himself for a long period of time.

"Ah..um..no. I just um, was about to take a nap." I lied, trying to think of the most feasible way to get him out of the room so that I could return to watching Game of Thrones. Tyrone Lannister had just married that ugly ginger girl and I wanted to see what was going to happen.

But I should have known better than to lie to Kyouya Ootori. When I laid back down and closed my eyes, I could hear the sound of him taking out his laptop and his fingers clacking away at the keyboard. He was, in fact, making himself even more comfortable. He wasn't going to leave. I mentally sighed, cursing myself for not just growing the balls to tell him to leave.

_But you'd be an ingrate if you did._

True. He had allowed me such excellent care in his hospital and he hadn't said a word about payment yet. Key word, _yet_.

"I know you're not really sleeping." His voice came and I groaned, shutting my eyes tighter as if that would enhance the illusion of me being asleep. I could hear him sigh and get up, coming over towards me. I tensed, wondering if he was about to give me a good smack to the head.

Instead I could feel him lean over me, the shadow of his body darkening the inside of my eyelids and the warmth of his chest ever so slightly brushing the side of my head.

"If you're going to pretend, at least put your bed into a sleeping position."

_Baka baka baka._

I felt my bed which had been at a 45 degree angle slowly go down into a much more comfortable sleeping position as he pushed the buttons above on the headboard. I hadn't even thought about the fact how awkwardly I had been positioned for sleeping. When he straightened up and walked back to the table, I could still smell his cologne lingering in the air around me. It was a different one than the one I smelled last time...it smelled really nice.

"You know, people don't usually smile like an idiot in their sleep." Came his voice.

"Ooooommph!" I made a frustrated noise and sat up, glaring at the smartass who wasn't even looking in my direction. I leered at him, pursing my lips and annoyed out of my mind at whatever stupid mind-game he was playing.

"How long do you plan on staying there?!" I asked with a good level of hostility but Kyouya was unaffected, simply taking a sip of his tea.

_When did he bring tea?_

"Calm down. The medication they have given you have made you a bit hormonal. I have something to discuss with you." I rolled my eyes. Whatever he had to say to me probably was a lecture. I flopped back onto the bed in a huff, pulling the blankets over my head in stubbornness.

"I don't want to talk to you." I called from under the blankets, trying to ignore how childish I sounded.

"Well then I will wait until you do."

"Hmph."

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

* * *

In my stubbornness I must have actually fallen asleep because when I forcefully peeled my eyes open, it was dark. The curtains had been shut and the room lights had been turned off. The only source of light in the room was a glowing blue light-I turned my head-from Kyouya's laptop.

I felt more level headed as I turned and looked at the stubborn human sitting in front of his laptop as if he had never moved. A quick glance at the clock on the machine next to me told me that it was midnight.

"You are a very stubborn man Ootori-san."

"Not stubborn. Busy. I haven't been sitting here twiddling my thumbs." He turned to me, rubbing the inside corners of his eyes as he placed his glasses on the table. I looked on, completely interested to see what he looked like without his glasses. Up until this point, I was half-convinced that they were glued to the bridge of his nose, never to come off unless with a jackhammer. When he finally looked up at me...

_Oh god this is so corny._

But my breath had been taken away.

His hair was slightly unkempt from having been in this hospital room for so long and the blue light from his laptop screen reflected off of his eyes, giving him an eerie but magical look. The light framed the side of his face, his flawless skin showing no hint of any bumps or scars and his lips being outlined with that thin blue strip. I was actually startled by the way he looked. This looked to be a more human Kyouya Ootori. His flesh looked like flesh and his skin looked like it was actually soft. His eyes didn't seem to be soulless black pits and he looked like he actually had a soul.

He was beautiful.

My eyes trailed from his angular jaw to the nape of his neck, also lit by the blue glow, down to his collarbone that was revealed just above where his shirt buttons had stopped. At some point he had undone the top couple buttons and loosened his tie, making him look so vulnerably _human_.

I would probably never get the opportunity to see him like this ever again.

"Even without my glasses I can tell you're staring. What is it now?" I couldn't tell if he were annoyed or amused. Regardless of how he felt, I was still somewhat embarrassed.

"Ah I..uh. Sorry."

"I still need to talk to you. If you're done being stubborn, come over here so I can discuss something with you." He said, waving his hand at the chair across the table from him. I was about to move when I suddenly felt very self-conscious in my hospital gown. It was this ugly, crisp blue gown that made me look like I had gained 200 lbs. I rethought my decision.

"Um..I think I'll just stay here...I can hear you just fine..." I heard a somewhat exasperated sigh and watched as he stood up, coming over to my bedside and waving his arm for me to move.

_Eh?_

"Move over you stubborn child. I'm tired and I want to sit. I don't feel like talking to you from across the room." I hurriedly moved over to the very edge of my bed, making room for him to sit next to me. He sat down and pulled up his feet onto the bed, letting me see his plain black socks as his feet rest at the end. I actually didn't feel too nervous sitting next to him on the bed, if anything I felt more comfortable. I felt less scared like this.

"Is it something bad?" I asked, wondering what it possibly could be that he waited this entire time in the room to talk to me. Granted he was obviously doing work as well while he was here, but he could have done it anywhere else. Why here? Was he going to drop some sort of atomic bomb on me?

He looked down at me with an annoyed expression before leaning back against the headboard and closing his eyes.

"Why do you always think it's bad news?"

"Because it always is..." I mumbled and he opened one eye at me, effectively silencing me.

"It's neither good or bad really. I guess it depends on how you choose to take it."

"..okay. What is it?" I asked now more curious than ever. What kind of news could have different interpretations from Kyouya Ootori? He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he went back to closing his eyes again and sitting back against the headboard.

"The doctor who treated you today told me that he heavily recommends you see a therapist along with a psychiatrist to prevent future panic attacks."

_Ehhhh?_

I snapped my head to look at him, disbelieving what I heard. A _therapist_? What did he think? Did..did he think that..

"Do you think I'm a crazy person?"

"No. And neither does the doctor. He believes...he believes that you are depressed. He would like you to see somebody to treat it and get it properly diagnosed."

_What?_

"That's stupid, I'm not depressed." I drew my knees up to my chest, reverting back to my normal position of curling into myself. Kyouya still kept his eyes closed.

I wasn't crazy. I wasn't depressed. I just had abnormally shitty days after the other.

"But you only recently started having panic attacks. If anything you should see a qualified specialist for that." His words were logical and his reason was sound. It wasn't normal for someone to just start having panic attacks.

"What if I don't want to?" I didn't want to. I most certainly didn't want to. The thought of seeing a therapist was daunting and the thought of my parents hearing that I needed a psychiatrist was mortifying. What would my mother say? Would she be ashamed of me? I felt like I knew exactly what she'd say. She'd tell me I was just being an over-emotional teenager and that I was just trying to find ways to get out of schoolwork. I hugged my knees tighter to myself.

"Legally, nobody can force you. But I would recommend it. I know several people I can recommend."

"I don't want to." My father would agree with my mother. He would say that I was just overreacting; that I was just hormonal because I was a teenager; that I had nothing to be depressed about when there was nothing wrong in my life.

"Again I insist that-"

"Kyouya..." I didn't mean to call him by his first name. I had never done that before without at least some sort of honorific, but I felt that this had become an appropriate moment. He didn't react.

"Yes?"

"Is this...is this what you waited all this time to talk to me about?" None of this made sense. This couldn't possibly high up on his priority list of things to worry about. What was going on in his head?

"Again, I told you I wasn't just sitting here twiddling my thumbs." He was avoiding.

"I know. But you still waited here. You did your work here...and it's past midnight. What are...why?" He started to chuckle, just once or twice, but soon enough it had turned into a slow but steady rumbling laugh. It kind of...it kind of freaked me out. I stared at him, bewildered and somewhat unnerved as his laughter tapered off back into a low chuckle.

"I don't know. I don't know why."

"Um-"

"I don't know why. I don't know why I'm involved in your life at all. I don't know why I wanted to help you with your schoolwork. I don't know why I stayed here all day. I don't know why I felt so..." He turned his head to look at me, the smile having disappeared from his face and having been replaced with his normal blank expression. But without his glasses, even in the dark, I could see...I could see _something_.

"When Morinozuka called me to get a hospital room ready for you, I didn't feel anything. I wasn't worried. Not until I saw him carrying you in. You looked really gross, you know that?"

"Thanks a lot-"

"I'm not done. You did look really gross. Your hair was stuck to your face under dried sweat, you reeked of puke. You had vomit on your chin and all over your uniform. And when I saw you, I felt uncomfortable. I felt very uncomfortable. After sitting here for so long I had come to realize that this entire time, I had been worried. But I don't know why."

What kind of confession was this?

But even I wasn't so dense that I didn't realize the significance of this confession. It wasn't overly sentimental or anything particularly special like that...

But it was unlike him.

And that's what made it extraordinary.

In one fell swoop Kyouya Ootori had admitted to caring for me.

I looked back up at him, trying to suppress the startling feeling of having his eyes staring back into mine. He put his hand to the side of my face and frowned.

"There's something very interesting about you. I don't know what. It's not like you stand out in any particular field. And yet I find myself becoming involved in your life all the goddamn time. Now why is that?"

I would have been more offended if his hand weren't on my face, distracting me very thoroughly. He was touching me. Kyouya Ootori was touching me. He was touching my face.

You know how they say that men were given a brain and a penis but not enough blood to run both at the same time? What about girl's? Where was all the blood running to now? Because it sure wasn't to my brain.

"I-I-I..I don't...I don't.."

"We need to figure that out soon, because you're becoming pretty...inconvenient."

At first I thought it was my eyes playing tricks on me, but I soon realized that his face was coming closer to mine. He was leaning in at a painstakingly slow pace, his hand slipping from my face to my neck and from my neck to my shoulder.

_Is he going to..._

_This isn't happening._

_No way this is happening._

_This isn't happening._

_Oh God this isn't happening._

And it wasn't.

He didn't kiss me.

Instead head had dropped to the nape of my neck and I sat frozen still, wondering what the hell had just happened.

"...K...Kyouya..?"

No answer.

But as I sat there frozen, I heard a very small rumble.

_Is..is he snoring..?_

I bit my lip as I leaned back and relaxed. It took a lot to stop myself from bursting out into laughter as the boy lay his head on my shoulder.

The Shadow King had fallen asleep.

_I guess you have your limits too._

It was good to know that he was at least mortal.


	18. Snowfall

Hola! I guess I should take some time to respond to a few recurring comments or certain questions that I'm sure others have been wondering but haven't asked.

1. Characters being fan-ficcy - Well yes, they are. I'm not sure if any of you have read the manga _and _ watched the anime, but everyone is pretty much a very shallow character with a very standard sort of personality. Very little depth is ever explored in the characters and so in a fanfiction, since this is one, I am left with only the option of having the shallow sort of interactions shown on the show/manga or the option to interpret in whatever way I can, using what the anime/manga gave me for a skeleton. I feel this is unavoidable since the original characters, honestly (no matter how much I love the anime/manga) are pretty shallow.

2. Momoku is/is not Mary-Sue - Some of you think she isn't Mary-Sue, others think she is. That's quite good! I would also like to point out that Haruhi herself is a pretty Mary-Sue character in both the manga and the anime. Any female main character that is going to be in an Ouran fanfic will have a very hard time avoiding being the Mary-Sue. That is, unless I really restrict the interactions she has with the rest of the Host Club. I think an OC generally falls into the Mary-Sue role because she _is_ the main character. You want action/drama/whatnot to happen to the main character, otherwise, why are you reading this? She is a balance of Mary-Sue, what teenage girls want to see, and reality. Unfortunately I am too untalented to make a brand new novel/story of my own, so I'm limited to fanfiction :D

3. No Japanese currency and such - Ah! Yes. Because I am **much too lazy** to convert it or to think about how much things will cost. Also, did you know that in Japan there are only technically 3 years of 'high school'? I structured the high school years to go to 4 like in America, otherwise there wouldn't be any more interaction between Momoku and Mori. Not to mention, I feel a lot of my readers (since almost 98% of you are from America) would be a little confused. I would like to note that the mangaka artist/writer of the Ouran High School Host Club also ran into this problem, and her way of solving it was by just eliminating the issue of time altogether.

4. Thank you for everyone's support and especially the constructive criticism. I sincerely appreciate it and will keep in mind all the comments people have made to make this a more worthwhile fanfiction for your reading pleasure. Please do not ever hesitate to tell me the bad or the good. All I ask is that it not be "ur fanfic sux". If you think it sucks, please tell me why so I know what some readers dislike.

5. For the love of cheese, please don't let me know how young you are. It's rated M! :P

Again, thank you! Thank you for the constructive criticism and the compliments! Without you guys I would be lost and floundering.

* * *

Through the Ootori medical team I had been diagnosed with mild anxiety and had been given a prescription for my 'anxiety attacks'.

_Take one pill when you feel the onset of an anxiety attack._

It was utter bullshit honestly. I didn't have mild anxiety. What I had was Ouran High School. I'd put a grand down on a bet that if I were attending my regular high school I wouldn't have any issues with anxiety. Anxiety anxiety anxiety. Blah blah bullshit if you ask me. I think they just wanted to diagnose _something_ since Kyouya had asked them to look into it.

"Oi. Lunch today?" A bored Kasanoda asked me, his eyes droopy and his face leaning up against his hand. Math really wasn't either of our strong points.

"Hai hai." I responded, writing down the equations on the board that I still wasn't able to fully grasp. My test scores had dramatically improved since I had started to receive tutoring though. Mr. Himuro had even remarked on the change. At least we had moved on from derivatives...but now we were on natural logs? What was natural about these number? These numbers were stupid.

When the bell rang I breathed a sigh of relief, lightly whacking Kasanoda on the arm as he snorted at me. He lazily picked up his school bag and slung it over his shoulder before stretching out his other arm.

"Let's go eat on the roof. It's going to be the last warm day for this year." I said and Kasanoda nodded, heading up the stairs with me, his lunch box being held in an expensive silk wrap. It was odd to see him with something so delicate. But I guess it made sense that even the 'gangsters' at Ouran came from money too. Every time I stepped into the sunlight it was like walking through a gateway into an alternate world. The warmth of the sunshine hit you like a wall and the fresh breeze slapped you in the face-in an enjoyable way.

"Here." Kasanoda handed me a separate bento box, surprising me somewhat, and as I opened it excitedly I did my best to keep my face from falling.

It looked like an ogre had put together this lunch.

As we sat on the cement wall which was only about two feet from the flat surface of the rooftop and a foot in width, I considered tossing the the lunchbox over 'accidentally'.

It looked horrifying.

When I glanced up I saw that Kasanoda was anxiously waiting for my reaction, the scary stare on his face about to set me on fire.

"So uh...try it." He encouraged and I had a feeling that this lunch wasn't all about being a nice friend. I slowly picked up my chopsticks and took a good mouthful, chewing slowly as I tasted the lunch Kasanoda had made with his own hands.

I could feel the vomit rising up in my throat, but with sheer willpower I forced it back down.

"Is it good? Is it okay?" He asked excitedly and I attempted to smile, but what came out was a more nauseous expression. I saw his face fall and he sighed, reaching over and smacking the lunch box off the rooftop as I had considered doing just moments ago.

"Fuck it."

"Kasanoda...why did you make lunch?" Upon my question he turned a shade of red, clearing his throat as he tried to play nonchalant.

"I wanted to test it out." He grumbled and that was enough information for me to go on.

"You wanted to give your homemade lunch to someone else, but wanted to make sure that it tasted okay before you did so." He grinned sheepishly at me before shrugging his shoulders.

"Sorry for making you my test subject."

"Who's the girl?" I asked, feeling a very small pang of jealousy. Now, I had _no_ romantic interest in Kasanoda. But I definitely never had a guy make me lunch with his own two hands...as awful as that had been, it was sweet. Someone had caught Kasanoda's interest enough to get him to make lunch.

"Well...it's complicated."

"How so?"

"Everyone thinks she's a guy but I know she's a girl...but it's supposed to be kept a secret so..you know what..nevermind." He mumbled and I felt the remaining bits of rice in my throat start to get stuck.

_Let me guess._

"You've got the hots for Haruhi too huh?" I asked and he turned a brilliant red, spinning at me with a glare that would give a grown man a heart attack.

"How do-"

"I went to school with Haruhi in middle school. Only the idiots at Ouran don't know that she's a girl."

"Ah..yeah..well..yeah…"

* * *

"Your grades have been going up. According to your rankings you've made it to the top quarter of the school. Looking at the grades you originally started from, that is a significant improvement. But you're still several dozen places below me and Haruhi."

"Yeah."

"You still have a lot of improving to do."

"Yeah."

"...your parents are pleased I'm sure."

"Yeah."

I could almost smell the frustration coming from him because of my one-word answers, but I was distracted and not wanting to have a conversation with him. The magical aura of Kyouya disappeared after I had to see him three times a week for tutoring. It's not like he was even the one tutoring me, he usually wasn't even present, only checking in once in a while to give a disapproving look at my practice tests. But at this time, Kyouya was too stubborn to admit that my lack of conversation was bothering him since he usually was the one frequently telling me to 'shut up and stop talking' whenever I wanted a distraction from the tutoring sessions. I wasn't intentionally trying to piss him off, I simply was distracted.

Well not distracted.

Just out of it.

I actually hadn't had a real conversation with my parents for several weeks now that I thought about it. I would get up early, catch the train to school, do my school thing, go to after school tutoring, eat dinner someone on the way home, and then by the time I got home, my parents were already deep into watching their asian dramas on television. I would then go straight to my room and finish up my homework, listen to music, browse the internet...and then bedtime.

Time seemed to fly by lately. Honey-senpai had respectfully kept his distance from me since the incident and as he kept his distance, Takashi kept his distance as well. The twins never had any interest in me to begin with and since I didn't share any classes with Haruhi, it meant that I didn't share any time with them. Haruhi never had the opportunity to bug me either. With her Host Club Activities, she seemed constantly pre-occupied.

Migi still hadn't returned any of my calls or texts. I guess it was official. She no longer wanted to be my friend. I had no clue what I had done to piss her off, but I guess I pissed her off.

The best part about time flying by is the way that everything goes by you without actually affecting you. I had stopped eating my lunch in the bathroom stalls and either ate in the corner of the cafeteria by myself or with Kasanoda-whenever he wasn't serving detention at least. The stares from other students had lessened and by now I had stopped noticing them.

"Reviewing your practice exams and previous calculus exams, you lose a lot of points making careless mistakes. You could have an A average had you proofread your work."

_Nag nag nag_.

"I'll make sure to proofread in the future." I responded blankly, staring at my reflection off of his glass coffee table. Today was going to be like all the other days. By the time I'd get home my parents would be watching the 6th episode of Boys Over Flowers even though it was a drama meant for teenage girls. My mom was always a sucker for that kind of thing anyways. That kind of garbage also convinced her that I'd find my rich husband at this school. Little did she know that the closest any Ouran student ever came to flirting with me was Hiiro Yue who told me that I might be pretty if I got a nose job. He was a real charmer.

"You think I should get a nosejob, senpai?" I asked and Kyouya arched an eyebrow at me as if I had asked a stupid question. I did ask a stupid question.

"Not that you can afford one, but it is a common trend amongst young women nowadays to get nosejobs." I'm not sure what kind of answer I was expecting. I definitely didn't expect him to say _**'of course not, you're beautiful the way you are'**_, but me expecting harshness didn't make his response any less so. Hah. A nosejob. I turned my head to the side to get a better look at my nose's profile. It wasn't that bad.

"You shouldn't be thinking about nosejobs when you're making careless mistakes on your exams." Came his strict voice and I narrowed my eyes at him. Always business with Kyouya.

"Yeah yeah.."

"But since you apparently have so much free time to think about stupid things, let me give you something to do for tomorrow. The usual baker just sent me an email saying he has to fly out for a family funeral. This means we won't have our usual baker catering our cupcakes for tomorrow's Host Club event. I need you to make 200 cupcakes for tomorrow's afterschool Host Club."

"_What?!_ Are you kidding me?! 200?! I'm going to be up all night-"

"Tomorrow is the school's Harvest Festival. It's more or less a political mingling of Ouran and a couple other schools to show how nice our school is. Since there are no classes you can use that time to use the facilities and bake them."

"...you sure had this planned out…" I muttered.

"I always do."

Smartass.

"Why should I help you? What's going to happen if I don't help you?" I asked more out of curiosity than actual stubbornness. I knew that regardless of my opinion, Kyouya would somehow force me to do it anyway. I enjoyed listening to his threats. 80% of the time they were really convincing. The other 20% of the time, I was relatively sure that he was just bluffing.

But Kyouya tended to be much smarter than me, so he knew exactly what I was doing. He knew that I wasn't actually saying no. He went back to looking at his laptop.

"While you're here, give me a list of the ingredients you'll need and the club will have them ready for you by tomorrow."

"Yeah yeah. Whatever."

* * *

She stared at the wall while she stirred the batter, mindlessly moving her arm counterclockwise without really blending all of the mixture. In fact, it looked like there were clumps everywhere in the mixture. She didn't seem sad or anything, if anything, she looked pretty content and mildly brainless. Next to her were the test cupcakes. They looked very nice.

"Ah.." I interrupted to get her attention. She turned to me her expression not changing and even offering a bit of a smile.

"Hai Mori-senpai...the test cupcakes are right there." She pointed to the tray left of her and when I picked it up I lingered for a bit, wondering how long it had been since I had been in this close proximity to her. I knew that Kyouya had been regularly spending time with her for tutoring, but other than that, I don't think she actually had much contact with anyone from the Host Club. Maybe I should ask her how she's been? Ask her what she's been up to? How she's been getting used to Ouran?

She didn't pay me much attention and returned to mixing the batter and staring at the wall again. Perhaps I'd ask her how she was doing some other time. I picked up the tray and went back to the room where all the other hosts were seated, placing the tray in front of an over-excited Mitsukuni and a working Kyouya.

"Yay! The test cupcakes are here! Aren't you excited Kyouya-chan?"

"Of course Honey-senpai." Kyouya reached out for one without looking up from his laptop, wiping some of the frosting off onto the napkin before taking a bite. Mitsukuni grabbed two and went for the double-fisting technique, shoving them both into his mouth at the same time. I was curious enough to take one too, grabbing the one with red frosting and taking a small bite.

_Hmm…._

Kyouya finally looked up from his laptop to peer at the cupcake he held in his hand. Mitsukuni's chewing slowed drastically and the cloud of excitement had slowly dissipated into the atmosphere.

Honey was the first to speak.

"This tastes...umm...this tastes...not like what she usually makes…Hm..this tastes.."

"Bland." Kyouya finished and I was inclined to agree.

It tasted like the grocery store cupcakes made and prepackaged by machines. They weren't awful...they were okay….but again, they tasted very generic.

"Hmm...these won't do at all." Kyouya said, peering at the cupcake as if he expected to be able to see which part of the cupcake made it taste so lackluster. I looked at the cupcake as well. It looked normal enough.

"I'll have to let her know that her test cupcakes were not up to par-"

"-I'll talk to her." I interrupted, taking another bite of the cupcake as I made my way back to the kitchen. There in the kitchen she was sitting on the counter with her earbuds in and listening to her ipod. Another batch of cupcakes had already been put into the oven. I walked up to her and gently pulled one of them out, causing her to jump slightly when she finally noticed me.

"Ah! Mori-senpai...is something wrong?" Before I could say anything she glanced to the cupcake in my hand and grabbed it, looking at the two bite marks in it before turning it around to take a closer look. "The cupcakes didn't turn out well huh?"

"Ah…" I was trying to find a way to say it without it being mean, but she already knew. She didn't seem too bothered and took a bite from the other side of the cupcake, scrunching up her face as she tasted it.

"Hmmm…." She murmured, taking another bite out of the cupcake as she continued to think about it.

"It's not that bad...though I guess it's probably not up to Kyouya's standards. He should've hired a professional anyway if he wanted them to be perfect." She grumbled in annoyance, tossing the cupcake towards the trash and missing it by a mile. I leaned over and picked it up, placing it into the trashcan. She didn't notice though, she was too busy staring at the other test cupcakes that were next to her with an indiscernible expression. I wasn't sure if she was even bothered by this.

"Ah-"

"I'll make new ones. Whatever. I'll get right on it."

"Let's go for a walk."

"Eh?"

Finally, there was some sort of emotion on her face, even if it was just surprise.

Was this what it was like to interact with me?

* * *

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable as we walked through the school hallways which had been eerily abandoned for the harvest festival occurring in the ballroom. We walked slowly, surprisingly at my own pace which meant that Takashi was doing little more than shuffling his feet. This silence was something different and unnerving in comparison to what I had gotten used to recently. Coincidentally, I had been fiddling with the gift in my pocket; the thing he had given me right before saying goodbye to me at the end of summer.

_All that hard work_.

In under five minutes, the silence and being alone with Takashi made it feel like all the progress I had built up in being comfortable and apathetic was melting away. I was suddenly aware of the pace of my breath...and the smell of it. Did I brush my teeth thoroughly this morning?

I ran a hand through my hair.

Did I brush my hair properly?

I began to mat my hair down, feeling suddenly self-conscious of how frizzy it currently was. What about my dress? Did I tie it evenly? I think my bow was crooked. Was I still patting my hair? Did I look like a crazy person?

_Act cool, you moron._

"How are you?" He asked and that oh-so-familiar deep tremor made my insides shiver like the first time I had met him.

"Fine." I answered curtly. I didn't mean it to come out that way though…

"You don't seem as stressed lately." He noted and I snorted, tucking a rogue lock of hair behind my ear.

"Yeah. I guess. I just sort of..um..stopped caring as much."

"Ah…"

We retreated back into silence and my mind started to wander again. It was getting cold again now that it was in the middle of November. Even though the corridors were open to the elements, the heat was blasting into the hallway, making it comfortable to walk through despite the cold weather. It was really an exuberant waste of energy and money, but I think they enjoyed doing that. I bet they threw money into a paper shredder for fun and used the shreddings as hamster bedding-assuming they even knew what it was like to keep a pet hamster. Would rich girls equate hamsters with rats?

"How are you?" Came his voice again, snapping me out of my reverie. At some point we had made it to the third floor. I didn't even remember going up the stairs.

_Didn't he just ask that question like thirty seconds ago?_

"Fine." I answered the same answer without thinking again. Again I kicked myself for sounding so curt.

_He definitely had just asked the question._ I thought to myself, wondering why Mori-senpai was asking me the same question. Maybe he had forgotten that he had just asked me that. Maybe I was just so boring that with my amazing charm I rendered him incapable of starting a conversation with me. We were slowly making our way down the third floor hallways and I started to be bothered by Mori-senpai. He wasn't saying much and he was the one who said we should take a walk. Why did he ask for a walk?

"How are you?"

"Why do you keep asking that?!" I snapped at him suddenly, stamping my feet and refusing to walk one more step. His expression didn't change and he looked at me with the same stoic face he always wore. I glared at him, wondering if he were playing some stupid kind of game. It wasn't like Mori-senpai to play games. He never treated me poorly like the other members of the Host Club.

He still said nothing.

"I said I'm fine! Why do you keep asking?" I asked in a much calmer tone and Mori-senpai paused, turning around with his hands in his pockets and looking like he were posing for a picture...but I don't think he was aware of that. My breathing was a little heavy now though it's not like I had been doing any exercise and my face was starting to heat up. Why was I getting worked up over this? What was Mori-senpai getting at?

"Because you are not being honest."

"What do you mean? You just think I'm always miserable don't you?" I was having a difficult time not shouting at him. His accusation came out of nowhere and it was making me uncomfortable. What was Mori-senpai doing? Was he messing with me? It really wasn't like him to mess with me.

But as he looked at me, I didn't feel that he was being malicious. His eyes were sincere despite his face being otherwise unreadable.

"You're just ignoring your feelings."

I marched up to him and narrowed my eyes at him. Who did he think he was? Making stupid accusations like that?

"What are you? A shrink? Stop pretending like you're this super insightful doctor! You're just a kid in high school." I lashed out and I meant every word. Who did he think he was? He was nothing but a high school student just like me and yet he stood there as if he had the world's wisdom resting inside of his handsome little head. I was fine.

_I'm fine._

_I am just fine._

Yeah I've been ignoring things, but it's easier that way. I ignore my classmates because they're assholes. I ignore the Host Club because they're assholes too. I ignore everyone else because it's not like they ever have anything nice to say. I ignore my parents because it's not like they actually care about what I say.

And you know what?

It's been working just _fine _these past few weeks.

"I didn't mean that…" He said gently, but I was already angry with him.

"Whatever." I moved to push past him but he reached out, grabbing my arm and stopping me from moving any further. The sudden touch was a jolt to my body. His hand was warm and his grip was strong-just what you would expect from a man like Takashi Morinozuka. And I was hit with a wave of deja vu.

* * *

"_Are you alright?" He asked, but I barely heard him. I shrugged, my head aching and my chest tight._

"_Yeah. I'm fine." I heard him take a couple steps towards me, but I wasn't paying attention. I was replaying Kyouya's words in my head over and over again, remembering just how awful he was and how mean he had been. Why did he have to be so mean to me? What did I ever do to him?_

_I felt warm hands being placed on my shoulders._

"_Are you alright?" He asked again and this time I snapped out of it. _

_Suddenly his warmth and his presence welcomed me and I found myself closing the gap between us, wanting to feel the warmth of his body against me like a shield. When I felt his arms wrap around me, the last of my will had snapped and I was unable to hold back._

_I started to sob uncontrollably, my body shaking as I let flow the torrential wave of emotion that had nothing to do with him. I buried my face deeper into his chest, embarrassed by the ugly sounds my mouth was making as I cried. _

_He held me tighter and I had never felt so safe...so warm...so...it felt like a home._

_I don't know how long he held me as I cried myself to a blubbering mess, but he stayed without complaint. I started to hiccup while I cried, snorting back the snot that was leaking out of my nose. I was self-conscious about how disgusting I was but was completely unable to stop it. I was going to have to get Mori-senpai a new shirt. I desecrated this shirt._

_That's when I felt his hand gently caress the back of my head while his other hand held me to him at the small of my back._

_It felt like I was sinking into his warmth, something that I had never felt before. It felt amazing. I never wanted to leave this feeling and I never wanted to leave this embrace. I buried my face into his shirt some more, trying to lose myself in this feeling. _

_My sobbing slowly came to a stop and I felt exhausted, like I had just used up every ounce of energy with each drop of snot that came out of my nose. I was done._

"_Thank you Mori-senpai." I mumbled, realizing just how awkward of a position I had put him in._

_He ran his hand through my hair and it felt like heaven._

"_Ah." He responded._

_I wondered if I'd ever feel this way again._

* * *

I was overcome with a sudden longing as he held my arm. I was restless and I was unexpectedly filled with this...this...overwhelming loneliness. Mori-senpai looked down at me and I knew he had no clue what stupidity was going through my mind.

"I did not mean to anger you. I-"

"I know." My anger dissipated as I realized how childish I was being. Takashi Morinozuka had never done anything with the intention to hurt me, and he never would. That was not the kind of person Takashi Morinozuka was. The only thing Takashi ever did to me, was try to make me feel better. He comforted me when others were mean and gave me space when he saw that I needed it. He was the only one who ever respected my feelings in their entirety really. I don't know why I was being so unreasonable with him now.

I placed my hand over his and gently pulled his fingers off of me, holding his hand with mine for a moment before I let it drop to his side.

"You're probably right Mori-senpai. I don't think I'm fine either, but I don't want to talk about it. I don't think I'm ready to deal with it right now." I admitted, a lot more honestly than I was hoping to do.

"Ah."

"I'm ready to go bake cupcakes now."

* * *

"Waah! These cupcakes are amazing! Honey-senpai have a bite of mine!"

"Kyouya-san! Where did you get something so delicious? These are the best cupcakes I've ever had?"

While nobody was paying attention, I had edged my way over to the doors and slipped out unnoticed by anyone. I was pretty happy that everyone enjoyed the cupcakes. The second try definitely tasted much better than what I had been making at first. Obviously they had become a hit with the Host Club and their clients. As I made my way down the Ouran High School steps to the chilly outdoors, I opted to refrain from putting in my headphones. It was the first time in weeks that I listened to the silence of the outside. All the other students were at their respective clubs, leaving the path outside to be pretty empty.

I guess I had been avoiding the silence for a while. I guess I had been ignoring everything so as to not feel affected by anything. It was a trade-off though. I hadn't touched a single one of those anxiety pills and I hadn't had any anxiety attacks since that messy day up on the rooftop. I had been avoiding everybody and it had been working out pretty well for me...but Mori-senpai was right. I was in denial and it's not like I could ignore the world forever. Understanding this brought up a lot of questions.

How long would I go without having any friends?

What was I going to do next year? Repeat the same process?

What about the holidays when I'd have no excuse not to spend any time with my parents? Will my time with them be uncomfortable?

Did my parents feel lonely lately? They didn't seem lonely. My mother seemed to be pretty busy herself with a new office job as did my father. They seemed pretty content with their lives.

And when I graduated, would I be able to go to college? Even if I did get into a college, what would I do then? I didn't know what I wanted to be, what I wanted to study...I didn't really have a passion for anything.

"Momoku." I looked up to see a black Cadillac roll up next to me with Mori-senpai sitting in the back. From what I could see, Honey-senpai wasn't in there with him.

"Hi Mori-senpai…" He opened the car door and without being prompted I got into the car and shut the door.

_Man, I'd be the best target for a kidnapping. I don't even ask questions. I just get into the car and even shut the door for you._

"So..uh..are we going somewhere?" I asked after the car had already started to move. Mori-senpai turned to me and handed me a ticket to something.

"Amusement park? We're going to the amusement park? Right now?" I asked in disbelief. I was still dressed in my school uniform and I didn't have a warm enough outfit to be trouncing about all day in the cold November weather. Did he forget that I wanted to keep all my nerve endings functional?

"Ah."

"Senpai...I'm still in my uniform and it's cold.."

"Ah."

_Back to monosyllabic responses I see._

We sat in silence with Takashi looking out the window and me occasionally glancing over at him. He didn't even notice that there was silence in the car, in fact, he looked quite comfortable and content here. Peering out the window, I noticed that we were taking a very odd route to the amusement park that was close by. In fact, we were going the opposite way.

_Maybe we're going to a different one._

But as we rolled up to a very traditional looking Japanese house, I was starting to think we were making a pit stop.

"This is my home." He said getting out of the car and holding his hand out to me. For a moment, I felt like a Disney princess, reaching out my hand to go on a magic carpet ride-

Nah. It was just stone under my feet.

But the touch of his hand was good enough for me.

"Holy shit your house is huge."

I expected a large house...I guess it was a different matter altogether to actually see the large house.

"It's...comfortable." He replied humbly and I snorted, wondering how many times my family's puny little condo could fit into just one section of this building. I followed him, looking around in wonder at the immaculately maintained lawn, the movie-like koi ponds, and the terraced gardens.

"Oniiisan!" A young boy came bounding down from nowhere looking like the spitting image of Mori-senpai...but with slightly longer hair and capable of showing emotion. He had a big, wide, smile on his face as he jumped in front of me, leaning down to get eye level with me. He stared at me with big eyes, grinning like a maniac and as he inspected me.

I was mildly uncomfortable. I felt my face turning red and attempted to move backwards a little bit, but he just leaned in closer to match the distance.

"E-excuse...me…"

"So it's _you_." He stated and I blinked in surprise, clearing my throat and taking a step back. Thankfully, he didn't follow me this time. Instead he straightened up and put one hand on his hip and the other under his chin. He scratched the bottom of his chin like he were some Sherlock character and peered at me.

"Hmm...you're not what I imagined…but.."

"What…?" I stammered out as he circled me like a vulture. I looked towards Mori-senpai, but his face was unreadable.

"Satoshi." Came Mori-senpai's voice, but the boy-er-Satoshi, ignored it. Taking another step towards me and holding out his hand.

"You're perfect! I'm Satoshi! Takashi's younger and better looking brother!" I took his hand, not quite believing that somebody as...lively as this guy was Mori-senpai's relative. He shook it vigorously, closing the hold on my hand with his other.

"Hi..I'm um..I'm Momoku."

"Momoku eh? That's a nice name. So Takashi is taking you to the fair today huh? I was so surprised when he asked if he could have my extra tickets-"

"Satoshi-"

"-because you see he is never interested in going to these things at all." He continued as if Mori-senpai hadn't even interrupted. I smiled, unable to hold back a giggle at a kid who was so charming.

"I was surprised when he told me too." I admitted and he grinned widely, letting my hands go. I looked up at Mori-senpai and he put a hand on my shoulder, reassuring me that everything was all good.

"Hmm. He must have brought you here so that you could change out of that. It's definitely way too cold to-"

_**Riiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiing.**_

Mori picked up his cellphone, glancing at the screen before picking it up.

"Ah." He even answered the phone like that. From the other end I could hear a frantic voice shouting.

"_**It's Honey-senpai! Something happened and now he's locked himself into the music-room and won't come out! Please Mori-senpai! We need your help!"**_

Even from a distance I could discern Tamaki's frantic voice. Mori looked down at me as Tamaki continued to freak out over the phone.

_He's conflicted._

_He doesn't want to leave me._

I reached up and touched his arm, giving him a smile.

"It's okay Mori-senpai. Honey-senpai needs you right now. Please go." He looked down at me and put his hand on my head in assurance and nodded.

"I'm sorry." He apologized and hung up the phone, taking a couple steps towards the gate before pausing and turning back. I smiled and waved.

"Go Mori-senpai! I'll be fine!"

"Ah...I'll be back soon."

"Don't worry big brother!" Called Satoshi, bounding over next to me and putting an arm around my shoulder. "I'll take good care of her and keep her entertained!"

He squeezed my shoulder and waved at the conflicted Mori-senpai, waiting until he was completely out of sight before turning to me with a wide grin.

"Do you like video games?"

* * *

"Mitsukuni."

"No! I'm cursed! She cursed me!" The boy shouted from the other side of the door. Haruhi rolled her eyes as she knocked on the door again, trying to talk some sense into him.

"Honey-senpai...there is no such things as curses."

"Yes there is! Right after she cursed me I lost Usa-chan!"

"Who cursed you Honey-senpai?" Haruhi asked, her patience wearing thin as she gave me a pleading look.

"I can't say! She says bad luck will come if I say!" He cried and I tried the doorknob again. I really didn't want to break the door down, but I would if this was going to continue. The Hitachin twins lifted their ears off of the door and looked at one another with a look of realization.

"It could be…" Kaoru started.

"That girl…" Hikaru continued. If they didn't finish their sentences sooner, I was going to throw one of them through the door.

"Reiko Kanazuki." They finished simultaneously and it hit me. It was that girl who had been following Mitsukuni for the past couple weeks, ever since he helped her up. She was a member of the Black Magic Club with Nekozawa and had been telling Mitsukuni that she was going to be taking his soul. I reached up and silently groaned into my hand, knowing that this had just become a lot more complicated than I had anticipated. I turned around and started walking down the stairs to the basement.

"Ah Mori-senpai! Where are you going?" Haruhi called out after me and I nodded my head towards the direction of the school basement.

"Oh...to get Reiko."

"Ah."

"I'll come with you. Hikaru, Kaoru, keep an eye on Honey-senpai!"

As we made our way down to the basement I assessed the situation which was going to unfold. The fact that Mitsukuni was taking any of Reiko's claims seriously meant that he was beginning to pay attention to her. The reason why Reiko was stalking Mitsukuni was pretty cut and dry. The girl had developed a very deep crush on Mitsukuni but had no social awareness in how to express it or to identify it.

When we reached the basement door I knocked three times. Ever so slowly, the door creaked open as if trying to create a dramatic effect and Nekozawa's face peered out from under his black hood.

"Aaaaah…..somebody from the glorious Host Club has decided to grace us with his presence….And..Haruhi! Ahem...Haruhi…" He broke character for a moment at seeing Haruhi, his face lighting up momentarily. She smiled at him and gave him a bow.

"Hai Nekozawa. We were wondering, could we speak with Reiko for a moment?"

"Reiko..? Hmm….one moment." He shut the door to their lair of darkness, but within moments it was open again, featuring a very pale girl with a pair of dark, brooding eyes. She looked up at me with a flicker of recognition in her gaze, but said nothing as she held up a candle to my face.

"What is it?" She asked, but I was pretty positive she knew exactly why we were here.

"Honey-senpai...um...thinks you cursed him." Haruhi explained and Reiko barely gave her a glance.

"I did." She responded in a deadpan voice. Haruhi gave a nervous laugh, scratching the back of her head as she tried to navigate the conversation.

"Well he's locked himself in the club room and hasn't come out for the past hour. So if you could please let him know it was just a joke-"

"-it wasn't a joke." She responded and I could see that we were going nowhere with this. I stepped forward and she looked up at me, her dark brown eyes uncovered by her equally dark hair.

"You're hurting him." I stated and that's when I saw a reaction go across her face. She didn't want to hurt Mitsukuni, but she so desperately wanted to interact with him. Her weird and awkward way of showing that was by 'cursing' him.

"Please come with us and talk to him."

She didn't respond but she did step out of the basement, blowing out her candle and placing it on the ground as she tightened her cloak around her. She followed as I turned, the clicking of her heels echoing along the stone hallways in a steady metronome beat.

* * *

It was 8:00PM already. Over 4 hours had passed since Takashi had left and we hadn't heard from him yet. I think we had exhausted ourselves of Super Smash Bros. and my stomach starting to complain.

"I'm hungry." He whined from the floor as he lay there, looking up at the ceiling. I grabbed my backpack, dusting off my dress before I stood up.

"I think I should go now. I'll call a cab." I said, pretty disappointed at the waste of an afternoon. I wondered if Takashi was alright. As much as I held a grudge for Honey-senpai, I still hoped that he was okay as well. It must have been something pretty serious if Takashi hadn't called us yet. Satoshi sat up suddenly and smiled at me.

"No don't go! I have an idea. We'll go to the amusement park ourselves. There's no need to waste tickets just because my brother isn't here. Come on! We still have time!"

* * *

She had stood at the door, staring at it for ten minutes straight. I could see her hands shaking as she tried to think of words to say. Beneath that gothic mask of hers she was terrified and embarrassed, unable to put to words the things she wanted to express to a boy she liked. Tamaki wasn't helping by cowering behind Kyouya. I think Reiko had cursed Tamaki once as well.

I rapped my knuckles against the door, making her jump slightly as she realized just how long she had been standing there.

"I won't come out!" Shouted Mitsukuni who was currently unaware that the person who had cursed him in the first place was just on the other side of the door.

"Eeeeh. Honey-senpai...it's getting late...we gotta look for Usa-chan before it gets too dark." Came Kaoru, attempting to goad him out once more.

"I know! Usaaa-chaaaan! But what if she curses me again? What if she curses Usa-chan? What if Usa-chan is lost forever?! I'll make it worse if I leave this room-"

"I have Usa-chan." She interrupted his cries and the shock of her voice stilled Mitsukuni for a moment.

"Please don't hurt Usa-chan…" He cried from the other side of the door. I could see mild distress being displayed on her face.

"You can have Usa-chan if you open this door." The tone of her voice was steady, but I could see that her hands were still trembling.

"Please don't curse me again…" He whined, but the telltale click of the door lock let us know that he was ready. I pushed the door open to a puffy-eyed Mitsukuni who stared at his feet and not at the girl who had taken such great pains to grab his attention.

"May...may I have Usa-chan back..?" He asked shyly and Reiko reached into her cloak, reluctantly pulling out Usa-chan. Mitsukuni snatched it from her hands, causing her to gasp lightly in surprise. He sprinted to me, hiding behind my back and peering out at her. I patted his head.

"I…" Reiko started to say something, but I could see that she didn't know which words to say. Instead, she opted to started making weird hand gestures, as if she were placing a curse on him. Mitsukuni's grip on my shirt tightened.

"Takashi…"

"Ah." I picked him up onto my shoulders and turned around, walking away when I heard the telltale click of heels against the floor.

"I'M GOING TO CURSE THE BOTH OF YOU!" She shouted and I could feel Mitsukuni cringe. I sighed. This girl was _much_ too socially inept for this sort of thing. Mitsukuni leaned down and whispered into my ear.

"Takashi...why is she trying to curse me?" He asked and I continued walking, hearing the rest of the Host Club disperse now that another crisis had been averted.

"Because she is lonely." I answered.

"Lonely?"

"Ah."

I reached into my pocket to pull out my phone. It had been about an hour and a half since I had left Momoku at my house, so it was about time to give them a call. As I punched in her number, I heard the sound of clicking heels getting faster...and closer-

I sidestepped in time to miss being tackled by the crazy little girl, but my hand did not. My phone went flying out of my hand as Reiko sprinted in front of me.

_**Crack!**_

I heard my phone's glass screen shatter against the floor, but neither Mitsukuni or Reiko noticed. They were stuck in a glaring contest with each other.

"What do you want now? Why do you have to curse me and Takashi?" Mitsukuni whined, holding my head as he hid his face into my hair. Reiko opened her mouth, but no words came out. She continued with her weird and mildly spastic hand gestures.

"Takashi, please put me down." Mitsukuni asked gently and I picked him off my shoulders, placing him onto the floor. As he approached her, I went over and picked up my phone to see just how badly the screen had been cracked. From the moment I picked it up, I knew my phone was done for. The screen wasn't even lighting up and the screen had been completely shattered. I was getting more annoyed.

At this point Momoku had probably left.

* * *

It had been a very weird day overall. And as I walked through the noisy amusement park with a boy who looked like the spitting image of Takashi, I was starting to feel withdrawn and out of touch. He was the polar opposite of Mori-senpai, but he had the same goodness in him that his brother had. He was outgoing, he was lively and expressive...he was everything Mori wasn't. It was interesting to experience Mori's family member like this.

"So how did you meet my brother?" He asked, taking a giant bite out of his cotton candy. I mirrored him, stuffing as much as I could fit into my mouth and enjoying the way it started to melt.

"Haruhi was spending her summer with me and that sort of brought about the entire Host Club joining my summer as well."

"Aaaah yes. The infamous Haruhi Fujioka." He nodded sagely, taking another bite. I smiled at the entertaining boy. He was really a pleasure.

"Yes, that Haruhi Fujioka." We passed a booth with a few knock-off plushies and I looked to see if there was anything good.

"She's a very nice girl. Mitsukuni seems to like her a lot too. It's good to see Haruhi has friends outside of the crazy Host Club though." He laughed and I forced a laugh as well to keep the conversation going. We passed another booth that housed a giant Gengar plush and I paused for a moment, wondering how much money someone would have to spend to get that thing. Satoshi stood next to me and looked at the prizes, rubbing his chin.

"See something you like?" He asked and for a moment I thought about saying yes.

"Honey! Oh look honey!" I turned to see a young couple come up to the game with the girl hanging off the guy's arm. She pointed to a prize and I watched him hand the worker five dollars to try his hand at the game.

_That's how carnival prizes should be won._

There was no point in winning a carnival plushie for yourself. There was no fun in that. It really was a childish sentiment, but I wanted a boyfriend to win me a carnival prize too. That was like a staple move in all the movies.

"Nah, carnival prizes are a scam." I rationalized out loud, now feeling even more distant in the moment.

_He could have at least called to let us know what was going on._

_He could have at least called to let me know he wasn't going to show up._

I was starting to feel bitter about all of this. I had planned an evening all to myself in my room, doing homework and watching tv. But no, Mori had come out of nowhere with a surprise asking me to the carnival and threw a handful of excitement into my life only to dash it by not even attending it with me. As much as I liked Satoshi, it wasn't what I had been expecting. I hadn't been expecting to wear Honey-senpai's extra clothes that they had at their home so that I'd be warm. On the bright side, they fit really well. I actually don't know what I expected from the evening. I don't think I was expecting anything since it had been so out of the blue, but whatever was happening now _definitely_ wasn't what I had been expecting. I had expected to spend time with Takashi Morinozuka.

I had _looked forward_ to spending time with Takashi Morinozuka.

"Ooh let's go ride that! Hey come...hello?" I snapped my head up when I realized Satoshi had been speaking to me. He looked concerned and stood in front of me, peering in closely at my face.

"Hey are you alright?"

_Are you alright?_

"_How are you?"_

The day's previous conversations and deja vu settled in again as I looked at the boy who mirrored Takashi's genetics. I smiled.

"No. I think...I think I'm going to go home."

"Oh okay, let me call the driver-"

"I think I'll go home on my own. Please."

"Are you sure? Well...alright then..it was fun hanging out with you Momo-chan! We should do it again!"

* * *

I wasn't sure how it all happened, but I was now sitting in the basement room with Nekozawa, Reiko, and Mitsukuni. We sat cross legged in a circle with Usa-chan at the center. I had no clue how much time had passed and they had already confiscated Mitsukuni's phone, saying that the cellular radiation would negatively affect the magic in the atmosphere.

"We will now begin the incantation to list the curse from Usa-chan."

I tuned them out as I stared at the stuffed bunny in the circle. It was as if I had blacked out between moments from when Reiko had smashed my phone to now. At some point she had convinced Mitsukuni that Usa-chan was already cursed from something and the next thing I knew, we were being dragged into this dark room to lift the curse. Maybe Reiko really did curse me, because this day was not going as I had planned in the least bit. Momoku definitely would have left by now. I would have to apologize to her the following day. I felt incredibly bad about that.

"Takashi, you have to close your eyes."

"Ah." I closed my eyes at Mitsukuni's command, welcoming the completed darkness. I was tired. A good amount of time _must_ have passed because I was very tired from today. It was probably nighttime already, I had no clue because I had been dragged around the school and stuck in this stupid basement all day.

* * *

xoxo

* * *

I sat on a park bench near the carnival, wondering just why all of a sudden I had this weird feeling at the pit of my stomach. Did this feeling come out of nowhere? Or was this one of the things I had been ignoring for the past couple of weeks? Maybe I was just hungry.

I looked to the leftover cotton candy in my hand.

I wasn't hungry.

So what was this feeling?

I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my chin, trying to sift through my vocabulary to identify this unpleasant feeling at the pit of my stomach. It wasn't indigestion. It wasn't painful or anything…

It kind of felt like…

I guess I felt hollow.

_Hollow_.

Yes. That was the word. I felt hollow; empty, lonely, listless, meaningless.

_Lifeless. Void._

I ran out of synonyms to put to the feeling. It was a weird feeling because it wasn't particularly bad. It's not like I felt super-miserable or anything. It just kind of felt…

_...empty? _

Since I couldn't think of another synonym for it, I had to make due with the limited vocabulary that I had. It's not like anyone could judge my thoughts.

It was weird having to assess where my life was at right now. I had no friends really, nobody to talk to in school besides Kasanoda and our conversations were pretty one-sided. Kasanoda wasn't much of a conversationalist. He did give really good glares though. I couldn't remember the last time I even had a conversation with my parents. But they seemed pretty distracted too.

I looked like an idiot on this bench, dressed in a boy's hoodie, jacket, and jeans. I felt like an idiot too. I felt like an idiot because I had gotten my hopes up for today and even though it wasn't Mori's fault that it had gone all wrong...I felt like I should have expected it to go wrong.

_Jesus, when did you become such a Debbie Downer?_

Hah. I was being a mopey little bastard.

I looked at my watch. It was probably time to start going home.

* * *

"Onisan! You're finally home!"

"Satoshi." I was exhausted when I put my backpack onto my room floor, laying down on my bed with my arm over my eyes to block out the ceiling light. I felt the bed dip as Satoshi sat down next to me, obviously full of questions. I was so tired.

"Momoku and I went to the fair by ourselves. I didn't feel like waiting for my slow brother." He teased and I grinned, appreciating that Satoshi was kind enough to take her out when I was unable to.

"Did she get home safely?" I asked out of habit more than anything else. Satoshi made a "hmmmm" sound before responding.

"Ehh...well I think so. When we were at the fair she suddenly decided that she didn't want to be there anymore. She said she wanted to go home by herself." I sat up at this, somewhat bothered that Satoshi hadn't seen her off to her home personally. But then again, it would have been unfair of me to expect that. Satoshi crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You could have at least called." He lectured me and I reached into my pocket and tossed him my shattered cell phone.

"I couldn't use anyone else's cell. We weren't allowed to."

"What? What were you doing?"

"It's a long story...did Momoku have fun?"

"I don't think so."

"Eh?" I sat up to look at Satoshi who was rubbing his chin in thought. He looked at me and narrowed one eye and shook his finger at me.

"I think she was really disappointed that she didn't get to spend her time with you. You owe her an apology."

* * *

"Stop fiddling with that."

"Okay."

"Give it to me."

"I'm putting it away."

"Give it to me. You can have it back after you're done with your homework."

"Jesus, it's like you're my mom-HEY!"

I jumped up to grab back the note that I had been nervously folding and unfolding in my hands, but Kyouya was fast and about a foot taller than me. Also, the glare he gave me made me shrink back to my seat at the table. He raised an eyebrow and gave me a disapproving puff of air from his nostrils before opening the note. As his eyes scanned the note his expression didn't change, but I grew more and more nervous. I was actually really embarrassed. What he was reading was personal, absolutely none of his business, I don't know why he had to butt in-

"A love note I see."

"It's none of your business." I snapped at him and Kyouya responded by giving me a smirk and refolding the note. He tossed it onto the table and picked up the book he was reading before.

"You're right. It's only a note from Matsuko anyway. He writes one to every girl eventually.." He stated dryly and I felt offended by the statement.

It's true that I had no interest in Matsuko, but it didn't mean I wasn't flattered. It wasn't every day I got a love note. In fact, it was the very first love note I had ever received. Maybe I would give Matsuko a try based solely on the fact that he was the only man to ever show any romantic interest in my pathetic existence. I tried to focus on the calculus homework staring back up at me. The natural logs mixed in with complex numbers weren't normally hard, but the more I looked at them tonight, the less they made sense.

_Why did he have to say that about Matsuko's note? _

Goddammit I wanted to feel special. I wanted to enjoy that somebody out there possibly had a crush on me. Somebody who liked me enough to write me a note telling me how much he liked the way I braided my hair. Yeah it wasn't exactly a Shakespearean sonnet in the note, but goddammit it was _something_.

_Does he have to fucking do that? I was feeling good about getting a note._

I couldn't remember the square root of 25. I knew deep down inside that it was 5, but as I stared at my paper the number eluded me. Maybe the square root was actually 972. Maybe that elongated checkmark wasn't even a square root symbol. Maybe I was actually looking at a sum symbol and didn't know it. What if I actually needed to foil an equation before this? Did I miss a step?

_Is he lying? Just fucking with me so that I didn't feel good about getting a note from Matsuko? Or is it true? Did Matsuko really write a note to all the girls?_

"You've been staring at that problem for 10 minutes straight now."

I slammed my pencil down and turned around to glare at him.

_Because of you. You just had to fuck with my head._

"This is the most amount of emotion I've seen from you in the past several weeks. Don't tell me you were actually interested in Matsuko?" He asked with a very strong hint of amusement in his voice. I gritted my teeth for a moment, wondering just how it was possible for Kyouya to know how to piss me off so easily. We had gotten along swimmingly for the past several weeks and now here I was, contemplating murder.

"What's it to you?"

I totally wasn't interested, but that was none of Kyouya's business. Kyouya didn't look up from his book.

"Doesn't matter to me." He didn't sound like he was finished talking. "I didn't expect even you to have such poor taste." He added.

_Of course_.

"And _your_ tastes are impeccable?" I asked snidely and he continued reading his book like he hadn't heard me.

"I wouldn't be so arrogant to say my tastes are impeccable, but they're miles better than yours." He responded and I let out an exasperated sigh, turning back to my calculus homework which had morphed into Egyptian hieroglyphics at some point. I stared at it again, wondering when the number 25 had turned into a box-shaped cat. Did numbers always look at this? This was frustrating. I slammed my homework binder shut and stuffed it into my backpack, shouldering my bag and standing up as if I had somewhere important to go.

"I'm going home." I announced and Kyouya had the grace to put his book down and look at me with an arched eyebrow.

"You're being a bit sensitive about this."

"No, you're just a...you're just a...a _jerk_." I really meant to say 'asshole', but I chickened out at the last second. Kyouya didn't even react to my insult and just sighed as if I were a toddler who had just shit her diapers. One day I'd smack that condescending attitude right out of him. As I moved towards the door Kyouya said something else.

"Don't be childish. I'll have someone drive you home."

"I'm walking. I don't need a ride." I continued to the door and when I was about to turn the doorknob I heard him call after me again.

"I'm not chasing after you."

_What?_

Why would I ever think he'd chase after me? I turned around and gave him a confused look, wondering what the fuck was going through his mind.

"Why would I expect you to-nevermind. I'm going home. Goodbye."

* * *

I scoffed at the childish girl and picked up my book again. Someone had recommended this book to me, stating that it would elicit an emotional response from me, but so far all I had seen was mediocre and abstract writing. The combination wasn't beautiful nor compelling in the least bit. I scanned the page for where I had left off.

_Why would she get so sensitive over a stupid love note?_

Was it the second paragraph?

_There's no way she'd be interested in Matsuko. That dumpy little moron is ranked at 149 in school. He's not even good looking._

House of Leaves was the book I was reading. It had fake footnotes and tried to incite a feeling of terror. I was just getting more annoyed now that I wasn't sure if I had been reading the four page footnote or the actual paragraph.

_It's freezing out there too. She's going to catch a cold. Then she's going to miss school and her grades will drop. All that tutoring will be for nothing._

I looked at the wall and noticed that she hadn't even taken her coat. It wasn't a warm coat to begin with.

_That's her problem. That's the consequence for being an idiot._

I liked to call cases like this the stupid tax. Walk out into freezing weather without a coat and you catch a cold. That's a stupid tax. You tried to commit bank fraud without covering your tracks-stupid tax. You try to cheat on an exam and get caught and subsequently expelled, stupid tax. I looked back to my book.

"Aaaaaaaarrrrgh!" I didn't expect to be so frustrated by her stupidity and surprised myself when I stood up and flung the book I was reading across the room.

For the past several weeks she had been a damn robot, complying with all the tutoring sessions and improving her grades. She barely said a word to me and didn't even react when I had made jibes at her. Finally, a day comes when she stops being a robot and she goes off and does something so stupid as to walk home in unreasonably cold temperatures.

_I'm not going after her._

That's what I told myself as I grabbed two of my winter coats, putting one on and slinging the other one over my shoulder.

_She's an idiot. It was only a stupid love note from Matsuko._

I pocketed my cell phone and opened the door, the cold air hitting my face with some unexpected force. I gripped the extra coat a little tighter, annoyed beyond all belief that _I_ was being an idiot.

_Why are you going after her?_

_You had already said you weren't going to chase after her._

_She's not even playing that 'game'. She honestly doesn't expect you to go after her._

And that's probably why I was doing it. She wasn't playing a game. She wasn't playing that game that women do where they stomp off and expect you to chase after them. She was sincerely angry and she sincerely wanted to get away from me. And that's why I was walking after her in the cold night.

I was going after her because I knew enough that I had hurt her feelings on a much deeper level than I had intended to. It hadn't been necessary for me to comment on Matsuko's worthiness, but I had done it anyway. If I had said nothing, then everything would have been just fine. But no, I felt that she needed to know that Matsuko was a worthless little dump of a human who didn't deserve any of her attention.

_I could easily name several boys who might be interested in her who would be way better than Matsuko. _

I could see her outline near the light of my conveniently long driveway entrance, she had only made it several yards past that. I picked up my pace to catch up to her as I cursed the weather. I should have brought a scarf.

"Hey." I called out, but she hadn't heard me. She was rubbing her arms from the cold.

"_Hey._" I called out a little louder. She still didn't hear me.

"HEY!" I shouted now, causing her to pause in her step and turn around. The look of utter surprise in her face reassured me that she hadn't been playing a game. I jogged up to her and practically threw the coat at her, annoyed that I was even out here. She barely caught it, looking at it as if it were some crazy magical item. I rolled my eyes and reached up, pulling the coat around the shoulders and button the first few buttons. She looked up at me with wide eyes, having been caught completely off guard at the situation. I was pretty surprised at the situation as well, I just did a better job of hiding it.

"Just come back inside and let me get someone to drive you home."

"I told you-"

"It's freezing outside. Don't be an idiot."

"I don't want to-"

"Please." The word seemed to be foreign to her as her expression changed. "Please, just come inside with me."

"Fine." She relented, but I knew she was realizing that she had been an idiot for trying to walk home.

As we walked back towards the house I could felt the weight of the silence and could almost _hear_ the cogs spinning in her brain. She was still upset with me, I could gather that much, but she also seemed very confused about something. Knowing that eased my own feelings a bit as I was confused myself.

I knew I owed her an apology on some level, but I didn't want to apologize. I didn't want to admit to having done something wrong because that would allow the question of 'why'. If I shouldn't have said those things, then _why_ did I say those things? Why did I have to speak ill of Matsuka? Why did I have to insult her tastes in men when her taste in men was absolutely none of my business? Why did I make a point to make sure she knew I disapproved? Why would I even care enough to disapprove?

See, those were all the questions that I didn't want to answer.

"Ah!" She stopped walking for a moment and I turned to see her staring up at the night sky. I looked up but didn't see anything interesting.

"What is it?"

"It's snowing." She said, a smile widening across her face. Sure enough, I felt something light and cold land on my face. I wiped away at the snowflake and went back to looking at her.

I was relieved.

As she smiled up at the sky with her eyes closed I found that the heaviness in the air had been lifted. She was smiling now. She was happy now. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. She opened her eyes and tilted her head towards me.

"Kyou-ah, Senpai." She caught herself before saying my name. She was beginning to feel more comfortable around me.

"What?" She turned her body to fully face me now and pointed at my face.

"You're smiling."

* * *

"You're smiling."

But of course the second I pointed that out, the smile disappeared and he turned around, motioning me to hurry up and follow him into the house.

As much of a jerk he was, I had never seen someone as handsome as Kyouya when he smiled.


	19. It wasn't a dream

"It's snowing pretty heavily. Though we could probably get you home with a helicopter that seems a bit excessive. I'll call your mother and explain the situation." He stated and I suddenly felt very nervous. Did this mean I was going to...sleep over Kyouya Ootori's house?!

_Oh no oh no. What if I snore?_

_Oh god, what if I have to take a monster shit? Where would I take it without him noticing?_

_Oh god, what am I going to do if I have to poop?_

The very thought of Kyouya being within 100 feet of my poop terrified me. Where were his bathrooms? Were they far away from his bedroom? What if they weren't? What if...what if….

_What if the smell wafts to him? What if he smells it?_

I would never live it down if Kyouya Ootori ever got a whiff of my bowel movements. I would have to hang myself if that happened. That would be the only honorable thing to do.

"You look horrified. I won't kill you in your sleep. Your mother and father didn't pick up either of their phones so I left a message."

"Ah..uh...they're probably out. They're usually both out or watching dramas on the couch." I said, snapping myself out of my nightmarish vision. When I looked at Kyouya, he was already back on the couch, pulling up what looked to be a different book than what he had been reading before (I was kinda proud of having noticed that). It was as if that entire debacle of me stomping out of his house had never happened. He was settled back in his spot and I was standing like a fool in the middle of his living room, wearing his coat which was several sizes too big on me and my face still red from the cold outside. For a moment, I wondered if the past ten minutes had even occurred.

I unbuttoned his coat off of me and walked to the door where the coat hanger was when I noticed a book that was open on the floor. After hanging the coat up I reached down and picked up the book which now had wrinkled pages, smoothing it out before looking at the cover.

_This sure looks like the book he was reading before._

And it totally was. This was definitely the book he was reading before. I recognized the black cover.

_Why was it on the floor?_

I glanced at Kyouya who was already immersed in another book, or at least pretending to be, and glanced back at the book in my hands. The only explanation I could think of-short of a poltergeist-was that Kyouya had thrown the book at the wall in anger.

_Did __**I**__ make him that angry?_

_That's not fair. I'm the one who's supposed to be angry._

But I was beginning to feel a warmth in my chest. Something I had done had elicited an emotional response from the cold Kyouya Ootori. And it wasn't just that I had annoyed him and he went to bed grumpy, no, he had thrown his book across the room and had run out into the cold night after me. He had grabbed an extra coat for me and had come after me himself, not sending one of his paid lackeys or minions...he had come after me himself, worried about me and my stupid decision to try and walk home in sub-zero temperatures at night.

I was an idiot. No matter how pissed off I had been about his comments on Matsuko, it was just stupid of me to have stomped off outside like that. I could have gotten one nasty cold, or hypothermia, or who knows...it was quite a long ways from his house to any sort of metro station. Of course he had to come get me. I probably would have been too stubborn to come back on my own.

I walked over to Kyouya and sat on the couch next to him, placing the book he had thrown onto his lap. He faltered for a moment, barely glancing at the book on his lap before returning to the one in his hands. I smiled at that. He knew. He was much too smart not to know. I let the warmth sink in as I sat there in silence next to the boy who was always so calm and collected on the outside. It was...it was really nice to know that he wasn't always in control of his own emotions. That comforted me.

"Why are you just sitting there smiling to yourself like a lunatic?" He asked without even looking up from his book. This time, his words didn't sting like they usually did. In fact, I didn't feel hurt in the least bit. Instead, I let out a small giggle, choking it back as I contained myself.

"What is it? Have you lost your mind? You weren't out in the cold that long." He said drily and I turned to him, wondering how to express how fond I was of him at that moment. I truly felt like I understood Kyouya Ootori just a little bit more. I felt like I finally knew a piece of him. How was I supposed to express that?

I followed the only example I had to go by. I put my hand on Kyouya's head.

He looked at me with an expressionless face and I could almost hear his thoughts asking 'What the hell are you doing?'. I guess it was weird to put my hand on his head like Mori had done to me, but I didn't know how else to express myself. I gently patted him twice before retracting my hand. He still had that look on his face, the one that said 'Why the hell are you touching me?'

"I just…" How was I supposed to put into words how I felt? Kyouya arched a brow. I reached up and he merely stared at my hand as I put it on his head again. It definitely wasn't like the way Mori patted my head. His pats were more gentle, more like a caress. I was more or less patting Kyouya's head like I would a dog. Goddammit, I couldn't do anything right.

"I appreciate you Kyouya… Er, Senpai." I caught myself saying his name again. Kyouya blinked at me before returning to his book.

"Then stop petting me like a dog and get me a cup of tea."

I sighed but my smile didn't falter. I was probably just making him feel awkward which was understandable since I was just patting his head without saying anything. I moved to get up when straightened out his arm, blocking me from actually getting up. In his hand was the book which he wielded like some sort of weapon, smacking me lightly in the stomach.

"Wait. Actually no."

_Uuuh.._

"I'm hungry. Make me toast and eggs." He stated and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, your majesty." I mumbled, pushing his arm out of the way as I got up.

"What was that?" He asked, but I was pretty sure he had heard me just fine. I turned around and waved my hand at him.

"Nothing nothing senpai. Toast and eggs right away."

"I want them over easy."

_Yeah, well you're going to get scrambled, because that's about all I can achieve._

What a weird guy Kyouya Ootori was.

* * *

"Ah...hai..I'll ask." Haruhi hung up her cell phone and looked over at Tamaki, putting a finger to her lips in thought.

"That was Momoku's mom. She says that Momoku hasn't come home yet and wondered if she was snowed in with us at your house Tamaki-senpai." I sat up a little straighter, it was about 10:00PM, way past the time Momoku should have gone home after her tutoring with Kyouya.

_**Riiiiiiiiiing riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing**_.

Haruhi picked up her cell phone.

"Hai. Moshi-moshi." She answered, nodding her head and listening to the voice on the other line. "Aaah hai. That's good. Okay then." She clicked her cell shut and gave the others a smile, waving her hands to dismiss any gravity that she may have incited during the moment.

"That was Momoku's mom again. She says that she just listened to her voicemail, Momoku was snowed in at Kyouya-senpai's house, so she's fine."

"Eeeeeeeeeeeh?" Hikaru called out in surprise, going over to Haruhi and putting his arm around her. He rubbed his chin as he looked at his brother.

"That unappealing commoner is sleeping over at Kyouya's house? How interesting." He said and Haruhi lightly smacked the back of his head.

"Hikaru, don't talk about Momoku like that." She said sternly and he rubbed the back of his head, narrowing his eyes at her before joining his brother back onto the couch, folding his arms and huffing at her.

"Hmph! I don't see why you'd stand up for her. It's not like she likes you anyway." He said spitefully and Haruhi sighed, glancing at me for backup. I didn't really have any backup to give. I was inclined to agree with Hikaru.

"She's my friend Hikaru. Stop talking badly about her."

"Oh is she now? Eh Kaoru?" He jumped back over to Haruhi with Kaoru in tow who also put an arm over Haruhi. Kaoru looked to Hikaru and nodded sagely.

"I mean, has she even spoken to you since she's come to Ouran?" Kaoru.

"Eh? Well not really, but she's been busy-"

"Has she even eaten lunch with you?" Hikaru.

"Not yet-"

"But she's always eating lunch with Kasanoda, or by herself. Why's that?" Kaoru.

"She just-"

"Haruhi Haruhi Haruhi...it's time to face the music." Hikaru shook his head, tutting at her naivete as he tried to draw her to the correct conclusion. I looked over to Tamaki who wasn't actually paying attention to Haruhi for once. He was staring out his bay story-tall window, watching the snow pile up outside. Gently, I placed the sleeping Mitsukuni onto the couch, fixing the blanket on top of him before walking over to Tamaki. He glanced up before I had reached him.

"Ah! Mori-senpai! What's up?" He asked, the thoughtful look having disappeared off of his face.

"You're worried." I could tell from his withdrawn posture and the faraway look in his eyes. It wouldn't be long until Haruhi noticed. She was usually more in tune with Tamaki's emotions than anyone else, but she was currently being bombarded by the twins. Tamaki smiled and looked back out the window.

"I'm not worried about Kyouya really. Whatever happens, he'll be able to manage, but I am worried about Momoku. Whether she knows it or not, Kyouya has a vested interest in her. I don't even think Kyouya's realized that yet either though." I froze for a moment, the realization hitting me that other people were beginning to notice Kyouya's feelings as well. Were they that...that substantial that somebody else had noticed?

"Mori-senpai?" I snapped out of it.

"Ah." I answered instinctively and Tamaki sighed again tracing patterns in the window condensation with his finger.

"I don't know if Kyouya is ready for his feelings for Momoku. Who knows if Momoku even has feelings for him, but if she does, I feel like she's going to get hurt. Not that Kyouya is a bad person, Kyouya is a very good person, one of the best people I know. I just...I don't think he's ready."

"What are you going to do?" I asked, a faint pulse in my chest hoping that Tamaki would have some solution. Instead, Tamaki smiled.

"Nothing. There's nothing I can do. Kyouya hasn't even admitted his feelings to himself, nevermind me. And no matter what I say, I can't change someone's feeling for another. I wouldn't want to change his feelings. I'm glad that he...I'm glad that he's found someone to care about in that way."

"Ah."

But he would most assuredly hurt Momoku. She was an impressionable young girl who had never received attention before, nevermind attention from a handsome billionaire who owned a good percentage of Japan's economy. I didn't think Momoku was a golddigger in any way, shape, or form-but she was human. She was a girl and Kyouya was a good looking boy. Kyouya was a boy who couldn't come to terms with his own feelings for her due to his own issues. His pride, his expected standards, his arrogance. Momoku was not a girl who would fit his mold for an acceptable girlfriend. She wasn't particularly bright, nor did she come from a well-established family. On any given day she probably had less than $5 to her name for some arcade money and her school books.

To Kyouya, she wasn't exactly anything exceptional, but in one way.

She had somehow managed to grab his attention.

Regardless of all that she was lacking in his eyes, Kyouya had feelings for her.

And I would guess that _that_ would be the sole exceptional thing about her to him.

He wasn't ready for her.

I wasn't ready for her.

Ever so slowly...I walked back to the couch that Mitsukuni slept on, sitting on the edge and staring mindlessly at the wall opposite of me. It seemed like it had all moved so quickly. It was only three months into school but I had known Momoku since the beginning of June. I had known her for a total of 6 months. Somewhere, at some point, during that time I had felt a connection with her. It was a feeling similar to what I had for Mitsukuni, this protectiveness and a sense of duty towards her for the trouble the Host Club had caused her...but there was this weird other feeling. I knew on some level that I liked her in a different level than the way I liked Mitsukuni, but that wasn't the feeling I was struggling with at this moment. This feeling was different...it was foreign.

Instead of silently judging Kyouya and his inability to assess his feelings, I had to address the fact that I was unable to recognize my own.

_What are your feelings?_

* * *

I was editing one of the budgets for the east branch when I heard shuffling feet coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. The steps were awkwardly timed and soft, as if someone were doing a real shit job at pretending to be a ninja.

_She doesn't even know how to sneak around properly._

I sighed and closed my laptop, rubbing the inner corners of my eyes as I felt the lateness of the night starting to catch up with my body. After readjusting my glasses I surveyed my office. There were no decorations on the walls and no framed pictures on my desk. There was no need for that sort of sentimentality, it's not like I needed to show off to anybody in this office. Nobody ever came to this office. I peered out into the darkness of the hallway, hearing the shuffling now coming from the living room. I glanced at my watch.

3:25AM.

What the hell was that idiot doing up at this hour? I was at least doing work.

I quietly walked down the stairs, seeing her sitting on the living room couch with something in her hand. I flicked on the light switch, startling her and causing her to squeeze her eyes shut from the sudden brightness. Whoops.

"What are you doing up?" I asked and got a clear look at what she was holding in her hand. She was holding a donut. She had gotten up at 3:25AM in the morning to eat a donut. Making my way to the couch I sat next to her and she drew her knees to her chest, giving me a sheepish smile.

"I couldn't sleep...so I um...got a donut."

_I see that._

"What's keeping you up?"

"I dunno. Why are you up?" She avoided my question with a question of her own. I fixed my glasses that seemed to continuously slide down my face.

"Unlike you, I was doing work. Give me a piece." Without waiting for her to offer it to me, I broke off a piece of the cider donut she had been so happily munching on and ate it, slowly chewing it as I wondered if I had remembered to eat dinner last night.

"Please...help yourself." She said sarcastically and I wondered if she understood the hypocrisy of her sarcasm. The donut she was eating was _my_ donut. She was sitting on _my_ couch in _my _house. The house from which she had taken the donut from.

"Why can't you sleep?" I asked again and she leaned her head on her knees, hugging her knees as she finished chewing the rest of the donut.

"Mori-senpai asked me the other day how I was." She paused and I waited. That stupid thing couldn't be what kept her up. "And I had told him I was fine, but then he asked me two more times as if he wanted some different sort of answer. It made me really angry."

She started to chew one of her nails. A disgusting habit. Without thinking, I reached over and smacked her hand out of her mouth.

"There are millions of germs under your nails. Don't do that." She merely rolled her eyes and me and settled for hugging her knees again.

"And he told me he kept asking me because I wasn't being honest. At the time, I really thought I was being honest." I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes. I wasn't falling asleep, I was actually listening to her. She continued talking.

"I guess I wasn't being honest. Because I haven't been able to sleep thinking about it. I guess I'm not fine."

I opened my eyes slightly at this, staring at the empty across from where we sat. Well, it wasn't really empty. There was a 70 LED TV screen there.

"What makes you think you're not fine?" I asked, looking at our reflections in the TV screen. I didn't realize we had been sitting so close to each other.

"I think I'm lonely. Migi hasn't returned any of my phone calls. I don't think she likes me anymore and I don't know why. None of my other friends from my old school has asked to hang out either. And besides Kasanoda, I don't really have friends at school."

I was about to snidely say something about the Host Club being there for her, but I quickly caught myself, understanding that it wasn't appropriate or correct. She didn't have much of a relationship with the Host Club. The only people she ever interacted with were me and Takashi, and I spent all of my time either tutoring her or telling her what she needed to improve. I wasn't exactly a friend to her.

"Why don't you make friends?" In retrospect, that was a stupid question.

"It's not easy to make friends. You have to like people to actually be friends with them. Ouran is...the students there are a lot different than the students in other schools. The kids here are like...extra mean. Rich people are scary." She finished and I almost chuckled, knowing the truth of her statement. Ouran High School most certainly did breed a different race of students than the average high schoolers. That's what money did. Money changed a lot of things about people and high school students most certainly weren't immune to its influence.

"They're business people at Ouran. That's what they've been bred to be." I explained and she sighed, flicking off a piece of fuzz from the slippers she was borrowing from me.

"It's not even that. The thing that's really different about the students at Ouran, including Haruhi, is that they all have a dream. They're completely certain that they know what they want for their future. Some of them want to be doctors or lawyers. A good amount of them want to take over their family's business. Then there are the girls whose sole purpose in Ouran is to scope out a good husband, get married, and live comfortably." None of those options were part of her plans for the future? Any sensible young person should have at least an inkling of what they were aiming for. High school years are a critical time for preparation. During high school you prepared for what college you wanted to attend and depending on what college or university you attended, that decided your future.

"And what is your dream, Momoku?"

She leaned her chin on her knees and stared at the opposing wall, her eyes looking vacant and faraway.

"I don't know. And I don't think it's fair that people think I should know. I'm 15 years old and I don't even know what I'm going to eat for lunch tomorrow...how am I supposed to know what I want to do with the rest of my life? I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't even want to go to a university but I know I'll have to because that's what everybody else does. It's not fair that everybody else knows what their future is. How come I don't know?"

_Not even a university?_

Despite my initial surprise at her answer, I took her words in and they silenced me. Objectively, she was very right. The age of 15 was an unreasonable stage of a teenager's life. It was unreasonable to expect them to know what their future should be…

_But that's just how it is._

You enter college at the age of 18 and you're expected to know exactly what you want to study and what you're going to pursue for a career.

"They don't know." I answered, mulling the explanation over in my head and trying to put it into words. Momoku turned to me with wide eyes.

"Huh? What do you mean they don't know?"

"They think they know. What...what they want for their lives is what their parents have told them they wanted. Sure there are a few exceptions like Haruhi who just happen to know what she wants in life, but the majority of the people you're talking about...they just _think_ they know what they want because it's what their parents have spoonfed them since birth."

"But they seem so sure…"

"The girls are told 'find a good man, find a rich man' the day they learn to speak. They're told that to live a happy life, they need to find a rich husband because money equates to happiness. The boys who want to take over their parents' businesses...guess who is telling them that it's what they want? That's why those people have children in the first place, so that they have a legacy to leave. It's not that they know what they want, it's just that they haven't been given the option to even think otherwise."

She was silent for a minute, her eyes lowering and being refocused onto her slippered feet. With her finger, she traced an invisible pattern on her right foot over and over again. I looked to the windows and saw that the snow had accumulated to over 2 feet. That was mildly worrisome.

"Is that why you worked so hard to take over your father's business senpai? Because that's what your father wanted?"

"No. I did it because he didn't think I could."

"That sounds like a very...lonely reason, senpai."

I didn't have a response to that.

_It's not a very lonely reason. I obviously have a lot of other reasons._

Like the fact that a man of my caliber _should_ be running a dominating corporation like the Ootori Corporation. I was a proud and ambitious man so of course I naturally wanted to run this company. I was in a position of power and money and I had earned it all. I did it. I worked for it. I worked for it because I could. I earned it because I was competent. I didn't just do it to prove something to my father.

But as those thoughts raced through my head, I didn't know how to vocalize them...because it all sounded like excuses and cheap justifications.

"What I am doing, is what I want for myself." I stated simply the truth. It's what I wanted. She nodded and flicked another piece of fuzz off of her slipper. The pajamas she currently wore were actually mine. They consisted of an oversized silk shirt and pants. The pants had the drawstring tightened all the way to be able to stay on her hips and their oversized nature resulted in the excess being bunched up around her ankles. She looked pretty ridiculous now that I took a good look at her.

"My mom says I should find a boyfriend at Ouran before I graduate. She says that it's a good place to find my future husband." She said dejectedly and I chuckled.

"She wouldn't be wrong. Ouran is full of boys with very wealthy backgrounds. Chances are, the best suitor will be found at Ouran."

"What if I don't want to get married? Why does that have to be my goal? Why can't I have different goals?"

"No one's making you get married-"

"But everyone's expecting it. What's the point of going to college if I'm just going to work for a couple of years and then stay home to be a housewife and spawn a couple of kids? What if I don't want that? What if I don't want any of that? Why does that have to be my end goal? Just because all the other girls do it?"

"You're overthinking it. You're just 15, you don't know what the future holds for you yet." I reasoned, wondering where her sudden panic about being a housewife came from. If anything, being a housewife was a pretty good deal. You didn't have to work. You could send your kids off to school then do whatever you wanted until dinner time came around. Maybe you'd vacuum a little here and there, cook some food, prepare a few lunches..

"I feel like it holds nothing. I feel like my future doesn't hold jack shit."

"You're being overdramatic." I said and she snorted, turning to me and giving me a glare. She narrowed her eyes at me and lightly kicked my knee. I wasn't sure how to interpret this.

"You just don't understand. You don't understand what it's like not having anything solid to look forward to day in and day out."

The lights began to flicker.

We both looked up and I guessed that the snow had knocked a few trees on to a couple power lines. Soon enough we would-

"Ah! The power went out." She said in surprise and I closed my eyes, leaning back onto the couch as I wondered why the hell we were having a conversation in the middle of my living room at 4 in the morning.

"The backup generator will kick on in about five minutes when the switch realizes that there is no more power coming through." I said and she did a faint "aah" in understanding.

Usually I was comforted by complete darkness and silence, the only sound coming from the wind blowing about outside, but this time something was off.

I was uncomfortable.

With no noise to diffuse the silence and no light to provide a distraction, I started to become hyper aware of my surroundings. I could hear the sound of Momoku's breathing on top of my own, her breaths being very soft and steady. I started to feel the rhythm of my pulse, the pumping of blood passing through my veins like a mechanical feat of engineering.

She shuffled.

I assumed she didn't mean to, but when she moved she had inched closer to me on the couch, the dipping of the cushion underneath our weight pulling us towards the center ever so slightly. In my head I imagined that she was only about a couple inches away from me.

Only 30 seconds had passed from what I could count, but it felt like ten minutes.

She smelled faintly of the lavender soap that was put out for the guest bathroom. She had probably taken a shower before going to bed. I hadn't noticed her wet hair but now that I was thinking about it, she had pulled it back into a braid.

I could smell the fruity conditioner she had used as well, the light smell wafting over.

Her breathing was still steady.

Mine was not.

I wondered if she noticed. Probably not. She wasn't exactly the most perceptive crayon in the box.

_Why is my breathing uneven?_

But as I noticed it, my pulse was also quickening. Something about the darkness and being next to _her_ was making me uncomfortable.

I coughed, taking a moment to loosen the necktie that I still had on.

"Are you alright senpai?" I felt her hand reach out into the darkness and tentatively touch my shoulder. Reactively I grabbed her hand, not realizing that I was squeezing it.

"I'm fine. Don't touch me."

"I-I'm sorry."

I didn't mean to snap at her, but her touch wasn't helping anything.

"Ano...senpai…"

"What?"

"You're still holding my hand…"

And it clicked.

It was _her_.

_She_ was the one making me uncomfortable.

I had snapped at her because her touch had confirmed it. As I held her hand in the dark I realized that she was making me nervous and warm. It started to feel hot because of her. My breath was uneven and my pulse was quickening because of _her_.

She tugged her hand back but I didn't let go.

"Uh senpai-"

And without a thought I had leaned over to her in the darkness and pressed my lips against hers.

* * *

The sudden soft warmth on my lips had made me freeze and it took a couple of seconds to register what was happening in my brain.

_I'm being kissed._

I didn't know how to kiss, I didn't know what to do.

_What's happening?_

My brain had gone on vacation and I felt my eyes close when his hand cupped my cheek, deepening the kiss and parting my lips.

And just like that, it was over.

The warmth was gone, the flesh was gone, the touch was gone. I heard the faint sound of muffled footsteps going up the stairs and all that I felt now was the cold air blowing on my moist lips.

The lights flickered back on.

When I looked around, there was nobody in the room but me.

* * *

"Miss Murayama."

_Was it all a dream?_

"Miss Murayama."

_I think it was all a dream._

"_Miss Murayama._"

When I had woken up that morning I was back in the guest bedroom with the sunlight shining into my eyes. Last night's events were hazy as I tried to piece together what had been a dream and what hadn't.

_I really think I was dreaming._

"MISS MURAYAMA!"

"Hai!" I shouted and jumped up from my chair, my seat tumbling over and realizing that the entire class was staring at me. Himuro sensei looked relatively pissed off at me as he crossed his arms and pointed to the board with his yard stick.

"Now that I finally have your attention, please come up and define the tangent."

"Ah...uh..hai..sorry." I shuffled up to the front of the classroom, glad that my back was to the students because my face was turning a lovely shade of red. How long had I been daydreaming? How many times did sensei call my name before I answered like a total spazoid? I quickly scribbled on the board, quickly remembering the derivatives that my tutors had drilled into my brain. Soon enough I had the tangent and put the chalk down, lowering my head and avoiding all eye contact until I got back to my seat.

I avoided looking at Kasanoda even though his gaze was probably boring a hole into the side of my head. He knew something was up.

_Was I dreaming?_

It had happened all so quickly. The lights went off and I felt his lips. His kiss was surprisingly gentle for a boy who was so damn terrifying. He had deepened the kiss after a few seconds and I had felt my head spinning...but then when my head stopped spinning and the lights turned back on, there was nobody there. I barely remembered bringing myself to bed so the next thing I knew I was waking up in the guest bedroom with a dimly flickering memory of last night.

If it hadn't been a dream, then what did it mean?

In the morning a butler had woken me up and let me know that Kyouya had an early morning meeting before school so he had left before me. My uniform had been freshly dry cleaned and there was breakfast waiting downstairs. His driver brought me to school and I had been in a daze ever since.

If it hadn't been a dream, then why did he kiss me?

Kyouya Ootori had never once shown an interest in me like that. If anything he had always been extra mean to me. Sure he gave me tutoring and…

_He did go out of his way to help me._

But did he really like me? He never said anything. He didn't even stick around after the kiss.

_Maybe I was such a horrible kisser that he decided it was a mistake._

I didn't understand it in the least bit. If Kyouya did like me like that, then why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he stay? Why didn't he just say 'hey, I like you'? It wasn't that fucking hard.

But if he didn't, then why did he kiss me? Was he just taking advantage of me?

_Kyouya's not like that._

Kyouya had his pick from all the girls at Ouran. There were hundreds of girls willing to line up for a chance with the inheritor of the Ootori Corporation. If he wanted a warm body, he could have had any of those in a heartbeat.

_I don't get it._

I was growing more and more frustrated the more I thought about it. I grabbed my schoolbag to pull out my notebook, but when I pulled it out, the cover was unfamiliar. As I opened the notebook I saw impeccable handwriting and much more advanced math than I had ever encountered.

_No...don't tell me._

I had accidentally grabbed Kyouya's schoolbag instead of my own.

_Baka._

_Maybe it was all just a dream._

* * *

I was restless.

I paced around the music room with Mitsukuni on my shoulders, being a mule for him. He was having a blast, waving his arms in the air as I walked around. It was a convenient coincidence that he wanted a shoulder ride, because I don't think I would have been able to stop myself from pacing around the room.

"Mori-senpai sure is patient with Honey-senpai isn't he?" Haruhi commented to Tamaki and he nodded sagely. I ignored the comment, continuing to pace the room with Usa-chan's floppy ears occasionally whacking my face.

"Where's Kyouya-senpai?" Haruhi asked the question that I had been thinking. Tamaki answered.

"He said that he had an out of town meeting today, but that he'd be back in time for the Host Club. So he should be here any minute."

It couldn't be coincidence that the rare occasion Kyouya missed school was the day after Momoku had spent the night at his place. Something must have happened.

"Good thing he's going to be present for the Host Club today. We always get the highest attendance when we have a police theme." Kaoru said happily, admiring himself in the mirror in his police uniform. I was wearing one as well, the uniform probably making me look even more intimidating than usual-something that I had become self-conscious about ever since Kasanoda had pointed out that I was a scary human being.

"Takashi! Look how cute Haru-chan is as a police officer!" Mitsukuni exclaimed and I nodded in agreement without looking at her.

"Ah."

"Put me down. I want to go play with Haru-chan!" I obliged, lifting him off my shoulders and placing him onto the ground. I was still restless, but I took a seat at the table Haruhi sat at. She was currently having her arm tugged by Mitsukuni as he bombarded her with questions about what was for dessert today. I stared out the window where it was starting to snow lightly again.

"Ah! Kyouya's here! And he's already dressed! Kyoooooooooouya-kun!" Shouted Tamaki as he ran over to his friend, hugging his arm and dragging him to where Haruhi and I sat. Kyouya's face was unreadable as he sat down, pushing up his glasses and placing his tablet onto the table, the screen displaying a mix of incomprehensible numbers and letters. It was probably something that was understandable to only him. I watched him but nothing about him was different than before. As Haruhi poured him a cup of tea he drank quietly, fending off Tamaki's invasive questions about his night. Though he could easily fend off Tamaki, Haruhi had questions of her own.

"Senpai, did Momoku have a comfortable stay at your house?" She asked and Mitsukuni's ears perked up, his eyes widening as he glanced from Kyouya to me. He hadn't been aware of Momoku's sleepover as he had been fast asleep when the news had broken out.

"Momo-chan stayed over your house Kyou-chan?"

"Yes. She was over for tutoring lessons and it had snowed too much for her to go home safely, so she stayed over."

"Aaah. So lucky Kyou-chan! You had Momo-chan's baking skills all to your own for the night." Mitsukuni said it lightheartedly enough, but as he shot me a glance I knew that he was starting to sense my unease.

"Hmm...I bet he did make her bake all night. Probably used her as slave labor to wash his floors too." Hikaru whispered not-at-all-quietly to Kaoru. Kyouya chose to ignore that statement. Haruhi smiled.

"What did you guys do?" She asked innocently enough, but it was the question that I wanted to know the answer to. But even if something _did_ happen, I knew Kyouya would lie about it.

"I went to my office to prepare for the meeting I had today. She probably watched television, I didn't supervise her." He said and I realized just how impressive Kyouya was. He had absolutely no ticks, nothing that gave him away, no signs for what he was feeling. I had no idea on how to read him, but as I glanced to Tamaki, I could sense that he knew something. He wasn't smiling.

"I'm glad she was safe from last night's snowstorm senpai." Haruhi said sincerely, refilling his teacup before getting up to go refill the teapot. Naturally, the twins followed after her, asking her why she didn't wear a sexy lady cop's uniform instead.

"Kyouya-" Tamaki started, but a knocking on the door interrupted him. He looked perplexed, furrowing his brows as he glanced at the clock.

"Hm, the club doesn't open for another 20 minutes."

"I'll get it! Come on Takashi!" Mitsukuni grabbed my hand pulled me towards the door, grabbing the handles and opening it to the very person I had been worrying about.

* * *

x

o

"Momo-chan!" I didn't have a chance to brace myself before I felt a pair of arms wrap around my neck and hug me, knocking the wind out of me momentarily. I looked up to see Honey's counterpart Mori, standing over me with a mildly surprised look on his face. Honey let go of me and backed up a step, his eyes glistening with excitement.

"Hi Honey-senpai.." I now felt embarrassed to be here. I had forgotten that the Host Club actually consisted of other people…

"Whacha doing here Momo-chan? Have you come for the Host Club's services finally?" He asked excitedly and I laughed, shaking my head.

"Ah no no...I actually came to see Kyouya-senpai. Is he here?" I asked, trying to stop my face from heating up at the very mention of his name. Honey nodded and grabbed my hand, pulling me into the room to drag me towards him.

"Kyou-chan! Momo-chan is here to see you!" He announced at what seemed to be the top of his lungs. When I glanced behind me I found Mori staring at me with an unfamiliar expression. I looked back to Kyouya who didn't even seem to care to glance up at me.

I felt awkward all of a sudden and bowed my head as if it were my first time formally meeting him.

"Hi senpai...I uh...grabbed your schoolbag by accident today. So uh..here." I placed his bag next to him and he leaned over and picked up a bag from the other side which had a very familiar charm hanging off of it. It was my bag! He looked up at me and handed me my bag, taking another sip from his cup of tea.

"I noticed that when I stopped by the house this afternoon. Here."

"Hai...thank you." I lingered for a moment, looking at the boy who had gone back to his mysterious budget charts on his tablet.

_Maybe it really was a dream._

He wasn't acting any different from normal. In fact, he was acting as if everything was normal and nothing of note had happened last night. He looked up at me with an arched brow.

"Do you need anything else?" He asked and for some reason, the empty tone he used hurt me very much.

_It was a dream wasn't it? It was all a dream._

"Ah..um. My mother needs my help around the house today so I won't be able to come to tutoring today." I lied. Kyouya nodded.

"Okay." That was all he said. Nothing else. I felt even more hurt.

"Okay..um..bye."

God, that was so awkward.

But what was even more awkward was that _I_ was the only one who was feeling awkward. I turned around and had to force myself to walk out of the Host Club room rather than sprint. Honey latched onto my arm again, looking up at me with a big smile.

"Are you suuuure you can't stay for the Host Club Momo-chan?" He pleaded so nicely but I shook my head, forcing a smile as I tried to subdue the frustration I was feeling.

"I can't, sorry Honey-senpai. Maybe next time." I said, slowly taking steps to the door. I was almost out of the club room, but Honey was relentless.

"But you _always_ say next time and you never come! I want to play with you again Momo-chan!" I was starting to feel helpless as I just wanted to leave. I just wanted to go.

"Mitsukuni, she has to go now." Mori's deep voice came and he picked up Honey like a child, allowing me to be free from Honey's surprisingly strong grip. I smiled at Mori, hoping my eyes weren't already welling up with tears.

"Bye Honey-senpai, bye Mori-senpai." I waved them goodbye and gave one last glance towards Kyouya, but the only one who was looking back at me was Tamaki. An unexpectedly serious looking Tamaki. As the doors shut after me I sprinted to go hide in one of the girls' bathroom stalls. I didn't even make it all the way into the bathroom before my eyes became blurry with tears. I slammed the stall door shut and locked it, burying my face into my hands as I realized how much of an idiot I was.

I couldn't even remember if it had all been a dream or not, but the cold indifference that Kyouya treated me with hurt all the same.

_Baka. Baka baka. You thought he liked you?_

I did. I did think he liked me. Normal society says that when a guy kisses you, it means he likes you, but I should have known better. I should have known Kyouya Ootori didn't go by normal society rules and expectations.

_Why would you even think you had a chance of him liking you?_

I had nothing to offer him. I wasn't super sexy or super hot. I wasn't super smart or super rich. Why did I ever, even for one second, think that he liked me?

All evidence strongly suggested that the events of last night had indeed, all been a dream.

* * *

"Haruhi, are all the tea trays set up?"

"Hai senpai."

I buttoned up my police officer's uniform, wondering how I had ended up joining a club with such ridiculous costumes and getups. Tamaki had been unnaturally quiet, staring at me without even bothering to hide it. He had something to say. I was hoping to avoid confrontation. My friend knew me too well.

"Kyouya."

"What is it Tamaki?"

"You know what."

"I don't have time for guessing games. We're about to open our doors in three minutes." I stood up to move but he quickly grabbed my arm and turned me, forcing me to look at him. His violet eyes which were normally full of happiness and oblivious of the rest of the world were eerily focused on mine. His usually jovial demeanor was gone and I knew that he wasn't going to let it go. He knew me too well to let it go.

"What happened last night Kyouya?"

"Nothing. I wouldn't take advantage of a girl over my house." He wasn't falling for my bullshit response.

"_Something_ happened. And you just hurt her Kyouya. You didn't look at her so you didn't even see how much you hurt her. You can't do that to people Kyouya even if it's not what you meant to do, you did it." He was speaking truthfully but I was trying to resist it. I didn't want to know that I had hurt her. I didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

"Are you concerned because she's Haruhi's friend?" I asked but Tamaki tightened his grip on my arm.

"I'm concerned because I'm _your_ friend. This is the first time I've seen you show interest in a girl and you're hurting her before anything's even begun. If you actually care for her, you can't treat her like this."

I sighed and gave him a wry smile in defeat. I put my hand over his and gently pried his fingers off of me. Looking up to meet his gaze I answered him earnestly.

"You're right Tamaki. I'll visit her after the Host Club ends today okay?" And I wasn't lying, I would visit her. As much as I didn't want to, I would do it. He smiled at me and then lunged at me, wrapping his arms around my neck as he returned to his normally goofy self.

"Oh Kyouya-kun! Mi amore!"

"Get off of me Tamaki."

* * *

_I've been in much worse situations with much more at stake._

But as I stood in front of her family's condo door, I was nervous. I was unreasonably nervous and unsure of myself. How would I explain things? How would I explain myself? I'm sorry I kissed you in the dark and then left? I'm sorry I kissed you and then pretended like it didn't happen the next day?

As it was nearing the last week of November, the evening light settled in much sooner and the lighting was already getting dim. In another hour or so it would probably look like nighttime. I tightened my coat around me and looked around. I had taken a cab, not really feeling like having my driver witness such a particularly private moment in my life. Outside was pretty empty, everyone having decided to stay indoors during the cold November hours.

Eventually I picked up my hand and lightly knocked on the door. Maybe Momoku and her mother were out on an errand.

I heard footsteps though and I knew that the possibility had already gone out the window. I heard the audible click of the door latch unlocking and resisted the urge to turn around and walk away as the door opened.

_Of course._

The one who opened the door just had to be her.

When she looked up and saw me I noted the red and puffy eyes. She looked significantly shocked and let out a gasp before slamming the door shut on my face.

This was going well.

Slowly she opened the door back up and stepped outside, closing it behind her as she looked at her feet.

"Sorry..I...I wasn't expecting you…" She mumbled and I cleared my throat, trying to find my words as she stood in front of me, her head staring at her feet. From my vantage point, all I could see was the top of her head.

"I know, you had errands to do with your mother." She glanced up at this and gave me an embarrassed laugh, scratching the back of her head as she looked to the side.

"I um...lied about that. My parents are at work..."

"Why?" I don't know why I asked that. I knew exactly why. She gave me an embarrassed smile.

"I had uh..I had a bad dream last night." She said, her voice sounding a little unsure of itself and the words that were coming out. I was intrigued by this though. A bad dream? Had I been demoted to a nightmare?

"What kind of dream?" I asked, waiting to confirm my theory.

"I had this dream that you...that we uh..it was just a bad dream." She said and now I was convinced that she _truly_ thought it had just been a bad dream. Me. Kyouya Ootori. She was saying that my kiss had been so un-phenomenal that she didn't even remember it actually happening. This girl was the first girl I had chosen to kiss on the lips and she had written me off as a bad dream?

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

I slammed my hand on the door behind her and leaned over her, earning a shocked and somewhat terrified look from her as she backed up against the door, her eyes wide and full of fear, her lips parted ever so slightly to let out the steam of her warm breath.

"S-senpai.."

"It wasn't a dream."

"W-what? Then why didn't you-"

Her lips tasted faintly of her cherry chapstick and they were just as soft as they were before. This time I couldn't hide in the darkness or count on it as an escape, but I wasn't really thinking clearly. She didn't move at first, but ever so slowly I felt her body relax as she began to kiss me back, her left hand hesitantly reaching up to touch my chest. I took that as an invitation and grabbed her waist, pulling her closer to me as my other hand cradled her back. Her small yelp of surprise made me grin, taking her lips against mine as I deepened the kiss.

I didn't have an explanation as to why I had pretended that last night hadn't happened. I didn't have an explanation as to why I felt the need to treat her so coldly. I didn't have an explanation as to why I kissed her the first time, or now, the second time. It was simply what I wanted.

My heart was racing as I held her body to mine, our lips separating with a gasp desperate for air. I leaned my forehead against hers, my eyes shut tight as my brain tried to catch up to the pulsing blood of my body.

I liked the way she didn't mess with my head. I liked the way she wasn't after something from me. I liked the way she didn't care for prestigious titles or wealth. I liked the way she didn't think she was the queen of the world. I liked the way she didn't feel entitled to everything just because someone gave birth to her. I liked the way she smiled when she meant it. I liked the way she tried hard at school when pushed. I liked the way she was honest and sincere. I liked the way she laughed. I even liked the way she cried. I liked the way her lips felt against mine.

I liked the way she was just as confused about all this as I was.

"Senpai…"

I gently caressed her face with my hands, keeping my eyes shut as I tried to weigh the magnitude of my decisions.

"I don't understand you senpai…"

I opened my eyes and straightened up, looking at he puffy eyes that held a pressuring innocence. She didn't know what was happening, but she expected me to know. She trusted me to know what was happening. I didn't know what was happening. I didn't even want to consider the lines of boyfriend and girlfriend or dating. What would that all entail? Would I be able to give her that commitment?

All these thoughts and I hadn't even asked if she returned the feelings I had for her. I hadn't even voiced the feelings I had for her.

"I will..I will be better to you. I am sorry for hurting you."

It was a start.

* * *

"I hope Momo-chan likes the cupcakes I picked out for her! These should cheer her up!"

"Ah."

"Oh look! There she is! And there's Kyou-chan too! HEY-" I covered Mitsukuni's mouth with my hand and pulled him back, watching the scene unfold in front of me. Slowly, I lifted my hand off of Mitsukuni's mouth as he realized the intimacy of this moment. I watched as Kyouya slammed his hand against the door behind her in anger-not something he did often, if ever. I watched as words were exchanged and then-

"Oh my.." Mitsukuni gasped next to me as Kyouya leaned in and kissed her.

_What is this feeling?_

I felt constricted and everything suddenly felt too tight. I watched as he pulled her in towards him with his arms around her waist to deepen the kiss. I watched as she eventually relaxed into his arms and returned the kiss. I turned around, staring wide eyed at nothing as I tried to reel in the emotions that were flashing through me. I felt Mitsukuni gently take my hand.

"Takashi…"

_What is this?_

"Takashi...are you okay?"

I didn't ever think about how I would react or how I would feel if Kyouya actually made the move to be with Momoku. I knew of his feelings for her, but I hadn't anticipated witnessing it. I hadn't even invested much time or feeling into Momoku past a particular fondness-or at least, that's what I had thought, but the unexpected hurt told me otherwise. The hurt told me that I had sincerely liked Momoku but hadn't thought to pursue it. Perhaps I had thought she would just wait around. Perhaps I hadn't considered that she'd date someone else. Perhaps I didn't realize how unpleasant it would feel to see someone else kiss her.

"Let's go home Mitsukuni."

"Takashi…" He didn't push it as he walked beside me, the silence settling in between us as I replayed the scene over and over in my head.

Did I really like Momoku romantically?

Or did I just feel protective of her as I did with Haruhi and Mitsukuni?

_No_.

I didn't feel this way when Haruhi began dating Tamaki. I felt nothing but happiness when that started.

This, this wasn't a good feeling. I didn't feel good about this at all.


	20. Say it to me

I don't know when she started, but apparently my parents worked on the weekends too. My mother would leave at around noon and my father left closer to 3. I had no clue where they went because the shops weren't open. I guess they worked errands.

Why do they eat cauliflower? Cauliflower is disgusting.

I saw that cauliflower was on the grocery list, but I was going to choose to 'forget' that particular item. If there was one thing that tasted like the devil's anus, it was cauliflower. I looked down to what was next on the grocery list.

Broccoli.

My parents were trying to kill me, I was convinced of this. Perhaps broccoli was the lesser of the evils though. I don't think my mother would believe that I 'accidentally' forgot both the broccoli and the cauliflower. I picked the smallest head of broccoli I could find, wondering if it would taste any better if I drowned it in cheese. As I plopped it into my basket I wondered if I could sneak in an extra package of cookies. I walked over to the bread aisle and mulled over all the choices I didn't give a shit about, but as I looked further down the aisle I saw a very familiar face.

"Hey!" I called out and for a second she pretended not to hear me, but there was no way she didn't hear me. She turned to me and gave me an excited smile, waving at me and running over.

"Oh my god! Momoku! I haven't seen you in forever! I missed you!"

_Lying sack of shit._

It was weird knowing that somebody was being fake right to your face. What were you supposed to do? Call them out on it? Pretend like you didn't notice?

I smiled at her and returned her hug, wondering why she felt the need to be fake with me. We had been friends for years…

"I called you...but you never returned them." Her smile faltered momentarily, but instead she wove her hand in the air, dismissing my claim and returning to her eerily cheery manner.

"Oh yeah that. My phone is like, not working. It's totally dead and I need to get a new one. My mom says she'll get me another one soon, but who knows if she actually will." Lies lies lies.

"Ah..okay...well, what are you doing after grocery shopping? Do you want to go to the cafe?" I asked but I didn't know why I asked. I knew she was purposefully avoiding me and bold-faced lying to me, but I still wanted her friendship. I still wanted her to say yes and come hang out with me in the coffee shop. She sighed and rolled her eyes, putting on another act.

"Ugh! I can't! My mom is being so annoying and making me run all these errands for her today. Maybe some other time! When my phone is working again I'll call you!"

I wanted to ask her all these questions: Why are you avoiding me? What did I do wrong? Why do you hate me now? Why aren't we friends anymore? Why can't you just tell me the truth? What can I do to fix it?; but there was something so awkward about getting into her face about it. What would her answers be? Would I be able to handle her answers? What if she told me that she finally had an excuse to stop hanging out with me?

"Ah...okay. That sucks. Well..next time then." I said softly and she smiled at me and nodded.

"Totally! Next time. Well I'm on a time crunch so I gotta go! Bye Momoku! It was great to see you again!"

"Bye Mi-chan.." She generously gave me one last hug before turning around.

Well, maybe her phone really is broken.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

I pulled out my phone and dialed her number, my finger hesitating over the 'call' button for a couple seconds.

This would be it.

I put the phone to my ear and heard it ring a couple times and felt relieved when no sound came from her-

**_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing._**

The sound trickled from the end of the aisle where she had reached before her pocket started to vibrate and ring. As I held my phone to my ear I watched as she took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. Ever so slowly, she turned around to look at me.

And then she turned back around and walked away.

_**Hi! You've reached Migi's phone but I'm not available right now! Please leave a message and I'll get back to you! Bai-bai!**_

As the beep played on her voicemail I didn't know what to say. I couldn't hide in ambiguity as to whether or not she was purposefully ignoring me anymore. She had made her choice and she made sure to let me know what her decision was. I clicked the 'end call' button.

Sure I had lost some friends here and there, but that's because we had drifted apart. I had never had a friendship end so abruptly-no, it wasn't that it ended, it was that I was rejected. I was pretty sure that I hadn't done anything wrong, and yet, it was apparent that Migi hated me. I had done something to earn her scorn-or maybe I hadn't done anything at all.

Man did this hurt.

It hurt a lot.

But on the other hand, it's not like the irony wasn't lost on me. Karma finally had caught up to me as what I had done to Haruhi, was finally done to me.

I started to laugh.

It was funny in that depressing sort of way, you know?

-  
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

* * *

_**Message denied. This number does not support that function**_.

Maybe a video.

**_Message denied. This number does not support that function_**.

Maybe a picture message.

_**Message denied. This number does not support that function**_.

What kind of shitty phone did that girl have? Her phone was incapable of video chat, receiving videos and pictures. She probably had a phone that would break up the text messages after 160 characters too.

_What is she? A caveman?_

It wasn't like I was trying to send her anything remotely important. She hadn't set up her ipod to connect to wifi either.

_Why is she so technologically incompetent?_

I refrained from tapping my foot out of impatience, any physical sign that I was bothered would not be becoming of me. Today the Host Club was offering a Host Club luncheon and I had spent the last 15 minutes listening to Hideki Yatsuma babble about how her family was opening another chain of restaurants. I had eaten at her family's restaurant, it tasted like mediocre shit. I smiled and poured her another cup of tea.

"Your family is very wise in their business practices. I am glad to hear that your family is doing so prosperously." I said politely and she giggled, putting a hand over her mouth delicately as she blushed, her body turning to the side as she gave me a very practiced, coy look.

"Oh you're making me blush Kyouya-san...my family isn't even comparable to yours after all."

_No, it's not_.

"I think our families are in such different businesses that it's hard to compare. So tell me about your day Yatsuma-san."

"Well it all started with..."

I wasn't sure when she had started talking or what she had been talking about, but as I stared at this pretty girl, I wondered if she had any surgery done to her face. Her nose looked much too perfect and her jawline so nicely narrow like a doll. Maybe her face was totally natural. But I highly doubted it. Her mother probably had surgery done as well. I compared her to Momoku. Momoku had nicer lips. Momoku's nose wasn't as perfect and her face was a little rounder...but then again, she probably didn't diet and exercise as obsessively as this girl right here. Momoku's hair was definitely not as silky and nicely done...in fact, her hair was thick and frizzy, unpoermed and usually thrown up into a ponytail to hide its ugly nature.

"So Kyouya-san, you will be turning 18 next year right? Soon enough you will probably looking for a girlfriend to eventually become your wife."

Her tactlessness wasn't lost upon me. I smiled and filled up her cup of tea, gently placing the teapot back down onto the table as I made sure to keep eye contact with the silly girl.

"I am much too preoccupied with school and the family business to be thinking of such things right now."

-  
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

* * *

**_I have an emergency meeting at the company. I will call you later._**

I looked at the text Kyouya had sent me which was broken up into two texts as my phone was incapable of receiving large texts. I sighed and angrily slung my backpack over my shoulder. Two hours. That fucker made me wait two hours after school just so he could cancel whatever thing he had asked me to do in the first motherfucking place. The school was dark as almost everyone had left by now and I was sitting alone in the library with the librarian occasionally giving me dirty looks. Bitch was probably wondering when I was leaving.

Though, on the bright side, I did manage to finish all of my homework while I had been waiting for him...so I guess I had that going for me, which was nice.

**Thwunk. Thwunk. Thwunk thwunk thwunk. Thwunk.**

_What the hell is that?_

**Thwunk. Thwunk. WHAM!**

I jumped at the last noise which sounded like something had just splintered and burst. As I walked through the hallways I considerd that it was probably a stupid idea to go see what was making all this noise, but I was curious. What other poor sap was at the school at this hour like me? I was nearing the source of the noise as I crossed the cold campus grounds towards the outdoors gym area.

**Thwunk. Thwunk thwunk WHAM!**

It sounded like somebody was beating an inanimate object to death and when I rounded the corner and entered the Kendo practice building, somebody was indeed beating inanimate objects to death.

_Whoa._

It was like watching a moving advertisement from a GQ magazine as I watched him swing his kendo practice sword against the dummies. A quick glance to the corner showed me that he had broken about five of them.

It really was amazing to watch somebody do something they were so talented at.

The sinewy muscles which stretched and contracted with his every movement; the sweat that slowly dripped from his body like a glaze; the smooth movements of the limbs which were all so coordinated and fluid. He was beautiful. So unbelievably beautiful.

He raised his kendo stick and struck the dummy, breaking it to pieces as he fell to onto the ground as well.

"Senpai!" I involuntarily shouted and rushed over to him, worried that he had somehow hurt himself. He got up into a sitting position and looked at me in surprise as I knelt beside him. I looked down to see that my hands were clenching the fabric of his practice robe and I blushed, letting them go and putting my hands onto my lap.

"Why are you here?" He didn't ask it snidely or anything, but I was surprised by the gritty quality of his voice along with the number of syllables which emerged from his lips. I nervously tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and looked down, embarrassed that I had been caught watching him.

"Ah..I wasn't spying on you I swear.. I was actually waiting for somebody, but there was a change of plans... I uh.. I heard noises coming from here so I just wanted to check it out. Sorry... I uh..um.. I'll go now-wah!" I had gotten up to leave when he grabbed my wrist and somewhat forcefully pulled me back down. I stumbled and fell on my ass, my legs sprawled out in front of me.

"Stay here. I need to think." He stated in the same gritty and tired voice. Slowly, he put his head down onto my lap and closed his eyes, putting his arm over his face as if he had planned on going to sleep.

"Uh...o...o..okay.." I had no idea what had just occurred or what was going on. My body had stiffened when he put his head on my lap but I was progressively relaxing, putting my arms down at my sides and doing my best to avoid touching him like a creep. He sighed and moved his arm from his face, looking up at me with a thin layer of sweat still covering his face. I looked away, finding his gaze to be a little too intense for me to handle like a reasonable human being.

"You can't look at me." He said and I laughed lightly, glancing at him before returning my stare to the ground.

"I just feel weird staring at you I guess..sorry...It's not like I don't want to look at you or anything..or um..ah.."

"Please look at me." I obeyed without thought, finding that my face was beginning to heat up when I matched his gaze. He was staring into my eyes and for some reason I got the sense that he was reading my mind. My face started to heat up even more when I remembered that his head was laying in top of my lap. I nervously looked away and became fixated on a piece of dust that was on the wall.

"Are you alright Mori-senpai?" I asked, trying to make some sense of the situation which felt so surreal. Even though I had looked away already, from the corner of my eyes I could see that he was still staring at my face.

"No. I am not feeling well. I am exhausted."

"Oh...well...we should get you home to rest then..." Again I tried to move, but again he reached up and held my wrist, bringing my hand to his chest as he held it with his own. The soft touch of his skin was abrupt and snapped me out of whatever reverie I was in. As my hand lay over his chest underneath his, I could feel the racing pulse of his heart. The adrenaline from his exercise was probably still pumping his blood at a faster than normal rate.

I actually remembered something from my biology class.

"I need you to stay here with me for a little bit. Please don't move.." He was talking a lot more than his usual self and he was acting really oddly. Maybe he really was ill. Mentally ill.

"What is going in with you Mori-senpai..?" I asked tentatively, hoping to figure out just what the hell was going on right now. He had closed his eyes again, his body relaxing as I felt his pulse begin to slow down. He kept his eyes closed.

"Why do you like Kyouya?" He asked and I held my breath, taken aback by his question. Had Kyouya said something...? What did he say? I had been under the impression that Kyouya was keeping..uh..whatever was going on, a secret. I hadn't said anything to anyone at least..

"Uhh..." I tried to consider what to tell him, running the possibility of just straight up lying to him and telling him that I had no idea what he was talking about. He gently squeezed my hand.

"Just answer me, please."

And just like that, all desire to lie went out the window.

"I don't really know...he is mean a lot of times...but sometimes he can be really nice. He surprises me I guess...and I guess...I don't know... I've never had anyone like me like that before...it feels nice." He opend his eyes at that and sat up suddenly, turning to look at me with a less than amused face.

"You like him because you think you have never had someone like you in that way before?" He asked in a very serious voice and I felt flustered, shaking my head and waving my hands at him to emphasize how wrong he was.

"No! That isn't what I meant at all! I was just saying that it was nice! I-I do like him for..for him..i just..why are you asking me this? Does it even matter to you?" He put his hand on my head and I expected him to pat my head like a dog, just as he had done many times before. Instead he softly ran his fingers through my hair, cupping my face with his large hand and lightly rubbing the top of my cheek with his thumb.

"It matters to me. It matters to me...greatly."

"But why...?"

He pulled his and away and smiled at me, a sincere smile that I hadn't seen from him before.

"You are important to me. Your happiness is important to me."

I felt a warmth inside of me, but despite that I still didn't understand him. Why? Why why why? Why was I important to him? Why was my happiness important to him? We weren't even close friends...so why? Did I miss something at some point or another? Why?

"But I don't understand. Why-"

He reached out and gathered me in his arms, hugging me to his chest as he slowly ran his fingers through my hair again. I didn't know how much I liked the feeling until he showed me. I was breathless. I think I had forgotten how to keep a steady breath.

"You mean a lot to me."

"Senpai..."

He pulled away from me and gently pulled me up into a standing position, holding my hands as he looked down at me.

I suddenly felt very confused.

"Senpai-"

The door slid open and I immediately retracted my hands from Mori's as if I had just been doing something that I shouldn't have been doing. I looked to see a mildly irritated Kyouya whose face was otherwise expressionless. He glanced from Mori to me and pushed up his glasses, casually tucking his ipad to his side before giving me a level stare.

"Your phone is off." He stated tonelessly and I fumbled around, reaching into my bag that had been tossed onto the ground a few feet away. I pulled it out of my bag and saw that the battery had died.

"Ah..whoops. I forgot to charge it..the battery died..wait how did you know I was here?" I was trying to get over the tension that was so obviously heavy in the air as Kyouya looked back to Mori without even greeting him. How did Kyouya know where I was? Did he have supernatural powers for real?

"Your ipod. Your location services are on." He said it so matter of fact that I almost didn't notice how creepily stalkerish that was. Almost.

"You..you tracked me?" I asked in surprise, somewhat offended and feeling as if my rights had somehow been violated. He glanced at me and gave me an unamused look.

"Don't exaggerate. It was the easiest way to find you. Come on. We have to go."

"We do? Where are we going-"

"Just come on."

"O..okay. Um..bye Mori-senpai! I hope you feel better." I turned and waved at Mori, but he wasn't even looking at me. He was staring at Kyouya.

There was something weird going on here. I turned to say something to Kyouya when he lightly shoved me forward, grabbing my backpack as he pushed me out the door.

"My driver is right around the corner, you go first. I will be right there."

"Are you-"

"Just go."

-  
Xoxoxoxoxo

* * *

The look he gave me was enough to tell me he knew. And that was what made it even more infuriating.

I stared at the boy who was several inches taller than me and stronger than me by a mile. He looked at me with an unreadable expression, but we both understood the tension in the air. Here was the moment where I would have to either outline what his boundaries with Momoku were to be, or trust that he understood where I drew the line. To actually say it out loud would be to admit that whatever I had with Momoku was more serious than I currently considered it. To say that there were no boundaries would be dishonest.

So I stared at the boy. He knew exactly what I wanted to say without having to vocalize it.

_You stay away from her._

But he wasn't looking away or even pretending to be cordial. He knew what I wanted, but he wasn't readily agreeing.

Without saying a word, I turned and left, quietly sliding the door closed behind me as I walked to the car where Momoku sat cluelessly listening to her ipod.

-  
Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

* * *

I wasn't an idiot.

I knew something wasn't right between Kyouya and Mori, but I knew enough that Kyouya would tell me that either 1: it was none of my business, or 2: it was nothing, or 3: Lie and tell me it was about something trivial. But as I sat in the car I was silent, not even questioning where I was being taken as we drove away from the school. Kyouya had not said a word to me, instead opting to click away at a spreadsheet on his tablet for work. I moved to put my headphones in when he reached over and yanked them out of my hands, still not looking at me.

"Soji, pull over here. Wait for us here, we shouldn't be more than half an hour."

"Of course sir."

He wordlessly got out and opened the car door for me, looking more like an emotionless manikin than an actual human. I quietly got out of the car and followed him as he walked away, wondering if he finally decided to harvest my organs. It was weird to be around Kyouya. I knew he wasn't happy, but I had no clue what caused it and what I had to do with it. I also had no idea how to cheer him up or if any of my words or actions would anger him further. As I walked beside the boy, I realized just how little I actually knew about the person he was. I knew nothing. I didn't know him in the least bit.

"Senpai..."

"Call me Kyouya. I think we've already crossed too many lines for you not to be calling me by my name." He said it tonelessly and didn't snap at me the way I had expected him to. I nodded, blushing at the realization that it was pretty silly to not call him by his name. Swapping spit probably meant you were allowed to refer to each other by your first names...

"Hai..Kyouya..."

"So what is it?"

"Um...where are we going?"

He didn't answer, slowing down enough so that I could walk beside him rather than trundle behind. Maybe he didn't hear me.

"Kyouya? Where are we-"

"I don't know."

"Um.." He stopped and turned to me, scrutinizing me with his intimidating glare. I blinked, wondering if I had said something wrong to deserve this glare.

After what seemed like several minutes he finally spoke.

"What are your feelings for Morinozuka?"

"Eh?" Was this jealousy? Was Kyouya being jea-

"I am not being jealous. I want you to clarify for me so that I know whether or not I'm wasting my time here."

And of course he read my mind, but I wasn't impressed for too long as the rest of his words sunk in.

_Wasting his time?_

"E-excuse me?"

"You heard me. What are your-"

"Wasting _your_ time? What about _me_? What about _my_ clarification?" I wasn't sure why I was angry with the way he phrased it, but I was. He wasn't the only person who had questions. I was just as confused with what was going on, if not more. He raised an eyebrow as if I were being petulant.

"I have been quite clear. You on the other hand, hanging out with Morinozuka by yourself-"

"Clear about _what_? What have you been clear about? Because I'm not clear about anything. I was hanging out with Mori-senpai because, in case you didn't remember, you canceled on me after I waited for you after school like you asked. You kissed me twice, pretended like it didn't happen the first time and then didn't talk about it after the second time. All of a sudden I'm the one wasting _your_ time?" His demeanor didn't change and it infuriated me. He was so calm even after he stood me up and then dragged me out into the cold. Now he was accusing me...he was accusing me of something. I guess he was accusing me of liking Mori and I guess I would be lying if I said that I didn't like him...but it wasn't like. I was trying to get with Mori or anything. Mori was..Mori was a friend. He was a friend who supported me before anyone else did. He was a friend who treated me like human when the rest of his stupid rich friends didn't. Kyouya crossed his arms.

"There's no reason to raise your voice. I asked you a simple question." He completely disregarded what I had just said and it...it didn't feel good. It didn't feel good at all. It hurt.

"I have a question for you too. A simple question."

"Then ask it."

"What are your feelings for me?"

He opened his mouth for a moment and then shut it, as if the words he had planned on saying suddenly weren't the ones he wanted to say. He pursed his lips.

"I've made my feelings clear."

"Say it. Say it out loud."

"Don't be petulant."

"Can't you just say it?" Now it was beginning to really hurt. What was his problem that he couldn't even say that he liked me? He uncrossed his arms and sighed as if he were dealing with a child. I grew even angrier. Was he just fucking with me? He reached out to put a hand on my shoulder but I slapped it away, purposefully putting extra force into it purposefully. A flicker of surprise went across his normally calm face and I could see he was getting angry with me as well. Good. At least I wasn't the only pissed off now.

"If you're going to be like this-"

"Then _what_? What are you going to do? Leave me here? Take me straight home? Good. I wanted to be home three hours ago and I know how to use the subway."

"Fine. Find your way home. Here's money for the subway." He shoved several bills into my hands and walked off, leaving me with a fistful of money as I held the tears back.

_Asshole_.

I had been 50/50 on that. I knew that he probably would leave me here as I wasn't that far from my house...but I still hoped that he wouldn't. The moment he was out of eyesight I wiped at my face, sniffling as I looked around. I was hurt and it felt like someone had socked me in the gut. Opening my hand I saw that he had shoved $200 into my hands, not even caring about the amount of money he gave me. If it weren't $200, I would have shredded it just to make a statement...

But $200 would be so stupid to waste. So I was going to buy something nice before I went home.

-  
Xoxoxoxoxoxo

* * *

By the time I had gotten back to the car I was seeing less red and I was mildly regretting my decision to leave her there like that. Soji gave me a confused look, wondering where Momoku was and I merely waved for him to start the car.

_Questioning me about my feelings. I wasn't the one getting cozy in a dark room with the opposite sex._

But even as I was fuming, I was heavily considering getting back out to retrieve her.

_No, I won't chase her._

I wasn't a fucking dog. It wasn't my fault that she was so thickheaded and stubborn. That wasn't my goddamn problem.

My feelings are clear. Why do I need to say anything? Why should I have to explain anything? She's the one who owes me a goddamn explanation.

"Soji, start heading home."

"But what of Miss Murayama?"

"I said to start heading home."

"Yes sir."

Despite my anger I was pulling out my tablet to view her ipod's gps. It was moving along the subway route to her home.

And even when I made it home myself, my eyes were glued to my tablet until I saw that little blue dot had made it back to her house address.

That is how I felt about her. Even when she drove me insane I wanted to know that she made it back home safely. Even when she was being an idiot, I still worried about her. When her phone's battery had died I had to know where she was. I had to know that she was alright. I wanted to know that she was safe and that she wasn't getting herself into trouble. I wanted to make sure she did well in school so that she would have a bright future ahead of her. I wanted her to be tutored so that she could have the best chance at getting that bright future. I wanted her to be near me because it put me at ease. I wanted to be near her because it made me happy. I wanted to eat the cupcakes she baked and didn't want anyone else to have them.

Those were my feelings.

Why did I need to say it out loud?

Didn't my actions speak loudly enough?

_You did just abandon her on the sidewalk in the middle of the city._

But besides that, didn't I make it clear how I felt about her?


End file.
